First Cycle TTC after MMC

[rosecbrm]

Hello ladies, I've just started my first cycle since having a MMC with surgical management in May. That was my second pregnancy and second miscarriage, first being in September 2023.

Going to start TTC again but with a much more relaxed approach (try to anyway!). Looking for anyone to share the journey with?

Baby dust to all xxx

@Steffi12 I didn't have any guidance on when to try again as I suppose the last time I was there it was for the TFMR. I could potentially ask my bereavement midwife but not sure if she will know. I should be seeing a consultant within the next month for the results of the postmortem and genetics testing. I am due to ovulate end of next week so if my body is playing ball I plan on trying again as of next week.
I was actually ok with my period. It was 3 days long which is normal for me and one of the days was a little heavier then usual for me but I think I got rid of the blood etc after the medical intervention as I bled for 3 weeks and had a huge clot at the end of it.
I shall start LH strips at the end of this week but I don't do temping, never did with my last 2 pregnancies either. It is just a hassle that I can't be bothered with 🤣
If I haven't conceived by the end of the year I think I shall accept I am one and done. We have always said we won't do stuff where intervention is needed like IVF just to get a second living child. I do hope I can give my daughter a sibling but what will be will be. I just hope I don't need to go through another TFMR as I think it will break me

Hoping this is me ovulating again 🤞

Hi lovely's,

Hope everyone's ok! AF did show bang on time and I am now on CD5, but it's reassuring to know that my cycle is back to normal after the MMC, it was 28 days exactly from my first period after the surgery.

Hope you're all keeping well 🤍

@Lovedatforme looks good for ovulation today. ☺️
@rosecbrm oh that's good. I miss the days where I used to have 28 day cycles. After having my daughter my cycles are anywhere from 29 to 35 days 🤦 which keeps me on my toes. I have only just hady first period since medical management so I am hoping my cycles are somewhat kind to me now

Hope you're all doing ok. AF arrived a couple of days ago for me and COVID, but I've felt mostly ok about it (probably because I'm too ill to stress about it!). Took 5 weeks from surgery to return which is only about two days longer than usual.

Morning ladies, sorry again I fell off the radar a bit. After having what I think was covid it took me a while to recover fully and work has been crazy!

The other thing I need to share, and I want to say this as gently as possible as I don’t want to upset anyone as know how hard it is hearing this while in the thick of TTC, but I got my BFP Wednesday

As I say I’m really sorry if this has upset anyone. If this gives anyone comfort, I was a bit ahead as this was our 5th cycle of trying

Sending lots of love and baby dust to everyone ❤️✨

xx

@Steffi12 tentative congratulations! Hope this is a sticky baby for you. And don't worry about sharing - for me anyway it gives me some hope seeing it happen for others, and I need that hope to keep going xx

@Steffi12 please don’t ever apologise for being pregnant. It gives us hope as @moosey89 said. Congratulations 🎉🎉🎉🌈🌈🌈🌈

This is great news congrats!!

@moosey89 @Nic2908 @Lovedatforme

Thank you so so much ladies it really means a lot❤️ xx

@Steffi12 that's great news and gives me hope too. I hope it all goes well!

@Steffi12 that's amazing news! Congratulations lovely xxx

@13lucy @rosecbrm
Thanks so much ladies, means the world❤️xx

CD11 for me today and I haven't been tracking anything, but I have started wearing my Apple Watch to bed which takes your BBT I think! Not too sure what I'm looking for but thought I'd give it a go!

@rosecbrm that's a good idea, you'll see a temp rise once you've ovulated until your period. I'm around CD9 and don't ovulate until CD20ish so I've got a bit of a wait now! Been feeling really rubbish lately.

@13lucy thanks lovely, I'll keep an eye out!
CD14 today and I've got lots of discharge (sorry TMI), the past couple of days I've had EWCM but today it just seems to be a milky consistency and colour but lots of it, so I think I'm actually ovulation today - I guess we'll find out tomorrow if my temp drops!

On another note though I've been feeling really poorly the last few days (fluey almost!) so I'm hoping that doesn't mess things up.

Sorry to hear you've been feeling awful, in terms of TTC or physically? If there's anything at all we can help with please feel free to share on here!

This community has really helped me with TTC and how draining it is, but it's lovely to have people to speak with who are on the same journey xx

@rosecbrm good that you're at ovulation! Your BBT will rise over the next couple of days to confirm it. Hope you don't get ill! It might affect your temp for a day but not usually any longer than that. That's why ovulation is only confirmed with a sustained shift in BBT. Handy that you can use your watch for it!

I think I'm just feeling a lot of emotions - grief and trauma from two losses and also seeing other people around me progress with their pregnancies and the jealousy around it. Can't help but think it will never happen for us and it's getting me down again. It's all the waiting and time disappearing that's making it so much worse. Think I just feel so isolated and lonely. It's great to chat about it on here but I can't speak to anyone I know completely openly. On a 6 month waiting list for counselling which seems a lifetime away!

Also just feel like I'm floating through life and everything has lost meaning at the moment. I have good days and bad but the last few days have been hard.

@13lucy I completely understand how you're feeling, I'm feeling the same. I'm having the odd day where I feel good again, then go back into just waking up, going through the motions, then going to bed. It's weirdly exhausting.

@13lucy so sorry to hear you're feeling like this, I know exactly how you feel.

That's part of the reason why this month I've been really trying not to apply any pressure to TTC as for me, I've found it such a draining process and trying to let things be almost takes off any pressure in a strange way as I think well I haven't actually been trying properly.

I totally relate to thinking it will never happen for us, I have those thoughts every day but we have to remain positive. It will happen.

We'll get there lovely, I hope you start feeling better soon 🩷

@moosey89 sorry you're also in the same position lovely.

Hopefully in the not so distant future we can all look back on this and appreciate it was our journey and we're where we should be now, with our rainbow babies 🌈 x

Thanks @rosecbrm - it's hard to keep the hope sometimes. I find myself often wondering these days "what if I go through all this only to end up hating being a mum"! It's so hard. I'm so jealous of those who it comes easily to x

@rosecbrm thank you for the positivity! It is so draining isn't it, and when you finally get a BFP you think you won't have to go through TTC again for a while and it's so much harder when you go back to square one again! I think I find it especially hard when things are mostly working out for everyone around me. I think it amplifies the isolation and loneliness.

@moosey89 I know the feeling and it's hard not having a definitive answer as to whether it will work out or not. I find it so hard hearing people moaning about their kids all the time when I'd give anything to be in their position! I also feel a lot of jealously now and I feel like I'm a bad person for feeling it. I don't really want to be around anyone who is pregnant or has kids at the moment but wondering whether putting it off might make it worse?!

@13lucy I find pregnant people a lot harder than babies to be honest. I think it's the innocence of babies. But I still find it hard initially and feel that pang of emptiness. Don't feel bad for feeling jealous, it's totally normal! Xx

@moosey89 it's not a nice feeling at all! I think it's partly jealously but also that it brings up your timelines and feelings of loss. It really is complex isn't it - wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy!