TTC after Early Miscarriage part 3

[Ella31]

Part three of of our previous threads.

I got my twins post mortem letter today. Going into the clinic on Friday to dicuss the findings.

@Ella31 sending you love and strength for reading the letter and having those discussions. You are an amazing mother to both of those boys. 💕 I hope it's a helpful process for you. Xx

@Ella31 I'm sorry to hear you have to go in on friday. Hopefully they can help you get some answers. Just remember to be kind to yourself xxxx

Aw thank you. I'm ready for answers now. We know why but there's a few things I want to understand more. But I was very blessed with my care. The midwives and my obgn were amazing

Thanks a mil. We know already why but there's a few things I need to know to ease my mind. Nervous but also want to do this if that makes sense

I'll be thinking of you ❤️ I hope it answers any questions you still have and helps you heal xx

@Ella31 thinking of you. Hope you get some answers to your questions.

@Ella31 sending you love and strength for the week coming. I’m sure it’ll be difficult even when you know why.
I’ve had some EWCM today which is hopefully a positive sign. Trying to coax DH into DTD without telling him we need to.

Thanks so much @Ncl31

Hopefully your ovulation isn't too far. I think I'm 2 or three days away. Tests are high ish so dtd every 2 days until they are blazing

@Ella31 just remember we're all here for you if you need it 🥰

I'm out. After being convinced from the cramps end of last week I'd had a good few days of no cramping and stupidly allowed myself to get hopeful again. Started to feel crampy again late last night though. Was just getting ready to do a test this morning to put myself out of my misery and then wiped so didn't need to.
Had a good cry.
I now won't be pregnant before what would have been my due date from our loss.
Another friend just announced her own pregnancy. She's had losses herself and absolutely deserves this. But its really cutting deep that it's not me too. 😢😢😢

Morning. Can I join please?

There's a lot to catch up on in this thread so I'm probably going to have to learn everyone's stories as I go. It looks like a wonderful supportive community.

I had a D&C on May 16. The pregnancy was conceived on my first cycle after I stopped feeding DD, who is now 22 months, the D&C took place at what would have been 8 weeks, but stopped growing at about 5 weeks.

I asked 2 nurses and 2 consultants at the hospital if we needed to wait one full cycle to try to conceive again, and all 4 said there was no medical reason, and that it was just for dating, so if using ovulation tests, to go ahead. I do worry that my hormones weren't ready/the lining wasn't ready etc after breastfeeding, but every medical professional I asked said that there is no evidence to suggest this and that the miscarriage was most likely due to chromosome abnormalities. Also, I had a lot of bleeding before the D&C (as in, a full heavy 'period', I found out I was ~5 weeks pregnant 2 weeks later), so that suggests there was enough lining, I suppose.

I'm now 12 days post D&C, so sort of CD12. I got a flashing smiley on Clearblue digital today.

I've only tracked ovulation for 2 complete cycles (conceiving DD, and the miscarriage). However, both times, I've had quite a few days flashing smiley, solid smiley - but negative on Easy@Home cheapies - THEN solid smiley AND positive on Easy@Home, on the first cycle it was CD17, the second one was CD?? since I hadn't had a period whilst breastfeeding at all. So, if everything is 'normal' this cycle (well aware it may not be), and the flashing smiley is part of the normal routine, I'd expect to ovulate some time in the next week.

@ExTriTrying welcome.
You won't meet a more supportive group. I get so much support and encouragement from reading the posts that aren't even directed at me just as much as from the ones that are!
I'm sorry for your loss.
I'm feeling v.down this morning.

I've just started AF this morning on what would be the final cycle to be pregnant before what would have been the due date of my loss pregnancy.
But we have an appt in a few days with a private fertility clinic. I thought that would ease the disappointment of this month. But it's just filling me with dread currently.
I've had to come upstairs as I can't look at my little one without crying. I just want to give them a sibling so badly and feel I'm letting them down if I don't. Which I know is irrational but I can't shake it.
Good luck with your peak in next few days 🤞🏻 Xx

@Onthedouble123 I'm so sorry AF arrived, I also wasn't pregnant at my due date and it wasn't as hard as I thought it was going to be ❤️

I hope your upcoming appointment renews some hope for you, I have no doubt you'll get there and have another baby xx

@Onthedouble123 I'm sorry to hear you're struggling. I really hope the appointment will bring some positivity. I know exactly what you mean about not wanting your little one to see you feeling sad. It's hard, but I'm sure they are so happy, and you're creating a wonderful home for them. x

TW - Miscarriage
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Looks like I'm miscarrying again 😢 I was hoping this would be implantation bleeding, it's gone from pink to brown but I've just done the last HPT I had and it's BFN. EPU have said if the spotting stops, they'll do bloods on Sunday as I'll be 6 weeks then. Midwife phoned today to book my early appointment because of history and when I said I was spotting they said they'll leave it for now and phone me back next week. Think I'll get a digital tomorrow but I think I already know in my heart. Sorry ladies, just needed to vent. Xxx

I’m so sorry you’re in this position. I pray for you that the spotting stops and everything is okay.
if it’s not, please vent here all you need to, we’re here to support each other

So sorry @DonnaWhat it’s so unfair.

Ive not been active on here for a little while as I was waiting to TTC after an ERPC 4 weeks ago. However had a call today saying the MC is a partial molar 😔 So my TTC journey is on pause now for who knows how long while I wait to be referred to a specialist centre in Sheffield for them to track my HCG levels as a very rare chance it can turn into cancer. Not how I was expecting this to go

@Onthedouble123 that date is hard when it comes but You are a strong person and just remember there will be many more dates that soon you will be celebrating even if it doesn't feel like it now xxx

Oh @DonnaWhat I don't know what to say as I know there's no bloody words. Im just so sorry. Don't ever apologise as everyone on here knows the heartache. I'm thinking of you my dear and just keep posting here. Xxxx

@Figtree11 christ you poor thing. Most molars are benign but you are right to pause and just get sorted. If you are comfortable to, keep posting here if it brings you some comfort. You don't have to be actively ttc on this thread xxx

Welcome. Sorry for your loss. You are in the right place. It's a tough journey but everyone here is so supportive. Xx

Thanks @Ella31 I appreciate that. My head is in a spin & don’t really know who to talk to.
My pregnancy tests are so faint now compared to last week which is promising. But that meant that I stupidly then had sex at the weekend thinking this was following the same trajectory as last time and that in a few days it would be negative and I’d be fine to fully commit to TTC again. But have been told I can’t ttc as they won’t be able to tell if hcg levels go up whether it is a new pregnancy or the start of it turning cancerous. So now I’m stressing about that.

I so badly wanted to be TTC soon, but now it will be weeks if not months. So I’m bothered about that along with worrying about everything that comes with it being molar. Never knew when starting TTC last year what a rollercoaster it would be & all the things that could go wrong.

I completely can connect with your last few lines. Ttc looks rosy from the outside doesn't it. I'm sorry it's gone this way for you but don't despair, I truly believe things will come right for you. Nothing I say is going to make it better but just keep talking. It's what gets me through my own battles. Always happy to listen.

Thanks @Ella31 At work this morning someone I know asked me if I was ok & I burst into tears. But she shared with me that she had also had a MC in the past. Opening up to people does help I find