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Original poster

Am I too young to be a mum?

115 replies

ellemummy · 02/02/2024 23:19

Im 16 years old and live in england, I'm in a hairdressing programme and am currently looking for work. Me and my boyfriend have been together almost a year now and have been talking about babies for a long time, as I have younger sisters and would like to have one of my own. He earns his own money and is moving into his own house soon, where I will be living with him. We think that maybe when we are settled in this house maybe we should start trying to have a baby and stop using contraception, but how do I know if this is the right decision? My mum said she would be angry at first but would support me, but I am currently living with my dad who would not be very happy. I think we would be good parents and have a dog together, who we both look after very well. Should I live my dream and have a baby of my own or wait until I am older? All opinions welcome thank you!!

OP posts:

LocalHobo · 03/02/2024 15:34

What's the rush? You can carry on having babies for years hopefully but, as we age and pick up responsibilities, there is so much more to take into account if we want to backpack around the World, change career direction, live in the Outback, join a cult, go into space, become an activist etc. etc.

dottiedodah · 03/02/2024 15:39

16 is very young .A lot of responsibility comes with babies .Maybe wait even to 20 /21 at least .You can change so much and there is time for you and partner to get to know each other free from ties

MermaidEyes · 03/02/2024 15:46

holycrabsticks · 03/02/2024 13:48

How many adult women here do you reckon are still with their high school boyfriends from when they were 16?

How many women here do you reckon would cringe their tits off at being tied to their boyfriend from when they were 16 for the rest of their lives?

I'd love to see a poll.

I literally only know one couple who have been together since 15. Absolutely no one else.
OP children shouldn't be having children. And I assume your boyfriend will just be renting somewhere as he won't currently be able to get a mortgage.

spicedlemonpie · 03/02/2024 15:57

I was a young mum and its bloody hard i was 16 for my first and 18 for my last.
I wouldnt change it for the world but take my advice dont do it yet give it a few years.
I had no help at all i raised both as a single mum still single by choice.

My children are all adults now and i have my life back to do what i want.
I did not miss out on anything as some would say tbh i look back now and think thank god i had them when i did.
But please times are different now and its hard work what your thinking now your not going to be thinking the same in 5 years time.

Thehamsterthatcametotea · 03/02/2024 16:26

All of your family had babies at a young age, what else have they done with their life? What have they achieved other than having children?

Do you not have any goals?

Newsenmum · 03/02/2024 16:31

start earning money and build up the future you want to give your future as they deserve the best!

candyisdandybutliquorisquicker · 03/02/2024 16:34

toomanyleggings · 03/02/2024 15:14

I saw a girl yesterday who must have been 15, at the most 16 with a toddler. I honestly thought it was so sad. She already had an air of the downtrodden. Such a waste of her young years. Children are lovely but incredibly stressful and expensive. Wait ten years.

Exactly.

OP, your post has depressed me. You are at the cusp of adulthood with everything ahead of you. Please expand your horizons so that they are broader than your mother's. I'm the child of teenage parents and it was drilled - drilled - into me to make better choices than they did.

Having a child at 16 would be disastrous.

Thedance · 03/02/2024 16:35

Yes you are much too young. A baby isn't a dog having a child will change your life forever. And you might not believe this but you are still growing up yourself.
Finish your education and focus on yourself for a while. You have years and years before you need to even think about having children.

Throwawayme · 03/02/2024 16:36

You're still a child yourself and you absolutely shouldn't be thinking babies at your age. Your boyfriend has a job, but at 16 or even 17, 18, there's no way he's earning enough to support a family. Wait until your brain is fully developed and don't tie yourself forever to the boyfriend you have at 16, it might feel like you'll be together forever but realistically, most childhood romances don't last into adulthood.

NotARealWookiie · 03/02/2024 17:33

Talk66talk · 03/02/2024 13:24

Irrelevant with todays COL.

Show quote history

Or, very relevant given the prospect of being a single parent being even harder with cost of living.

CatmumTTC · 03/02/2024 19:20

Can only speak from my own experience. I remember feeling really broody at around 18. So glad I didn't give into this feeling though as was able to do lots of investing travel in my 20s that I had no idea I even wanted to do when I was 16-18. I also don't like going out drinking but there's more to being a child free adult than that! Having money to learn new hobbies or visit new places.

You can still be a young mum at 25 but you will have given yourself more time to work out who you are without having to look after someone else. Enjoy living together first for a few years at least without a baby would be my suggestion.

WithACatLikeTread · 03/02/2024 21:16

Guavafish1 · 03/02/2024 15:02

No, your not. My mum was a young mum. It's nice to have a young mum companion later in life. Go for it!

Just be prepared for financial restrictions, if your partner is not comfortable.

You don't have children to have a little mini me, a mate. 🙄

Elisabeth3468 · 03/02/2024 22:25

100 percent wait!
Having a baby is sooo different to how you expect it trust me.
Get a stable home and a decent job before even trying. It's important. I was always broody and wanted a baby from very young! I never tried though because I know it wouldn't have been wise.
I had my baby at 25. As soon as I'd done uni , got a job and bought a house then we started trying. Now trying for a second at 27.
Not saying everyone has to follow this path but at least make sure you can provide for the baby.

AspiringToBlueBeanbagHood · 08/02/2024 18:10

BombaySamphire · 03/02/2024 11:40

Go back to school and grow up.

🤣 Take a look in the mirror. No need for nastiness really is there.

dingledangledinkledoo · 08/02/2024 18:13

The chances of you and your boyfriend being together in 5-10 years are minuscule. It will be HIS house. Not yours.

Don't you want to travel? See the world? Please, have some sort of life before you shackle yourself with a baby on a low/no income with insecure housing. The baby , your future children, deserve better.

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