The Hut of Gl/Doom Part VI - And Yes, We've Tried Fecking Relaxing!

[OracleInaCoracle]

new home. I liked the decor in the old one, nless someone wants to redecorate!

Thanks Anniemac, wishing you the best too. xx

Have namechanged as some in RL (including my sister) know my posting name and I don't want to worry them but I feel awful today and need somewhere to metaphorically hide away. FTC has turned me into a right miserable old mess and I need somewhere where I know I'll be taken for who I am/how I feel and not told to pull my socks up or be grateful for what I've got...
Actually what I need to say is that I think I'm suffering depression over all this and I need somewhere to sort my own mind out before talking to anyone in RL about it. Is it ok to do that here? I know I don't have to apologise for dragging the hut spirit down, but I feel bad for troubling you with it anyway. I thought about posting in the mental helath section (in fact last night I wrote so many posts but deleted them all before posting) but it's all so tied up with FTC that here seemed a better place. Sorry.

oh nc01, don't apologise for anything, please. It's completely natural to feel like shit. I hope you find some kind of resolution to it all soon. I set the Hut up when I felt exactly this way. It didn't last for ever, that feeling, which is just as well because it's so tiring. I hope you start to feel better soon.

Hi duchesse thanks for replying. I was wondering if the hut was as busy as it used to be? I keep thinking that I need to speak to someone but can't really bring myself to do it. Every time I think about ringing the GP I chicken out. I knew the hut would understand.

Hi NC01 Sorry you're feeling crap. You are completely among friends who understand how low this stuff can get you. Vent away. Also I just wanted to let you know that I went to the GP and got counselling after a miscarriage in the summer and I'm really glad I did. It brought up a whole load of other stuff I wasn't expecting AT ALL! But with my last session due in a few days, I'm feeling in a much better place.

Mumsnet is great when you want anonymity and a community of people who have experienced very similar events and maybe understand a bit better than your RL friends. I'd say counsellors are particularly brilliant because you are not judged in any way and they will not advise you to do this or that which often well meaning friends and relations do, without realising it might not be what you want.

I hope you find the support you need. Good luck. Here's a silly festive thingy as a start x

Oh, also forgot to say, I'm not sure where you're at with TTC (not sure what FTC is sorry?) but when I went for the fertility tests at the hosp, they said they offer a counselling service specifically for folks going through fertility issues. Maybe another avenue if the GP doesn't feel right? x

Thanks fruitbowl I have been ttc (or rather failing to concieve - FTC) for 3 years and we've just got to the IVF stage which didn't work. The IVF clinic fees included one session of counselling but further sessions were charged for (about £50 a session) I really think I need to go to my GP about it - it's not just you who's said it helped them to talk to someone about it. I just need to actually make an appointment and not keep chickening out.

hi NC, im sorry you are feeling like this. ftc is shit. agree you should see a gp. in the meantime, absinthe?

ta lissie don't mind if I do.

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agree, when i think back to when we first started to ttc (when it was actually that) i feel so disheartened and naive.

considering going back tospecialist on jan and insisting on clomid to kick start things again!

oh lissie I know how you feel - so naive in those days eh? My mum even told me off because if I'd got pg first month I would have been due at the time of DH's big work exam. I hope you can get clomid but forgive me for asking - isn't your prob holding onto pgs rather than getting pg or have things changed since I was last in the hut?

tbh nc, ive not really been pg for over a year now. bit worried that last mc might have messed me up a bit, it was a nasty long drawn out affair. will give anything a go now!

Well be careful with clomid - been there done that and IVF cons was that I'd even been prescribed it in the first place tbh. I don't think it led to my ep but the ep was a clomid cycle. I thought you'd given up ttc but obv not! Weren't you going to do a course/re-train or something too? Not seen you around for a while but then I've not been around much either.

just outed myself haven't I?

hi nomore, finished course now. and somehow cant let go of ttc!

pmsl

It's hard to let go isn't it? Although not stopping ttc we're waiting while we save up for the next go at IVF (and waiting for a post-ep lap and dye) so I feel we're not doing anything proactive towards ttc. What was your course? Wasn't it something to do with ttc? I remember you sayingyou wanted to help other women ttc? Was it homeopathy?

PS Mum - if you're reading this don't worry about me, I'm feeling much better now and had a really good chat with DH and have promised him I'll go to GP if I feel down again.

it was holistic therapies. i reall enjoyed it, but my mood has taken a bit of a dive recently so concentrating on getting back up to speed!

bless you You're a good person lissie Has your mood dived because of the course or the ftc? I know it's a cliche but ttc is a rollercoaster with ups as well as downs. I keep trying to remind myself of that too...

its al kinds of things. my anorexia has returned with a vengance and i have rickets too which has compounded everything, but ftc has been bubbling under it all.

oh love - don't beat youself up about ftc, it'll only make things worse. You have an amazing DS to fight through all this crap for.