The Hut of Gl/Doom Part VI - And Yes, We've Tried Fecking Relaxing!

[OracleInaCoracle]

new home. I liked the decor in the old one, nless someone wants to redecorate!

Oh yes, i realy do feel like screaming FUCK OFF at anyone who says 'just try not to think about it' or 'stress makes it worse' infact the next person who says it is going to get beaten to a pulp with my CBFM.

Herbaceous, at least i am not alone. Sure some one will be aling in a minute to slap us on the wrists and give us the talk.#

I really like the word shittery.

18 months is a long time Annie, i concieved last time after 19 months though so you never know your luck. It is hard having sex enough, and isnt sex shit now when instead of thinking about ben affleck your partner your thinking about his sperms and the stringyness of your secretions.

I guess the 6 month since the miscarriage have been even harder as we have really tried hard, you know... loads of sex at the right times, legs up the wall, orgasms and everything and still nothing .shit.

why can i never get this to work ?

why can i never get this to work ?

AND I'm even jealous of people who have one child, but can't conceive another. Just one would do for me.

But then I believe there are people who are jealous of those who have had miscarriages, as it proves they can conceive. So it's all on a sliding scale of shittery.

Annie - I still have a pretty good relationship with sis, but sometimes I get so jealous I can't really bear to phone her up. She does, bless her, try to make light of it - 'oh it's not all good, I'm not getting much sleep, and your life's so full' ? or some such. And she must get bored to tears with me being so tediously infertile.

So this is where you hide out Herbaceous and Duchesse

Hello everyone

I'm usually on the ttc 40+ thread, but since the title of this thread is EXACTLY how I feel......... I thought I'd pop in and have a read.

We've been trying for 5 years. I, like Duchesse, foolishly thought that once dh stopped using a condom - that would be it. FOOLISH.

I've been feeling gloomy all week. I'm on my second round of Clomid, but I already know it wont work. We're on every supplement going inc. Zinc and selenium.......

We have one ds aged 6. I'm grateful, but.....

I'm giving it until Dec and then that's it for us.

My friend was jealous of me when i had got pregnant last time, understandably so too as they were ttc, She's recently admitted of the fact that i had had miscarriages as i guess she thought that at least i know i coukd get pregnant. Its very strange how your mind works isnt it. She's 8 weeks pregnant now so its my turn to be jealous of her.gah.

My Daughter was premature, i am not only jealous of pregnant people it turns up a notch when they get past 30 weeks then i start stewing about how they are more pregnant that i have ever been and how i was cheated out of that too.

Sorry you are jealous of me having dd but i do get it, its not fair on any of us.

emotions are shit.

she was jealous of the fact that i had miscarrages* even. No idea where that line went.

well had the results of dfs sperm tests earlier on and his scores are at the lower end of normal so i guess neither of us are perfect.

We have finally been refered though.

I dont know what it is, the Dr wouldnt tell me as he wasnt there, unethical apparently. She said some of it was fine, one part of it wasnt but i dont know which part which is helpfull lol.

We have had a pot of zinc on the windowsill in our kitchen for about 2 years, i think 1 pill has gone

anyway, he has to do another tests.. march was a rather boozy month so it could be that, who knows. we will have to wait and see.

Hello and welcome, Xserial. As you can see, this is where the glum bad girls hang out the back of the conception bike sheds (metaphor overload alert!) , being caustic. Hey, works for us.

Hello all - I've not posted on this thread before but we've been ttc for 18months now and I've just had a lap&dye (last week). The consultant said my tubes are clear, no endo but my ovarie look a bit cystic. I should be feeling positive but I'm struggling so much at the moment. The thing is my best friend who is also my business partner in a demanding business has found out she is pregnant and it was 'unexpected'. I can't cope with the feelings of jealousy - and I can't avoid her as we've got to continue to run the business and then good ole me will have to hold the fort. We've been friends since we were very young and it's so hard. I don't want to feel like this. I'm so fed up about thinking constantly about conception and babies and now I keep thinking about her and what's going on in her body that I can't achieve. I feel so unhappy.

Hi anniemac,

I have taken 2 cycles of clomid and have taken the month off for Lap&Dye. (although it didn't stop me taking an Ov Predictor kit and getting a positive the day after and insisting on BD) - I have never managed to get a positive before although bloods on Month 1 of Clomid suggested I ovulated. I've got one cycle left but am hoping that the consultant will give me some more.

It's comforting to know that I'm not totally evil to feel jelous. I need to get over this for my sanity. I can see objectively that it's pointless to obsess on it - her being pregnant has no affect on me. However it's something else to get wound up about and I can't get away from her. How can I get pregnant when I feel so tense and wound up?

Going to try Hypnotherapy this week to try and get out of this 'habit' of endlessly thinking in such a negative cycle but this jealousy has made it all worse. I just want to switch off my brain and get on with life (and enjoy it) like I used to... I hate being a woman. What's going to happen to my business? It won't be so important to her and what If I can't ever conceive? Will I just have to settle for keeping the business ticking over whilst she is busy being a mum until she feels like going for it again? I thought about these things before we started trying but I just thought if I get pregnant 'things will sort themselves out' - because having a baby was the priority. That's probably how she feels now and probably afterwards as well. I know that some women try for years... I can't carry on in this state-I've got to find some way of managing this.
I think half my problem is that I'm a thinker/worrier who thinks around the problem alot until I find a solution - but this is hurting my chances with this problem so I stress about it and then stress about getting stressed about it.
I've got to spend two seperate days with my friend this week.

Annie, i have been reading your other post its fab isnt it, i bet its just what you needed to hear :D

are you feel any better now ?

Hi Anniemac,

Just got home and have read your other thread - it's cheered me having read such positive outcomes! Thanks.

Hi Hutters, just passing by with a goodie bag of cocktails & cake. I've not been in for a long time, but this gloomy ol place is great when you need to vent.

Just having a self indulgent blub as my SIL has just had another DD. Im really pleased for them but I just SO want to get pg .... I cant say how Im feeling to anyone in RL as it'll just appear to be me being a b**tch (as noone who hasnt FTC will understand). So will have to put on my jolly face and go shopping for a baby pressie.

I would have been due now if our second last IVF had worked....

It just isnt right that its so hard for some of us.

Pass the very expensive glass of wine (but then shouldnt really as detoxing in prep for treatment).

Hi Sticki,

Hope you are feeling better - crying helps to get the emotion out...

Have you tried acupuncture in conjunction with your IVF? I am not having IVF but I go to an acpuncturist as I have irregular periods (not that irregular but...) and have been trying for 18 months. Alot of her clients have acupuncture as they prepare and go through IVF and it is shown to improve success rates by 60% (I think). My acupuncturist uses the Zita West method. I can't say it makes me relaxed or anything - but I feel as if it must help in some way. She has also pointed out that I often have a cold uterus (and always cold feet which is connected to your unterus). So she does warming acupunture on me. I started by going weekly for a month but now I go monthly. It's also good as after 6 months it's nice to have an extra understanding someone to talk to.

I am still struggling with best friend's preganancy. I think she's about 9 weeks and I keep thinking about all the things happening to her and feeling bitterly jealous and then worrying madly that feeling so negative will harm my chances. Honestly, I do the acupuncture, have moderated my already moderate drinking, I have always eaten much more healthily than her and she has always drunk more than me, I exercise regularly (she does none) and I have moderated that so I'm taking it really slowly - although Paula Radcliffe managed! And I've not had a day's illness in years whereas she does.

I do wonder whether her body was shedding eggs at a rate as she has recently been getting a period every 3 weeks and having fainting episodes. Anyway - it's happened now, I was worried it would, but now it has I just have to deal with it.

Perhaps I'll feel better when she has announced it to all the girls at work - mmm until the bump starts showing. At least she is being fairly tactful about it - but I know her so well, she doesn't have to say anything . Hey ho, what with her, another friend and my acupunturist being pregnant at least I am hanging out with lots of pregnant ladies which is supposed to help get things in motion.

I wish I could switch off my thoughts 24-7 it's getting tiresome.