The Hut of Gl/Doom Part VI - And Yes, We've Tried Fecking Relaxing!

[OracleInaCoracle]

new home. I liked the decor in the old one, nless someone wants to redecorate!

That should have read -

I then had to persuade DH [useless men emoticon] to work from home all day wednesday so he can do his test in the morning prior to the appt in the pm. He did see sense

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CD1 here too ! Are we getting in sync ? Wasn't really expecting much as I had HSG on CD13 so didn't really get much action in. Anniemac - I tested early too this cycle as I wanted to believe I would be the cliche that gets pg just in time for fertility clinic appointment.

Start clomid tomorrow following my consultant appointment last week. I had choice of 3 months clomid or laproscopy. Was a coward and opted to try clomid. If this doesn't work then I will have a laproscopy. Consultant didn't think it would help as I appear to ovulate but she thought it was worth a try as I'm not entirely regular although not entirely irregular either. According to consultant - it is all a mystery why I am not pg. Sigh.

I thought I would feel all positive and buoyant once prescribed clomid but feeling a bit shit about it tbh as its now kind of admitting that there's a problem (as if 2 years of ttc wasn't enough to point that out).

DH away on conference in Germany CD14-16 too. Ha ha ha - it just gets better......

hi all, had cons yeserday and ive got to have a hyteroscopy (great) more bloods taken (great) an relax (fuck off)

started smoking again (because lets face it, doing everything by the book hasnt worked) and im sick of ftc ruling my life. Shreks, every month i swear its the last!

annie, sorry about period. can you see a herbalist about angus castus?

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Oh my god i so know where you guys are coming from!! I felt like i was putting my life on hold for a few years, and got so sick of it i just thought Bo**ks to it im just going to carry on as normal as best i can. I didnt go for some promotions at work because i thought the stress would be bad, I didnt want to plan any holidays because i 'might' be PG, as i say i put my life on hold and felt like i was just waiting, it was horrible.
Then something clicked, probably the feeling that i was going slightly insane, and i just thought, im not spending my my mid thirties waiting for something that may or may not happen. Dont get me wrong we have talked about a trip to Australia next year, which i would love to do but i do worry about the obviouse but im just not willing to stop living my life because of it!!!
However.......even with all the positive 'wanting to live my life' thoughts, it doesnt stop me from dwelling in the depths of dispair. Im just in the middle of the 4th course of clomid at 100mg, so im over half way through and nothing. So as you say Annie Im gearing my self up for the next step.........but i sooooooo dont want to get there!!!!

i think ive kind of lost sight of why we want another baby now. it has become my nemesis and i have to "win" this thing. but i am so disillusioned. it has been wrecking my marriage and my mind. i fuckhate it!

oh god - feeling crap here too ! Clomid v. much beginning to mess with my head and make me a weepy mess.

Viksam - are you on clomid because you weren't ovulating or just as a 'we can't think of anything else' option ? Do you get side effects ? DO they get worse as you take more tablets (feel pretty rough on second day so dreading it will get worse by the fifth tablet !) ??

Hi
lissielou Im sorry you feel so bad, its shit. I know its really cliched but maybe you will feel better about things in a few days. Do you have a specific reason for FTC? Whats a hyteroscopy? Did they actually tell you to relax?????

Wheely Im on clomid because i have high FSH so i may not ovulate every month,no one ovulates every month but you know what i mean. But I do also think its the 'cant think of anything else' thing too. To be honest the only real side effects that i could honestly put down to clomid is a massive belly, looking like im 5 months gone.......Oh the irony!! But it doesnt really make me feel shitty and the belly thing isnt till a week or so before AF.

Do any of you guys use ovulation sticks? I have never used them just due to the cost really, are they worth it?

I have just started acupuncture,herbal tablets and the gym all in the space of two weeks so am really making a concerted effort to live life squeaky clean(she says after just ordering curry(I did order chicken tikka for me!))And reaching out for a nice (small) glass of red wine!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks Vik - Its really odd, I'm finding effects coming in peaks and troughs. Felt rough this pm but have felt better since so maybe its just the peak of the drugs. Also, I didn't get much sleep last night due to dd not sleeping well so it may even just be that. Off to bed now to get some sleep !

Pants pants pants pants pants pants pants pants. I just had another BFN after my 18th embryo transfer (15 ivf attempts). Today a really good friend, how had one cycle of IVF gave birth to a little girl. I am really happy for her, but i want to cry, (can't cry have DS) and feel very . There better now got it of my chest

Oh soosy. Poor you. That is a blow.

Im really really sorry to hear your BFN soosy. I have been lurking and hoped for good things for you this time.
Take care of yourself. [Hands Soosy a big glass of red wine.....]

Aw Soosy - thats shit. I'm sorry.

I just had an interesting u/s as am on first cycle of clomid so they are monitoring me. The nurse looked at my first ovary and asked if I had polycistic ovaries (er.. don't know, turns out I had an inconclusive scan last year and no one told me it was inconclusive and didn't do any more about it), then looked at the second ovary and asked if I had a history of endometriosis as I have a cyst - and when I was referred to the ACU they said not to have a u/s as I had one last year. Now, if they'd done one now they would have seen this and then the consultant could have advised me on treatment a bit more accurately. If it now turns out I have endometriosis I will have lost a lot of time going down the clomid route rather than having a laproscopy. AAARRRGGHHHHHH.............

Another scan on tuesday - will see what new diagnosis that throws up. Oh god I can't bear it (throws toys out of pram).

Christ, Wheely, that's annoying. And Soosy - that's gutting.

I'm feeling all sorry for myself, as a friend just announced 'his' new pregnancy with a pic of the scan. Just what to send to someone with four MCs, two of which were discovered at scans.

This FTC business is turning me into a right cow.