TTC May 2023 💖 Previous MC March 2023 (thread 2)

[Sez281]

Hi ladies, just thought I'd create a new thread for anybody that wants to continue.
@Jadeypie
@Westy22
@Freddie15VES
@fleur89
@Strawb28
@DmcinT
@HopeAndStrength
@xxcxdonxx
And @SnookyPook for if/when you feel like you might want to come back xx

Sorry if I've forgotten anybody, I realise most of you guys have had your BFPs and there's only a few off us left waiting, but at least you know the thread is here so come back and keep us updated with all your lovely pregnancy stories 😊 For those of us still here, hopefully it won't be too much longer 🙏💖 xx

@Jadeypie oh that's a really good sign! Hopefully you are ovulating 🤞any sign of your appointment yet?

@xxcxdonxx As much as we all hate AF hopefully this is it and you will know where you are going forward. I'd imagine your line will disappear soon also if it is it 🙏 xx

@Westy22 how you getting on? Any more tests? Xx

@Sez281 nope said if I havnt heard by the 14th Dec to ring. So it's abit of a wait but least I should get one. Xx

Hi ladies... Unfortunately not looking good here. HCG has barely risen since Tuesday. Have had a good cry and accepted my fate. For whatever reason, this just isn't my year. Very thoughtful of little bean to keep all the crappiness to the same weekend. I'm just hoping that the physical side of things doesn't drag on too long or cause any issues.

Positives I am choosing to focus on:

• it will be out of the way before Christmas
• we can focus on a fresh start in the new year
• will get my fertility referral now and hopefully some answers etc

It's not looked good from the beginning so at least it's not caught me completely off-guard like the MMC did. Still crappy though. It struck me that my friend who had the same due date as me now has her little girl, and all I've got to show in the same time-frame is 3 losses... 😌 what a year...

@Sez281 are ovarys meant to move? Lol ..i dint know that... thats a hell of a report! Have you been pregnant since that scan?. Youve probably said already but so much easyer asking then scrolling thr lol i dont even know what my growths are lol they look like cones, either side of the implantation site, so am just picturing barriers in place making sure no egg implants lol really hope you get something done. Have you tried for the mri etc since that report?

@SnookyPook I'm so so sorry. I'm gutted for you 💔 I know when you haven't got your hopes up it makes the news a bit easier to take but it's still so shitty 😞 I love your positive outlook and I truly believe it will happen for you in the New Year. I hope things move quickly for you over the next few days and weeks and I know it's your initial due date next week so be kind to yourself, sending you big hugs xx

@SnookyPook I’m so sorry. I know there was some doubt over its viability from the start but it doesn’t make it any easier I don’t think. All the back and forth for bloods etc makes it a really tough experience and that takes it toll on you. I’m so sorry that you are having to go through this experience again.

Your positive outlook is admirable and next year is most definitely your year.
Thinking of you and sending huge hugs xx

@SnookyPook I'm so so sorry to hear this there is not enough words for comfort sending you so many hugs and love xxxx

I'm sorry @SnookyPook 💔 I don't really know what else to say, I can't imagine how you must feel but as the others have said your positivity is very admirable and your very strong ❤️ your 🌈 will come x we are here for the rants ❤️

Well nothings happened since for me, whatever was happening definitely stopped 😑 I looked back and I definitely had two faint lines but they are now very much negative and the cramps stopped Thursday night. My boobs are more painful then usual but figured that's probably just my hormones being a bit all over the place.

Due on this coming week and then we start a fresh. I've moved GPs so I'm hoping to get an appointment and get a second opinion on my overall fertility and go from there. I don't think my bf is ready for the next cycle....pressure is on 😂

@Westy22 your not out till she shows could just be super early. I got a faint positive in my last pregnancy then a negative and thought I was out two weeks later blazing positive xx

Think af is hitting me early again this month wiped this morning to shiny cm again but with pink in so am assuming its af trying to start. From my last cycle I'm on time but for my usual cycle that I've had all my life I'm a week early. I hate this ttc with dodgy hormones gahah

@Westy22 as @Jadeypie you never know, I've definitely heard stories about lines disappearing and then coming back 🤞 If not it's a really good idea to get a full MOT with your new GP xx

@Jadeypie how long will that make your last 2 cycles then? Hopefully it's just regulating itself. Glad to hear you haven't had any strange bleeding in between though. Hopefully you get your appointment soon 🙏 x

@Supertrooper101 I didn't know that they loved either, I kind of remember her saying something like it was sticking to my bowl 🧐 I had the MRI not long after my d&c so it didn't show much. I'm hoping after my appointment in 2 days I'll get booked in for something a bit more investigative as there's definitely something not right 😣

@SnookyPook I just saw your update, I'm so so sorry. You've done well to keep your expectations low but it doesn't make it any easier. It's unfair and cruel. I hope you're bearing up and getting the support you need x

@SnookyPook I really am so sorry to read this❤️ Sending so much love and hoping u have exactly what u need around u at the moment. This is so cruel and you’ve had a really tough year, im so sorry xxx

Thanks everyone. Have had quite an anxious few days as they called me after my last bloods and said it's likely ectopic. They then had me in for bloods again yesterday and thankfully (!!) the HCG has started coming down so bit less of an emergency than it could have been (had a sleepless night worrying about ruptures on Friday 😩). Anyway, I'm back in tomorrow for a scan, more bloods and a senior review. If the HCG is coming down still and coming down fast enough, they will likely just monitor. If it's still not quite looking how they want, I may still be given methotrexate to speed things along. What better way to spend my original due date?! You couldn't make it up could you. 😌

I'm doing ok. I think right now, the adrenaline of dealing with the ectopic diagnosis and just wanting to get through the practicalities has sort of paused dealing with the emotions. But I'm feeling pretty gutted and frustrated and just... Bleurgh. As I'm sure you can all imagine.

When I thought I was definitely looking at methotrexate (forced pause on TTC for at least 3 months) I decided to make peace with that and try to enjoy having a break from everything. I think regardless now, even if I don't have the drug, I will take a couple of months to focus on enjoying my family, enjoying Christmas, and trying to get in a better headspace. I've asked about some MH support and I'll have an appointment with the fertility consultant coming up too. Ticking clock is ever there - will be my 38th birthday two months today - but I think I need a pause for my own sanity at this point.

Thanks everyone for your support. And lots of love to everyone else going through tough times. Sorry not got the mental capacity to focus on individual replies etc but I am still following what's going on with everyone else too. ❤️

@SnookyPook you poor thing, the last few days must have been so tough 😢 Hopefully the scan and bloods tomorrow show that it's going down naturally. I'm so glad that you're being referred to talk to somebody to also.The last few months have been horrendous. I think a pause on everything just to regroup is the right way to go. (To be honest I'm considering it myself) Christmas is coming up and you've so much to look forward too, 38 is still plenty of time too! Be kind to yourself, I know you won't be on here much but will be thinking of you and always here if you need to talk xx

@Sez281 28 days. But it's stopped none since the bit I had in the morning yesterday i am assuming it's all strange spotting again!

I should be due on Friday according to one ap and I'm two days last according to the other my premum ap os going off a 28 cycle and mu flo is my usual 36.

How are you feeling? Xx

@SnookyPook yes I agree withtaking some time away to concentrate on yourself and it's brilliant your getting mh help too. Xx

Just back from hospital. Was extremely poignant being there on my due date and having to pass by the birthing unit etc. But some good news, no obvious sign of ectopic and they are happy to avoid methotrexate as HCG has come down again. I can expect to bleed soon and they want me to do a home pregnancy test in 3weeks. All being well, that will be the end of this chapter.

That’s good news @SnookyPook - as much as it can be of
course.
I was in epu confirming I’d passed my pregnancy on my original due date too, it’s a cruel coincidence.
Lots of love 💜

@SnookyPook I'm glad to hear that you don't have to take the methotrexate and I'm so sorry that you had to be in there today of all days 😢 I hope things happen quickly now and as you say you can close this chapter then x

@xxcxdonxx @Jadeypie @Westy22 hope you guys are all doing ok xx

I'm CD9 today and my opks are starting to get a bit darker. I actually got CB advanced this week to see if it matches up to the easy@homes and I got a flashing smiley today so looks like I'll ovulate this week 🙏 I don't mind early ovulation but i'm just praying it's not a 16 day cycle like last time 😣. I have the appointment with specialist tomorrow morning so I'm going to ask her to schedule day 21 bloods to see if I am actually ovulating and I'm so going to see if they'll book me in for a hycosy or hysterocopy to see what's going on with the constant cramps.

@Sez281 sounds like your prepared to catch o ulation!! I feel like these cycles r just flying by do you? Like we've been at this since when June? And it's good you've got your appointment you will have to let us know what they say im still waiting for mine . But hopefully they will listen and do what u ask. What a hycosy?

I still have ewcn with bits of pink in now and again not every wipe and don't need a pad I actually had a abit on a pad yesterday morning thought af was here but nothing since and just the odd occasional wipe so am in no man's land once again ffs xx

@Jadeypie the months are absolutely flying, don't know where the time has gone! 🙈 A Hycosy is where they look at your tubes and uterus with a dye/contrast. I think my tubes are ok as I've conceived twice this year but my constant cramping has me very worried that my endo/fibroids have gotten worse. I might need a laparoscopy, I'll see what the doc says tomorrow.

That's really strange about the pink CM. Have you done any tests? I know your apps have you due on different days but might be a sign of something? 🤞 xx

I second that @Jadeypie i feel like the cycles are flying by 😱 even if the ttw drags like a mother f#cker.

Flo has me due on Thursday and Premom says Wednesday, I swear they've moved tho as it was originally Mon/Tues. Getting some cramping again and some clear ewcm, this cycle appears to have been hormone overloaded. I did a opk test yesterday just to see what was happening and it come out 0.43 which is a slight rise but I've noticed I seem to get that around 2 days before AF so think she's getting ready lol x

@Sez281 ohhh OK I'm going to be telling mine that I went all kinds checked haha and yeh I done a test today negative but I think I'm only 10dpo so still early days.

@Westy22 do you normally have ewcm this close to af I don't normally have it and I feel like this spotting mixed in with it is making me think all kinds haha have u done a test?

I actually don't have any symptoms tho boobs rnt even sore like pre af ones or anything well I've had a few twinges but that could be gas or anything xx

@Sez281 sounds like you have a busy week ahead of you! I’m in awe of you knowing all these things to ask for, I sometimes feel if you don’t ask specific Qs it’s easy to be fobbed off. Hope your appointment goes well.

@Westy22 @Jadeypie ill keep my fingers crossed for you both that this is a sign of something.

I don’t know where this year has gone but I know my head has been completely filled with TTC and dates. We will have been TTC for almost a year now which is crazy to think. I’m really going to try and not let it be so all consuming, I feel I’m just letting life pass by as my head is too busy thinking about when I might next be ovulating 😵‍💫. My period should be finished in the next day or so I think and then I’ll be back to my poas obsession!

@xxcxdonxx yeh I totally get that everything just becomes about ttc and you sort of lose yourself within it. That's why I've tried to focus on this health kick and got rid of the opks but you still crnt help but think about it and always find something else to google it's a pain in the arse haha! This will be our 5th month so it's not been long at all really but it's long enough when you just want that bfp ha. Like I think the only way to stop would be to delete all aps come off Mn and just not have a clue but I genuinely couldn't stand not knowing when af was due haha x