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Conception

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Original poster

I've been silly but I really need advice!

165 replies

Bismillah2023 · 04/06/2023 13:46

So please don't judge me for this as I am already punishing myself and my stupid choices as it is.
I have just come back from a holiday, where I ended up sleeping with one of the locals out there.
For reference I have not had sex in 3.5 years through personal choice after an awful break up with an emotional abuser, I have chosen to protect myself and my best interests by staying away from men! However a few drinks in the Sun and some charm from him ended up with us in bed together.
Fast forward to now, last night I went to the loo and noticed some pale pink discharge on the tissue when I wiped, as this was so unusual for me it led me to check my Flo app and I have absolutely shit myself when I realised I was ovulating (or so the app says) on the exact day I slept with him. We had sex numerous times with no protection (I know, I know!) as I haven't been with anyone in such a long time it sort of slipped my mind.
For further reference I have an 18 year old already and since I gave birth to him I have never had a pregnancy scare or anything similar as I have always been on the implant (which I removed early last year)
My app tells me that I am 7DPO and that I should do a pregnancy test in 9 days if I don't come on my period.
Alongside the pink discharge, the cramps in my tummy and tender breasts today I am now actually panicking that I may have brought home something more than memories from my holiday!
If I am pregnant then I already know that I would keep my child and I would have to tell him about it but am I just overthinking?

I am new to all of this and would really appreciate some advice from you all about whether it's just a coincidence or if these signs/symptoms are actually that of conception/implantation.
Please don't judge me for this I understand I have been a bit daft sleeping with someone I had only just met and I especially can't speak to any of my family or friends about this right now.
Is there anything I should be looking out for or should I relax and go with the flow? As you can tell I wasn't actively trying to conceive however if it turns out that way i will see it as a late life blessing. If it matters I am 38...

If you got this far thank you for reading ❤️

OP posts:
turtool · 10/06/2023 02:25

Bismillah2023 · 04/06/2023 17:36

@ADHDDDDDDDBOOM did I say that?

I don't know how it works what the window is for it or nothing like that I've never had to take one or be in a position to!
And like I've said over and over on this thread the thought would never have occurred to me considering I have never tried to get pregnant. I was living in the moment and enjoying my holiday. Reality hit when I got home hence why I've now asked for advice.

You have an 18 year old son surely that's something you understand. Being an adult and the having a teenager you at least try to show them how to avoid an unplanned pregnancy.

MissTrip82 · 10/06/2023 03:16

Having sex without contraception whilst ovulating knowing you’d not terminate, wouldn’t use MAP and would be happy to be pregnant is as close to a planned pregnancy as it gets.

Nanaof1 · 10/06/2023 03:36

Bismillah2023 · 04/06/2023 15:48

Absolutely agree I would not cause him unnecessary stress by saying a word until I knew for certain.
There is always the worry that he would not be happy and I would genuinely have to try and understand what he wanted too, I have always been of the belief that termination is an individual choice dependent on circumstance. I feel that if he was very very strongly against it and really did not want me to have a child; then I would be punishing the child by going ahead with pregnancy but again, I would not know how to deal with that until it came to it.
But that is something that I need to sit and ponder over once I know what's happening with my body. It's not a decision I could make alone but it's one that would be painful and heartbreaking if it ever came to that.
I think right now it's a bit of a glimmer in my eye. A potential situation that I'm in and the more people that comment the more I am seeing many more different angles to this!

I never dreamed of having a child this late in life or even entertained the thought, I have lots of nieces, nephews and godchildren as it is and they have always been wonderful to have around! But as someone above said, have unprotected sex and you know the risks, and it may sound stupid but not once did I think about that during my time away it didn't even enter my head once and I think that's because I've always been safe and protected by contraception the last 18 years it was an error of judgement on my part.

Show quote history

I don't think you would be punishing your child if the man who is the other half of the equation doesn't want a child. Many children have been born and raised by single mothers and gone on toe be happy, loved and fulfilled children/adults. Some single women have gone to sperm banks to have a child and there is no husband. Ditto with single parents adopting.
It sounds like, if you are pregnant, you will have a child raised in love and comfort, with family and friends who will love and support you and the child. That's not a bad legacy for a child. 💖

oatmilk4breakfast · 10/06/2023 04:41

Hope it all works out! :)

Pitstop1986 · 11/06/2023 20:46

When do you plan on testing? I'm shamelessly invested in this and so excited to hear the result!

Iloveringos · 11/06/2023 21:28

Pitstop1986 · 11/06/2023 20:46

When do you plan on testing? I'm shamelessly invested in this and so excited to hear the result!

Me too :)

pickleswater · 11/06/2023 21:47

Place marking as I would love to know how this story ends

Enn1234 · 12/06/2023 13:28

Hi @Bismillah2023
How you doing? Have you tested?

husbandcallsmepickle · 13/06/2023 20:46

It's been 9 days... have you tested yet?

JumboShrimp · 15/06/2023 19:34

What happened? Are you pregnant? Sending love!

GeriatricMumma · 17/06/2023 10:09

Shamelessly waiting

femfemlicious · 17/06/2023 10:15

Bismillah2023 · 04/06/2023 13:53

I only got home last night and I think as soon as reality hit and I was back on home turf I've realised how stupid I have been!
And if I'm being really really honest I didn't even think afterwards of anything like oh my god can't believe I've done that: I think I was just there in the moment and enjoying it when really I should have actually thought about what I'd just done.
The only reason i even THOUGHT about pregnancy was because of the pink discharge as I've never seen that before hence me checking the app, I still didn't think pregnancy until I recorded unprotected sex on my app.
Don't even ask me what's been going on in my head I've been an oblivious idiot and I totally get that people may think that too!

WOW?!. You "forgot" about protection and morning after pill While having sex with a random man. You had unprotected sex several times?. You obviously wanted a baby.

Iloveringos · 17/06/2023 11:09

Bismillah2023 · 04/06/2023 15:25

To be honest that's true he never mentioned contraception either so I think we were both a little drunk a bit horny and I just thought fuck it, I'm here let's make a memory I won't forget!
I genuinely would be happy even if it was a shock at first I know in my heart that anything I create inside of me deserves to have life and I would do my best to just embrace it.
Of course I'm scared and nervous which I think is natural but I am not scared of being pregnant I'm just scared of the initial shock of finding out and having to tell people!
We have kept in touch but friendly; we both knew what it was we live in different countries for a start 6 hour flights apart so it would be difficult.
I don't know how he would feel about it but I would of course be very honest and tell him should it turn out to be that I am pregnant!
I have no intentions of moving abroad and leaving my son like another poster butted in with; and I have no idea how I would tell him also it would be a sit down chat and to be honest I would be very embarrassed!

If it turns out I'm not pregnant that's absolutely ok too like I say I am leaning towards no hope but no fear either so whatever happens happens.

I do have a fantastic support around me, I have a wonderful family, loving friends and a good stable job with my own home so things like that are already a massive help to know I wouldn't ever be alone. I also wouldn't know what would happen with the guy and how he would feel or whether he would even want anything to do with me after all it was a holiday romance; however I firmly believe in doing the right thing and making sure he's completely aware every step of the way!

Thank you to those who have been thoughtful and kind in your responses; I was shaking like a leaf writing this in case anyone can identify me hence why I used a new account but you've all been sweet and kind and have helped me to realise this can and does happen and if it does then it isn't the end of the world!

I will keep you posted as I am planning to wait for my period and if I doesn't come I will test then and update this thread as soon as I know anything more ❤️

Hey hope you are ok, we're all dying to know if you are pregnant, sending you best wishes Smile

Original poster
Bismillah2023 · 22/06/2023 10:22

Hi ladies, I wasn't going to repost as some of the comments on here just ridiculed me and made me feel like absolute shit to be honest. Which isn't nice when you've asked for advice and are already worrying. Some of you were lovely though so thank you for being kind when I needed it.
I have taken 3 tests over the last 2 weeks and they've all been negative. However took two tests this morning after a bout of "morning" sickness yesterday and both have a faint line on them. My friends believe they're positive I'm not overly sure, as like I said many years since I've done this!
But it does look pretty convincing I won't lie. Sorry for taking a while to come back and update but I've been in my own head a lot wondering and worrying. X

OP posts:
Original poster
Bismillah2023 · 22/06/2023 10:23

I had kind of ruled pregnancy out with the negative results to be honest, but if I am I would technically be around 5 weeks. I would have thought a positive result would have shown a lot sooner than now hence why I'm doubtful and think the tests are dodgy...

OP posts:
njh21 · 22/06/2023 10:32

Oh OP. Sending lots of love and sorry for all the rude comments from the 'perfect' people who've always do everything right.

Regardless, hope you had a lovely holiday and enjoyed letting your hair down and having fun! We only live once hey!

Whatever the outcome, you know you have options and it's purely down to what feels best for YOU and YOUR life style.. not people online 🥰

Do you have a photo of your tests? Hope you're okay!

Matildahoney · 22/06/2023 11:26

Hi @Bismillah2023 I don't want to worry you, I had negative tests pre my period being due, 3 days after it was due I had super strong positives & am just into my second trimester! Good luck whatever happens & whatever you decide to do. Ignore the haters, it's your life not theirs.

Original poster
Bismillah2023 · 22/06/2023 13:15

Thanks ladies, I do have pics hang on will try post them. My mums convinced but I'm on the fence and think the only way I will know is to do a more reliable test in the coming days.
For context I'm almost 2 weeks late so this is why I thought it would have been a very dark and prominent line by now!

OP posts:
RicketyRackety · 22/06/2023 13:22

This reply has been withdrawn

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

lostfrequencies · 22/06/2023 13:36

If you're 2 weeks late then a digital test should be able to give you a definitive answer.

BabyMamma7 · 22/06/2023 13:53

I've been following this post waiting for an outcome!

Absolutely no hate here, just so invested!! I hope you get the answer you want!

Matildahoney · 22/06/2023 14:04

I used cheapie tests and it showed up dark and instantly at 3 days late, then I double checked with a digital one

Original poster
Bismillah2023 · 22/06/2023 14:47

Here they are first one was my first wee of the day the next one was just after. They're so faint can barely see them without squinting my eyes.
I think they should be a lot darker than that hence me thinking they are false positives!

I've been silly but I really need advice!
I've been silly but I really need advice!
OP posts:
Original poster
Bismillah2023 · 22/06/2023 14:48

@BabyMamma7 I intend to do this also! Any recommendations for the best digital one? Xx

OP posts:
DoorHandle2 · 22/06/2023 14:53

Hello, I would confirm with a First Response Early Response test as they are so clear. The digital tests are easy to read but they require a high level of hcg (pregnancy hormone) to confirm so may not show a positive yet even if you are.

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