I've been silly but I really need advice!

[Bismillah2023]

So please don't judge me for this as I am already punishing myself and my stupid choices as it is.
I have just come back from a holiday, where I ended up sleeping with one of the locals out there.
For reference I have not had sex in 3.5 years through personal choice after an awful break up with an emotional abuser, I have chosen to protect myself and my best interests by staying away from men! However a few drinks in the Sun and some charm from him ended up with us in bed together.
Fast forward to now, last night I went to the loo and noticed some pale pink discharge on the tissue when I wiped, as this was so unusual for me it led me to check my Flo app and I have absolutely shit myself when I realised I was ovulating (or so the app says) on the exact day I slept with him. We had sex numerous times with no protection (I know, I know!) as I haven't been with anyone in such a long time it sort of slipped my mind.
For further reference I have an 18 year old already and since I gave birth to him I have never had a pregnancy scare or anything similar as I have always been on the implant (which I removed early last year)
My app tells me that I am 7DPO and that I should do a pregnancy test in 9 days if I don't come on my period.
Alongside the pink discharge, the cramps in my tummy and tender breasts today I am now actually panicking that I may have brought home something more than memories from my holiday!
If I am pregnant then I already know that I would keep my child and I would have to tell him about it but am I just overthinking?

I am new to all of this and would really appreciate some advice from you all about whether it's just a coincidence or if these signs/symptoms are actually that of conception/implantation.
Please don't judge me for this I understand I have been a bit daft sleeping with someone I had only just met and I especially can't speak to any of my family or friends about this right now.
Is there anything I should be looking out for or should I relax and go with the flow? As you can tell I wasn't actively trying to conceive however if it turns out that way i will see it as a late life blessing. If it matters I am 38...

If you got this far thank you for reading ❤️

To be honest that's true he never mentioned contraception either so I think we were both a little drunk a bit horny and I just thought fuck it, I'm here let's make a memory I won't forget!
I genuinely would be happy even if it was a shock at first I know in my heart that anything I create inside of me deserves to have life and I would do my best to just embrace it.
Of course I'm scared and nervous which I think is natural but I am not scared of being pregnant I'm just scared of the initial shock of finding out and having to tell people!
We have kept in touch but friendly; we both knew what it was we live in different countries for a start 6 hour flights apart so it would be difficult.
I don't know how he would feel about it but I would of course be very honest and tell him should it turn out to be that I am pregnant!
I have no intentions of moving abroad and leaving my son like another poster butted in with; and I have no idea how I would tell him also it would be a sit down chat and to be honest I would be very embarrassed!

If it turns out I'm not pregnant that's absolutely ok too like I say I am leaning towards no hope but no fear either so whatever happens happens.

I do have a fantastic support around me, I have a wonderful family, loving friends and a good stable job with my own home so things like that are already a massive help to know I wouldn't ever be alone. I also wouldn't know what would happen with the guy and how he would feel or whether he would even want anything to do with me after all it was a holiday romance; however I firmly believe in doing the right thing and making sure he's completely aware every step of the way!

Thank you to those who have been thoughtful and kind in your responses; I was shaking like a leaf writing this in case anyone can identify me hence why I used a new account but you've all been sweet and kind and have helped me to realise this can and does happen and if it does then it isn't the end of the world!

I will keep you posted as I am planning to wait for my period and if I doesn't come I will test then and update this thread as soon as I know anything more ❤️

You’ll be happy to be pregnant so just wait and see in terms of that. Get the STD checks done, although you don’t have unprotected sex usually, this man may. Also, start some pregnancy vitamins/folic acid just in case.

The poster above wasn’t on about you moving abroad, she was on about you sending a potential new child abroad at some point in the future for access to its Father.

If you decide to have the baby, think very carefully about what to say to the father.

Is it a country covered by The Hague convention?

I had to Google this to check but yes it is!

Ohhh I see! Sorry I thought they were just being rude my bad!
I have absolutely no idea how/if/when it would come to that because right now I don't even know if I am however, I like to think that I do the right thing in all situations and this would be a case of two people working hard together to ensure that a child is loved and knows who their father is.
Weirdly enough I asked if he had children in passing and he said no it had never happened for him but that he does want children.... maybe not to someone he doesn't know but then neither did I. Who does?! I think it would be difficult and there would be a lot of emotion involved but I would be prepared to do what's right by him me and potential child if that makes sense!

It would be worth a call to the clinic to ask about timings for testing to make sure any infections will show up. They used to say HIV might not show up for 3 months on a blood test, but I think the tests these days are designed to pick it up sooner. But tell them the timings and ask their advice about the best time to go in.

Thank you ❤️
I am absolutely going to get tested this week for everything possible! You are right I don't know him at all and although I've been very lucky to have never had an STD in my life there is a first time for everything! Just like sleeping with someone abroad that's a new one for me too!

I agree, step 1 is STD check at the clinic just in case. You probably need to go back again as some don't show up for a couple months after infection.

Take some vitamins just in case and test in a few days. I'm assuming from your posts you still can contact the potential father but I wouldn't tell him anything until you have something to tell.

If you are, have a think about what you want, clearly you want the baby but you don't know how he'll react. He could pressure you to abort and cause you a lot of stress you don't need. If he wants to be involved what would that look like if you live in different countries? Look up laws about parental responsibility etc in both places.

Yeah I wouldn't be telling the guy.

Make sure you get an STD check up in a few weeks also as things like HIV can take a while to show up.

Absolutely agree I would not cause him unnecessary stress by saying a word until I knew for certain.
There is always the worry that he would not be happy and I would genuinely have to try and understand what he wanted too, I have always been of the belief that termination is an individual choice dependent on circumstance. I feel that if he was very very strongly against it and really did not want me to have a child; then I would be punishing the child by going ahead with pregnancy but again, I would not know how to deal with that until it came to it.
But that is something that I need to sit and ponder over once I know what's happening with my body. It's not a decision I could make alone but it's one that would be painful and heartbreaking if it ever came to that.
I think right now it's a bit of a glimmer in my eye. A potential situation that I'm in and the more people that comment the more I am seeing many more different angles to this!

I never dreamed of having a child this late in life or even entertained the thought, I have lots of nieces, nephews and godchildren as it is and they have always been wonderful to have around! But as someone above said, have unprotected sex and you know the risks, and it may sound stupid but not once did I think about that during my time away it didn't even enter my head once and I think that's because I've always been safe and protected by contraception the last 18 years it was an error of judgement on my part.

Slightly silly but not end of the world!

hope you get the result you want x

You are all being so lovely and kind to me and I don't feel judged at all so thank you. I feel a lot more settled than I did this morning. I'm so glad I came here now for advice as it's helped so much to start to understand the situation I could be in 🥺😘

Also, can I just add. I have NEVER had a one night stand. I have never slept with someone I don't know and I have never had unprotected sex (until now). This is completely and utterly out of the norm for me and my best friend was absolutely floored when I told her. I just wanted to add that in case I sound like someone who goes off sleeping with random men on the regular as I really don't!

I’m really hoping your STD screen comes back clear.

I think you've had great advice and comments from many of the previous posters. You sound like you would be in a position to more than cope with a baby. I'm sure you will be fine whatever that test says in a week or so! (Possibly even weirdly disappointed if it's negative?!)

Also, completely get this feeling a bit daunting and late life for you if you have an 18 year old but, as a 37yr old who currently has a 2yr old and just had a MMC trying for no.2, it's certainly not too old to have a baby and to thoroughly enjoy them and still have the energy and enthusiasm etc! You will be fine whatever happens. ❤️

P.S. is it just me wanting to write this up as a chick-lit? Sorry if that's not very sensitive but it just seems perfect! 😁

Can't give much advice except to say I'm in the same boat however my absolutely gorgeous hunk is a friend who lives round the corner 😏but I was always told I couldn't actually get pregnant and now.... who knows....

Good luck whatever happens! xx

Wow, it sounds so exciting. Keep us updated.

Oh wow really! I would love to hear updates as you go and I'm so pleased to hear someone's in the same situation as mad as that sounds!
Please come back and comment on this thread once you know more as it would be nice to have someone along with me at the same stage! ❤️

Wish you luck 🍀 xxx

Aww thank you! You're absolutely correct in that I've had some brilliant advice and I will take away each comment and follow what others have said to the letter!

You are also not being insensitive at all it's a crazy story and I can imagine that many will probably find it romantic! (Not sure if I do yet though haha) I will keep you posted though and you never know one day you might be able to write about it! 🤣😜

Definitely STD clinic asap!

You sound like you might be happy to be pregnant so have some positivity that pink discharge was one of my early symptoms.

I had it for around week plus sore boobs and weird af dreams.

If I'm being really honest, if you'd have asked me a week ago if I wanted anymore children I would have outrightly and firmly said no while laughing my head off.
But now, I don't know I just feel completely different and I think it's because I feel a bit blessed if it turns out that I am. Like it was meant to be. Never thought I would feel that way but I suppose until it happens you don't know how you would feel! However there is a tiny bit of excitement in me that I want to keep under control so I don't feel disappointed when/if my period arrives.
I have to be level headed and think well if I am then happy bloody days but if I aren't it will teach me a lesson to be more careful in future! ❤️

Also weird you mention that about the dreams I woke up at 4am sweating after a manic dream but I put that down to me forgetting to take my sleeping aid last night!

You didn't know the morning after pill existed?

Come on, now 🙄