40+ TTC this year

[unicornglitter123]

👋
I'm just trying to get an idea and a bit of hope in TTC over 40, and for me...mid 40's!
I'm 44 and will soon be 45 🙃
TTC number 2.
Have been trying for over a year.
IVF not an option.
Delayed our TTC number 2 because of Covid.
Anyone in the same boat?

I fell pregnant in December but miscarried beginning of Feb. Now trying again but periods haven’t returned yet currently 4 days late but all tests are negative. Just turned 43.

My last period was 4 days late and I was desperate to be pregnant because it was my last chance to conceive naturally before the IVF. Two negative results then it came on the 4th day, late afternoon. It's all just such a slog, emotionally.

@KoraliaValentine i had a small spotting bleed about 28 days after mc but now waiting for period and on CD32 and no sign of anything. 3 days ago OPK started to rise but now seems to have gone down again to not even really showing a line at all.

I had a D&C for MMC last year and I was told my next period would come as normal but it took 5 weeks and 2 days. I knew I wasn't pregnant as we had been told not to try until after my next period, but it did take a while and I remember being anxious as to why it hadn't come.

@KoraliaValentine well
we have been trying. Mine was all natural at 8 weeks but baby stopped growing at 5+5 only the day before we saw a heartbeat but was very slow.

It is but I'm trying to remain cautiously optimistic as there's still so little chance of an embryo to transfer. The clinic told me I'd need PGT-A testing and I didn't question it, but now am having doubts and thinking I'd like to transfer any blastocyst I can. Like you said, I'd take the risk of miscarriage for the chance of a miracle!

Can I ask if you went to fertility clinics in the UK, and if so if you ever sought a second opinion abroad?

I'm sorry. I had a scan at 6+1 but was told the baby was measuring 5 weeks and no heartbeat. A week later it had grown a little but still smaller than it should have been. Some cardiac activity but no measurable heartbeat. Told to wait 2 weeks before the next scan and by that point I'd miscarried.

I think I was told to wait because the d&c basically left me with no endometrium.

So much of this is waiting, isn't it. This is bad for me as I'm not naturally a patient person! Waiting for the phone calls from the lab is excruciating.

@KoraliaValentine i wonder if that’s been my issue. Hoping AF comes soon so I know where I stand. I get plenty of twinges and cramps on and off and have had mucus also.

@KoraliaValentine meant to say hope all goes well that will be next option for us but will have to do it privately.

Thank you! We've had to go private, as where we live 40 is the cut off on the public healthcare system. We don't live in the UK, and it's a bit cheaper here, but not much. However we have limited resources, so if this doesn't work we plan to continue to try naturally for a year or two and then go to donor egg. Trying with your own eggs over 40 feels futile unless you have unlimited funds for lots of cycles.

Are you taking Coq10?

@KoraliaValentine I'm happy to try donor eggs of mine are not suitable but want to give it best shot. I know I can conceive just need it to stick and be healthy.

Yes, I wasn't going to try IVF with my own eggs at all, but in the end felt like I'd like to know I gave it one shot. I haven't ruled out getting pregnant naturally again, but the doctor was clear that for IVF with my own eggs it was basically now or never, in terms of being worth it. The actual process so far has been easier than I expected, based on everything I'd heard and read, it's the waiting to see how they develop after retrieval that's the worst bit!

When they were still inside me I felt like I had some control. I made huge lifestyle changes and felt like I was doing something positive. Now they are in a lab miles away and I just feel powerless!

My eggs seem to think they're about 42, even though I'm not, as only 6% of my embryos were chromosomally normal. I'd done supplements and fertility reflexology for over a year before IVF so it was devastating to lose 20 embryos. My eggs are just poor quality.

I went with IVF and PGT-A due to risk of aneuploidy, but have found it very physically and emotionally difficult. Made the decision to TTC in 2019 so I'm tired now. I got a good healthy embryo on Day 5 though so it's logical to keep trying. I'm still struggling with exhaustion and hot flushes and waiting for my period to return.

I have an appointment coming up to discuss another IVF here as it'd be much more practical, but I would l prefer to use an open ID egg donor if it were affordable.

@KoraliaValentine i stayed in the U.K. I was referred to the fertility clinic by the NHS but they said there wasn’t anything they could do because I’d missed the cut off age for free IVF (I think it’s 42). So I then went private and was told that my numbers were okay and it was described as unexplained infertility. That particular hospital wouldn’t do the IVF because of my age so I went somewhere else private who specialised in IVF for over 45. They said they would do ivf until I had my fibroids removed. But then I went to see about that and they said that because they are so big that it could result in a hysterectomy! Either that or they could give me an injection that would temporarily put me into menopause for 6 months. But then I googled that and there are side effects if people not returning to normal and staying in menopause. So I just thought I’d leave it. The fibroids are on the outside of the uterus and shouldn’t affect my chances of conception. So I guess I’m just not meant to have a child 😔

If you're open to using donor eggs it doesn't matter if you've gone through menopause though. So you could try the injection and then even if your cycles don't go back to normal try donor eggs. Although that's not a path everyone wants to take, and it would be expensive. In most countries clinics will only treat you up to 50 though, so time is of the essence. But I think that attitudes towards fertility treatment can be a bit negative in the UK, and a bit more 'can do' elsewhere. Though of course no one can work miracles.

Sorry, I looked for previous posts from you on this thread, but couldn't see them. Do you mind me asking how old you are and how many rounds you've done.

You got a day 5 blastocyst but it PGT-A testing ruled it out?

From 22 fertilised eggs only 1 came back as chromosomally normal good grade on day 5. My clinic recommended 3 embryos per child before transferring, and given my issues getting pregnant even back in my 20s that seems sensible so as to not lose time and miss my chance. I'm looking into anything more I can do for egg and embryo quality, as I can just about squeeze one more round of IVF at 38. Although I'm not quite 40, my egg quality is much lower than typical for my age. This is self funded through an NHS clinic, it's a bit cheaper than private but no extras and longer waiting times.

Things I haven't tried is NAC and inositol, I'm worried about making anything worse by messing with things, but desperate to get more euploid embryos.

I didn't know about waiting for 3 embryos. I just assumed I would be transferring any that I got. I wonder if it's because I'm in a different country, or because I'm older, or because I said from the outset that I'd only do one round with my own eggs.

I've never heard of NAC or inositol. Off to Google! I've been doing everything in It Start With the Egg, plus some extra supplements recommended by my clinic. Filtered all my water, cooking in stainless steel pans only, only glass food packaging and storage containers, generally trying not to use plastics, changed all my cleaning and beauty products, plus diet and exercise and all the supplements. I guess I'll know in a few weeks whether it all made any difference!

@KoraliaValentine what supplements were recommended to you by the clinic? I’m taking all sorts and I’ll try anything if it will give me hope😆

3 embryos is due to success rates. If I put one in and it doesn't work, I'll lose valuable months till I could try IVF again and it could be too late. Embryo banking seems quite common in older women, especially if you want more than 1 child. By banking embryos first it gives you a chance, given most don't stick first time and only 20% are normal after 40 (way less for me).

Unfortunately my clinic only do ICSI for PGT, but I've heard standard IVF can be more gentle for mature and poorer quality eggs. Has anyone done both and seen a different in results?

I've just seen that NAC and inositol are discussed in It Starts With the Egg, but somehow I missed them!

@KoraliaValentine i know but I suppose I just like to have that <1% chance of hope that maybe something might happen naturally. You do hear of people having babies naturally and I guess that’s my only hope. I’ve heard of people having them generations ago before IVF. But I know that today there are a lot of people using donor eggs, frozen eggs etc and so I don’t get too excited when I hear things in the media of people my age getting pregnant….because those opinions are out for me. But I definitely obsess about previous generations. My Nan was 43 when she had her youngest. She didn’t have a particularly healthy lifestyle - did little exercise and smoked. I suppose that’s why I thought it would happen for me….I do a lot of exercise and I don’t smoke. But I guess it wasn’t meant to be

For a while I was taking one called Sinopol, alongside a pregnancy vitamin called Seidibion Prime, but I think the Sinopol was causing me to have an upset stomach, so my doctor recommended that I change to one called Seidivid Ferty4, and just take that alongside extra folic acid and ubiquinol.

I've had a terrible time with my stomach as I'm prediabetic but none of the fertility doctors at my local hospital explained that it could affect my fertility, only that it could cause problems in pregnancy, but that they would be treatable. They told me that my AMH, FSH and estradiol were all great for my age, so all was fine. They knew my AFC was very low, but didn't think to mention it. It was only when I went to the private fertility clinic that I found out that it was impacting my chances. They prescribed metformin and after a few months my AFC had trebled. I now know my insulin levels would have been affecting my egg quality too. I can't believe that the doctors at the hospital didn't know this. My GP asked why I was taking metformin and said she was surprised high blood sugar could affect fertility and she hadn't known that. I can't believe how much ignorance there is about fertility, even among the medical professionals.

Anyway, the metformin caused severe stomach troubles for months, though it was worth it in the end. I think the Sinopol made things worse, but it was difficult to tell in the circumstances. But the Sinopol was for women with PCOS I think. The problem is no one can tell if I have it or not. But as time goes on it seems less likely. The Seidivid Ferty4 is just for general egg quality. My husband has also been taking the male version.

Lots of women in my family tree had children in their 40s. My grandmother was born when her mother was 44, and my great grandmother had 3 in her 40s, two of which were late 40s (she had 13 in total!) I do wonder if environmental and lifestyle factors made it easier then, though. I really think that modern lifestyles are playing havoc with our fertility, but that we haven't noticed yet because social and economic factors have obscured it. When I say this people think I'm some kind of tin foil hat nutter, but we know sperm counts have drastically reduced, so why would it be different for women? Our great grandmother's had unhealthy lifestyles in some respects but they didn't have endocrine disrupters in all their food and water!

Anyway, up to the menopause it's always possible!

I was told my husband's sperm was microinjected. Is that the same as ICSI? I feel so ignorant. Other women seem to really have a handle on all their treatment, but I just go along and do what I'm told. Maybe I'm being too passive. I assumed it would be standard fertilisation, as my husband has no problem with his sperm, so I was quite surprised when I was told that, but I was so focused on the numbers that I didn't ask why. Maybe I'll ask when they call me tomorrow.