IVF April 2023 - looking for buddies!

[Triselly]

Anyone out there starting/continuing IVF treatment next month (April 2023)?

I’m 36, first time everything, and due to start stims early April. Wondering if there are others who might like a thread to chat/vent?

If you’re out there and in a similar position, let me know!

My daughter and her husband have just started on this pathway...have been using meds' etc

Hi all, hope you don't mind if I join. I'll be starting my first IVF cycle towards the end of this week hopefully, the meds are all stashed in the fridge and ready to go. Nervous about it all but also looking forward to actually being able to do something!
Wishing everyone luck, it's such a weird and isolating journey so nice to find others who understand.

@Triselly I definitely feel you on the giving stuff up – feel like I should treat my body the very healthiest I can, but life is stressful! I have pretty much given up alcohol for the last month or so, meant to do it before that but couldn't quite find the motivation without actual dates for IVF in the diary!

I also have a toddler (my wife carried her, and it was at home artificial insemination so no IVF needed), and she's helpfully going through a bit of a rough patch with sleep, so my dreams of being well rested, well hydrated and generally on top form for IVF are not going to plan! But she is the best thing, and every time I wobble about the IVF processes I just look at her and know it will all be so worth it.

@charja100 I'm also thinking I'll try numbing the area, if only to help psychologically! I also talked to my nurse about using EMLA numbing cream for the cannula when I go for egg collection because I am notoriously hard to find veins in, so I wonder if having the cream on will make me feel a bit more confident. So much of this is in our heads, isn't it?!

@CR7 That is so reassuring to hear about the egg collections. I've heard a few bad stories but mostly people like you saying it was fine. I'm really nervous about the cannula to get the sedation in, but hopefully it will just all go smoothly, and I'll be so proud of myself when it's done!

@charja100 Did you get sent videos to watch about your injections?

I'm doing mine with an Ovaleap pen, and they just sent a leaflet, which is fine but I really want a bit more help with feeling prepared to actually do it! I could probably google videos... wonder if anyone here has used videos for Ovaleap before?

My goodness, I'm glad you managed to complete your egg collection, and are now feeling better. It really is a journey full of emotions and unexpected challenges isn't it.

I think I'd have felt the same if I was in your shoes re having the break. It would have helped me to centre myself.

When is your FET? X

I'm using a company called Care Fertility, and I had a conversation with a nurse who talked me through it. She then told me to look at the videos on their website which I found really useful. They are accessible to anyone on their homepage, you should definitely take a look if you think that would be helpful

Sorry forgot to tag you ladies! @RunningOnHope and @HopefulHead

@charja100 Thanks, that so helpful! Will sit down with my wife and watch them this week I think :)

@charja100 I’ currently monitoring my ovulation as this has been my first cycle after EC so I want to check im all back to normal and ovulate as normal this month as I want to do natural cycle but will need to be able to predict my ovulation accurately for that.
We have our appointment next week so all being well we will be able to have the transfer when I ovulate next month 🤞🏼
Although we have just been told we aren’t funded for the transfer through the NHS even though we didn’t have a fresh one, so we now have to scramble around trying to find £1k+ in a week 🙈
It really is the hardest journey I’ve ever been on! But forums like this really helped me when I was going through stims and preparing for egg collection 🙏🏼

@Triselly I don't think it's jumping the gun . I think its good to have something weather it be an item of clothing or picking out names just to give you something to work towards and to keep believing in that this will happen as it can be so easy to lose motivation and belief as it really drains you mentally and physically

@RunningOnHope I don't drink and have never done any drugs. When they gave me the meds I was the most relaxed I've ever been haha xx

They are so patient. I chose not to look with the canula part. But honestly it's absolutely ok I promise. Bit crampy after but only like a period xx

Any questions please ask me. I wish I had someone to ask questions to at the beginning

@RunningOnHope @charja100 lots of vids on YouTube xx

How do you ladies stay so positive about IVF? I keep saying to my husband that I know it's not going to work for us as the odds in general are quite low and that I feel like we're just going through the motions so that we can say we tried everything 🤷🏻‍♀️

I have a two year old born after fertility issues right before an IVF cycle so never actually had to go through with it before. I can't imagine we'd have that miracle happen again.

Trying for number two has been worse as we now have the opposite problem as last time. This time we can get pregnant (eventually) but I've had two MMCs.

@MK85
Totally agree!
This is a bit revealing…. But my hubby is a postman and about 2 years ago (way before our ivf started but we had already started the process and on waiting list etc) I saw a baby grow with postman Pat on with ‘special delivery’ printed on the front and I couldn’t resist buying it and I’m not ashamed to say I’ve cuddled it so many times throughout this process, sometimes mourning what I felt was never gonna happen and sometimes to remind me why all of this was so worth it.
@TheBirdintheCave That also kinda answers your question… our odds haven’t been great and it’s felt like something had gone wrong at every turn but we agreed on a time / cycle limit at the begining so if it hasn’t worked by then we will draw a line under it and move on to a child free life (we agreed a holiday to Hawaii if it doesn’t work) but for now, we are still going through it so I’m throwing my all in to it and reminding myself that even if it is a small chance, it is still a chance this could work so I have to see it as worth it ❤️
It ain’t over until the fat (or pregnant) lady sings ✌🏼

@HopefulHead I guess I'm just scared that if I have any belief that it could work then I'll be even more depressed when it doesn't 😂

Hawai'i is amazing. I hope you get to go WITH a child one day 🥰

We have Sicily booked for a family holiday after our first cycle is over.

@HopefulHead aaah, that's very nice with baby grow... ❤ it sometimes can be easier having something physical. both ways to keep he hope going but also grieve from time to time when we don't get the result we want.

@TheBirdintheCave - i'm bit like you, trying not to raise my hopes. If I keep on thinking that it's simply a medical procedure rather than emotionally attaching myself to it in my head it feels this will be easier to get through.

@CR7 - it seems you have some experience with this. how did you manage to cope with transfers that did not end up with bfp? what was your strategy?

I would much appreciate if any ladies who had bfn after transfer could share their experiences of coping with it.

@BandyButter83 there was no magic method. Feeling the horrific sadness but doing my best not to let it overwhelm me.

First transfer was a day one freeze with the NHS. didn't work.

Then I went private with create who said they would never transfer a day one freeze.

I did duo stim with genetic testing. Ended up with three perfect embryos after pgta.

Transfer two (first of the three) didn't work so did some extra investigations to check the environment was up to scratch (endemetrio and Hysteroscopy). Half results back all ok. Just waiting for the rest of the results now.

Have still got two embryos left. With pgta the chances of miscarriage are way lower which gives me much more peace of mind. Still may not work but chances of success are 60% which is incredibly high compared to 9% it would have been without the genetic testing x

@HopefulHead I'm so sorry to hear that you're not being funded for this part. We've tried for funding for so long we gave up in the end and have just gone private. I'm so conscious of every month that ticks by now.

Are you doing a natural cycle approach then to all your treatment. I looked into natural cycle but have decided to go with a different clinic due to a number of factors and natural cycle wasn't an option with them.

Good luck to you all.
but just wanted to comment re paying and extra £1k short term.
when we had ivf - it was the day of sperm & egg collection and the embryologist recommend we use ICSI method as the sperm we clumping together… (even though DH count was good). Anyway I think it’s something only the embryologist sees under microscope when getting the sperm and egg ready to put in the Petri dish.

so we agreed and had to pay and extra £1k for that ASAP!
so just letting you all know it is good to have a back up plan for paying something extra short notice just in case..!
I really hope this works out for you all X

@Triselly @MK85 For me it's a tiny baby grown in my bedside drawer. We bought a pack of three last Christmas, one for each of our sisters who were both pregnant, and one in faith that our little one would join them soon.

@TheBirdintheCave Yeah I get that, I got sick of people telling me to ‘stay positive’ when I wanted to just be practical instead and know our chances weren’t great, but I also know I’ll always have that bit of hope until we decide to draw a line under it.
Aww how lovely 😍 bet it’s nice knowing you have something to look forward to regardless ❤️

@BandyButter83 Yes exactly, and it’s super cute so I really hope I get to use it one day 🥰

@charja100 So we did ICSI shirt protocol as norm with all the stims, trigger shot etc but because I was so poorly after egg collection I want to try natural for the FET. If it doesn’t work I will probably try controlled on the next one but I’m really cautious of putting any more drugs in my body if I don’t need to 😬
I don’t blame you with going private, it took us around 2 years from first referral but we got married late last year so it kind of worked out nicely starting this year, I think we’d probably have done the same if the wait had been longer!

@Bree82 Thank you 😘 We had ICSI too but luckily we knew in advance, we just weren’t expecting to pay anything out for our first round as it’s our funded one so we’re only told within the last week and we’d need to pay next week so it’s left us a little short 🙈 But we’ll get through it 🤞🏼and we’ll definitely have some back up funds ready going forward so we aren’t caught out again 😬

@CR7 Thank you for the info - that genuinely has made me feel much better about the egg collection! Really appreciate your insight x

@RunningOnHope ooh I have some experience of Emla cream - it’s often used within my line of work. It is effective but you have to put it on in quite a specific way - about 1.5 hours before the injection, layer it on your skin, then wrap the area in clingfilm. Take it off and wipe off cream about 10 mins or so before the injection and it should work very well.

@MK85 Thank you for making my name-searching not sound too bonkers! I think you’re absolutely right about the motivation aspect.

A question for @CR7 or anyone else who knows - how often do you have blood tests during an IVF cycle? I have my first scan next Tuesday and obviously a few more after that, but it didn't occur to me that there might be blood tests at those too?

I have to reeeeeaaaalllly hydrate before a blood test and take hot water bottles for my hands and all that sort of thing, so I will get drinking in the next few days if so!

@RunningOnHope I had no blood tests whatsoever with the NHS to be honest.

With create who are private I had blood tests as part of the initial testing / scans etc and I had blood tests throughout the FET process. Maybe three per cycle? xx

@Triselly @MK85 I have a baby gro and jacket with little duckies on it in the back of my wardrobe. We bought it the day with found out we were pregnant with the first MMC just over a year ago now. I don't know whether I should give it away or hang on to it.

@HopefulHead Yeah knowing that the holiday is right there whether we get a negative or not is helpful :)