POAS: bodies are weird and stupid 🤦🏼‍♀️

[bringmearainbow]

@FfayeN @MrsJGrealish @LuckyMoonstone @Indianna2006 @usedtolovenaps @monsteramunch @bunnykins123

@TheBirdintheCave haha cleaning does help cleanse the mind! Oh that's good, what bloods have you had taken?

@bunnykins123 Just a finger prick test I did for a thyroid check. I figured that one was the easiest one to get done whilst waiting for the fertility clinic appointment :)

@TheBirdintheCave I love and hate cleaning with equal passion. I think I just like the end result 😂 hopefully your results won't be long I have had mine over the weekend before if they don't show today

@TheBirdintheCave @bringmearainbow I am exactly the same, I hate cleaning so much but I feel so much more relaxed and happy knowing my house is freshly cleaned 😂 I attacked the whole of downstairs today including a deep kitchen clean 👍

@TheBirdintheCave good idea! It's always a good idea to be proactive with your health. Hopefully it'll come through soon. I did it before and it was a bloodbath trying to fill the vial!

@bringmearainbow I'm like you - hate it until it's done! But I loooove a clean and tidy house. Sadly, these days it never lasts long 🙄

I actually love cleaning I just never seem to have time to get past the washing pile at the moment! 😩

@TheBirdintheCave when should you get your results?
@bringmearainbow at least now your temp has dropped you know where you are. I feel for you, you just want a bog standard normal cycle! xx

I’ve given up on all other threads to be honest - it’s too much for me.
I’m currently trying to make peace with the fact that we may not have another child.

So I’m on CD8 today and gearing up for yet more tactical seduction in the coming week. This process is so shit. I’m always the one to initiate DTD, I have no idea why DH doesn’t seem that bothered about it. I have asked him but he’s not the best at communication - he just says he’s tired 🙄 It’s really starting to wear me down.

@pangolin84 I think what you're describing is quite normal when you've been ttc for a while. At least, for me we shared the same issues. I know lots of people say not to tell DH when you get your peak but I had to otherwise it literally wouldn't happen. I do think the pressure of it, especially if it's going on longer than expected, does get to them. All you can do is continue to talk to him and keep pushing through each month. Have you discussed other techniques to cover your bases such as a cup/syringe?

Hi everyone, hope you're all doing OK.

I've been quiet the last few days as I'm struggling. We're TTC #1 and I'm a bit all consumed with the fear as we've not had success in a year of trying.

I don't think I'll cope with not ever being a parent. It's unthinkable to me as it's all I've ever really wanted.

I think maybe some counselling or something might be in order while we're having fertility investigations.

Every time I hear someone has fallen I feel terrified it'll never be me. Im no less happy for them at all (promise!) and am glad it's happened for them, I just feel so sad for me. So self involved and I hate myself for it but just being honest.

Just thinking out loud really.

Hi everyone, I've been a bit quiet but have been reading this post to see how you've all been doing. Fingers tightly crossed for an uneventful 8 months for the BFPs and I'm so sorry for the continued heartbreak that some of you have been suffering.

No real reason for this post. CD6 of cycle 12 since my miscarriage in March, and we're only giving ourselves another couple of months now, so like @pangolin84 I'm trying to make peace with the idea it will never happen and maybe it's for the best....DD2 (4) in particular has found the presence of our little Ukrainian guest tough so I wonder if she'd resent a little sibling 🤷‍♀️. But I'd like to give it another two months to make it a full year before formally hanging up the TTC cloak...

I'm sure it will be you one day. I remember feeling similar once I'd reached the 12 month mark TTC DD1, and then 4 months later I finally got my first ever positive pregnancy test. And she's amazing 💕

@curliegirlie I so hope this is your cycle ❤️

@monsteramunch I just wanted to provide a bit of reassurance. I know for some people it just can't happen naturally, which is something really hard to deal with, but for some it just takes longer than others. I have two close friends, who don't know each other actually, and they both took over a year to conceive naturally. (One was 2 years, the other 3). One went through tests for IVF and nothing was found to be wrong, she then conceived and he's now 3. The other had given up tracking cycles (turns out she'd actually had a couple of CPs but didn't realise that's what it was) her son is now 2. It's a long old slog, but keep going if you feel you are able to. It can (not will as I'm conscious for some sadly it doesn't) happen. If you're having tests you're doing all the right stuff inbetween and planning the next steps. You have so much time left to have a baby, whether naturally or through IVF and much more to give this journey I'm sure. It does seem like your last cycle was a CP, which shows your body is being selective about the embryos it implants, which means things are happening in there it just might not feel like it with each cycle not resulting in a pregnancy.
Counselling may be a good step too, I feel in almost at that stage aswell, just to get me through the lows. Feel free to rant here, I am sure someone else could give my advice in a better way too, sorry if it has come across wrong 😘. xxx

Should have added everyone else to that last post too 😂 I hope this is EVERYONES lucky cycle and we all get out of the hell hole that is TTC.

@FfayeN They didn't turn up on Friday so I guess it'll be Monday now.

@FfayeN

Thank you so much for your post.

I'm sat here sobbing reading it, but in a relieved way as someone has listened to my fear and not dismissed it as so often happens in real life (not so much on here as I think people 'get it' more) when people do the 'when it's meant to be...' type comments.

I'm so pleased for your friends and it's lovely to hear stories of it working out after so long. I know myself and know unless I am told point blank that there is zero chance of pregnancy (please, please universe tell me that isn't the case) then I'll keep trying.

I cannot imagine not being a parent. It's something I've actively wanted and looked forward to since I was very little. I had to have a termination at 18 after being raped and feel devastated that it could have been my one chance and was stolen from me. I've never regretted it as it was the right decision but am now starting to feel doubt creep in which I can't believe as I've never for one second questioned it before. The idea that was my chance and I blew it is too much to handle.

Can't stop crying and think maybe I actually just need to let myself do that this weekend.

I am so, so exhausted of it consuming my thoughts 😞

Thank you again for hearing my pain and responding, I appreciate it so much.

Sorry for being such a mood hoover on here.

@monsteramunch
We're all here, anytime 😘.
Please don't doubt any decisions you've made previously, stress will cause us all to do this, you're not the only one, many times have I (and my DH 🙄, which was nice) questioned my choices to delay trying, they were choices made right at the time and I imagine if you hadn't terminated the previous pregnancy life would have thrown a lot of different struggles your way.
We are here and now...take the weekend to feel your emotions and when you feel ready, talk to your other half and go from there. It's really really tough, just don't write yourself off as it's been a year, sometimes it just takes that bit longer and having a previous termination should have no impact on your chances now 😘😘😘 xxx

@TheBirdintheCave it's a shame you've got to wait longer. Do they send it through on an App or email? X

@monsteramunch big big hugs lovely @FfayeN put it absolutely perfectly ❤️ we're all here to listen to whatever you need us to xxx

@TheBirdintheCave you might get them this weekend still I sent some weds before and got results on Sunday 🤞🏼

@FfayeN They'll be emailed :)

@bringmearainbow I don't really mind waiting but it would be nice if they came on Sunday.

@monsteramunch So sorry to hear about what you've been through :( xx

@bringmearainbow how are you doing? Is AF still around or has she finally left for this month? Xx

@monsteramunch I've been reading and not interacting much but I've read your post and I'm so very sorry that you went through that. I terminated a pregnancy at 24 (I had a stroke caused by the pill so we weren't using protection and my head was a mess) But then went on to have my little girl 3 years later. No issues. You are very brave and I only hope very soon you'll get your bfp. Big hugs lovely 😘

@monsteramunch I’m sorry for what you’ve been through, this is obviously something that is so important to you, your feelings are totally understandable and we are all here for you. I so so hope you get your BFP soon xxx

@FfayeN @bringmearainbow @TheBirdintheCave @LuckyMoonstone @MrsJGrealish

Thank you all for being so kind, it's genuinely made a real difference today.

I fear you'll regret telling me to vent away! To try to feel a bit more in control of things, I've brain dumped below and if anyone sees anything glaringly obvious I'm missing / has any tips then please do let me know

Day 3 and day 21 blood tests
34.4 level at 7 days before period, doc said this shows I ovulated. Wasn’t given day 3 results despite asking, should I chase this? Receptionist I spoke to just said there were no notes about my day 3 test...

Semen analysis
Booked for next month (soonest we could get) fingers crossed for positive results. If all is well with his semen, what are the next steps likely to be? If his results show low sperm count / low mobility what are the next steps likely to be?

Both have a healthy diet (mine very, his could be better but isn’t bad at all) we don’t drink (me since TTC other than the odd drink during periods, he is teetotal for a good eight years or so) and we don’t smoke. I take prescribed folic acid and vitamin d. I’m 36 and he is a couple of years younger.

We DTD at least every other day in fertile window (using ovulation tests to check the timing is right).

Starting to temp this month - I’m still on my period but have taken it today and inputted it to the Premom app and will do so every morning from now on. As well as OPKs (digital and also strip) as I do find these useful. Not really clear on how the temping helps - I assume when my temp begins to rise, we make sure we DTD daily if possible? Might share my charts on here as I go as I find it a bit of a mystery so may need some guidance!

Pretty sure last month was a chemical following our discussions here and chat with a nurse pal. Good in one way as something is happening but scary in another as means for some reason it isn’t sticking. But I know that can just be a one off thing, or not an every time thing anyway.

At the moment, is there anything obvious I’m missing?

I might try acupuncture next cycle. I feel like it must be a coincidence but a couple of people I know had success the month after a course. Anything is worth a shot I think. And I do think counselling would be helpful to support me while we are at this scary waiting stage.

Thank you all again for all being so kind, it's really appreciated

@FfayeN AF is still lurking about 🙄 doesn't look like it will finish today so I'm hopeful it might finish tomorrow 🤞🏼after my temp dropped it turned into a proper period flow so at least that seems back to normal 😂 I've been keeping as busy as possible and had a good sort out of one of our spare rooms I'm absolutely aching all over and will probably regret all the lugging about I've done today 🙄 only a couple more days before I start the CB digitals back to poas my fave hobby 😂

@bringmearainbow I'm glad you've been keeping busy to pass the time! I always like the bit once AF leaves before having to DTD 🤣

@monsteramunch it sounds like you're doing loads of great stuff. I don't know the relevance of Day 3 tests, mine is just testing progesterone at day 21 aswell. It maybe worth just having a full blood count via your GP, to check Vit D, Vit B and thyroid levels, all of those can impact fertility and they should be accommodating.
I think if all your tests come back normal the advice is likely to be keep trying, or as it's been over a year you should get NHS cycles of IVF? If not then the decision could be to go private.
Depending on what of his results are not as they should be you may be advised to do IUI, IVF, ICSI, it will all depend what they come back as. It's hard to say as there's a couple of things that could be a challenge from that side. Do you have a consultation for when his results are back?
I wanted to try acupuncture, contacted the two in my town and they both ignored me 🙄. I have had fertility reflexology though and that was amazing! xx