First Timers TTC. Safe space for brain dumps, questions, whinges and celebrations. Part 2!

[TinyDancer91]

Hi All.

This is a continuation from my past thread, but no need to go read that one if you're new here!

Quick TD;LR from the old post (but with up to date info) - I'm 31, OH is 35. We are TTC baby #1. Been TTC since Jan 2022, now on cycle 14. Haven't told anyone to avoid pressure.

Feel free to post any questions, thoughts, whinges, celebrations, basically anything here!

Going to try to be a bit more positive than I was toward the end of the last thread 😂

Love & baby dust to all. Wishing for BFPs for everyone this year 💖

@Ditzydaisychain thank you! It was indeed lovely! We didn’t get pregnant though so I’m 36 (DH is 41) and am onto cycle 7. I’m going to have a fertility consultation with my GP and go from there.

Its good that you’re much more relaxed this cycle. Not sure if this will sound dismissive (I don’t mean it to) but there’s a lot of life to enjoy outside of reproducing. If you’re not obsessing over trying to get pregnant, at least you can enjoy all that life has to offer outside of that.

@Feliciacat I don’t find that dismissive. I think you’re right. Life is for living, you can let TTC consume you and that’s what I’ve done. I recently had a doctors appointment and asked them the exact date I had my implant out, it was 2 years ago this month. Before we decided to track my cycle I was so easy going and we were just seeing if it happened each month. I never counted the weeks or worried, as soon as I started tracking I became obsessive and honestly it’s been really negative for me.

I hope your consultation goes well.

@Ditzydaisychain gosh that sounds really hard on you. I’m so glad you’ve decided to not track so much. Thank you for your well wishes to me; I am sending good wishes to you too xx

Hi all. How is everyone doing?

Has anyone made any progress on their TTC journey?

I'm feeling kind of lost at the moment and just generally finding life kind of hard. I feel bad for feeling like this because I have 2 great jobs that I love, a nice house, nice car, boyfriend who loves me unconditionally (and I him in return), family who care about me. I feel awful for not feeling like myself....

It feels like my whole life is on hold and there's nothing I can do except wait. We have our first appointment with the fertility clinic in just under 7 weeks, which still feels like a lifetime away.

I've been debating posting this now for weeks because I didn't want this thread to be a negative thread or a pity party, but I needed to get some things out there. It's so hard trying to stay 'normal' when no-one knows what's going on, explaining 'off' days as just being tired.

I'm not expecting any response to this (unless you want to let me know how you're doing), so please don't feel like you have to respond.

Sending love & baby dust to all x

Hey @TinyDancer91, I've not actually posted on this thread before, but couldn't leave you without a response.

You sound really low ❤️ and it's totally understandable. I just hope you've managed to have a gentle weekend with some nice moments?

A bit about me - I seem to spend my life at the moment on threads like this hoping one day I can properly join in! I'm nearly 33 and have been ready for a while (feeling that clock ticking now...) but partner isn't yet ready and I feel like I have to be patient as really want us both to be excited to start TTC.

Hope everybody trying has had lots of good luck this cycle 🍀

Hey all, hoping I can join?

This was our first month TTC, although not being super strict.. we are getting married in a week so that's taking up most of my spare time at the moment and I don't want to add any extra pressure, but we aren't being careful when DTD.

I am currently CD16, and we DTD on CD11 and yesterday (CD15). I haven't used OPKs this cycle due to not really getting chance with the wedding planning and also just not wanting to put extra pressure on, however I have in the past on a couple of cycles (just for insight and gain a bit more knowledge on my cycle leading up to TTC!) and have noticed my peak is always around CD15-17 and I did have some slight cramping last night and this morning which I can only assume is ovulation!

This is our first month of not being careful when DTD and we're not actively 'trying' as such by OPK testing etc etc, so I'm fully not expecting anything this month, but I just wanted to join in the the thread as it's nice to have people to talk to who are all going through a similar thing!! I also feel like knowing we DTD last night and realising that it was most likely my peak, it's going to be on my mind!!

Also, massive congrats to those on you BFPs and sending lots of baby dust to those trying ✨
Xx

@TinyDancer91 hi, sorry you are feeling low. It is really hard work isn't it?

We went well past the 12 month mark, so have gone to GP. My husband had another SA - when he had his first it was all OK, but this time he had a text saying one of the parameters was "slightly out of range". I don't think that sounds that bad but he was a bit upset. He's waiting for an app now to discuss full results with the doctor.

I'm meant to be having day 21 progesterone tested but when I went to the docs this week they couldn't get any blood as she couldnt gry to a vein. So I have to go back next month instead.

I was really upset about it earlier in the week but just trying not to think too much about it now. I also paid for a hertility test and ironically couldn't get anywhere near enough blood for that either (that's a little tube you fill from a finger prick at home). So I have to give that another go next week when AF arrives.

I feel a bit fed up!

@skyerojo welcome! Sorry that your partner doesn't seem to be ready to TTC yet. How does he react when you bring it up? Maybe he's just scared?

@rosecbrm welcome! Congrats on the wedding! Hope you have an amazing day!! Fingers crossed for you to be one of the lucky ones and end up with an (almost) honeymoon baby

@LucyLoopyLu I have ups & downs at the mo. We are current on cycle 20.... starred the process off with our gp in Jan, so depending on the area you live, expect to be in this now for the long haul.... I had day 21 bloods done. Ended up having them done twice because there was a 'lab error' first time around. I also paid for the Hertility test and all my bloods came back as 'normal'.
OH had a SA and came back with low count & low motility. He's been referred to urology and to the fertility clinic. Still waiting for appointments for both and have been since April I think. Chasing them up this week as they won't allow you to until a certain date 🙄

My referral to the fertility clinic came through fairly quickly after his SA but there's still a huge wait in our area. My appointment is mid august but for those referred now, it's around mid/end Nov! 😱
It's good that you have got the ball rolling don't let the GP sit on any referrals, keep pushing. Sometimes my OH is too horizontal so will just wait and wait. I'm getting impatient and end up chasing everything up for us 😂

@TinyDancer91 I can really sympathise, although I'm a few months behind you in the process. Did they refer you straight to fertility because of the SA and your tests were normal? My GP seemed to say the first referral would be to gynaecology, rather than fertility. But I don't know if it depends on what area you live in or your test results.

I will try and keep pushing the GP as I know it could take ages. And I'm 35 soon.
How did you find your Hertility sample went? Did you struggle to get enough blood or was yours OK? I think if I can't do it this time I'm going to ask for a partial refund.

Sorry you're still in limbo @tinydancer91, I found the early days of ttc sooo hard because I was constantly unsure where my life would be in 9 months. Then as time went on I just got used to assuming nothing would have changed. Even now with IVF on the horizon I'm still booking work in for the possible due dates and I won't even feel slightly guilty if I have to cancel 😀

We've now been ttc for 2 1/2 years with no BPF. But, PROGRESS AT LAST! We've had all our initial tests, received our nhs funding for 1 cycle of ivf, and we had our initial appointment at the fertility clinic today. Next step is call them on day 1 of my period, and get started on IVF! (They explained all the various steps today but basically it all happens in the space of 2 cycles, i.e. the pregnancy test would be approx 2 months after that phone call.)

The bad news is that I'm away for work for most of August so there's no point in me calling them this month cos I won't be around for treatment ☹️ But, I'm optimistic that my cycles and availability will allow for me to call them at the start of my next cycle in mid-August.

In the meantime, I'm going up from 3 supplement pills a day to EIGHT. Booooooo! 😩 And DH is going from 1 to 3, but he's less of a wuss about swallowing pills than me. One of his is suuuuuper expensive though.

@LucyLoopyLu my appointment in aug is with gynaecology. My gp hasn't really explained anything tbh.

I found the Hertility test ok. Have you thought about paying for someone to come and help? I'm sure that was offered on their site?

woops had meant to tag you @TinyDancer91 and good news re your appt!

Hi all it’s been a while since I posted just been feeling a little down as I had a chemical at the start of June 😔 I’ve tried not to let it get to me but it’s made me super anxious. Been back to it tracking ovulation and currently on TWW and waiting to see what the outcome is - on holiday atm so have nice distractions but not looking forward to being back to reality in a week.

@TinyDancer91 yeah I did think about it, but it's quite a lot of money (I'm thinking another £80, without checking?) And seeing as the nurse couldn't get a vein last week I'm really disinclined to pay the money when it might not even be easy / possible for them to do it on the day!

How is everyone doing? Has anyone made any progress in their journey?

Sending love to all 💕

@TinyDancer91

hey hun,

I haven’t posted on here in a long long time.

so we actually have a diagnosis…

my partner has obstructive azoospermia so our only chance of conceiving a biological child is with a surgical sperm retrieval and then ICSI.

we’ve only known for about a week and I am absolutely devastated. 0% chance of conceiving naturally 💔

we actually saw Dr Ramsay and have to say he is absolutely wonderful!

how are you doing? How are you all? Xxx

Sorry to hear that @BeeLieve86. I don’t want this to sound like toxic positivity but at least you know what you’re dealing with now so can act accordingly. Obviously you’ll need to mourn the fact that you can’t conceive naturally; that’s a big deal!

@TinyDancer91 have you made any progress? My partner might have a Variocele which would cause infertility. He’s not had semen analysis yet but he’ll get that and a testicular scan in due course. I’m getting blood tests to check my ovarian reserve and to check if I’m ovulating but I can’t have normal blood tests due to awful veins. So I’m getting it done via my neck! We shall see what all these test results show but basically, we do have primary infertility. It’s just a case of finding out why.

Meanwhile, so many people at work and in our personal lives are conceiving left, right and centre! Especially newlyweds like me and my partner. I’m pleased for people who conceive but it’s always a slap in the face to be honest!

Meanwhile, so many people at work and in our personal lives are conceiving left, right and centre!

This is how I'm feeling. Literally a third of my co-workers are expecting, have just given birth or are just coming back from mat leave. Several of my friends have recently had babies. Everywhere I look, everyone else has a baby. We are in our 8th month of trying and I feel terrible.

Hi guys - can I join? I've had 2 missed miscarriages since starting TTC No1 - first of which was after 2.5 years of trying and I miscarried in 2019 (with my ex). Recently miscarried my second pregnancy after 6 months trying with my current partner. Ready to try again right away as soon as I get positive opks!

Hi all, I think this thread might be for me, hope it's ok to join you all!

My first pregnancy very sadly ended in a TFMR at 25 weeks due to a severe brain abnormality picked up at the 20 week scan (this was last year and I think I'm still in shock about the whole thing really as it feels like someone else's life). I then fell pregnant again in June but unfortunately had a chemical.

I'm definitely struggling with seeing other people seemingly falling pregnant quickly and brining their baby home but I'm also trying to stay optimistic.

I look forward to following your journeys ♥️

Hey All,

Hoping you’re all okay.

I was just 4 days late, and although deep down I knew I was just late, I’d allowed myself to get a little hopeful.

DH wants us to start investigating if there are any issues, as we’ve not used contraception for over 2 years. But I feel as I only started tracking ovulation in jan they will tell us to wait a year. What would you do? I only am going off my friend being told to come back after a year. I overthink and get myself worried about going to the GP so thoughts from rational people would be very welcome.

Like PP lots of babies all over in my current life. I’ve just been asked to be a Godmother which is so lovely and I am so honoured but I ended up crying on my way home and I’m not really sure why. Spend lots of times with other babies and don’t cry.

Have a nice weekend, hope it’s not rainy where you are ☀

Hi all.

Welcome to all of our newbies. Sorry for my lack of activity (again!)

We were due to have our first appointment at the clinic tomorrow. Absolutely heartbroken, received a text message this morning to say it has been cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances 😭 feel so lost... we were supposed to be starting to get some answers, not take 3 steps backwards.

I looked online at the next available appointment and it's not until 31st January!! Phoned them to be told they will reschedule hopefully in the next few weeks...

So still no info or answers here.

Just to add to everything, OH's SIL is pregnant again.... desperately waiting for our turn, wondering if it will ever come....

Hey @TinyDancer91 I’m so sorry to hear that. Excuse me if I’ve missed something and you’ve already gone private but could you go private? My husband has seen a private urologist and he’s been diagnosed with a varicocele and can get surgery on it. This all has happened within the space of a month! So it’s worth the money if only for for the speed. Only £500 for a consultation. Not sure what scan and surgery cost but he has health insurance so only paid the excess anyway. We’d pay even if we didn’t have insurance because of how much reassurance the speed of the appointments have been. If that’s not a financial option then I’m sorry for suggesting it. It could be worth using savings for though.

My point is that I get why you’ll be devastated by the appointment being cancelled because answers are everything and you’re lost without them. At least you’re only 32 (judging from your username). You probably have at least 8 years to try fertility treatments if they’re an option. I really hope you get another appointment asap!

@TinyDancer91 im so sorry to see it got cancelled, hope they have got in touch with a new appointment for you? I know how hard it is to keep waiting and hoping but your day will come please don’t lose your hope! Once you get there these clinics can work miracles ❤️