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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

TTC Thread 15...........a thread full of babydust.

1218 replies

geordie · 03/12/2004 11:28

here it is girls.

ttc 15

the last one of 2005 I think.......

However- I am sending loads of babydut to you all

I really hope this beanie sticks......cos as much as i luv you all I really want to join a antenatal board!!

Geordie
(and beanie due august 15th 2005!)

OP posts:
hester · 08/12/2004 16:33

Hi SweetFudge. Yes, it's so sad about my colleague. I didn't know her very well at all, but she always seemed very sweet and her poor husband is heartbroken. The children still haven't been told...

My inseminations are going OK. Desperately hoping it will work this month, though from the signals my body is sending me I suspect it hasn't. ttc this way is the pits, isn't it? I not only have the stress of my biological clock, but also the constant worry that my donor will get bored and pull out. I SO wish I could just make love with my partner and have it happen, and I bet you do too!

I was really interested in your flask-warming question to feelingvlucky earlier, and I think we've discussed this before. My understanding is that over-warming is as dangerous, if not more so, as under-warming. Sperm should only be kept at body temperature, no hotter, so best is if you keep the post/vessel/whatever under your clothing next to your skin, rather than heating it artificially. I probably go the other way and keep it too cold, but I always reckon that because I'm inseminating within ten minutes I'm OK. Maybe not, though... what do you think?

cockenzie · 08/12/2004 16:46

tx everyone for cheering.its god to be on this site

its okto mispellmy name!i may even do it myself hehe!!

cockenzie · 08/12/2004 16:48

hav to say good nite everyone.time to go and make tea for dp.huggs!!

Twiga · 08/12/2004 16:53

What's the time difference with you Colin?

Hester what a song and dance you have to go through, hats off to you!

jingleballs · 08/12/2004 16:55

hester, is there no chance for u and DP (if u don't mind me asking?)

bit like being at trafic lights for the sperms isn't it! lol, they can go so far then need to stop b4 they can carry on for teh egg! lol, is it right that sperm can survive inside the woman for 7 days? (not getting crude here but..) does the 'spilliage' element not mena theres less inside as it were?

jingleballs · 08/12/2004 16:55

I hope Jeddah's getting on ok.

Colinsawmommykissingsantaclaus · 08/12/2004 17:07

8 hours behind site time, Twiga. Everyones winding down and going to bed while colin naps, but oh well.

jingleballs · 08/12/2004 17:21

i've just been reading the Angus Castus thread, as my cycles were 26 days before I started using it and star flower, I think i'm going to stop everything completely, no folic acid or anything and see how that progresses when DH is back, and just use the persona. I don't want to be hindering my chances here, aulthou I was sure I OV'ed about CD10-12 ish. (day 10 now and no O)

SweetFudge · 08/12/2004 17:28

Hello Hester,

I feel the same way about our donor - I keep worrying that he's going to pull out at some point because he'll get fed up or bored and also, like you, I think it hasn't succeeded this month. Why do you think it might not have worked this month? With me, my boobs have gotten sore and frankly, I don't want to get my hopes up again as I have a tendency to believe my own hype and start eyeing up maternity clothes, pregnancy books, etc. And then the rollercoaster takes a dive into the AF loop.

I wish too that I could just make love to dh and conceive that way. I am not given to sentimentality yet I still sometimes wake in the middle of the night and look at dh sleeping next to me and it still hurts that I will never have his child.

I am keeping my fingers very,very crossed that it will work for you, for me, for all of us on this thread.

Regarding the heated flask, DH insists that there is no harm done. He cites the success we had with our very first insemination arranged through Mannotincluded. Our donor had been instructed to heat the flask with freshly boiled water, empty the flask, then store the filled jar in there.

Mulling it over, I'm going to talk to our donor and ask him to leave the flask unheated for the next cycle which will be in March. Thanks for discussing it with me again!

Are you taking agnus castus? I've been taking a low dose as I have irregular cycles and have started using Persona this month as well. (Previously tracked my cycles using cm and basal temps).

jingleballs · 08/12/2004 17:31

I didn't realise the situation you go thru with donors. is there a set limit on who many times/frequency you can try as it were?

Makes me feel lucky we're not in that boat really. fingers crossed all around for you. (and loads a baby dust.

hester · 08/12/2004 17:40

SF, maybe ask him to put it inside his vest and keep it warm that way? No disrespect to him, but I'm not sure I'd trust a donor to get the heating right - he just doesn't have the same incentive to be careful, does he?

But I shouldn't pass my paranoia on to you!

I have been using agnus castus, in a very unthoughtout, hey let's give it a go kind of way. But as I am very regular I'm not sure I should, and after the other thread I think I may stop.

I so know what you mean, the looking over at your dp thing... it feels such a loss to me that i will never bear the child of someone I love. But I do still firmly believe what I said to feelingvlucky - that when we have our babies they will be the babies we were meant to have.

jb, both SweetFudge and I have found our own donors so there is no law, regulation or limit on it. It is a very difficult thing to organise and negotiate (just try finding a man who's prepared to do this! it's way easier to go to a clinic) but the benefits can be immense: for me, having my child be able to know their father felt like a very big deal. Children born through clinics currently have no right to know anything about their biological father. That doesn't feel altogether wrong to me (I think it's a great service for many women who otherwise couldn't have children at all) but it felt wrong for MY child. SweetFudge is of course in a different position, because she has a husband who will be the father to her child in every way that's really important.

jingleballs · 08/12/2004 17:48

I know ur DP maynot be the 'biological' father of your child. and I understand you would like your child to know this man who's the donor, but your DP is still the 'dad' as it were. (that may well be my nieve view on the world). Will you introduce the donor as uncle such and such and your DP as dad or have you not thought that far ahead yet?

It's quite involved thou by the sounds of it really.

hester · 08/12/2004 18:04

Er, no jb, because my dp is actually a girl, so there's definitely a vacancy for a dad!

Have I shocked you? Grin

feelingvlucky · 08/12/2004 18:04

Hester & Sweetfudge,
About inseminations - we used info from PinkParents -was very clear and even included the syringe. Our donor's wife got some little NHS pots (they assure us the logistics at their end were quite funny) - small clear plastic ones with silver screw on lids and we just kept it at body temperature (in hands, or between legs) until we used it. But its been quite cold, and a few times at 'pick up' we've stopped and chatted so its been cold. Although the time it worked we were quite quick. So that seemed fine. Also had the terrifying worry about 'leakage' (sorry if tmi), but that didn't seem to matter - I kept reading message boards about that to reassure me it was okay. We used the 10 ml syringe from PinkParents, until the time where we lost it 5 mins before setting off for collection! On a Sunday, as well. Ended up in an NHS walk in centre - frightened a receptionist by saying I wanted a syringe you could use to feed a baby (I think cos of the child protection worries they then rushed me in to see a nurse!), had to explain our situation in a hurry, and the wonderful woman came up with about 12 different ones, so in the end we used a 5 ml one, cos it was more comfy. So just found a quiet spot, hid under a blanket in the backseat, it took all of 2 seconds and then stayed lying down for the journey (about 40 mins). With the obligatory pillow.

On the zinc thing, it may or may not have helped with him, but I also made sure we were having lots, not in supplements but in diet. Also found some sprouting sunflower seeds (health shops) as someone said they were miraculous - put them in salads.

I do really empathise with your fears about the donor getting fed up. Despite us knowing on the one hand that he and his wife were really supportive, our true fears always came out - when I got a text in the hour before we were due there, we both jumped, fearing it would be a change of mind. We also kept reassuring them that they could pull out, silently hoping that wouldn't happen, cos it was so important they both felt good about it.

I don't know that we did anything special for it to work, I'm sure that its all down to luck in the end (I've had people saying - you must have been less stressed than DP - absolute rubbish, I was on internet everyday driving myself mad - don't believe in the stress thing making it harder. Wish there was a magic trick, but someone would have found it. Do try the sprouting seeds though (good with grated carrot, cheese, celery etc.), cos a friend recommended it who had had difficulty ttc. Look after yourselves
What a long post!
Katy

hester · 08/12/2004 18:09

Katy/feelingvlucky, that's a lovely story; thanks so much for sharing it. If you don't mind me asking, how did you find your donor? Was he already a friend?

And thanks for the sprouting seeds tip - I hadn't come across that one, but will definitely be eating them now Smile

jingleballs · 08/12/2004 18:23

oh er, sorry hester!, (er, sorry my fault for assuming, u know what they say about assumin...... it's the mother of all Fu%^ ups!) :o he he , don't worry hon, i'm not bothered by it.

jingleballs · 08/12/2004 18:26

my god girls, I thought I had it hard, i'm never gonna moan again about TTC after reading FVL's post.

(well ok then, maybe just a little!)

motherinfestivemood · 08/12/2004 18:47

Hester Grin

She's a total babe, you know
Grin Grin

RudyDudy · 08/12/2004 19:07

thanks (as ever Grin) for the info hester - now I'm more confused than ever and absolutely no idea whether we BD'd anywhere near the right time but hey ho - on with the waiting game....

can't chat tonight - off to Bridget Jones. No doubt catch up tomorrow.

oopsanta · 08/12/2004 19:08

I just dropped in to see what was going on here.
WOW some stories. I'm kindof impressed with the whole home insem thing- I'm so glad it has wprked for you feelingvlucky. good for you!
Hester, can't imagine it will shock anyone here, I do believe that most people on this site are guardian readers, so will be cool.
WHat a bunch of pople, mn is great, there's the 17yr old who is worried about being too young for everyone else, and the 40yr olds all of human life is here.
Warms me up oon a cold day to think that we can all get on so well.
Good luck to all this month- I'm still pg I think and very very tired.

SweetFudge · 08/12/2004 19:10

I second that! Smile

SweetFudge · 08/12/2004 19:11

About Hester, I mean.

jeddah · 08/12/2004 19:21

Bloody hell hester! you have finally come out! you brave sister!

jingleballs · 08/12/2004 19:24

Jeddah how did u get on?

jeddah · 08/12/2004 19:30

Jingleballs! thanks for the thought!

Went for 2nd swimmers test! and it was same as th first....slightly down on motility!

I demanded clomid and she said that GPs do not prescribe it (its not safe practise) a gynae must do that after we have been checked out for tube probs etc etc etc.....

So I told her to refer us.....I was then a bit happier as she gave me the Gynae'secretary's number in the LGI (LEEDS GENERAL INFIRMARY) for me to have a chat to her.......me working in the profession and all that.....about the only bloody perk I ever would have had, after working for the NHS for 20yrs! (except a break to KSA for some dosh!)

I also demanded our results print outs all my hormones and dh swimmers........she reluctantly gave them to me!!!!!!!! bloody state of her...with 2 lovely boys and me despirate at 41!!!!

so that is that....don't know how I feel relieved for referral!.....or upset as something wrong??????

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