Tactical seduction and POAS addicts

[FfayeN]

Hi ladies. I have started to feel a little overwhelmed with our usual thread and we are at different stages of our journeys now. Please feel free to leave this one if you don't feel the same but I feel so invested in your journeys and don't want to miss any news. Hoping this is ok, I don't think you can do DM as a group?
Hope you are all doing well and if there's anyone I've missed from the usual bunch feel free to add 😘😘😘

@MrsCristianoX @TheBirdintheCave @Indianna2006 @theblueflowers @bunnykins123 @LuckyMoonstone @mummatara

@FfayeN oh lovely I'm so so sorry. It's so cruel to have another one. I hope u can get sorted this week one way or another. Will the NHS do any tests for u? Xx

@FfayeN I'm so so sorry, you do not deserve this at all xx

@Indianna2006
This is no.4
First was CP
Second natural at 9 weeks, stopped growing around 7 (then I developed hashimotos as a result)
These last two MMC and stopped at 8.5 weeks.

We've had all the normal tests so genetic profiles are clear, all my bloods and thrombosis tests are negative, nothing to explain other that no.3 had Trisomy 15. I did test +ve for endometrisis and took a cycle of Doxycycline which should have treated that, but not been tested since. We were hoping it was just bad luck and this one would be a goer.
Hubby did do a sperm sample, but we cancelled the consultation for the results as we fell pregnant. So I think we will rebook as it's within the year to get those results.
@calimc83 the doctor today suggested getting a BV and thrush test, as although I have no symptoms it could cause MC. I think it's a little unlikely but calling the GP tomorrow. The foetus will be sent off again to check for any abnormalities. xx

@bunnykins123 thank you. Where did you go for testing? Am I right in thinking they're not suggesting any treatment for it?
I was previously looking at CRP and Nova fertility clinics xx

@FfayeN I guess as they’re sending this one off will you will find out if it has a trisomy or not. An if it’s clear for a trisomy than does appear to be something else going on.
sorry. I hope you find your answers.
good idea about BV and thrush though. Worth just checking it as ruling anything simple and easy out first.

you can get pregnant though clearly. So his sperm sample will likely be fine in the normal parameters. Think DNA fragmentation is a seperate test. A men can have normal sperm parameters. But terrible DNA fragmentation. Likely it corresponds with also abnormal parameters but not always.

it’s such a minefield. Have you been under a Tommys clinic? Or is there a local one you can contact? As I always hear ppl say their support is very good through them clinics.

@Indianna2006 yeah exactly. If it has then we will need to go down the IVF and PGT-A testing route if I've got that right. However, the results take so long to come back it's a worry, though I would imagine if our cytokine/genetic testing was clear that would be unlikely?! It's so difficult to know the answers.
I'm going to call my gyno tomorrow to see if she has any advice. I'm just keen to get trying again ASAP.
I was with Coventry Tommys, but withdrew as I didn't want to do the trial. Age is not on my side now! Xx

@FfayeN After my 3rd miscarriage, my GP registered for me to have a consultation with the RMC at my local trust hospital (which so happens to be Dr Shehata's NHS borough). I was fortunate as my bloods included NK cells as this is his specialist area but from speaking to other women on other forums, this is not offered in general for NHS RMC blood panel. Which is awful that it's a postcode lottery! Before I had my tests, I was about to go to his private clinic as I live very close. Like you say the costs are eye watering (they outline this in their welcome email to you) which is why I stuck with NHS only. Anyhoo - results came back as high NK cells which was hardly surprising. All else fine. I've paid for a hyfosy and hysteroscopy too which have all been fine. DH has done fragmentation test today. I've gone from conceiving easily to nothing so kinda makes sense. I'm on hydroxychloroquine which is basically the Trump drug that fights off covid 😂 I will be put on prednisolone once I have a bfp. If you go private you will get the lot thrown at you which can end up £££ per cycle and you kinda have to take what he advises. So I've not spent anything on my high NK cells and I'm on a couple of other forums where women are getting pregnant and having successful pregnancies so his protocol defo works. It's a big decision as the cost to get tested is quite high. I've tackled this by eliminating things it can be, my last test is DNA fragmentation which I have a feeling will be high. If that's the case, it's over to IVF as my clinic is sister to Dr S and does immunology. Sorry that's a wordy message... probably missed stuff so ask away if you have any questions!

@FfayeN what was the trial at Coventry they were doing? Are you 36 Hun? That’s a stab in the dark but remember perhaps vaguely 🙈

hmm I’m not entirely sure. Perhaps ask your Gyno about that tomorrow and see if they know. Although I thought the cytokine and genetic testing was to ascertain whether either of you are a carrier of like a particular gene which can cause issues etc. rather than individually checking DHs own sperm where it again has its own DNA & integrity.
I presume if you were both clear for genetic testing it meant you’re not carriers of any faulty major gene. But doesn’t mean individual sperm and eggs don’t have faulty genes. Of course. Cos we all have that. The coding goes wrong etc. from heat and illness.

so I’m not sure if it’s the same..but again I don’t actually know. Deff a question for someone. And if it isn’t the same. Then perhaps something which needs testing to eliminate him totally out of the equation as an issue I guess?

I certainly think IVF and ICSI can by pass some of them issues yes as like you say PGT testing. An they somehow wash the sperm and presume therefore good ones then get extracted. Or best of best of what they have. Which is all you can hope for.

but of course it is is an immunity thing. Then you perhaps don’t need that. But other treatment.

@bunnykins123 glad he’s had that done now! Like you say one thing ticked off and then you know either way. Is it or is it not an issue. Just elimination like you said.

@bunnykins123 no that's really helpful thank you.
I have read that he offers more at the private clinic as you say, so it'll be hard to turn things down if I don't think I need them, but my purse is only so deep. I also think they give the pred every cycle rather than just from BFP which does worry me too.
If DH frag is normal, what do you think has caused the issue of not being able to conceive? I've seen a few on Dr S forum that suspect it's the monthly pred but with no evidence that's the case. I just worry we'll end up not conceiving and adding to the problem. My AMH is already at rock bottom.
Sorry if that doesn't make sense...heads all over the place 🤯 xx

@Indianna2006 it was the Endometrisis trial (inflammation or infection of the uterus) which I tested positive for.
Yes I'm 36, almost 37 but AMH is already really low so stimulated cycles will be a no go I think.
Yeah it may be worth getting DH frag tested, which I have just read is about £500, he does have two healthy children already though, so unless it can change over time? No idea.
It's hard because the IVF clinics near to be don't offer immunity profiles and treatment, and I wouldn't be able to afford both clinics without going to family for help. It's all pretty damn depressing xx

@bunnykins123 Has Dr S done your DH DNA frag test or have you gone elsewhere for that? Xx

@FfayeN i think DNA fragmentation can change yes. Anything fertility wise can change I think for women or mean. Hence lots of secondary infertility. Ageing lifestyle factor. Just unknown tbh sometimes.

it’s so unfair that if it’s not just simple and works. It’s such an unknown an costs the earth to find an answer or get a baby which some get for free on a whoops and then don’t even want 😞 I’ve always thought what a fucked up process ttc is.

it’s a mix of needing an answer. A not being able to keep going just hoping isn’t it. Likelihood you try again use the fertilily. Hopefully you’d fall quick again. In hoped eventually one sticks. But that’s a lot of heartache to keep doing for you and partner. you almost need an answer as to why don’t you which sounds expensive to find.

where are you based compared to @bunnykins123. Could you perhaps get receded via to GP to where she went for more bloods again so they do the NK testinfgunder the nhs. Cos under nhs guidelines you are allowed to ask to be referred to anywhere you want. A the dr can request it. As I did it for another health problem another time and went way out of my local area but on nhs.
perhaps worth an idea or an ask?

@Indianna2006 it's all of those things 🥺.
I'm in Essex, I'm not sure I can get referred anywhere, or what the wait time would be. I'm fed up of the delay now. Although his clinic would potentially be closer to me than Coventry was. x

You have to right to be referred to wherever you request. Request it, see what the wait is. Get the NK cell test check for free on nhs like @bunnykins123 and continue to try in the mean time unless you feel you can’t? An that’s too much
think you can only get dna frag done privately tho I believe. Note sure nhs does that does it @bunnykins123 ??

I don’t know a huge deal about it all. Just what I’ve read and heard from others going through it. So I’m prob not helpful at all 🙈😞

@FfayeN no way I'm Essex too 🙊 it makes me so cross that it costs so much money when something like this should be free or at least affordable for people

@FfayeN @mummatara Im in suffolk so county next to you guys

@Indianna2006 oh I love Suffolk ❤️ I don't know why I always imagine everyone lives far away 😂

@FfayeN so my understanding is Dr S is very specific about what meds you can vs can't take. So basically you can't 'opt out' otherwise there is a risk it won't work or miscarry again. I can understand this approach however, you are right - some ladies feel that intripids make them feel awful and pred prevents them from conceiving. What was your AMH again? Mine is low-ish too and not sure if stimulating the ol' follies will just churn out more poor quality ones. So for me, if DNA frag is normal, then it's absolutely my age / NK cells. I suspect it's a combination of all 3. @Indianna2006 is completely right about requesting a referral to another borough. My referral took ages to come through as lots of women refer themselves to my borough for this reason. It took 8 months from referral to answers though which is a long time. Much longer than others who went through RMC in other boroughs. No, mine was done a IVF clinic but specialises in immunology, all my tests have been there so far. So what I'll get is IVF plus all the Dr S protocol. If you're in Essex, you'd need to get to Surrey for the tests - that's not bad at all! I travel to and from London every day, lots of regular trains etc!

@Indianna2006 no you're very helpful and you give the push in exactly the right direction! I will give it a go and see where it takes me.
In the mean time I can but progress privately and hope one comes before the other!

@mummatara @Indianna2006 how lovely you're so close!!! Yeah me too, I think because @MrsCristianoX is Northern Ireland I assumed I was the only one down these parts 🤣🤣.

Sorry I've hijacked this thread this afternoon, but just so you know it's done the world of good to get some advice and talk it out. It means a lot 😘 xxx

@Indianna2006 sadly, that's one of the advanced tests that's the NHS don't offer. So that's made me £500 poorer today!! But my consultant said it's better to have all the extensive tests rather than basic ones as it gives them a much better picture of what's going on (makes sense really!)

@FfayeN talking helps. I found these forums invaluable! I got way more information on here than anything elsewhere, plus it makes you equipped in knowing where to go and what steps to take nexts (I'm very much a planner!)

@FfayeN that's def what we are here for no hijacking we all have days when we need to chat it out and we all totally get it it helps to talk things through xxx

@bunnykins123 thanks lovely. 8 months is a long time to wait for me. Especially as I was on hold for 5 months this year for the other test results. A year ago it was 0.36 😫.
I'll have to see if there are any clinics locally that specialise in immunology, I know my clinic does some of it, but their intralipids are even more expensive than Dr S's privately.
It feels like I've got to have a number of consultations (all at about £300 each) to find what's best to go for. However, if it gets us there it'll be worth it.
I do work in London though so wouldn't be terrible for his private clinic x

@mummatara I'm in West Sussex so a bit further away! 😅