Is this a line?

[MissParis]

It’s stronger in real life tho still very faint. According to Flo (which isn’t 100 percent accurate obviously) I’m 12dpo 3/4 days til period. Had loads of things happen this month that have been out of the ordinary for my cycle. Sorry for bombardment of pics I’m scared to death and couldn’t get it to look like it does in real life. Tho still faint in real life. Did with fmu but still early to test I think as haven’t missed period. I don’t know. Anyway does anyone else see a line? Can anyone please do that messing with the contrast thing you guys are so good at for me please? Thanks in advance

@MissParis hope you're okay and keep us updated !

@OrlandointheWilderness

made me tear up again. The part about a good home and fill it with good things.

Hes started again. The woman asked me last night when he went god knows where and locked me in, if he’s possibly got a listening device which I had considered myself. Now he’s going on about hearing me say “gaslighting” on the phone. I asked him how could you possibly have heard that I have only made one phone call when you were here and it was nothing to do with gaslighting. And he said he heard it. And it’s all in my head. And cos I laugh when he says nasty things disguised as faux concern or something he says how can you be scared of me if I’m an abuser if you’re laughing.

Noone mentioned abuse to him. Also I asked him where that bar came from and despite the many MANY kick offs when I have “irony laughed” or defence mechanism laughed, this time he laughed and said it was there the whole time. I’m sure it wasn’t.

Hes saying it’s all in my head. He does nice nice nice then nasty. If I don’t work to his time frame.

I’ll reply later he’s mithering me mister nice guy routine. Cos I’m off on the motorbike to get my own stuff and he wants to control how I get my things and how independent I am. Ffs.

He’s fucked off for a minute. He told me he spent the last of his money on ten pack of cigarettes. The fucking idiot. Does he not know that you can’t buy those anymore? Does he think I’m stupid? 😂🤦‍♀️

Make sure you don't stay logged in on mumsnet lovely. Take care

@MissParis sorry I only found this thread scrolling through one of the topics. I wanted to see if you've managed to get away and are you safe now? Take care ❤

Hes not in work again. He was meant to be all week. Now I can’t ring the women’s aid again to log what’s happening. Like I did last night when he went not to work but out somewhere

Also I was typing to you and he tried to sneak behind me to see what it was. I moved my phone and I never do that with him. So he can’t see. So now he’s not working again. Bastard. I went out and purposely bought my first baby item like I wanted to in Aldi the other day and he wouldn’t allow it even with my own money. I mean he couldn’t stop me but I can’t handle the moods and how he will throw it in my face later. So I bought a lovely set this afternoon from Tesco ❤️

Do you want to see it?

@Releasethehoundss

not yet. I need to be able to ring woman’s aid/ domestic violence helpline thing to get a refuge it isn’t easy I can’t call when he’s here. They don’t allow it anyway and rightly so. And also they said ring from 10am for the best chance of a refuge but again he works nights so he’s home at 10am.

I asked him how did you hear this mysterious “gaslighting” I was supposedly talking about through the wall when I never said it (not with him here anyway) and he said it wasn’t through the wall it was by the door. So he was standing listening to me on the phone? He said no he was walking from the kitchen and I thought well the only phone conversation I have had have been me whispering and I didn’t hear him walking from or to the kitchen I would have heard and even if he was how would you just happen to catch that particular word whispered at the other end of the room to the door if you’re just passing? I think he has some recording or something. I don’t know. Or he’s remembered the only abuse term he knows and is making guesses

Babies first thing ❤️ And I’m making a baby book.

Comes with matching tiny pants 😍

@MissParis I'd love to see it! I am very happy for your first baby.
I do not want to dampen your excitement in any way shape or form but I do want to gently remind you that controlling and abusive men can and do escalate quickly. I dread him doing something vicious to you if he feels like you're undermining him on purpose. Abusive men can be very unpredictable. Is there anyone locally who can get in touch with women's aid on your behalf? Also, you could make another thread right now, using a different user name, and use that one to post random baby topics and questions, that way if he demands to see what you're writing (or gets a wild hair up his ass and logs on to look for you), you can show him and all he will see is something lame like 'does anyone hope their baby has dark hair' or talking about early preg symptoms, etc. You can always keep this one open and come back and chat to us about your safety progress on this one. Do telk us if you make another thread under another name, so we can contribute to comments on that thread and he won't be suspicious. I knkw this seems like alot but domestic violence is extremely dangerous during pregnancy.
Aside from that, we are all very excited for you, I know you've had a long hard journey to motherhood and never thought it would happen for you!

It’s very hard I have to say to not wind him up. He has been stupid and given me so many buttons, he underestimated me for sure. I’m the most loving and nurturing person. But I’m also the most nasty and cruel of people in instances like this at least. But alas I have my baby to think of. He’s not worth it. I could reduce him to tears by just a few words and a laugh. Make him feel like shit. Less of a man. So easily. Like he does to me. But again. Baby. He’s not worth it

@Releasethehoundss

Please don’t worry about dampened excitement. My baby safe is more important than my ruined excitement which is his fault not yours for giving amazing advice!
I will do what you said that’s a really good idea. I’m not by any means underestimating this man. Or what could happen. But the lady at the shelter/womens aid/national domestic violence helpline (I don’t know which it is I think the latter) said to act normal. So that means I can’t go all doe eyed and compliant neither can I go nuclear. I have to be the same fiesty but not too far with it, person I have been so far. So as not to let him onto anything

These men! Jesus.

@MissParis you are correct, he is absolutely not worth it. When he's in a good mood the next time, could you ask him to run and get you something from the store, then call women's aid?

I did change all my passwords and stuff now on my phone. Face recognition and password required so. He can’t sneak on it now x

@Releasethehoundss

Well whenever he nips anywhere, either he gets me to go with him or he’s so fast. I can’t think what I could ask him? The line is usually a while wait, and then I get so anxious when he comes back like last night he came back when I was on the phone to them and I just said he’s here he’s here he’s here I have to go and I hung up. And nearly had a panic attack. He’s sneaky as hell. If he caught me doing that I’m fucked then I think. Can I do a Claire’s law check? Oh that reminds me today- he was going on about how I make it up in my head that he’s abusive (literally never said that to him especially since the warning from the helpline lady) and that he’s had loads of exes and they never said he was abusive. Neither did I. To his face. That makes me wonder why he would say that. X

I told the lady at Tesco a little bit and my hands were shaking and she held my hand and was so sweet

@MissParis I am very glad you're staying calm and you are right not to raise suspicions. We're all thinking of you and keeping our fingers crossed they can get you out of there safely so you can have a beautiful pregnancy and baby.
I did look at the photos you posted and those are so cute. We haven't started buying anything yet because, to be honest, we've got lots of kids already 😂 and have all the baby gear (except car seat, those expire) so we've just decided to let friends and family pick out little neutral things (we're not learning the sex) and we'll buy what we want for him/her after they get here! But its still exciting to shop, isn't it! And perhaps you buying things will help lull him into thinking you're sticking around permanently, so that's probably a good thing.

@MissParis yes, of course the abuse is in your head. He cannot he the problem because then he'd know what a POS he is.. I know this sounds awful, but if you went to a&e would he insist on going with you? It could be for anything, tell him you need to go because its new protocol for covid testing or something... And do it at a time when you were told you'd need to call women's aid, I think you said midmorning? Here the hospitals aren't allowing anyone except patients in and children with one parent only...

@Releasethehoundss

that made me laugh 😂 Lots already I suppose the fun has worn off and it’s more like ffs baby, I love you- but more money now? Haha.
Hes sneaking about trying to be nice again now. Do I want to log onto his Netflix 🥴🙄 erm no. There’s food in the kitchen I put it on a plate if you get hungry. (The food I said more than once I didn’t want cos he will moan if I waste it that’s another thing, waste. It makes me sick before I even eat Incase I don’t finish) and then said I’m nipping out won’t be long.

The nipping out I wonder. One- is he trying to make me feel insecure and worried or whatever.

Is he trying to nip out then catch me on the phone like he almost did last night.

Or does he have a recording thing here and wants to know if I’ll be straight on the phone to them and see what I say?

The helpline lady asked if he possibly has recording devices. It wouldn’t shock me in the slightest. So I’m not ringing now.

Let him play chess on his own. He’s not catching me out. Bastard.

Sorry im not replying to everything/ doing everything right now. Im scatty in my head with all this

@Releasethehoundss

Good question. Fuck me he just came back.

Just had a read through your thread! Massive congratulations on your pregnancy 🥰 it's such a wonderful thing isn't it, I'm almost 8 weeks. I also totally admire your strength to get away from this man and raise your baby in a happy and abusive free home, you absolutely can do this! I wish you well and hope you can get into a refuge asap! X x

He couldn’t have got down and into the car and start the car and go somewhere and then come back and park and come back up in that time. Check the times I said he left and when he came back above. That was some weird test. He came straight in asking if I want a tea. Ffs fuck OFF. Apparently the baby outfit he didn’t want is cute. Bastard. Oh another reminder of the food in the kitchen. And about two hours ago he was all this isn’t working and I said no it’s not. And I clearly didn’t give a fuck. Cos I don’t. And now he’s all nicey nicey I want this to work. God isn’t it mad when you actually see it? Like I couldn’t give a rats ass what he thinks or feels about our “relationship” cos it’s done. He just doesn’t know. So I kind of get to observe what I have been through more than once and lost my mum to (suicide, stepdad etc) it’s crazy to actually see it.

i just said stop treating me like shit then. He said I don’t treat you like shit. But I’m sorry for how I am. What the fuck? Kept asking me if I wanted tea and he knows I want SPACE. So I snapped and said fine make a tea then. He kept saying you want space don’t you? Do you want space?
YES FOR FUCKS SAKE I TOLD YOU A MILLION TIMES

@MissParis I don't trust him. Sorry. Don't touch the food. Y'all will have to forgive me. I am conditioned to be wary of people like him, given what I've seen in my work... He could have put something in that... I know I'm crazy y'all but please make your own meals and drinks etc... If he kicks up a fuss tell him to read a pregnancy book, you cannot control what you want and don't even pregnant.