MC avengers, still eating cake, 2008 WILL BE OUR YEAR!

[ronshar]

Hey ladies I have been brave and started new thread.
Aquababe will not have to look at her thread opener again.

so first af arrived today after last mth's mc. mixed bag of emotions here - weepy but glad at least it's here o time (29 days post mc) and can start to ttc. though thought of ttc right now just strikes fear in heart. can i withstand the emotional trauma?? should i wait for a few more mths?

i have lost track a bit - anyone else ttcing after first af after mc?

clairepo sorry to hear your story. it's really hard isn't it? wish could wave a wand and make it all better, but some days/weeks are better than others.

mistletrush what is mp? hope you feel better anyway x.

Bunny I've been TTC since 2 weeks after my ERPC, my GP told me I didn't have to wait, at the moment i'm frantically taking temperate and doing OPK's til they come out my ears! I'm on CD14 but no sign of OV yet, didn't really obsess before m/c although we had been TTC for 2 years but there is no stopping me now! I felt much the same when AF arrived, sad but glad that I could get on with things and sort out where I was with my cycle, hope you feel better soon.
I am just hoping that if and when (fingers crossed) we get pg again that if I was to m/c for a 2nd time that it's like when you get your heart broken it's never as bad the 2nd time (God I hope I'm not being niaive?)
Have some chocolate and relax x

Mollie take heart, for some women its back to normal straight away for some its longer. Have you had a -ve pg test yet? They say maybe ov 14 days after your hcg levels return to zero. But I have no idea how reliable that info is and whether it only applies if you had regular cycles before.

Bunny mp is molar pregnancy. I won't post a link but a google will explain.

Mistle how long ago was MP?

Ronshar when you say it is like a bad smell that only you can smell, you are bang on.

Everyone else seems forget really quickly, and you're just left sitting there feeling like crap. I have a lot of friends who are due soon, and I'm happy for them but also madly jealous. I ovulated for the first time since the mc last weekend but DH refused to do the deed, as he said it was 'too clinical and calculated'. I don't think think he realises the depth of my hurt, or how it can actually be quite hard to get pg. He has started a new job and is very involved in it and I want to support him, but I wish someone would support me.

Now that all my friends have said 'there there, you poor thing', they seem to think I'll forget about it and just get over it, but it doesn't work like that does it? Whilst I feel better than I did, I still feel sad a lot of the time and am just putting on a brave face.

Basically I am just longing to be pg and have a child.

It is so nice to be around women who understand.

Hackney big hugs for you. Hopefully DH just needs some time to get over things and for his job to calm down. I hope he comes round.

As to the feeling of just wanting to be pregnant again that was a longing that I had for the few months after my mc, now replaced with a weary resignation and lack of belief that this month will be our month. It's all just so cruel.

Claire yes I did get a -ve pg test which I did over a week ago now, should have first OV any day now.
Hackney - posted on waiting room thread last night as I have problems with DH too, we had a huge row about him being selfish and lazy that turned into him telling me that he thinks I'm not ready to get pg again emotionally and that he feels pressured to "give" me a baby, what a cheek! To say I was angry and upset was an understatement! Men!! Shall we bang our two dh's heads together? Let's hope they realise the error of their ways shortly! I know what you mean about people think that everything is fine once the initial moment has passed, I start worrying that I'm being over sensitive and try analyising everything when I'm upset instead of just letting it happen

I decided that the best course of action would be not to tell DH when I ov'd. It would only put him off his strude. I firmly believe that we dont need to tell them the ins and out of our cycles. Most men are quite happy to remain in the dark as that way we cant blame them if it doesnt work!! The presuure for them to perform must be huge, I know it is a simple job really but if they are under pressure then it must affect the quality of the little boys.
Besides which my DH always looks a little shocked when I tell him but at least he has stopped asking "How did that happen"

What annoys me is that before the m/c it was him that kept using BD as an excuse to get it all the time!! Now "he's under pressure" somethings not right somewhere! But your right Ronshar, it will be all hush hush about my cycle now although he will know just before AF due as I'm usually evil

Hi all, not at work on a Friday, so only managing to log on now (mil has had meeting nearby so is staying so ds has shunned me )

Molar pregnancy was in 2002, so quite a long time ago now. However, when I've had mc the last 2 autumns, it still comes back to haunt as my HCG levels take a long time to get back to normal (mp started with mc and d&c) so have added angst on top of the just mc angst ie what on earth will I do with a very active and bouncy nearly 3yo ds if I have to have treatment for that again (last time off work for 6mo - treatment just floored me). Might be why I've managed to get ref to the recurrent mc unit after only 2mc in a row, rather than the 3 that some talk of - although did have one prior to ds so have had 3 in all.

Re 'performance' - this is a bit of an issue in our household too - although after the 2nd mc autumn06, dh seemed to be very effectively using the rhythm method to ensure that there was no chance of a bfp - I think the thought of me going through treatment again was scary for him too. Makes me very and a bit when approach af and know for sure that there is absolutely no point in even wondering about the possibility...

this af is quite strange... TMI alert so skip the next bit if you are not in the mood. but this is the first time it has happened to me. was at work and talking away to colleague when suddenly af gush that was so watery it soaked right through everything down tights etc (thank god wearing all black so nothing could be seen) had to scurry discreetly to the loo. what is going on?! has anyone had this happen. it's happened a few more times since i have been home but seems to have stopped.

this has made dh say that maybe we shouldnt ttc for a good few mths until af becomes normal again. i am of mixed feelings. on the one hand I WANT A BABY NOW! but on the other hand i am sick of feeling pregnant, nauseous, tired, worrying about mc, mc'ing, bding, worring about getting pregnant, about not being pregnant about mcing if pregnant. just sick sick sick of it all. it hasnt stopped since sept 07 when i fell pregnant with first mc.

sorry for rant.

hackney sorry to hear about dh. that's prob his way of dealing with the loss. my dh went through a funny phase too, but guys tend to bottle it all up. i have 2 friends who were pregnant with me and now have their babies. it is very hard when i meet up with them and they do think i have now got over my mc. i clearly havent!!

mollie i have never used ov sticks - do they work? i will have to decide over the next week whether to try or not. i am scared!

with the 2 mc's we bd'd very clinically when we knew i was ov. with my dd - dh didnt know when i was ov even though we decided to try. i just sashayed up in some lingerie and hey presto dd was created - seemed more natural that way.

Only read on if you're prepared...

Only similar experience was when I knew I was definitely not 'right' after 1st mc and kept on going to the Doctor and them saying 'it will get back to normal soon' without doing any more - on and off would have bleed that would go through everything inc maxi towels in about 10mins. But never had significant watery af.

Hope it stops soon

Bunny - not experienced this, but it if it's not the norm I'd get back to the GP pronto, just to put your mind at rest hun. With regard to the OPK's I bought some before m/c and could never pinpoint my OV although I only did it half heartedly. Had first AF 2 wks ago after ERPC and from day 9 have been religiously testing, had first +ve today so locking dh in the house
He's quite up for it IYKWIM so since our huge bust up he must feel less "pressured"
The only thing I'm worrying about is that the ebay ones come with these early pg tests and I just know I'm gonna want to do those too! Can I face the disappointment??
I hope you feel better after your rant though, only you can decide if you want to stop ttc for a while, maybe just let nature take it's course, but you know it will always be in the back of your mind each month, it's frustrating as hell so feel free to come and moan to us all

Wondered if I could join??

Has a MC about 5 weeks ago now. Just got AF (although I was secretly hoping to be able to get pregnant in between although probably not the best idea). Any know if cycles get back to normal straight away after MC or if I shoul duse ovulation sticks to get a better idea.

I'm so broody - its crazy.

Hi Fandango - can't help re cycles - mine don't particularly, but some other people's seem to. I think it depends in each circumstance...

Probably best to have at least 1 af after mc - easier for dating for one thing!

Best of luck

Hello everybody, hope you're all OK and sorry to hear that new faces have had to join us. However, this is a lovely supportive thread and hopefully you'll get the comfort you need from it.
I have some news of my own - BFP yesterday morning! I still can't believe it and it's very early days so I'm just going to take it one step at a time at the moment. But very thrilled (and very scared!) all the same.
Mollie Glad you made up with DH in time for the +ve OPK and hope you've been doing lots of BD'ing over the weekend!
Cece How are you doing?
Hope everybody else is OK xx

Cricri that's great news. Really pleased for you, big up those sticky thoughts!

Ronshar you are right, I'm just not going to say anything next time.

Hello Fandango. I think AF itself can be different to normal, ie heavier, lighter, longer etc. but don't know about whether it is more likely to be irregular or not. I am defintely paying more attention to mine from now on, if only to try and work out ovulation dates etc.

Good luck with the TTC, the desire to be pg again is overwhelming isn't it. I'm concentrating on keeping busy at work and seeing friends - making the most of an independent life before (hopefully) a little one arrives. xx

Wonderful news cricri, many congratulations and healthy thoughts.

CriCri - HOORAY!!!!!! Congratulations and sticky thoughts hun
Fandango - sorry you had to join us, but welcome. With regard to your cycles still waiting to find out , had first AF approx 4 wks after ERPC, had +ve OPK this weekend so so far so good! Are you able to track your cycles normally?
Hi to everyone else, hope you had a good weekend? Finally released dh after a whole weekend of BD'ing, bless he's going back to work for a rest

cricri - what lovely news

Thanks for the congrats everybody. I know how hard it is reading about BFPs on here when it's something you so desperately want for yourself. I really hope it happens for you all very soon.
Mollie Hopefully the weekend of BD'ing has done the trick!

Hello, another new name to add to the list.

Had my 2nd mc since DS who is now 2.7yrs. We've been TTC for exactly 12 months now, and 2 pgs down the line, this is not where I thought I would be a year ago. All in all this is mc no 4, as I had 2 before DS.

MC no2 started 2 weeks ago and I actaully miscarried 36 hours or so after the bleeding started. I was 9 weeks.

My bleeding has stopped. I was lucky (!) in that my mc was complete so I didn't have to go into theatre, and so am waiting for either the urge to start BDing again or for AF to arrive.

I have a fair amount of guilt to deal with. I was told to take the low dose aspirin with DS's pregnancy which I did religiously and well, who knows if it worked but a lovely little boy arrived. Can you believe that with this last one, I completely forgot all about the aspirin? I am now completely blaming myself for being such an air head. I only rememebered when my GP went through my notes with me. What a stupid stupid thing to do. Guilt does not a happy bunny make.

Nice to meet you all, and forgive me for off loading this on you.

Hi LadyHelen - sorry you have had to join us, 4 m/c's what a time you've had!
I am sure that you are beating yourself up for nothing about the aspirin, but we all like to have a reason and blaming ourselves is the easy option isn't it? Still I will wish you luck for your ttc, feel free to rant and moan as much as you like (we all do!) it makes you feel so much better.

Hiya i have just found this site, we lost our little angel last january (07) and only now coming to terms with it

Welcome ladyhelen and NuttyPixie sorry you have had to join but you're in the right place, its a lovely supportive thread.

yaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyy cricri very happy for you. congrats. it gives me hope to hear of BFPs after mcs! wishing you an uneventful pg!

thank you mistlethrush for sharing the TMI info. it confirmed that i shouldnt rush to the dr as from past exerience, unless it is very serious that they probably cant do much. things have settled down i drank lots of raspberry leaf tea which seemed to regulate the flow tho i am not sure whether that is my imagination.

fandango, Ladyhelen and nuttypixie sad welcome to both and i hope you find some support and comfort here. it has kept me sane to have an outlet when most people in RL dont know what's going on. ladies here are so lovely.

mollie hee hee glad to hear that you had a fun weekend toes and fingers crossed for you. i think you can test as early as 10 days dpo but i found with myself i never got a +ve until 1 day after i have missed my af.

hello everyone else and hands out big platter of chocolate brownies.