Fertility Appointments and Beyond.... the next chapter

[Tinkerbell098]

I have created a new thread as the previous one is about to fill up. I've tagged some of us here, but apologies if I have missed anyone.

The thread is for anyone who has started/ about to start fertility investigations or treatment. Come join us, we are a lovely bunch :)

@tillybabs
@thislittlebird
@kay00
@jeaniej
@PurpleUnicorn01
@paintfairy
@dogmam
@flutterby8
@Ughmaybenot
@dancingfairydreams
@beckycarlos
@jkjellyhead
@juno231
@decaffe
@bumble44
@BritinNZ
@tinkerbell098
@pinkginpls
@thedaydreambelievers
@everymumday
@wanderlust16
@lori23ttc
@Gracie2021
@Sofasogood1
@99pctpractice
@magnoliasinbloom

@Tinkerbell098 that is so frustrating. When are you expecting them to ring you? X

@Tinkerbell098 crap, that really sucks.
Had you done your baselines scans already? I feel like they should have mentioned this to you.

@Hoping43 really sorry about your letrozole cycle 😶

Mini update from me. OH has his scan today to check his varicocele, then we have a follow up appt with Dr Ramsay on the 5th of Sept to decide next steps. Most likely varicocele surgery, which will cost £6k.
The IVF doc from my clinic called me last week to check in on me and we talked through my OH's stuff. She thinks I should just crack on and try ICSI before spending money on him. She doesn't really rate the DNA frag stuff & thinks because I got pregnant, I should be more hopeful that it could work 🤷🏻 I just don't want another MC or to have virtually no embryos, so I'm a bit nervous of jumping in.

Yesterday out of the blue, I got a call from the reverend at my hospital who said they have my babies remains and if I wanted to do a little service for them.
I was really caught off guard. I thought most of the baby passed at home, so assumed that because they hadn't contacted me in months, that they only had removed blood in my D&C. They also told me that if I didn't hear from them within 3 weeks of the miscarriage, to assume they didn't find anything.
He said, they're just really behind in testing remains, which is why it took 4 months. He was really apologetic.
I said I'd need a day to think about it because I wasn't prepared for the call. I think we will do the service.
What a phonecall 😳!

Hi all. I've posted on this thread before but change names all the time and am not good at updating!

I don't know if this is helpful for anyone doing NHS IVF but wanted to share.

My London borough CCG offered me one round of IVF and a fresh and frozen cycle. After my first round I was told other London boroughs offer more so I swapped to one that offers three. All I had to do was swap my GP to one in that borough - it goes off GP address not your home address. It took 48 hours to register online and my consultant updated the address at the hospital. I've managed to squeeze in the second one before I hit my 40th which is in about two months. 40 is the cut off. I doubt I'll be able to get a third in now but I'm going to ask. Had two eggs collected yesterday and am disappointed. Waiting on the fertilisation call today.

As I was advised - the CCG funding system is so unfair. Make it work in your favour.

@jeaniej my DP had the varicocele operation - but it was only £1,200 not £6,000. Just outside London in bucks so worth shopping around. Hugely improved morphology and all that though we never tested DNA fragmentation again. We probably should. If I can remember the hospital and doctor name I'll pm you.

Had my call. No fertilisation. This journey is fucking awful isnt it!

@jeaniej I'm sorry, that is a really difficult phonecall, especially as you're not expecting it.

@beyondshit sorry to read about your round x

@JeanieJ gosh, to get that kind of a call out of the blue. Glad they gave you some time to think about it and that's great to have the option to do a service for your little one if you want to. It's terrible how disorganised the system is though. 3 weeks vs 4 months.....

So difficult to know who's viewpoint to go with. My clinic also don't put much weight on the sperm dna fragmentation and weren't fussed about my oh taking the test. But then there are lots of anecdotal stories about the male factor being sorted out through varicocele surgery and/or lifestyle changes and then boom they're pregnant. It feels like there are so many unknowns in this process and no one source of unbiased advice that you can turn to to figure out what to do next!

@Beyondshit I'm so sorry, it's so hard going through this process. really hope you manage to sneak in your third nhs round while you can.

I have had my second round of bloods today (im starting to get track marks!!) and booked in for a scan later, so I think ec is imminent. I'm so looking forward to that deep sleep - I was so wired last night, and my body clock has now adjusted to a 5am wake up. Was told to drink 4 litres of liquid today, but have an empty bladder for my scan at 3pm so not sure how I'm going to juggle that!!!

@99pctpractice this sounds like maximum batshittery! Why 4 litres of water?! Ever since a ridoculous bloods appointment where an HCA, a lead nurse, and an anaesthetist struggled to get my blood I've been tracking water and get at least 2l a day now (3 on a cracking day) but 4 seems FAR too much 😅

Hi ladies, I was meant to have an appointment with the counsellor this morning (was booked last week) and on the way to the hospital, they rang up to say they're having to cancel it (just 10 mins before the appointment time). I broke down crying in the car, especially after being informed yesterday that they're cancelling my treatment this month due to the upcoming bank holiday/ CD1 being a Saturday malarkey. It just tipped me over the edge and felt like everything's just being cancelled or delayed one after the other. OH was there with me and said that now that we're almost here, let's go talk to one of the nurses at the clinic about what they said yesterday. As soon as I saw a nurse I had a meltdown and cried in front of her. I really couldn't keep it together. She was actually really nice and took us to a private room and sat with us and listened to our concerns. Basically she said it was unfortunate that the bank holiday falls bang on the time I would have had my collection, and theatres do not operate on that day. She said it wasn't really to do with CD1 falling on a Saturday as the other nurse said, as I was worried that it may happen again, given my cycles are usually about 28-29 days. I was such a wreck this morning, I was so upset yesterday, after having so much hope on us getting started this month. They really should have been honest from the start, I mean they even gave me my meds to take home, and they're staring at me whenever I open the fridge.

Sorry for the rant, I need to pull myself together.

Oh @tinkerbell098 I'm sorry you're had such a rubbish day! Hopefully the chat with the nurse has reassured you a bit about next cycle x

@Tinkerbell098 I'm so so sorry that's so shit of them on so many levels. First of all cancelling ten minutes before a counselling app of all things. There's no human decency in that. Anyone would be so upset even without the shit news they gave you yeaterday. I've had treatment cancelled twice because of clinic mess ups and it's just so unfair. Really hate this for you.

@JeanieJ the week for terrible terrible service. So sorry you had to get that calm out of the blue. Can't even imagine what a shock it was. Really hope having the service helps you process everything x

@Beyondshit so sorry your cycle ended so badly.

@99pctpractice fingers crossed for a great EC. That nap is the one thing I loved about them. Hope it's a goodie. 4l plus empty bladder.... not sure of the math on that one...

Thanks everyone 💕💕
To be honest, it's really validating to have my baby recognised and given a respectful goodbye. I'm not spiritual at all, but it means alot regardless.
It's treated like a proper little funeral with readings we can choose & we can also bring poems and play music.

I need to pull myself together for my sisters wedding in Ireland on Friday. Really nervous about it ... She's having 300+ people and lots of my cousins have had babies during the pandemic and I haven't seen them 😳 , plus my relatives have no tact! Bring on the 'when you guys having kids' questions!

@Tinkerbell098 that's really shitty of your counsellor & so unprofessional. I feel like they have a duty of care and they've really let you down.

@Beyondshit that's mad about the costs? Send it through when you find it. I'm very sorry about the lack of fertilization 😢😢

@99pctpractice so much water? 😳 fingers crossed for your EC!

@Gracie2021 how are you feeling?

Xx

@jeaniej I sent you a PM. It was at Wexham Park hospital

Hi everyone, I had a mini mumsnet break, logged on to lots of bfps and it was a lot to deal with so I’m putting a toe back in now I’m feeling less emo.

huge congrats to @Gracie2021, hopefully it’s all going ok x

Going to try to catch up with everything up there 👆

@Tinkerbell098 ik sorry they’ve done that to you, I know that feeling when nothing seems to be going well, it’s very lonely.

@JeanieJ a weird surprise of a call but it’s nice that they’re going to do a service, I didn’t realise they would.

@Beyondshit I’m catching up now and it sounds like you’ve just done round two? Really sorry it turned out so badly, what did they say about your partner’s sample? Because you’re post-varicocele embolisation, I think? Thanks for the price too btw, I’ll look that clinic up, we couldn’t justify it for £6k but maybe for £1200. We were told the varicocele wasn’t causing trouble but I can’t think what else to do if ivf keeps failing.

@99pctpractice that’s a lot of water, when is EC?

@thislittlebird totally understand needing a break. Hope you managed to take some time to help you process things a bit and focus on yourself.

@Tinkerbell098 that really sucks, I'm sorry they cancelled your counselling session (a) when you really needed it and (b) on such short notice. The level of disorganisation in these places never ceases to amaze me, but hopefully it was helpful to get to speak to a nurse about starting your next cycle.

@Gracie2021 thank you - all ok with you?? Hope your result showed that your hcg levels are where you want them to be.

I triggered tonight for ec on Friday! At the stage of blissful ignorance where I don't know how many eggs, embryos or anything there will be, so just looking forward to that sleep and then hopefully a nice breakfast out afterwards...

Welcome back @thislittlebird hope the step back helped. Has to be done sometimes and just mind yourself xxx

Everything crossed for you for Friday @99pctpractice and here's to a wonderful nap too.

Hope everything goes well for you on Friday @JeanieJ weddings are such a strain sometimes as you never know what someone's going to say. Hope you can enjoy the day and have a fab time. On a separate note so glad that you can recognize your little one and say goodbye properly. Heartbreaking but hopefully healing too xx

On my side, we got beta back this week and it was normal so just waiting a couple weeks on a first scan but for now all is quiet. I know I struggled with people post positives sometimes and don't want to be insensitive so going to take a bit of a step back for now aside from checking in on you all and crossing my fingers for success. Hope that's ok and I'll be sending on the good vibes all of your way as always xxxx

@thislittlebird we were thinking about getting a dog as well!! Especially after a friend of mine told me she had a failed transfer, then got a dog and got pregnant. I had dogs when I was little and have always wanted to have one, but just worry about having a dog in London with such a small garden!! A friend has a cockapoo because she's very allergic and she has been ok - the dog is super hyperactive though so I think a cavapoo would maybe be a calmer option to go for!! We were looking at dachshunds but my oh has said no on the basis of the barking, so we're going to have a re-think after this cycle...

Ah @Gracie2021 that's great news. So pleased for you after everything you have been through and it is so kind of you to be so sensitive.

I had a bit of a mixed ec today, involving 2 naps (!). Woke up from the first one to be told that they were going to put me under again. Initially in my brain fog I thought that they had got some eggs but wanted to go back in to see if they could get eggs from some of the other follicles. Then when I came to a bit more it turned out they had not been able to find any eggs....so they took some blood tests to check what was going on, luckily it all looked ok so they then took me back in for a second go and got 6 eggs. Phew. All very stressful, I'm not going to lie. I shed a few tears on my way back into the or thinking that I could come out of this cycle with absolutely nothing, failing at the first hurdle. So very relieved that they managed to find the eggs on the second time round. Had a breakfast of eggs afterwards and going to spend the rest of the day chilling and watching terrible tv!!

@Gracie2021 glad to hear it's going well x

@99pctpractice I can't decide whether to get one or not! I'm driving myself crazy, I feel like I'm going to fuck it up but maybe I need to do it to prove I can??? I'm not very confident in anything right now.I really love dachshunds, we had mixes of them when I was a kid, they're very cheeky but I can't tolerate their coats now and yeah they did bark a lot when I was a kid. I've heard about lots of people with crazy cockapoos lol. My mum's french bulldog is the quietest dog I've ever met, barely makes a peep but I'm not sold on them, can't put my finger on why - plus I'm definitely allergic. The only ones I can have are the non-shedders and I can't risk a mix with a coat that does shed (like a poodle spaniel mix) in case you get the //wrong// coat as they grow up, if that makes sense. How big is your garden? We're in London too but the garden isn't the tiniest.

Your EC sounds eventful, and stressful! Glad they took you back and got the six in the end, what an odd thing that they didn't find them. Put your feet up, you deserve the rest after the stress!

@9999pctpractice @thithislittlebird We got a dog in January and it's the best thing I've ever done. We live in London in a flat but with loads of outdoor space and have a big balcony. I figured if the IVF worked he'd be at least 10 months old by the time baby came along and if it didn't I'd be glad of the joy he brings. I was right on the last part.

Off to transfer the one remaining embryo we had from our last cycle today. It's not great quality but giving it a go anyway.

@Gracie2021 I'm glad all is going well x

@99pctpractice fingers crossed you, when do you hear more about your eggs?

@JeanieJ gosh I'm so sorry you got that unexpected call but as you said, it's nice that your baby is being acknowledged and will be given a beautiful send off x

Definitely do more research about the surgery and see if you can get it done for less out of London.

@Beyondshit I hope all goes well with your transfer x

@Tinkerbell098 that is really crap about your cycle. It's so frustrating the uncertainty around IVF and the many different factors we face.

@thislittlebird welcome back

I'm starting oestrogen now on Monday for 2 weeks and will then be scanned with a view to doing an FET if things look well. I can't believe I've done nearly 3 months of downreg. It has flown by and with no real side effects either

@Beyondshit good luck for your transfer today!! Quality doesn't tell you everything - if it was good enough to freeze, it is good enough to make a baby...what type of dog do you have?

@thislittlebird our garden is pretty small. Not sure about dimensions but it's basically a little patch of astroturf and some shrubs. We are near a common so it would be easy to take a dog for walks but if they needed to go, we'd always have to take them out, basically. But maybe that isn't a bad thing to have an excuse to get outside! My oh works from home most of the time so hopefully we wouldn't need daily doggy daycare...

@Tillybabs 3 months has flown by! Great that you're now on the count down to FET, 2 weeks will seem like no time at all.

Yesterday the embryologist called to manage expectations around fertilisation (basically he said that the eggs might all be immature because of how the collection went), which put the fear in me a bit, but this morning we found out that they all fertilised. Which was a big surprise and amazing. Given that all the way through they told me I had 4 follicles plus a little straggler, I didn't even hope that more than 4 eggs would be mature! Fingers crossed that at least one of them will make it to blast, but I think they'll do a day 3 transfer in any case because day 3-5 seems to be our worst stage for drop offs....

@99pctpractice that's fab news that they all fertilised. Fingers crossed they make it to blast. Would they do more than one transfer if there's more than one or freeze?

@9999pctpractice he's a cavalier. Just the best. Cuddly, cute, loyal, friendly, confident, easy to train, can walk for miles, be playful, left alone just snoozes. Light of my life, the truffle in my pasta as Ryan Giggs would say.

@Beyondshit good luck with the transfer! Let us know how it goes. I'm glad to hear you're enjoying the dog life, how old is your dog now? I'm scared of messing it all up I suppose/it being stressful. I keep worrying about the negatives (what if they bark a lot, will I cope with all the bodily functions etc) and get cold feet. How has he fitted into your life? The truffle in your pasta😂

@Tillybabs glad it's flown by for you, I would have expected it to drag, everything ivf seems to!

@99pctpractice yeah we wouldn't need daycare much, and we have an ok garden with grass/flower beds etc. I'm thinking if we don't do it this side of private treatment then we won't be able to justify the price after our savings have drained away when we pay for treatment. We've decided we're not going away this December, we'd planned to go on a city break in Europe for a weekend in December but it's too expensive right now. We've had a lot to pay for this summer, house stuff still ongoing and then car stuff next month but after that we need to save as much as we can. Might go to York for a weekend, something like that.

That's great news on your eggs, and that they'll transfer a day 3 embryo. Fingers crossed one of those works out!