Fertility Appointments and Beyond.... the next chapter

[Tinkerbell098]

I have created a new thread as the previous one is about to fill up. I've tagged some of us here, but apologies if I have missed anyone.

The thread is for anyone who has started/ about to start fertility investigations or treatment. Come join us, we are a lovely bunch :)

@tillybabs
@thislittlebird
@kay00
@jeaniej
@PurpleUnicorn01
@paintfairy
@dogmam
@flutterby8
@Ughmaybenot
@dancingfairydreams
@beckycarlos
@jkjellyhead
@juno231
@decaffe
@bumble44
@BritinNZ
@tinkerbell098
@pinkginpls
@thedaydreambelievers
@everymumday
@wanderlust16
@lori23ttc
@Gracie2021
@Sofasogood1
@99pctpractice
@magnoliasinbloom

@thislittlebird I'm so so sorry. Sending you lots of love x

@gracie2021 i just tell myself they've heard everything, and maybe it'll put a little smile on their face 😅

@thislittlebird I'm so sorry, it's so heartbreaking. Please don't be too hard on yourself - none of this is your fault and hopefully ivf can still work for you. I know that we set these goalposts for ourselves and it's so hard when we feel like we're not meeting up to our own expectations. Sending lots of big hugs xxx

@thislittlebird 😪

@thislittlebird please don't beat yourself up x you really don't deserve it xx

@thislittlebird I’m so sorry it hasn’t worked it’s just so unfair. I totally feel the same I feel like the odds are stacked against us & the IVF just isn’t going to work. I now won’t have a baby before 40 either (I would of needed to get pregnant last month). Started trying a couple of months before turning 36 so similar timeline. I wish we had started earlier too but I thought as long as we started trying around 35 it would be ok. I feel really bitter about the unfairness of it all.

In case anyone enjoys podcasts, there's a new episode on fertility on the best friend therapy podcast (it's with Elizabeth Day, whose talked a bit about her own struggles before) which really resonated with me. Forewarning that it's very emotional!

@thislittlebird I'm so sorry. I know how you feel
About age because I didn't expect to be 41 and going through this. Big hugs xx

I am super new to my journey - such an emotional rollercoaster already, just trying to deal with appointments through the NHS.

Lovely to have people to chat to!

@Ldougal92 sorry if you’ve already explained, just saw your recent post. I’m quite early in the journey as well just started cycle 1 of letrozole through the nhs. Hope its all going well for you!

Thanks for the kind words, ladies

@99pctpractice these faux goals are so hard, I never expected to be here, I thought starting at 36 would mean we’d have a kid before now but nope. It’s so shit.

@InvisibleDreamer that’s exactly how I feel. I have my DH’s words from years ago ringing in my ears: “I don’t want to be an old dad” and now I can’t make him a dad at all 😭. I’m bitter too, you aren’t alone. Tosha I’ve been thinking about how I probably need to start re-visualising that life I’d imagined and imagine it to involve lots of holidays and a dog, because I can’t see the kid or two playing out right now. IVF failing is so hard, especially when it seems to work for others. I know my age won’t be helping matters.

@Tillybabs how have we all ended up here? Ugh, fucking infertility can fuck off.

Thanks @Tinkerbell098 @beckyCarlos @Kay00

Today I’ve been wondering if the embryo implanted. I got a small amount of CM with blood tinged colouring 3dpt. My eye condition (blepharitis) and my arthritis randomly flared up, I thought it was the heat. Now I’m worrying it was my immune system overreacting and rejecting the embryo. I guess I may or may not find out next time, I might have to test earlier, despite how much I hate it.

I ordered a microbiome test today. 700 euros 🙄. Can’t really justify much more than that yet, also ordered a vaginal ph kit, and might do a few private blood tests. It’s all expensive but I don’t know what else to do other than start ruling issues out. It could be my age and simply aneuploid embryos, but I’ll do some tests anyway.

Just catching up now, I'm so sorry things haven't turned around @thislittlebird, absolutely hate this for you. Sounds like you have a plan of action anyway with the tests and if I recall correctly you have two more nhs embryoes for transfer in September? Tbh the only reason I plan on testing early is to know if I have a chemical so get you completely about wondering about the immune response. I'm on a kind of immune protocol because I have a family history and funny immune bloods and prior to the DOR arising had wondered if the immune side of things was responsible. Are you on any immunosuppressants for your arthritis?

@thislittlebird it really sucks. The having no idea why it didn't work is so hard. I hope that the tests show you something that you can change for the next transfer.

If you are concerned from the immunology perspective then I have heard good things about dr Gorgy, who you can see independently of doing ivf at his clinic. It's all additional expense though, I know.

My acupuncturist recommended canesflor (probiotics for down below!) before I start my next cycle - has anyone tried them before? I think it's because I mentioned having cystitis around the time of my last ivf cycle and she is trying to help me reduce the chances of that or thrush etc this time....I'm hoping they aren't as messy as cyclogest!

Hello ladies, I've not been on here in a very long time. After my 3rd failed transfer in May I've tried hard not to let infertility be all consuming like it has for the last 2.5 year and instead taken a break, which we're continuing to do so.

Having said that, last week was our long awaited consultation with Jonathon Ramsey and I know a couple of you ladies also had appointments with him so thought I'd let you know how it went.

Before our appointment with Mr Ramsay, we had our nhs andrologist appointment (a bit like buses!!) And he arranged for my partner to have bloods, a repeat sample, and an ultrasound. So I was kind of thinking hmm should we really pay to see Mr Ramsey when we're finally getting the male factor issue looked at locally by the nhs, but we went anyway. Mr Ramsey was nice and he actually knows our local andrologist so has written to him at our clinic in the hope they kind of work together with us, especially as we really don't want to have to go back to London when we are from the North. Anyway, varicosele was diagnosed, and some bloods, DNA fragmentation and a few other tests were carried out. We will have a telephone follow up with him in a few weeks but the recommendation is that the varicosele is embolised and that should hopfully make all the difference, he seemed quite confident and didn't rule out a natural pregnancy.

For those interested, the consultation cost £300 and the tests cost over £700. I've attached a price list. Just be aware that after the consultation, Mr ramsay will let the receptionist know all the tests he recommends that you basically get asked to pay for them, so it was a bit of a shocker cost wise but never mind.

@thislittlebird I'm so sorry. Been there and I know its devastating. Take your time and hold on to the hope you've got two in the freezer. Really guttered for you that it didn't work this time around x

@dogmam thanks for your update - it's super helpful.
My husband has his appt with Dr Ramsay next Thursday & the receptionist said to allow c£1000 for tests. We've already had the DNA frag test (crap results) & my husband has a diagnosed varicocele that we have an NHS urologist appointment for end of October 🙄.
How long will the tests take to book in do you know? How many weeks are you waiting for your follow up?
@thislittlebird so sorry it didn't work out 😢💕

@Gracie2021 yeah, we have our last two. We're going to transfer them both. Even the thought of testing early stresses me out tbh. But I do understand the logic of checking for a chemical.

The immune thing is funny. I seem to have an overreactive immune system, so I don't really see the point in all the expensive tests. Might as well just suck it up and take pred on a cycle in future and see what happens, but I really hate pred. I don't have regular arthritis, so I don't take anything. It just kicks in once in a while in my hands in the cold, and when it hit 40 degrees the hands starting hurting AND my left hip, which was annoying :/

@99pctpractice I have to keep hoping it's just my age and not something wrong with me, really. It's so tough to not know though.

I'm in two minds about Gorgy. I've been told his good but I don't know how I feel about the add ons, and especially intralipids which sounds like nonsense to me if I'm being honest.

I don't get cystitis, I do seem to get thrush. I use optibac which are good. I've bought a vaginal ph kit to keep testing, that might be useful for you?

@dogmam you're back! I wish we'd had the recommendation of removing the varicocele. DH has one, but JR seems to think it's too small to cause the problems. I can't help but wondering if it is the cause and embolisation would help, but I don't know. We can't afford it privately.

Yeah we had the same tests, but never got any help with the NHS for DH, so just had to get on and do them.

Thanks @dogmam. We're going to transfer two next time, then moving to private.

@JeanieJ thanks!

@dogmam hey! Good to hear from you! Yikes at that price list though 😅 (says someone who just spent £1,800 on IVF drugs and hasnt checked her bank balance since)

@thislittlebird thats so frustrating about your partner. I hope you're doing ok with everything else (you know what I mean, I know you're not 'ok' but..whatever that looks like for you right now - this comes from someone who ran away and pretended to be on the phone when a colleague was showing a scan on Weds...)x

Hi @dogmam I recognise your name from before. Hopefully the embolism does the trick. It can completely reverse sperm issues so 🤞.

Hi everyone. Hope everyone is doing ok. I had my consultation yesterday following my first letrozole month when no dominant follicles were seen on scan. The consultant said he is confident I have ovulated between scans because of my lining thickness but if my period doesn’t arrive by early next week (which will align with his calculations) then to call them and they will increase my dose next month. So I do feel better about that as I wasn’t convinced with them not seeing any dominant follicles. Just waiting to see when it arrives now! xx

So glad for that good news @Hoping43 and even better that you have a plan in place for next month too. Fingers crossed you won't need it.

Been thinking of you this weekend @thislittlebird hope you're doing as ok as you can be. Glad that you have a plan for the next transfer and your two ready to go. Completely understand about the pred, I'm like a blimp here after being on them for the last couple months. I was only wondering if you were on treatment for your arthritis as autoimmune runs in my family and a family member with a bad autoimmune had no issues with getting pregnant when they were on immunosuppressants so I'd wondered myself if that had made a difference for her.

@99pctpractice @thislittlebird I was advised before to rotate probiotics as apparently mixing them up keeps a good mix of cultures in your system. I go between alflorex and optibac.

Great that you're getting somewhere with the tests etc @JeanieJ but 🤮 re the 💰 and the wait. It all adds up doesn't it. How are you doing these days.

Hi @dogmam recognize the name. Hate that we're all still hanging round here after all this time. Hope the break has been doing you some good and great news that you'll hopefully be seeing progress soon. How long will it take to get the varicocele embolisms? Finger crossed for ye.

@Gracie2021 is it transfer day today?!

Thanks. I’ve been having the odd meltdown and feel like I need to come to terms with an outcome where this doesn’t work in the end. I think going into it I thought this would likely work for us, the first failure didn’t really changed that feeling but the second makes me realise I could just keep doing this and it’ll never work. It might work, but I don’t think I can go through it assuming it will and need to try to accept we could be childless.

I really hate pred but yeah, I am aware I might need it to conceive. I just don’t want to be on it for months, a couple of weeks would be ok but I’m not sure that will be sufficient 😞. I have some at home, I’m allowed if for my asthma in case something happens to aggravate it. There’s definitely arthritis in the family but I don’t know if it’s something that happens with age or is a symptom of an autoimmune problem.

I’ll look up the other probiotic, thanks! I did my microbiome test, had to collect menstrual fluid and what a palaver that was.

I'd be more surprised if you weren't feeling like that @thislittlebird better to feel it all and process than try to batten it down. I get you about the naivety starting out in this process and then you start to question if you'll be that couple that it doesn't work for..... So glad you have your two other embryoes though and plenty of options still. Have you next steps laid out with your clinic? Glad you were able to get the micro biome test done, god I'd say that was an awkward one to collect. The things we have to do....

Transfer is done and for the first time ever I am PUPO. Embryologist was thrilled with our blast, said it thawed at100% and re expended really well. Attached my little embaby 😍😍 transfer went really smoothly and headed home for a quiet afternoon on the couch and an evening walk. However this goes feeling really lucky to be in with a chance at last!

Omg @gracie2021 so happy for you! What a lovely blast! Enjoy the bubble 🥰 x

@thislittlebird sorry you're feeling shit, I think its normal, but its just literally shit. How on earth did you collect menstrual fluid?! Hats off to you! Also, why in gods name hasnt someone invented a better way of testing?! X