Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

So..... Is it really bad of me to use a pair of hold-ups to encourage DH to impregnate me when he does not want another child or should be responsible for his willy and abstain....?

33 replies

wimpydisguise · 03/01/2008 23:59

He knows I am desperately wanting another and am 'wide open', so to speak.
I am taking no precautions, and neither did he once I had slipped into something more comfortable last night.

OP posts:
Rhubarb · 04/01/2008 00:00

eugh! Hold ups?????
He can't be that bothered if he doesn't put a condom on. His look out.

PussinJimmyChoos · 04/01/2008 00:00

Did he know you were not on the pill or anything?

lulumama · 04/01/2008 00:03

would depend if he knows you are precautionless too......

if he does not want another child, he should stick a condom on for sure

but not fair to force his hand, as it were , or indeed anything else

Original poster
wimpydisguise · 04/01/2008 00:03

He knows I am not taking anything/have anything implated/in etc.

He likes stockings better but they take me a good 30 mins to get right and I can't be arsed with that anymore!

Do you think it is okay for me to seduce him though?

He did say 'It's a trap' in a joking tone....

OP posts:
Rhubarb · 04/01/2008 00:05

If he knows you want another, and he knows you are "wide open" then surely it is his responsibility to take precautions?

However if you do get pregnant and he is less than chuffed, indeed very unsupportive, you shouldn't be too surprised. I can see this ending in lots of arguments. Surely it would be better to have it out in the open, so to speak?

lulumama · 04/01/2008 00:05

nope , i don;t think it is ok, no. if he is joking about it being a trap, then the shit will hit the fan if you do get pregnant, but he needs to take responsibility and use a condom and insist on a condom .

maybe this is a conversation you need to have again, without the stockings.

NorthernLurker · 04/01/2008 00:06

sounds like he isn't totally against having another baby tbh - I think it's quite sweet of you to seduce him actually - as long as you have been honest about your lack of precautions then I think it's just a case of seeing what happens - good luck!

Original poster
wimpydisguise · 04/01/2008 00:11

I thought similar Northener.
He is my hubby and knows how I feel.
He is very aware I have no precautions in place.
He was reluctant to get jiggy the other day and I asked him if it was because he was scared of me getting preggers and he said no. The next day he might say definately no more children. He is very confusing.
I think he may be shocked if I did fall but would come round to it.

OP posts:
Original poster
wimpydisguise · 04/01/2008 00:12

He also gets quite excited at baby sex iyswim? When sex is also to try and concieve a baby, he gets all romantic.

OP posts:
NorthernLurker · 04/01/2008 00:28

well sounds like he know's what he's doing and you have been clear about the situation. As long as you are prepared for a bit of a 'how did this happen moment' then I think you should be good to go for it - how many dcs do you have already?

anniemac · 04/01/2008 10:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

LadyTophamHatt · 04/01/2008 10:10

if it was as simple as wearing stockings/hold ups to change a mans mind women all over the world would be rushing to the shops!!

If he's that easily swayed I really don't think he's that against another one.

cece · 04/01/2008 10:11

Sounds like he knows what you are up to.. and he is enjoying it.

EllieG · 04/01/2008 10:14

Worked for me

My DP didn't really want one yet - knew I did - I think he just preferred to be seduced and have it a 'suprise' - he doesn't like to plan things very much. So it was, he was 'shocked' but is very pleased about the baby.

madamez · 04/01/2008 10:16

If he really, really, didn;t want another baby it would be his lookout to either get a condom or have discreetly run off and had a snip done. SO I don't think you have been too unethcial.

anniemac · 04/01/2008 10:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

YeahBut · 04/01/2008 10:25

Sounds like he knows he's on to a good thing and is going to make the most of it!!

HairyIrene · 04/01/2008 10:28

if you really wanted another baby that badly, go the whole hog and take 30 minutes to adjust your stockings properly...imho...

if he does really know your feelings / intentions ...then precautions are his dept i guess....

FurtivelyPosting · 04/01/2008 10:58

I would have encouraged you to have an open and honest discussion beforehand (I'd be concerned about you having this thrown back in your face at a later date) BUT your DH knew that it was sex without contraception and he knows how you feel about another baby, plus you know your DH better than any of us here and how he is likely to react if you do conceive.

The only other thing I would say is that some men don't like the whole ttc business and can feel put under pressure by it. The whole sex for a baby rather than enjoyment can bring out a bit of reluctance in them. Maybe this is his way of dealing with that pressure - do you think perhaps that he doesn't like the demands ttc puts on his 'performance' and so is trying to avoid that? I also think (a little bit) that he's enjoying you going out of your way to seduce him too.....

fireflyfairy2 · 04/01/2008 11:02

Madamez "Discreetly run off and had a snip done"

without her knowing?

Twiglett · 04/01/2008 11:03

why do real stockings take 30 minutes to get on right?

(I appreciate I have totally missed the point of this thread btw )

ScarlettOHairy · 04/01/2008 11:04

Am thinking of doing this to my dh to be honest! He SAYS he also wants another baby, but isn't doing much about it in the "action" department. Thinking of waiting until I'm ovulating and then plying him with whisky or sth - if I tried hold ups he would just laugh!

scorpio1 · 04/01/2008 11:22

i am very about this thread.

maybe i like to talk things through more with my dp and get more expressive 'consent'.

i would need to know if i had a baby he would be a Daddy to baby like he is with the others, not regretting having sex with me.

FurtivelyPosting · 04/01/2008 11:25

Fireflyfairy2 said;

"Madamez "Discreetly run off and had a snip done"

without her knowing? "

I was thinking the same thing. I don't think I would ever be able to forgive my DH if he surreptitiously had the snip while knowing that I wanted another baby.

Just look at Ian Beale - caused him no end of trouble!

scorpio1 · 04/01/2008 11:28

i thought that wives have to consent to the snip? or maybe i am being silly? [wonders]

Yes i would be mad about that, but thats just as sneaky as having an 'accident' IMO. there are grey areas in this i think, around contraceptive use, honesty and how much the partner knows and realises, iyswim?