9 months+ trying to conceive, still losing hope, still trying

[BritInNZ]

Continuing the earlier thread ladies before we run out of room... will tag in who I remember but feel free to tag others I may have missed. And newbies always welcome!

@Aubyone - pregnant! Adding in case she wants to keep in the loop 😊
@kmbegs
@FlyOnTheWall89
@Hopefullywaiting01234
@Tinkerbell098
@LucyAnne34
@MaryTeenOfScots

@Roaxx me and my OH still aren’t with the same GP if that helps - it actually gave us two chances at getting a good one so I found it useful. I had all my consultations on the phone and in a way it was easier if any of that eases your mind at all. Thanks for sharing re your SIL that gives me some hope!

Re injections, I did the second one last night on my own and it was actually totally fine I didn’t even tell DH I was doing it. Just sharing in case it removes any of the anxiety around ivf for any of you (to be clear I’m squeamish and not known for bravery so I’m sure you’d all be a-ok too)

@Carla2601 😂 how funny, I don't sense that. No don't worry, A) I've nearly completed the podcast and B) I'm a avid walker in London so I always have to have something in my ears and at the mo, this is the chosen podcast. Hope the injections are going okay. Xx

Morning all,

Just a note to say I hope you’re all ok today. I didn’t think I’d mind at all but actually feeling really sad - so if you are too I’m thinking about you and you’re not on your own. If you’re not….send me your tips 😂. Love to you all x

@FlyOnTheWall89 haha I’m exactly the same! Always wandering around London with a podcast - although currently listening to one about someone who escaped death row in Thailand….so a bit different 😂😂😂

Hi everyone! Thanks for the welcomes in to the thread! I read all of this one and the original one too when I came across it! I hope you’re all well and don’t mind me asking what cycle you’re all on now? And if this is baby number one or two? 🙂

CD 4 of cycle 9 here and finally took the plunge this month and ordered the clear blue digital ovulation kit AND preseed, because I’m made out of money apparently 🥴 I’m sure many of you have tried these by now but I’ll keep you updated with how I get on with them.

Have also been slacking on taking my folic acid so going to be on it with that this month and finally got my partner to start taking a multivitamin too. I think I’m convincing myself these will all make a difference this month, god knows how disappointed I’ll be if AF shows in April 😩😩

It’s my son’s third birthday during the last week of the tww so I’m hoping that helps provide a distraction too as we will be seeing lots of family and having my mum who lives 5 hours away visiting too.

Fingers crossed for some BFPs in April 🤞🏻❤️

@L0ts - Hey! I am cycle 10 and today is ovulation day! I said to my hubby if we conceive this cycle i would conceive mothers day, how lovely would that be. I am always more positive/hopeful around this time of the month but dread the TWW - i think before ovulation you know your not pregnant so you don't think about it so much. Definitely recommend OPKs!

@Carla2601 - i am surprisingly feeling ok today i am off out this afternoon for drinks and picky bits with my mum, SIL, her mum, aunty and cousins so that will be nice. Who knows what the next 12 months will bring 🙏🤞 xx

@L0ts welcome to the thread. This is my third baby and we on cycle 12. We have an appointment with a fertility consultant on Tuesday to find out our next steps. Didn’t have any problems conceiving the first two and our youngest is only 2.5 so we started trying again when he was 18 months old and it just hasn’t happened 😭.

Did you have any problems conceiving your son? Xx

@NatW2021 That would be the best Mother’s Day present ever wouldn’t it? Fingers crossed for you 🤞🏻 I have tired OPKs before but just the one step cheapies you can get in bulk from Amazon! I find with them I get a little obsessive and pee on loads each day! I had to stop 😩😂

@Hoping43 Such a long time 😩 I feel like now I’ve got to 9 months I’ve started to panic now the year mark is approaching. We conceived our son on the 10th cycle so this isn’t an unfamiliar feeling for me unfortunately. No problems as far as I’m aware, although our home life wasn’t great (still lived with my parents) and my anxiety was pretty bad.. Not too sure if that played any factor in it or not. Thought this time would be different now I have my son to distract me, we have our own home etc.. But it seems not 😩

❤️

That's lovely @LucyAnne34

Got my AF yesterday 1 day early so onto cycle 12 for me for baby #1. Fingers crossed for lucky number 12 ✨

Got some mothers day chocolates this morning from the dog 😂

@lemons44 love it! Your dog is my grateful than mine! Haha

💕

@FlyOnTheWall89 love this one ❤️

@L0ts it does feel like a really long time. I can’t believe a year has gone by with nothing when I’ve already have two children. It’s just so strange. How old are you? I don’t think there is much logic in this process and definitely no fairness. Hope it happens soon for you x

@Carla2601 nice to hear your update and thanks for the reassurance that IVF isn't as bad as it sounds as I am still terrified of having to go through it in the near future. Well done for doing your jabs by yourself. You are are warrior! Great to hear about your scan and all the best for today. Thinking of you XX

@L0ts welcome to the thread. I'm on cycle 16 (I think! After 12 months, I seem to have lost count). TTC #1 and have been referred to IVF just two weeks ago. Yet to hear from the clinic regarding timelines and appointments etc. Hope this is your lucky month xx

Sorry for the silence over the weekend. Had a horrible stomach bug and couldn't keep anything down, not even water! So was severely dehydrated so much so that I didn't have a wee for 1.5 days! Meant I haven't taken my supplements in two days, not that they seem to be doing much anyway haha! I'm doing much better now though and seem to be able to have boiled eggs and rice. On the plus side, I've lost 1.5 kg in 2 days (all water weight I assume).

@Tinkerbell098 omg that sounds horrendous!! How are you feeling now? Try not to worry about your supplements a couple of days won’t hurt I’m sure. Hope you’re on the mend but bet you’re exhausted.

Honestly - I had my second scan today and I’m now on the second jab so two a day (to stop me ovulating before the retrieval) and it’s still fine. This one was a bit more of a pest to get in but it’s really really not that bad. Before it you’re anxious but when you’re putting them in and you know they’re growing your eggs it almost feels good, and it’s some control too. So I’ll keep my fingers crossed for your BFP but if you do end up this route I promise you physically it won’t be as bad as you’re thinking. If it doesn’t work of course that’s another thing but this bit is honestly completely fine 😊👍🏻💪

@BritInNZ how are you doing?

Really amazing to hear you're finding it okay @Carla2601 ⭐️⭐️⭐️

@FlyOnTheWall89 I've had a rough couple of days, thanks for checking in. Just had our next fertility appointment (was brought forward) and they have recommended we have some monitored cycles on clomid or letrozole, so I have to phone up on CD1 and get that booked in. She said there's no point trying IUI as it doesn't increase the chances any more than monitored cycles, so to do this while saving for IVF.

She said as I have good ovarian reserve and there's nothing obviously wrong, she thinks monitored cycles will work for us, and if it doesn't, she's confident IVF will work for us.

She told us to DTD every other day from days 10 to 22, not every day. Which is pretty much what we've been doing the entire time 😂 so maybe that will help?

It feels good to have a plan but I'm still gutted it has gotten to this stage. I still grieve the journey I thought I'd have, but that's life. I feel sad I haven't enjoyed the first year of married life because I'm thinking about a baby, when being married to my husband was all I wanted before. It's tough!

How are you doing?

@BritInNZ so sorry you’re feeling low - but that sounds really positive to have a medicated monitored cycle. Keeping everything crossed it will work and let us know how you go with it.

I hear you on that, we’ve been trying since June 2020 and I grieve the time we didn’t get with our baby, the ever growing age gap to ‘their’ cousins and my best friends children. Sending hope that when you start your next cycle you’ll feel like I do re the IVF as those thoughts are less prominent now I’m onto a new thing to help x

Hi @BritInNZ - I completely understand. It is a period of grieving and it's such a head fuck that is so hard to explain to someone who hasn't been through it so you ultimately deal with it alone (or with us here). I think trying a medicated cycle is at least progress in that you're trying something new.... while you save. You are doing the best you can. I like to try to tell myself the hardest bit is done and each month we are closer to the goal of a baby. I think months 5-11 were the worst for me because I was so expectant each month. Now I just accept it is likely not to happen and I've totally stopped any symptom spotting. We have had numerous pregnancy announcements recently and I can't help but get frustrated about the time that is slipping away and then I panic because my AMH is on the low side that what if it dramatically drops. A man knows even if he only has 10 sperm, he can have his own biological child, but a woman.... well we are screwed once our ovarian reserve is low. It is scary and I have to pinch myself because I can't really believe I am in this position. I totally understand your feelings and I hope that as you move on to treatment of some sort, you feel like this is a positive direction. I don't know coatings over in NZ... any idea how long it will take to save for IVF? We only get one funded round here, so I think we will probs be paying at some point too and I think it will be around 12-15k, although some clinics are under 10k. X

@Carla2601 @FlyOnTheWall89 thanks so much, it's so nice to have people who just get it. I just wish there was people like this in real life to chat to!

@Carla2601 yes I already feel like a weight has been lifted. Don't get me wrong, I will still be anxious and absolutely devastated if it doesn't work, but I at least feel like I'm being listened to now. This month was weird - I was fine when my AF arrived but devastated for days 4 and 5. It just hit me differently this month.

@FlyOnTheWall89 it actually is grieving. Each month you grieve it didn't happen, then you're grieving the journey you wish you had, grieving for the life you thought you'd have by now... it's endless. I did ask the specialist about my chances of naturally conceiving now we're over the year mark and she said rather than 22% each month in the first year, we'd be around 20% now - so that made me feel a bit better. I agree, those months are the worst. I'd say potentially months 6-12 for me were the absolute pits, now I don't even suspect I might be pregnant. I haven't taken a pregnancy test in about 7 months. That's really tough about your AMH too - do you have any kind of plan moving forward? You've probably said but I get confused without faces to put to names! It's about $12000 here, so about £6k, so that sounds slightly cheaper than the UK? We'll be able to save that without issue (hopefully!), so the aim is to have it saved by Feb next year when we're at the two year mark then full steam ahead with IVF. Of course, always hoping it doesn't come to that! The specialist seemed annoyingly confident that the monitored cycles would work 😂 I say it's annoying because we all know nothing is certain when going through this and she doesn't know any more than I do on how successful it will be!

@BritInNZ Hey, hope you are doing ok, that sounds like a positive step - can i ask why they do this even if you ovulate? I Dont know a lot about the process but i thought they only do this for people who don't ovulate regularly?

I am 3dpo and also starting to get it into my head i am out already as my bbt after ovulation seems on the low side - still havent booked the Hycosy as just petrified and just keep convincing myself it will happen.

I seen something on insta over the weekend then went down a google rabbit whole about how drinking moderate alcohol 6/7 a week can reduce chances by 44%!! I dont drink at all sunday - Friday but 2 weekends out the month i go out for drinks/cocktails and now worrying about this - obviously desperate for a baby but as you all know you feel like you give so much of yourself to this and where do you draw the line on giving up everything and being totally miserable? X

Hi all,

Currently on CD 5 of cycle 12 and have finally got my act together, been brave and booked us in the get fertility tested.

I did decide in the end to go private because I liked that we could go and have our tests together and then we have a joint consultation too.

We have our tests in a few weeks on a Thursday (semen analysis, Pelvic scan and AMH bloods) and then the results are told to us in a consultation on a Monday. I can't believe how quick it is. They said the semen analysis results are done that day which really surprised me as I thought we would be waiting a few weeks for the results for that? It's only the bloods that take about 24 hours which is why the consultation is on the Monday.

I've booked it for a few weeks time after my fertile window this month so we can still try without DH having to save up his sperm for the sample.

I feel nervous but also proud that I've taken the first step to getting answers. It felt a difficult step to take as it's almost admitting that something might not be right.

@Carla2601 thanks, all back to normal now, God knows what that was! When is your next scan?

@BritInNZ I'm sorry you're having a rough few days, but hope you're feeling better that there is a plan in place. 6k for IVF doesn't sound bad actually. Does it include the medicine as well? Hope you won't have to go through that though and clomid would do the trick. It's good the doctor is optimistic it'll work, they must know what the odds are.

@lemons44 glad you've taken the first step. I know how hard it is. The first time me and OH went to see the gynaecologist, we felt exactly the same way, as if admitting failure. Yes, going private offers a lot of flexibility and is much quicker. I hate having to wait around for letters/calls from NHS, and it's been more than 7 months waiting for me now. It's probably just my area that is horrendous. All the best xx

@Tinkerbell098 thank you. I completely relate to those feelings. what have you been waiting 7 months for? I hope whatever it is does not take too much longer.