Preparing to TTC in 2022

[WingingIt09]

DH has agreed to starting to TTC baby #3 in April/May. We already have a 2 daughters (age 4 and 2). I'm so excited to start trying! I think it's going to be a long wait until we can start actively trying!

Starting to think about things to do to help prepare my body. I'm currently on the progesterone only pill so thinking of when to stop it. I have 5 days left in this packet and then one packet left after that in my current prescription. Don't know whether to stop when I finishes this packet or at the end of Jan after my next packet. Any experiences of how long it takes cycle to regulate after the pill?

I need to try and eat healthier as I've been so bad recently with Christmas but I'm a healthy weight so not too worried there. Also ordered some TTC vitamins which I remember from previous pregnancies is good to take 3 months before TTC.

Anything else I could do? Is there anyone else who will be starting to try later in the year and so excited that you're already on here 🙈?

Welcome @BlueberryMacaron I use the 'Seven Seas Trying for a Baby Vitamins' as I usually take a multivitamin even when not TTC so I like the extra vitamins, As others have said you only need folic acid so the supermarket brands work for that x

@HippeePrincess ah I see that makes sense. I feel the same in the first 6 months I would prefer just to enjoy ttc and not worry too much about ovulation tracking. If takes longer than 6 months then will likely look into different ways to optomise chance of conceiving.
From what I have heard main thing is to have regular sex especially during fertile days of the month.

@Jennifer89 I think the danger of regular sex in the fertile days only if you’re not checking for ovulation means you can miss it if you don’t know when that is for you, if your cycle is irregular or just as a one off you ovulate late. I think we’ll just carry on as normal, although we’ve had a bit of a lull in our sex life recently so hoping that picks up naturally before we start trying. It’s definitely not been anywhere near the recommended every 2-3 days for a while, I think we need to make some time for ourselves to reconnect, it’s been a stressful year.

I’m going to try and work on my sleep, I’m so tired all the time and yet I go up to bed and sit on my phone because by the time I’ve made it upstairs I’m no longer tired. Or my head hits the pillow and I’m asleep. I think once this is sorted sex might happen more regularly too.

Welcome @BlueberryMacaron :)

Full dose folic acid 3 months before is only if you're not taking any to start with, right? My multivitamins have half the recommended dose in so I'm assuming I'm not starting from a deficient baseline and don't need to switch just yet..?

I think we're going to go with ovulation testing from the start, I work away a lot (12 nights away this month which is not unusual) so will need to know if I need to head straight home or can travel back next day etc.

Ooo I should probably check the levels in my generic Vits!

Amber that makes sense for you re testing!

I used to work with neurologists and their advice was full dose every day for all women of child bearing age as 50% of pregnancies are unplanned. They are so strict of course because they see the consequences everyday of folic acid not being taken but I have always followed their advice.

@ hopeful , that’s a crazy statistic, is it really true?

When I went for a pre conception chat with a nurse before dc1, she didn’t even advise it til I got a positive pregnancy test. She was hopeless tbf.

Gov.UK report 45% Hippee so close enough.

@Jennifer89 I've not used them before but giving them a go this time, as I've just come off my pull and have a specific time I'd like to fall pregnant I think knowing when I ovulate will be a big help!

Well 45% unplanned or feeling ambivalent through pregnancy. I guess some people plan but then become unsure. However not everyone planning will be taking folic acid as not everyone will know so it wouldn't surprise me if around that amount of pregnancies didn't take folic acid in the three months before.

That really surprises me, I don’t think the folic acid thing surprises me though, women’s health education and promotion is pretty poor.

Yes every so often a news report comes up about adding folic acid to bread flour but why not just have a massive campaign to raise awareness rather than try to achieve by stealth.

@HippeePrincess that is a good point. I should purchase some just to understand my cycle/ovulation more, so can work which days is definitely good to have sex...

Every 2-3 days is a lot for me too but hoping will pick up too when we ttc. Tiredness is an issue too. Think me and dh should have earlier nights, rather than going to bed at midnight when overtired..

Every 2-3 days is unheard of for us 🤣🤣 my poor other half is most excited for ttc as he'll finally see some action 🤣

@Jennifer89 yes that's why I'm going to use ovulation tests once I've had my first period after the pill. I would like an idea of what my cycle is doing and if/when I'm ovulating. Plus like @Dreamingof3 there's an ideal time frame for falling pregnant so I want to maximise chances in that window!

I'm still waiting for a withdrawal bleed after coming off the pill... so impatient! I've started BBT so I can see if perhaps my body has switched straight to a proper cycle instead and that instead of a withdrawal bleed I'll just get a proper period in 4 weeks. Who knows 🤷‍♀️ @HippeePrincess I did give into temptation and POAS when AF still hasn't shown given I did miss a pill in December but it was a BFN as expected given we used additional protection!

@Dreamingof3 just noticed your comment - my husband is the same. He's excited for all the extra DTD when we TTC as for us it's usually more like every 2-3 weeks not 2-3 days 😂

@WingingIt09 maybe it will show up now you've tested!

I have some questions for the hive mind of our group regarding wills/divisions of assets, deeds of trusts etc etc as I'd really like some opinions which I can't ask anyone in real life due to wanting the potential new baby to be a factor.

I will be stumping up most of the deposit for this new house DP has saved a couple of thousand, I will have savings, inheritance and the equity in my home to the tune of a bit over 100k. I'll be paying estate agent fees, solicitors costs and stamp duty because if DP bought alone or with another first time buyer he would not have to pay stamp duty, the fees for selling my home.

I intend to protect my deposit somehow, as a value? or percentage? of the property, the rest we will own 50/50 although I will be paying more towards the mortgage for the foreseeable as I earn more. I wont be getting married again.

I have pension benefits with work and have nominated DP as my spouse to receive some kind of monthly pension, and my DC to receive death in service lump sum. I have asked DP if he has anything like this but realistically he will be leaving his work so it wont be relevant in the short term.

I want us to draw up wills, that feel fair for everyone. I'd like to consider current and future children as beneficiaries but also wouldn't want DP to have to leave his home to give my older DC their share especially if he still has a young child to look after. However, without a responsible parent around (their father is useless), I feel they would probably need financial support. I have considered leaving the value of current equity to the DC, anything over that which we have built together to DP and maybe even a mortgage life policy to pay off the rest for DP. I just worry that DP will not be happy/think I don't love him if I don't make provision for him but I leave it all to my kids. I feel I may have ofset this with the pension provision... I will feel hurt if he doesn't take me into account, I bet he hasn't even considered a will to be honest or that it would just go to his mum right now.

Also considering life cover to cover an amount equal to child maintenance in the event I died while the kids are young to pay exH - not that he would do the same the other way round but it would give me piece of mind re the kids.

What do people think is fair?

@HippeePrincess that's a difficult one! I think you'll definitely need to consult a solicitor to get it all drawn up correctly and to protect your DC interests if something did happen when they were still under 18. I think you DP should understand that you want to protect your older DC. Could you organise life insurance that would pay off the mortgage and to provide enough financial support to get any children you have until their 18/21. Then split other assets 50/50 between DC (all of them, those with your ex and any new children with your DP) and your partner?

Just catching up with this thread - does anyone know what a full dose of folic acid is for ttc?

I went into my local boots this morning and had a look at the conception vitamins but realised after looking at the ingredients that I have most of the vitamins at home anyway, so I didnt bother- the only thing I didnt have which was contained in the pregnacare vitamins was siberian ginseng and inositol. Does anyone know much about these 2 and do you think its worth buying them separately?

Whilst shopping I saw the most adorable baby outfits... I wanted to buy some which is completely ridiculous as we're not ttc until May so that would be bonkers! Anyone else have these temptations? Ahh I am so excited to ttc I hope the time comes quickly! I am another who has just moved houses - a full renovation so definately want to wait until at least the basics are done ✔

This is such a lovely thread I cant wait for us all to start trying and post positive tests etc

Can I join please? Hoping to start ttc in March/April - diabetic so working on bringing my sugars down first. They’re not too bad at the moment, but still a little above what they should be, so hopefully a few tweaks will do it. Fingers crossed for us all 🤞🏻

@Summerbreeze111 recommended folic acid dose is 400mg when trying to conceive I believe. I'd also double check none of the vitamins you have at home contain vitamin A as if they do you should stop taking it when you get pregnant x

@Lifeisnteasy welcome! Hopefully the tweaks you make should help your blood sugars and then you can start TTC.

Welcome @Lifeisnteasy 👋

@HippeePrincess, definitely speak to a solicitor as you have quite a few legal matters to deal with there. My DH and I have a declaration of trust in place as I bought our first house and he then came on the mortgage (we were 18 and 20 years old). It basically says I get the first £x amount of profit and DH gets £x, the remainder to be split 50/50. We’ve only just drawn up wills but they are pretty basic.

I stopped my pill on Sunday and have woken to a slight bleed, I guess this could be the withdrawal bleed? I don’t think I got this last time as I stopped the pill at the end of the pack so just had my normal ‘period’ and then didn’t take the pill. Hopefully I can start to track my cycles after this.

Hello :) I'm so happy to find this thread.
We are going to be starting TTC in April after our wedding. I am so excited to start. We were supposed to be getting married last year but obviously got postponed due to covid so I've been patiently waiting.
I am on the pill and I won't be coming off it until we get married as I know my skin will be terrible once I come off it and don't want to risk it for the wedding. I have been on birth control for 15 years so I have no idea what my regular cycle is like.
Wishing you all luck and baby dust for when the time comes

Welcome @ttcin2022 👋 are you nearly ready for your wedding?

I would suggest you start taking folic acid now if you can, ready for when you start TTC

@HippeePrincess I work in financial advice and can reassure you it is ridiculously individual/complex and everyone has these big hard conversations around estates and wills sooner or later! I'm of the opinion its better to get out of the way sooner. ]

I think it is perfectly reasonable for you to protect your higher contribution to the house and its easily achieved that those funds could be ring fenced and the rest split (either 50/50 or by whatever proportion you are splitting the mortgage payments). Also very sensible to leave either a lump sum in your will or take out specific life cover to leave to your DC from a previous relationship.

An IFA (independent financial adviser) will be your best bet for most of this. Can recommend someone for will writing services, can sort the pension nomination (even if your partner is leaving his work and loosing his DIS he should still have a workplace pension which you should be a nominated beneficiary on) can arrange suitable life cover and any Trusts you want to put in place. Whereas a mortgage adviser or solicitor is best for any deeds that need to be written in relation to the mortgage.

I would just pull your DP aside one evening and say you need to sort some life admin and wanted to run it by him, hear his thoughts and feelings on it and see if he needs or wants to do the same. 'What happens to your money when you die' is never a nice conversation but its a necessary one!

Good luck and happy to help if you have any questions on it x