Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

Waiting to TTC,any one else in similar sitch??

656 replies

Wannabamummy · 19/12/2007 15:23

Hi all

am looking for ppl in similar situation who are waiting to start TTC, interested to hear when thay are planning to start, reasons for waiting etc!

I am waiting to TTC as DP and i have agreed due to number of reasons, holiday in aug and trying to get ourselves better off financially, getting head straigh after mc in july, spending time together... Would just like to hear from those in similar boat, would be nice to get excited with someone!! sometimes feel an intruder being here hope no one minds!

OP posts:
Diege · 21/01/2008 11:37

Morning girls, and thanks for the list NJ! We too have our house on the market (though for sale sign ominously blew down over the weekend . The plan, like you, is to go for a 4 bedroom house, with garden (we live on the edge of a canal at the moment, v. pretty but not ideal for the dds!)Unlike you, I am an old codger who can't wait too long, so am taking the plunge a little earlier than I might have done had I still been in my 20s!
Oooh, feels really strange heading the list -doesn't anyone want to keep me company? I'll stay in 'April' as long as you don't make me leave for the draughty corridors of the ttc threads .
PLAYING, I am totally with you on the 'browsing' thing. Have been at my desk a few hours but I cannot settle!!! Must be a Monday-morning thing! Right, must get on! Hi to all

Diege · 21/01/2008 11:39

Yah BEMY!!! Get popping that folic acid!

BeMyLilBaby · 21/01/2008 12:04

hehe i shall do!!

i am excited, getting my house straight this weekend all those niggly jobs you forget to do so that will bwe gd!

still gotta break news bout hol to mum yet tho am scared!! xx

NatalieJane · 21/01/2008 12:27

Awww BB we'll be TTC buddys LOL

Diege, we've got a load of decorating to freshen things up and the gardens to sort, and to paint the house outside, so no way will it be before Summer that it will be ready to go on the market. Then, we have to sell it Was that flying pigs??? Also can't start TTCing before May, we've already got DS2's birthday in December, then obviously xmas, which completely buggers up money in Jan, then we've got DS1's birthday in March, so I would really like to be looking at anytime after April to have another. April the 1st will do If I'd have had to wait very long to get pregnant with my two I'd have been keener on TTCing a bit earlier, but DS1 took 6 months, sounds a long time but I'd had that Depo injection which can take up to 18 months to get out of your system, so it was fairly quick really, then I came off the pill to TTC DS2 and we got BFP on 2nd cycle, so obviously DH has super-duper-baby-making-sperm () That's what he thinks anyway

God I have waffled again.... sorry!

BB, what news about the hol?

BeMyLilBaby · 21/01/2008 12:30

oh DP and i have decided not to go we cant afford it, and he has just gotten a promotion at work so cant really swan off for 13 days... jus dont relish telling my mum because she wont be happy...been feeling we're distant atm anyway...

I wanna aim to have LO in april 09, to get a years paid maternity he he isthat naughty??

also does anyone knopw the rules on those sorts of things? how long you have to go back fo etc? xx

NatalieJane · 21/01/2008 12:37

Well, you know, you are all adults, I am sure she would only not be happy because she'd have been looking forward to it. Maybe arrange to take her for a lovely meal or something?

Sorry I don't know about ML at all, have never had to take it But I do think I have read before that you have to go back for at least 4 weeks before you can resign (if that's what you wanted) else you have to pay some/all of it back to your employer. I think when you go back, you have some rights about cutting your hours. And I think that your emploters can be a bit arsey and not let you go back to your old job, they still have to employ you, but it might not be the same as before....... all of that is either true or I have made it up

BeMyLilBaby · 21/01/2008 12:43

thanks natalie for info!

Things are odd with my mum, she's changed lately, she is my step mum but has raised me since i was 7, i love her dearly, but my dad dies in 04, and we became close, now ive moved out and her BF ( who is ok but not my fave pers) has moved in she seems really distant.... She is the only person ive ever been scared of upsaetting... its awkward xx

NatalieJane · 21/01/2008 12:48

I think it is always diffcult when parents find a new partner. I suppose you have to think what you were like when you first met DP, I expect she felt like she started losing you a little as well.

Playingthewaitinggame · 21/01/2008 12:58

Hi all, back again.

BB - hope you can get it sorted out ok with your Mum, family politics are difficult enough, let alone when you are bringing another member into the family. Also re: maternity pay, the 2009 thing is not a firm date. That it the earliest it will happen and to be honest that is not likely, so you/we probably will be a little bit early to get it!

"A date has not yet been confirmed for when the new right to additional paternity/maternity leave (APL) will come into force, although the Department of Trade and Industry (now the Department for Business, Enterprise and Regulatory Reform) confirmed that it will not be before April 2009.

The Government also intends to eventually increase statutory maternity pay to 52 weeks, expected at the same time as changes to paternity leave before the end of this Parliament in 2009/10."

Playingthewaitinggame · 21/01/2008 13:01

so that means it may not be increased till 2010

Playingthewaitinggame · 21/01/2008 13:02

and there's lots of info about maternity leave online try

www.direct.gov.uk/en/Employment/Employees/WorkAndFamilies/DG_10029285

BeMyLilBaby · 21/01/2008 13:10

Thanks NJ and Playing, i think were firm on may, sowill jsut have to take all mat leave i can get eh?

I think i am naturally more needy (emotionally) than my mum, she has always been very no - nonsense, im jsut going to have to tell her and hope for the best im sure im just panicking.

Actually speaking of emotional and irrational, ive been feeling like it these last few days..crying for no reason think lack of AF has caused a hormone build up one min then desperately the next arg!! xxx

Playingthewaitinggame · 21/01/2008 13:11

Really not an expert on this but I am sure you dont have to repay a penny if you don't go back to work

NatalieJane · 21/01/2008 13:17

BB, how long is it since you MC'ed? and how long have you had the coil? Probably a bit of all that, mixed in with it being January and crappy weather. I heard on the news that today is supposed to be the most depressing day of the year!

Playing, you are probably right, as I said I either read it all somewhere or I've made it up!!

Playingthewaitinggame · 21/01/2008 13:30

Whether or not it is the most depressing day of the year it certainly feels like it!! Its cold, dark, wet, windy and miserable here. Plus at some point today I am going to have to go into town to get my boss his birthday present. Oh well, roll on summer, just had my left over faijatas from yesterday and they tasted so good I am really in the mood for a bbq now!!

NatalieJane · 21/01/2008 13:32

The weather is the same here, I got absolutely drenched taking DS to school and it is only just across the road. Felt, and looked, like a drowned rat.

And I have to go back out there to collect him soon enough

But I am not depressed, infact I feel the most cheery I have felt all year

Diege · 21/01/2008 13:36

Just a bit of added info' on the ML front. I think technically if you take the leave then decide not to go back they MAY ask you to repay a percetage of it, but most don't. This can also be 'got round' by going back for a week or so then handing notice in, so I'm told . Re: not getting your 'old' job back and having to do a different one, this is technically illegal as it's discriminatory. The only exception being if the change would have applied to your job anyway, even if you hadn't been away (in which case others would (usually) also be subject to same changes). I've been through 3 sets of ML, and had to contend with a bit of arsiness, esp after no.3 . They were also really bad about me being signed off when pregnant with dd3 with HG, and rang me up at home telling me I was 'letting the team down' My new job is great (same area, different uni')and the people are lovely. They have such high expectations from me, so I do feel a bit guilty about ttc 4, which is so worng I know - I'd hate to look back at 60 and think I never had a 4th baby because of what they might think at work! Think I'll have to brace myself for general public's comments anyway...ooh, you trying for a boy then? Oooh, you'll have your hands full...are you mad?...is this it then?

Diege · 21/01/2008 13:38

Have to add - while I'm on a roll- does anybody else feel really excited about the whole ttc stuff? That Springtime means something special to what it usually does etc etc...and that there's something really 'nice' about waiting to wait? . Like being in departure lounge at a airport waiting to go on holiday but they've not called your boarding number yet?

NatalieJane · 21/01/2008 13:40

OMG Diege, can't believe they rang you to tell you off, how awful

I already had the 'Are you trying for a girl then?' comments with the miscarriage, people are too bloody insensitive. Never mind the fact that it's got sweet FA to do with them anyway.... sorry! I am going to shush now LOL

Diege · 21/01/2008 13:46

I know, you become public property! I'm dreading telling my mum when/if I'm pregnant. For some bizarre reason she sounded really surprised/disappointed last time and I know she'll wonder what on earth I'm doing. V.odd I know.

NatalieJane · 21/01/2008 13:53

Well, you can't control others reactions/comments/stupidity, no matter how much you'd like to!! I remember when I told my mum about DS1 she wasn't over the moon about it. I was 18, though I was already married to DH and he was very much planned, so I wasn't your typical 'teenage mum', I was still very nervous of telling her about DS2, but she was absolutely fantastic Maybe your mum will surprise you yet?

It's great isn't it? Fully grown adults worried what their mum will think LOL

Playingthewaitinggame · 21/01/2008 14:01

I am incredibly excited about all this waiting to ttc stuff. It actually makes me feel much more proacitve, better than just sitting around desperately wanting to have a baby and feeling like it is out of your control. I feel like I am doing something and learning things here. The more I spend time on here the more real and exciting it feels!

Playingthewaitinggame · 21/01/2008 14:04

Re: telling the mum business. I can understand the nerves, there is always something about a disapproving parent that makes you feel like a child again. I know my Mum will be happy to have grandkids (I am the eldest, so she doesn't have any) but I also think she will be surprised that we have decided to do the kid thing before we buy a house. Not quite sure she will approve, but thats my decision not hers and I am sure she will come round.

NatalieJane · 21/01/2008 14:06

I know how you feel Playing, I think realising I had broken DH over the weekend, was exactly what I need to drag me out of myself.

I don't think I've stopped grinning since

He has deffo decided we will be TTC'ing, he was looking on t'internet yesterday at big family cars for two baby seats and a booster, didn't think he'd ever change his beloved Vectra!

Playingthewaitinggame · 21/01/2008 15:07

I looked up the maternity pay stuff:

"If your baby is due on or after 1 April 2007 you can get SMP for up to 39 weeks, as long as you meet the conditions. If your baby was due earlier than this then SMP is for up to 26 weeks.

If you have the right to receive SMP, you'll get it even if you decide to leave your job before you start receiving SMP. You don't have to repay it if you decide not to go back to work or leave your job whilst getting SMP."

Thats from the website I suggested earlier.