Faith, trust & baby dust! ✨💕✨ TTC 12 months + 🤞🏼 On this rollercoaster together with a little love, support and giggles to get us by! 💕

[HopefulGlow]

Hi all!

We were getting to the end of the previous thread, so thought it’s best to start a new one.

A quick catch up I think mainly everyone on the old thread is as 12 months + TTC.

Newbies are always welcome.

Just sharing our journeys, supporting each other when possible, and having somewhere to moan and let it all out

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@HopefulGlow amazing work on the sewing! It looks lovely!

@Lauralozzle just wanted to ask if you've repeated your Prolactin test by any chance? I had my first bloods done back in Aug last year, which showed elevated Prolactin (over 1000 miu/L), which was re-tested in November, and it was down to 132 miu/L, which is a massive drop. I have spoken to three different doctors who re-assured me that Prolactin is one that can vary even with stress, and also mentioned, for it to be a tumour, it'll need to be much much higher in the 10,000 range. So I wouldn't worry too much about that if you have regular cycles and everything else looks ok. Hope that makes you feel a little better.

@Tinkerbell098 yes, had x2 bloods for prolactin- both elevated just over 1000. I know stress can elevate the levels, I have a new job now that is less stressful. Doctor said for it to be tumour he’d expect it to be way over - I think that’s why he’s just not sure, because my cycles are so regular. It’s hard not to feel stressed after 2.5 years of ttc. Maybe I’m in a constant state of stress!

@Lauralozzle ahhh the dreaded Google searches haha we all do it and sometimes it can be helpful, other times it can make you worry tenfold!!

Thanks for clearing up about Prolactin, I had no idea so it’s great to learn something new 😁

Thank goodness the levels are low too so it’s nothing worrying. Hopefully the fertility specialist can help give reasons for this and solutions.

Private is so expensive, it’s frustrating. Maybe you could dip between private and NHS? Is that something that’s possible? I’m not too sure.

Yeah I’m hoping a dead arm is my only side affect 😂 I did Google getting the booster in your TWW and plenty of people got it and got BFPs so at least that’s one less worry?

@Tinkerbell098 thank you! It’s made me want to sew more, I need to practice though.

Glad your prolactin went down too, stress can cause so many issues and it’s hard not to be stressed when TTC 😅

How’s everyone’s Monday? ✨💕✨

Hey everyone, Happy Monday.

@Lauralozzle - thanks, I did have a long video call with DH last night and he cheered me up as usual. Honestly spent most of yesterday crying - was a really horrible day. This is what I hate about TTC, I'm normally not much of a crier but now I just find myself crying all the bloody time, I hate it! That's a bit rubbish you have nothing to do at work - i've been quite quiet since Christmas too which is unusual as normally i'm always busy. Giving me time to write on here tho haha.

Had my end of year performance review this morning with my boss which was so frustrating - sings my praises, gives me nothing negative or even constructive criticism to work on - then gives me an absolutely average rating. So I ask for areas of improvement, how I can get to the next level etc. and he's giving me absolutely nothing. i ask if he perceives my performance in 2021 to have been any worse/better/same as in 2020 and he can't tell me that either. Such a waste of time and I feel so frustrated with my job atm but like many others I feel stuck while TTC and just praying to get BFP and be able to go on maternity leave for a year LOL.

@HopefulGlow I think technically I can have 1 full round of ivf and still be eligible for NHS but it’s the cost factor and then the delay - any frozen embryos would have to be transferred too before I could go ahead with NHS. I don’t think I could afford IVF and then multiple FETs without a program like access fertility because I don’t think I’d be comfortable knowing I can only afford one round on my own. I think we’d need a package type thing for extra goes for security factor of it all!

If I can get somewhere with the docs by Summer then I’ll keep at it, if I’m still in this position and getting nowhere I think I’ll make a private appointment and what it costs - I know fertility assessment/scans /tests can cost thousands once you’re in it so to speak.

The cynic in me thinks the NHS do this on purpose to weed out people who will go private. Or perhaps I’m just in a bad mood! Lol

Another issue is that we’re in middle of sorting our house out - we have some funds but they’re for spoken for, so to speak. It makes trying to sort funds difficult. Don’t want to wait much longer, but if use our savings on treatment then get pregnant we won’t have the money to make the house safe for a baby! Currently living in a bit of a building site, as we’re saving to sort one room out a time and I got a bit carried away last year ripping out all the skirting boards/getting most of house replastered. It’s not finished yet! We could potentially take out another loan but to be honest, at the moment I don’t think I’m quite there yet!

@LA9610 I’m sorry to hear about your work review. That’s not very helpful! I stuck in my last job last year thinking can’t really leave and waiting for BFP for mat leave! I didn’t want to go into new job then get pregnant/have to go on mat leave shortly after but I was bored and fairly unhappy.

So, in attempt to tempt fate I just bit the bullet and applied for my new job last year, half hoping it’d be sods law that something would happen soon and I’d have to have awkward conversations with my new boss about being pregnant haha. I also am interested in what I’ll be doing, much more so than my old job, so it’s the right thing to have moved - I’m just bored at the moment because my training can’t start properly yet! Hence why I’m here! Haha! Although, Trying to tempt fate isn’t working at the moment!

My Monday is going ok, nothing much to do. My one meeting has been cancelled! Just sat reading policy documents haha. Boring! AF seems to have tapered off now, so now starts the time where I’m waiting for fertility window. Had a late ovulation last month, historically speaking, that usually means this cycle will be short (24 days ish) so expecting the expensive pee sticks to start showing high fertility any point in next few days!

Morning ladies!

Just trying to catch up so apologies if I miss something.

@HopefulGlow that’s great you haven’t got long to wait till your assessment and I’m really glad that OH is being really supportive too. That must be really tough for both of you, I hope that it’ll help speaking to someone about it.

Haha I like that mindset that the Indian was 0 calories 😂, did you manage to find some time for your yoga? - I’ve also been really lazy over Christmas with the exception of one very long walk so wanted to try and get on track and hope it’ll make me feel a bit better too.

I wish our chocolate had gone, we’ve still got so much left and it’s so hard to not snack on them during the day 🙈, so far I’m doing well and having a couple in the evening with a cuppa.

A sewing machine sounds like such a thoughtful gift - I love it.

I’ve not been Italy before but really hoping we can go as it looks so nice and we’re planning on doing some day trips too. For my 30th I’m thinking a city in Europe that does Christmas markets - maybe somewhere in Belgium or Germany?

I love Leeds too! I’m sure you’ll have a lovely time. What are your plans? Food/shopping etc?

Wow two announcements in a row - you did so well not to cry. I think I defo would have 🙈 , hopefully that’s it on the announcement front for a little while.

Realised I’ve only got through your message but don’t want to lose what I’ve wrote so far so will try and catch up on the other messages shortly.

Hope everyone’s doing ok ❤️

@Lauralozzle Just wanted to say welcome!

You’re more than welcome to join but as the others have said I’m so sorry you’re in this position ❤️ 2.5 years feels like such a long time so I’m glad you’re finally getting some help.

The ladies on this group have been so supportive especially in some really hard times for me. I hope we can do the same.

I must admit that I also didn’t know much about prolactin so its been useful to find out, I really hope now they have picked it up they can help.

@LA9610 oh my goodness your manager sounds so frustrating!! The fact you have asked what you can do better too, and still nothing?! They sound like my manager, he sings my praises, says how much of a positive team member I am. Then come pay rise month I get 0.97% 😂 the lowest out of all my team!!! When I asked him about it he said “oh I know it’s awful but it’s out of my hands” but I know full well he bloody decides it! Since then I’ve been on/off looking for new work.

For me it’s not actually knowing what I want to do 😅 I love being creative and doing the stuff I’m doing now but I wish I could find a less corporate job, oh and more money!! 😂 because my pay is shocking at the moment. I’m lucky OH gets paid well.

Do you know what work you would want to go into? I would ignore the BFP for now and focus on getting a job you feel valued in and enjoy? That could help do you think?

So sorry you were so upset today, I hate those days. They always take it out of you too. I’m very happy you got to call with you DH and he made you feel better 🥰 how is his trip away going?

@Lauralozzle ah ok, that’s good to know you could mix them if you had the opportunity. I don’t know exactly how expensive IVF is but I can only imagine! I found some good test prices private but that’s only the tests, that’s not any help/support or treatment after, it’s crazy!

But I think you are right, the NHS do it so the people who can pay, do! It saves them money. I think summer is a good deadline though, good thinking!!

@AZ1992X tbh I’m feeling much better this week, even with those announcements I didn’t cry although I was low. I think I cried too much last week haha I’ve ran out now 😂

My OH is struggling a little too now. He said it’s all around him. I did remind him that he scans pregnant ladies for a living 😂 but he said that’s just his work so he can separate it when he’s there. But now he has it at work and everywhere else. So at least I know I’m not the only one seeing it.

Ever since you mentioned your Indian I’ve been craving one, so I put it on our menu board this week 😁❤️ I did manage to do some yoga thanks. Only 25 minutes but it was a good flow, I’m going to aim to do another tomorrow. I’m so lazy now haha I used to do Zumba or yoga every other day and now I much prefer sitting and sewing or playing a game 😅

I think a Christmas market sounds perfect! Hopefully you will get snow 😍😍😍 that’s on my bucket list, they all look so magic. So you will have an amazing birthday 🎉

I’ve not been to Leeds before so I’m really excited. We got this hotel spa offer which includes one treatment and we are going to a restaurant called Tattu. It looks so nice. If you recommend anything let me know!

Wants everyone’s plans this week?

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Oops sorry ladies, I've fallen a wee bit behind 🤣👀

@HopefulGlow your cushion and skirt look amazing!! Well done you! I wish I was good at sewing 🥰

@LA9610 sorry about your review. That's disappointing but I'm also feeling the same about the maternity leave 🤞🏻🤣

I've probably missed loads more on here... how's everyone's day going?

Hi everyone, I hope it's okay if I join this thread. Starting this month, it's been 12 months now TTC and honestly I'm just over it by now.
The whole journey started so good actually, after three years marriage and 11 years together we decided to give it a shot, got pregnant in the first month really trying but ended up being a chemical. I was almost relieved as it happened so fast, I thought I wasn't really ready yet. Tried again in March or April, got a BFP again in June that ended up in an ectopic pregnancy, I had to remove one of my tubes. Took a break again and started TTC again in August, but nothing since then. Went to acupuncture, even tried a fertility massage once which was nice but I didn't click with the woman who was doing the massages.
I did bloodwork three months ago to see if everything is okay, I mean I know we were able to get pregnant but still, we're both no spring chickens anymore. Everything was alright, doctor was happy about the blood results.
Two cycles ago I decided to not use the cb monitor anymore and try not to track other than with an app, in hopes to not to get too invested. But that is easier said than done. We only managed to DTD once in the fertile week last cycle but I was still bummed when AF showed up yesterday.
As I said, I'm so over it. I think I could accept it if a doctor would tell me that I won't be able to have children. But that limbo, it makes me crazy.
Sorry for the long ramble. It's just not my day or week. I hope you all are having a better time than I'm having right now. I'll soak myself in the bathtub tonight and drink some wine, and tomorrow will be a different day.

Hi ladies,

@HopefulGlow sorry for the big delay, I didn’t get the tag notification and today popped on to see how you all were and spotted it.

Sorry to hear about those having a tough start to the year with rubbish job situations, stressy house moves, announcements, general January blues, and everything else!

All okay at this end, work is a bit slow and I’m struggling to get any enthusiasm back after Christmas - I’ll just blame it on Jan 😂

Won’t go into too much detail but all okay with bump too, starting to fly in a little now which is a welcome change from the drag of the first couple of months.

Sending you all lots of love and good vibes as always ♥️

@Bundaberg84 welcome, so sorry about your journey so far. Must be incredibly tough! This really does make us crazy, it's so hard on all of us❤️❤️ enjoy your well deserved bath & wine xx

@Amy259 glad to hear you & bump are keeping well 🥰

@xoJellyBean thank you lovely! Instead of bath and wine I had overtime at work and being angry with DH. Not entirely relaxing ;) But I still feel a tad better today.

@AZ1992X thank you.

@Bundaberg84 welcome. Sorry to hear about your troubles so far, that sounds really tough. I hope you’re feeling a bit better today.

I’m clock watching like a mad woman at the moment, it’s only quarter past two. This week has dragged so far!!!

Morning ladies!

Works really busy this week so I’ve just wanted to do nothing in the evening, apologies for not keeping up with you all.

Can I just say that I feel you all on the work front - this past year I’ve been told I’m doing more than I should be eg extra responsibilities and that they are working on getting me a pay rise/promotion and nothing. Tbh I don’t think it’s going to happen now. I’m stuck in the same position as some of you do I go elsewhere but then worry if I get pregnant quick and they will be annoyed.

@HopefulGlow Glad you’re feeling a little better this week.
Wow I cannot believe that he scans pregnant people for a living! That defo would make it hard being around it all the time.

😂 have you.. tbf I do love an Indian.

I’m the same and find it so hard to get motivated to work out. I really enjoy walking but it’s not really a good work out. I’m going to try and do another workout this weekend as I know once AF arrives I’ll not want to do anything then. Do you do online classes for yoga or just know what to do? , never really tried it.

Your weekend away to Leeds sounds perfect! Spa and some nice food. I’m sure you’ll have a great time. I’ve heard of the restaurant but never been so you’ll have to let me know if it’s worth going.

@Bundaberg84 Welcome, I’m so sorry to hear you’ve had a tough time. Please don’t say sorry for expressing your feelings - I think it’s important to get your emotions out. I felt that’s really helped me when going through some bad times and being able to speak to others who are also struggling.

I’ve unfortunately had two losses trying to conceive - 1 miscarriage last May and then a chemical in November just gone and at the time I thought it isn’t going to happen. I’ve spoken to my gp who’s been really great and if I have a third loss they’ve said they will refer me to gynaecology for investigations. Have you had any chance to speak to your gp about next steps?

@Amy259 Glad you and bump are doing okay and time is starting to go past a bit quicker now ❤️ X

@AZ1992X thank you for your reply! Yes, as I don't live in the UK it's a bit different for us, I never spoke with a GP but always with a gynaecology specialist. I had bloodwork done last November to check my hormone levels, all was fine for my age. And as we managed to get pregnant twice before they don't suspect anything "wrong", but getting pregnant with only one tube just takes longer. But I think I will ask for further investigations if it doesn't happen for another two months, hycosy to check if the remaining tube works or not might be a solution.
But for now, I decided to stop going to acupuncture and other fertility related things I've done in the past, and I just paid for a 1 month trial pass in a yoga centre close to me. I hope that will take my mind off of things for a bit.

Hey everyone,

I sent an e-consult yesterday and just heard back from doctors. Good news in that endocrinologist (hormone specialists) are not concerned and don’t need to see me as my levels, though high, do not appear to be interfering with ovulation or anything. Bad news is referral hasn’t been sent off as they need a chalmydia swab so I’m picking that up this afternoon - need to do it on Sunday for it to be dropped off to the surgery on Monday. When they has come back, should them get the referral. Glad I contacted them! Otherwise I don’t think they would have told me!

I hope everyone is having a decent week.

Happy Thursday ladies. My quiet time at work did not last long hence why ive fallen behind on messages again!

@HopefulGlow - He honestly is so frustrating but i've decided to take things into my own hands and if not getting development support from him then i'll get elsewhere. I've contacted the interim head of another function who is one of my stakeholders and she has agreed to spend some time with me so going to meet with her at the end of the month.

To be honest I really don't want to move jobs at this stage, even though i'm not 100% happy right now, because I just don't want to compromise maternity pay. I know a lot of people decide not to put their lives on hold but it's important to me to take at least a full year off (given I will be on my own 50% of the time) and I just cant risk moving to another company that may not have as good a maternity policy or I might not be there long enough to qualify! Plus I don't want the stress of having to learn a new role right now. I'm not even sure if I will be end up going back to be honest as childcare costs might mean it makes more sense to stay at home for a few years so again, I wouldn't want to find a job I absolutely love and then make it harder to make that decision and give it up.

Ohh some exciting news today, DH has finally got his SA appointment through for the 2nd February. In not exciting news AF came exactly as I expected she would on Tuesday! I swear I honestly know my body so well at this point that I know when my period is going to come down to the day even if that's earlier than its supposed to come!

@Bundaberg84 - welcome! Sorry to hear you are also experiencing difficulties, sounds like quite a traumatic 12 months you have had - sending love and you have come to the right place xx

Happy Saturday everyone! Sorry for the big message but I’m going to be catching up on replies haha

@xoJellyBean I mean I do enjoy sewing but I’m not sure about being good at it haha just don’t look closely at my projects and they’re okay haha what do you like doing as a hobby?

@Bundaberg84 welcome and so sorry to read your awful journey too. You’ve been through so much and it’s so hard to stay positive. There are some lovely ladies on here who have been through similar and they are an amazing support.

What’s the next step for you? It’s good your results came back positive, but it also makes you question why things aren’t happening too?!

Oh my goodness hi @Amy259 thanks so much for checking in! I know it must be weird talking about it on here but please know we are all so happy for you and we know you understand and appreciate the journey too ❤️ So happy you and bump are doing well ❤️

@AZ1992X
Yeah it’s difficult but I also like hearing about some of the ladies he scans. One lady was 42, she was coming in for an early check up. She had 2 miscarriages, 1 still birth and 1 chemical. She has been through so much and she finally has her little rainbow baby. He likes to tell me these stories so I know we aren’t alone and sadly there are so many people who have been through worse than I have. It gives me perspective and helps me stay positive.

It’s also nice hearing him get so excited about it all. He wants to scan me regularly and do a growth chart Photo book, I though that was such a lovely idea. I try not to get too jokey and negative because I usually say “if it ever happens” 🙈🤦🏼‍♀️

I don’t really know what I’m doing haha I started doing a zoom class with my friend in the first lockdown. Sadly she stopped doing them when she miscarried too. Then we started doing YouTube videos. There’s a channel called White Wolf Yoga, she does some great ones. I try to do more exercise but I prefer walking, Zumba or yoga as I can’t run to save my life haha

Walking is still good though! It’s better than nothing :) what exercise would you love to do? When I see people running and jogging I want to applaud them because I couldn’t do it haha I would look like phoebe off friends haha 🏃‍♀️

I will let you know what the food is like, it looks so good and there’s a lot of veggie stuff i want to try!

@Lauralozzle great news about your results but annoying about the chlamydia test! I’m not sure why some doctors like you having them?! Weird! Hopefully wants that done they can get the ball rolling.

@LA9610 hi! It seems like we had the same week haha this week was so busy at work and I did not expect it haha

Good news about going over his head! If you’re working your ass off and he’s not supporting you, I’m glad you’ve gone to someone else. Hopefully they will have a good chat and let you know some options and steps you can take.

Oh my goodness you’re so right. I hadn’t even thought of the maternity pay benefits 🤦🏼‍♀️ I wish I could stay at home until the baby goes to nursery then go part time too! We will see. Is that your plan? I can’t imagine going back when they’re still so young, but obviously it’s not that easy for everyone.

Great news about your DH SA! It’s not long at all. I’m hoping everything goes well ❤️ Really sorry about AF, but it’s amazing you knew if was going to come!!

I honestly am so on and off with symptoms that I never know and it makes me think I won’t know when I’m pregnant either 😩 I always thought you just know. But apparently it’s not that simple haha

AF is due tomorrow. And although I have no symptoms, that does not make me feel positive.

It’s so hard not to be a pessimist in this TTC journey!!!

I’m going to try and do some cleaning and sewing today, try and keep busy.

What’s everyone’s plans this weekend? ✨💕✨

@xoJellyBean @AZ1992X @HopefulGlow thank you all 🥰

It’s definitely not that I don’t want to share with you all, it’s more that I know only too well that some days it would be harder to read than on other days, and I would never want someone’s day to be made worse by something I posted here ♥️

Always here, lurking in the background, creepy as ever… 😂

@Amy259 I’m glad everything is going well! Success stories are heartening to hear and read.

@HopefulGlow I know right, stupid chlamydia test! I’ve only had one partner and that’s my husband so erm… yeah, likely to be negative!

I thought, given history, this month would be a short cycle but I’ve had flashing smiley faces from the expensive pee stick for past 3 days so might actually be a normal one this month. Actually going to try and make a concerted effort to time DTD this month. Past couple of months I’ve been so irritated by it all I’ve just thought fuck it it’s not going to work anyway, but, I’m going to give it a good try haha. 100% expect it to be a pointless effort but you know… miracles could happen!

It’s my birthday weekend so tonight I’m meeting up with friends for a meal, tomorrow I’m visiting my dad for my birthday for dinner. Then on Monday strict diet because my bmi is like 29.8 and it could easily go over if I don’t reign it in!!

@Lauralozzle thank you ♥️

I can’t remember who it was, but someone mentioned the waiting being horrendous for them, like 2 more years of referral waiting or something?

I just wanted to mention that when I asked our NHS trust what I could do to speed that up, the gynaecologist told me I could pay for a private hycosy and if that found anything, that automatically moves you to the (much shorter) list for getting help? Because they know what’s wrong. Rather than having to wait for the referral for investigation.

I know it’s not an option for everyone, but we used savings to pay for one as it would’ve saved us over a year’s wait in Glasgow if they’d found something. If they hadn’t found anything then our position in the list wouldn’t have changed, but it was worth checking for us.

Just thought I’d mention it just in case anyone is in the limbo part waiting on more tests via gynaecology/fertility dept. Although I’m sure everyone has already thought of every possible way to speed things up ♥️

@Amy259 we understand and appreciate that! But I’m very happy to know you’re creeping in the shadows haha

I didn’t know about doing private tests to speed things up on the NHS list, that’s really good to know. Thank you ❤️

@Lauralozzle and they still made you do one?? That’s so ridiculous! But anything to make these referrals speed up haha 😁

Yay for the flashing smileys!! That’s definitely what you want 🎉 I would go for it!! At least then you know you’ve done all you can. I know how disheartening it can get though.

I didn’t manage to LH test this month because I couldn’t find them while unpacking boxes haha but still went for it over the FW so who knows?!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! Your weekend sounds lovely, where are you going for a meal? (Sorry I just love food so have to ask) haha

Oh gosh I hate BMI! I’m 5ft8 and constantly feel like my weight is up and down. It’s good to monitor it though. My weights not come into any enquiries at the doctors though which is a bit weird, I thought they would have wanted to know that info too. 🤔

Let loose for your birthday then behave after, that sounds like a great idea! Haha ✨💕✨

Hi ladies! Sorry been quiet this week - AF arrived Tuesday for me too along with cramps and a message from my friend to say she was pregnant. Probably a good thing I heard from her a day I was already feeling down! @HopefulGlow sewing looks amazing! I’ve done some myself in the past but am limited to badly sewed Halloween costumes and cushion covers! I haven’t thought about if and what I do for a social media announcement - I’m generally pretty open about ttc if people ask me now though

@Bundaberg84 welcome! I’m sorry thah you’ve had such a tough journey. Fingers crossed the worst is behind you!

@Amy259 congrats and pleased everything is going well for you! That’s great advice on the tests.

I’ve put on weight and want to lose it but also worried about trying to lose weight when ttc. Is that an issue??

Hope everyone is well and enjoying their weekend! I’m so sorry to the people feeling down about work - I was speaking to friends today and it’s amazing just how many people aren’t loving their jobs atm - maybe it’s the age we are all at???

What’s everyone doing for Sunday? I’m sorry if I’ve missed any messages from anyone - I missed notifications and there was a lot to go through!! Xx