TTC 35+ Thread 12

[Misty84]

Hope this works girls, haven’t done this before, we’ve run out of space on the other thread.
@thislittlebird @ElsieG3m @Marvellouslymadmum @KatRee @Anxiouswannabe

@thislittlebird I've taken both again this morning, they're not really helping!
The annoying thing with the cars is that there's no end in sight - because it's to do with the coMputer chips delayed by the pandemic and now the fuel thing hasn't helped! And because of the issues with brand new cars all the nearly new and few years old cars are being all bought up too! I've taken a pic of the letter Nissan just sent us

Oh no, that doesn’t sound good. Hopefully it’ll be better soon @Marvellouslymadmum

Yeah the chip thing has caused chaos. Fingers crossed it won’t be too delayed, I haven’t even considered how long it could all be delayed, which just decided we might lease a car and see how we like it in the new year. Both the cars we like aren’t out until next year anyway!

@thislittlebird I hope so too! So our car was ten week wait when we first ordered and then changed after 7 weeks to 17 weeks but who knows when it'll actually be ready! Our is the new model qashqai which I think has made it worse too because it's the new model

@Marvellouslymadmum qashqai’s are nice. I’m not a confident driver so when we get a car I’m worried about getting anything much bigger than what we have already. I’m contemplating the new Peugeot 308 or the new Toyota Yaris Cross. it’s funny, my neighbour just had a Nissan Juke appear on her drive and I thought of you! They must have got it because of this ULEZ thing, their previous car was old.

@thislittlebird I'll drive anything me, we have a big van that I drive around, it's currently waiting for a new gearbox and to be finished converting into a mobile nail salon. We looked at the 3008's but were told back in august that there wouldn't be one available until February! Looked at a Toyota ch-r as well but wasn't big enough for the teenagers. What's a ULEZ?

@Marvellouslymadmum I’m just not a car person and not a confident driver so it takes me a while to adjust. I think we’ll be getting automatic for the first time so I find it easier. The in laws have a 3008, I like the look of them.

ULEZ is the ultra low emissions zone. It’s been extended to us so it’s £15 per day to drive around in the ULEZ unless you have a low emissions vehicle!!! Luckily ours is ok, that good little 208 meets the criteria.

Are you getting back in to your nail business again?

@thislittlebird wow that's expensive! That is lucky that yours meets the criteria! I've been doing a few clients here and there and once the van is up and running I will be doing alot more yes. I'm also looking at renting a beauty room a couple of days a week for other treatments, plus I've been doing a Microblading course too so need a room for that

Can I join you....I’ll be 35 in 11 and half hours (also the day AF due, thanks universe!) most of my friends either have children or are not thinking about it yet so, it’s can get lonely!

@Carla2601 a slightly happy birthdays and welcome to the 35 and overs club 🥳

It used to be busier around here and now there’s a few of us who have been here ages hanging around so very happy for new people to join the chat! And yes, it can definitely get lonely.

@Marvellouslymadmum that all sounds exciting, when are you hoping to be up and running? I’m not doing much right now, except planning DH’s 40th. Corona just makes everything harder to navigate.

I just want to predict that this second Letrozole hasn’t worked. I won’t know until next weekend for sure, but I am pretty sure it hasn’t worked again. I’m going to get a progesterone blood test tomorrow.

Thanks @thislittlebird; I’ll try and read back and see where you’re all at so I can join in 😂. We’re also about to be in the ULEZ zone or just on the outskirts so car shopping might be on the list. Currently have a 3 door, buying a 5 door feels like tempting fate but not doing will (hopefully) be wasteful!

@Carla2601 most of active here right now are what I will call the longers 😩. One day I might get to graduate from this thread, who knows 🙃

We’re in south east London, you must be in London too? I hate those thoughts, I worry about getting a bigger house and never having a baby to fill it, and never having a need for the bigger car we might buy soon. It’s silly, but it does cross my mind. We have a 5 door Peugeot 208, we got lucky it’s already low emissions and tax is only £20 per year. We might get the new Peugeot 308 out next year. A bit bigger but not hugely and still low emissions.

@thislittlebird I’m sure you will, although I know it doesn’t feel like that when it’s not happening. The worst! My one in the same boat friend is now pregnant (which I am genuinely thrilled about but well, you can imagine/know I’m sure!).

Yes also South London! Our car is over 8 years old so I’m sure it can’t be low emissions enough, although I checked and I can use it to get our dog (better treated than most humans) to the vet (where she goes all the time because if anything happened to her I’m actually not sure I could cope 😂🙈) without going into the zone so that’s a win! Thanks for saying you have the same feelings....it’s awful thinking it and not knowing if you’re mad. At least if I am I’m not the only one! Haha. I’m ringing the doctor first thing in the morning to get my appointment as now I’m 35 I think I can, so I might well be here a while too as I think there’s a fair wait isn’t there

@Carla2601 have you just started ttc? There’s no wait for the initial tests it’s just further down the line there’s the waiting 🙃. You’ll probably be fine, most people are.

It’s been two years for us now and we’re on the ivf waiting list but it took a lot of fighting and second opinions to get there. Me and the internal scan are well acquainted 😐

I’m ngl, I’m not very pleased for people anymore, and I’m expecting my friends to have baby 2 before we get near to 1. I’m just sad it’s never us, but I think the bitterness is an unfortunate side effect of infertility.

We’re lucky our car is ok or we’d be shifting it quicker. Should be useful to sell it on too.

I wish, no. We started trying last June (2020) but then had to stop in October as my husband lost his job (Covid). Then we started trying again as soon as he got a new one in Feb so overall it’s been over 12 goes if that makes sense (really wish we didn’t stop now but you worry it might actually work and you won’t be able to pay for it).

I’m sorry - it’s just rubbish isn’t it. I hope you get some answers, I feel like maybe clarity is helpful but then I’m also not sure, maybe ignorance is bliss.

We did get a puppy (caveat I’m not even sure I liked dogs before) and she’s helped so so much. I’m totally in love with her and she does make it a tiny bit easier every month. Any other tips you girls have are welcome as I only found these forums after a weekend away with friends who all have children and the last one got pg by ‘only having sex once’. I couldn’t cope so I thought I’d make some new online friends who might be a more understanding bunch, lol! X

Sorry I’ve just realised maybe you already have that clarity from all your scans! I hope you move up the waiting list quickly so you can get started (although I know it’s super tough too from my friends who’ve been through it but given how hard it sounds like you’ve had it and how hard you’ve fought I hope your chance comes ASAP) x

@Carla2601 yeah, totally know what you mean. We stopped a few times for decent reasons like my ill health, but we should have started trying earlier but I was worried about not having been in my job long enough. I know that was silly now but you worry about this stuff.

I think ignorance is bliss but I’m glad I know. All my life the message from health professionals was essentially ‘regular periods = you’re fine’ but I’ve learned a lot from all those tests, and scans and more tests. I might have PCOS or have it borderline and don’t ovulate optimally. I definitely don’t have much progesterone, I just went for a day 21 blood test to check my levels and I’ll get the results tomorrow. I just know they’ll be low, I can’t explain it, but I don’t feel like I’m pre-menstrual or hormonal despite being on pessaries. We are on the Guys waiting list for IVF but considering a private round while we we wait.

So you’re going to the GP for the first time, basically?

My childless friends all had babies in lockdown 🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃

@thislittlebird yeah it’s so easy to look back and wish you’d done things differently isn’t it. But we can’t change that now - I guess we just have to try and stay positive. Getting AF this morning for my birthday having been super nauseous all weekend for a clearly unrelated reason really tested my resolve!

I so hear you on that. I’ve been tracking my periods for over 18 months and within a day they’re super regular, I ovulate and get the smiley face on the clear blue (just got some amazon cheapies to supplement and test more regularly) and my doctors appointment is for next Tuesday. I literally called as soon as they opened so that was the best they could do. I did say I might need a blood test so I’m hoping they’ll be able to fit me in as I guess that’s now 3 weeks today so plenty of time post appointment. I get super hormonal right before my period, v v grouchy (I’m reliably informed) and very hungry so I thought I was fine but I think it’s safe to say I’m not. This is a stupid reason to be gutted but my mums 60 in December and she’s amazing and I so so was hoping to be able to tell her I’m FINALLY pregnant for her birthday but I guess that’s gone now.

We’re also thinking about skipping NHS and going private whilst we wait (being in London, and wanting two ideally, with the cost of childcare we’d need a gap....SO MANY THINGS!!!)

I’m really hoping you get the call up soon, I don’t know why I think this but I feel like Guys would be a really good place (based on nothing apart from brand I guess) - did they give you an approximate time it might take?

I was thinking I’d have tests on NHS to see if they can identify what the problem is then try and get the right treatment privately for speed but I’m not sure if that’s a good strategy so I’ll just see what they say, I feel a bit lost at the moment so I’m hoping that will help.

Thanks so much for replying - feels nicer to have someone to talk to but obvs prioritise yourself so don’t feel you have to keep replying if I’m being a lot!! X

@thislittlebird also can they give you anything else to boost it at all? Sorry I’m terrible as I know so little (apart from what they tell me on the TTC podcast I listen to) Maybe they won’t be low. I’ll be really hoping for good results and thinking about you!

Hi @Carla2601 and welcome, happy birthday! Totally understand the loneliness, all my friends have grown up children (as do I - two teens and my partner has two but none together) and some of my friend have little ones and it's hard to know who you can talk to!
We had a Mmc in 2017 then stupidly waited to try again until April 2018, been trying ever since! Obviously we are not eligible for nhs ivf but have been given three rounds of clomid to try which should be starting next week once af arrives. I am now 42, have adenomyosis and probable endometriosis but the consultant I'm under just says it's secondary infertility due to my age! My rule is now - never wait! Even if that is a bit late for me lol

@thislittlebird not sure really, because the vans going to cost a lot to fix the gearbox I'm not sure when it'll get done, especially with Christmas coming up too, but looking to rent a room for Microblading once I've finished my qualification.
Why do you think this round of letrozole hasn't worked for you?

@Carla2601 oh no, 35th birthday AF is very crappy. Sorry about the visitor but happy birthday! Hopefully you can do something nice today. I’ve got to the point where I know every bloody ‘symptom’ isn’t a symptom really, it pisses me off, no idea where they come from.

Yeah, you should have time for bloods test this cycle, make sure they do day 3 tests too, mine didn’t do that and they’re supposed to. You might be fine, it does just take some people longer, but it’s good to know what’s going on so you can deal with it. Make sure your DH gets an SA too, we have male factor as well as my issues. That’s the reason we’ve been referred for ivf, they don’t care about my progesterone or ovulation 🥴. I think it will be low unfortunately, I don’t get sore boobs, don’t get cramps, don’t get anything really, just my period. I used to get hormonal migraines regularly and they stopped last year which concerns me, makes me think my hormones just stopped being normal. I do get moody, hungry etc sometimes but it’s not every month. This month I feel the same on day 20 as I did on day 1 really, but I was emotional the last couple of days. That could be the progesterone pessaries. Wrt what more they can do, they could give me double the dose of pessaries (standard for ivf anyway) or progesterone injections. DH would probably have to administer them, I’m not convinced I can do it myself yet.

All these milestones are annoying tbh. I wanted to be pregnant in a year, I wanted to have a baby before I was 38, 39, 40 (still in with a shot with the last one) I wanted to be pregnant by the time my husband’s 40th rolled round (next month 😔) so we could tell people like you with your mum’s 60th. I’ve achieved none of these things, I wanted the option to have a second but don’t see it as realistic now. I’ll be fine if we can have one at this stage.

I would definitely get some private tests to supplement your nhs ones. You may find it’s all fine, but it’s useful to know what your ovarian reserve (AFC/AMH) is like to make informed decisions.

Thanks! What ttc podcast are you listening to? I listen to a few off and on.

Guys told us 2-3 months on Aug 31 (when we were added to the waiting list). I now know it will be more like 5 months because my cycles fall at the end of the month so I’ll hit the Christmas closures, so we’re talking late January/egg collection February and probably an embryo transfer in April if I need a freeze all (sorry if all of this is gibberish to you, so ask if I’m talking gobbledygook) ...ugh. Typing it out makes me annoyed again. We have the option to do a private round in November, but it’s complicated again by my November cycle starting around the time of my husband’s birthday when we’ll be in Cornwall 🤦 . I have not worked out how to navigate any of this, I’m going to have to email the private clinic and ask what days I’d need to be in for scans etc.

It’s fine, this stuff has taken over my life so I’m very open to chat about it all! It’s hard, we don’t have anyone in our lives to talk to about it usually.

@Marvellouslymadmum when is the course going to be done? Exciting though!

I just don’t feel any different. Last month was the same, no symptoms, no PMS type feelings from the progesterone supplementation. I don’t think my body is even aware it’s in there 😩. I will see what the test comes back with tomorrow, but the timing is awkward. I had the trigger injection last Friday, and I suspect I ovulated maybe last Sunday (if I did...). I got the test today, so possibly a little more than 7 days after but not much.

@Marvellouslymadmum thank you! Really hoping the clomid works, I’m hoping they might give me that while I wait to give it a go but that’s probably wishful thinking!

@thislittlebird that’s a lot for anyone to take on! Re boobs I’m very flat chested and anecdotally my equally boob challenged friends say they never had that symptom when pregnant. Not sure if that applies to you or is remotely useful. have he has his appointment next month....his understanding is basically zero so in a weird way I’m hoping it’s me because I feel like maybe I can be more proactive. That’s good advice. Is the clinic you used good, or if anyone has any recommendations they’d be gratefully received.

I listen to big fat negative (ironically to get an understanding for my friend who was going through this - for different reasons due to treatment for an illness) but at least I know some stuff from listening to try and be informed when she wanted to chat. She’s pregnant now of course!!

That’s such a frustratingly long time for you to wait but hopefully November might work out as that’s not too long away. And regardless I hope you can have a super fun 40th celebration for him! Options are good aren’t they, I feel like while there’s options there’s hope.

I have shorter cycles (25-27 days but normally 26). The one good thing about that is the next chance comes quick so I’m gutted today but actually by this time next week I’ll (maybe if I am at all!!!) be fertile so at least it feels like I have a chance (appreciating I might actually have close to zero chance but just don’t know that yet). Mentally I think that helps a bit as I don’t have so much time to dwell.

Hopefully you won’t need a freeze as guessing you could then get your transfer sooner? I’ll be hoping LOADS that you get your baby or at the very least your BFP before your big birthday x

@thislittlebird I'm supposed to have my assessment on 10th if all goes to plan!

Well 🤞🏻 for surprise huge amounts of progesterone this time for you!!

@Carla2601 thank you, I'm not hopeful unfortunately as I think the endo will still be preventing pregnancy but hey ho worth a go!

@Marvellouslymadmum anything’s worth a go I guess. It’s hard isn’t it because so many people say that’s the thing that helped but then I guess the major factor is what the issue is in the first place. I’m hoping I can get to that before Xmas but feels ambitious. 🤞 for clomid wins for you x