Trying to conceive over 40

[October1979]

Here is a new thread for us girls

@Honey2 I’m so sorry about your bad experience with the midwife. It sounds like a truly awful time. I hope you recover quickly.

Yes I’d definitely speak to the GP. Ask you get your thyroid and vitamin D levels checked plus a full blood count. If you’re not wanting a referral it’s still worth having a chat with the Gp to see if there’s anything they can suggest. Some gps are clueless about progesterone. I really had to fight to get it. Luckily I found a good GP with a gynae interest. Sadly she’s retired now but she gave me the prescription for progesterone and then I had my ds. When we fell pregnant after Christmas my new GP said I couldn’t have the progesterone as there’s no evidence it works. Tommy’s did the prism trial and it did seem to save some pregnancies. I talked my Gp into letting me have it. I was also told to take aspirin from bfp. Some doctors say take it all the time.

It might be worth asking how long a referral to recurrent miscarriage clinic might take. It might not be too long. I really hope you get some answers. Xx

Hi Everyone, OK if I join the thread? I'm 40 and ttc for the first time (previously married and thought I didn't want children but have now met someone who I want to parent with).
I stopped taking the pill last Aug, periods have been regular 24/25 day cycles (apart from one cycle that was 5 days longer than normal). I'm currently on day 19 of my cycle and started cramping and light bleeding yesterday, 6 days before AF due. Feels like period cramping, though a bit less blood and more watery, I'm wondering if it is implantation bleeding or something else. Anyone else had cramping and bleeding at the implantation stage? I know it's different for everyone.
Thanks all x

Hi @Portlandia and welcome. I've conceived 4 times in the last 15 months. Although no successful pregnancies I think egg quality has been the main issue for me. Each time I had cramping around the implantation stage. But no bleeding or spotting. Everyone is different though. My cycle is 26 days and trying for baby number 1 so quite similar. Good luck x

Hi @Lastyearttc good luck in the 2ww how many dpo are you? I'm in the fertile week although DH is away golfing and won't be back till tomorrow. I've managed to dtd Friday and hoping we will get in a couple more tries over next 2 days before ovulation.
@Catconfusion just realised I didn't answer your question on baby aspirin. I'm unsure. Think I will take it 3/4 times per week up to bfp then every day if I get a bfp. I definitely had more success since taking it randomly over last 4 cycles. Nothing from feb - Dec and since taking it have conceived 3 out of 5 cycles. Might be a coincidence but maybe I have inflammation of the womb and aspirin helped. Who knows x

Hey @October1979 I'm 6dpo... so got a WHOLE week until af due. I'm actually going away on a girlie trip on Friday so I might test then so I know whether to drink or not! I'll be 11dpo then so any advice which test to buy in advance would be great anyone? I've got ics but know they are notoriously bad for showing positives until late. I need confirmation Friday am 😂
So hard this ttc are our age... one day I'm like, yes it's totally possible, the next the chances are so small I need to move on

@October1979
Thanks for the welcome and for sharing your experience, I am sorry to hear of your struggles, it must be an emotional roller-coaster for you, hope things are on the up for you soon.
If I'm still bleeding and cramping after tomorrow I'm going to seek advice from a gp, and/or take a frer. X

Sounds like a good plan@Portlandia. @Lastyearttc I would take a first response early response. I've always shown up at 11dpo with them

@Catconfusion thanks I think I will book a call with the GP. Fingers crossed I get a good one!

@Lastyearttc yes I second the First response early tests - both times I’ve got an obvious line at 10dpo. Good luck!

@Portlandia welcome! I had cramping and some implantation bleeding when I conceived last month.. bleeding was very very light and lasted for 3 days. Sadly I lost the preg but I don’t think that was anything to do with the bleeding. Good luck I hope you get a positive test xx

@October1979 I was a fan of aspirin - my consultant prescribed it after my late loss as they were concerned about anti phospholipid syndrome. Most of the reading I have done says it can only do more good than harm. Personally I have decided NOT to take it if I go for TTC next month. I have taken it the last 2 months and both times when I had early scans there spotted a bleed next to the pregnancy sac. Could be completely unrelated but I have decided to try without this time and see if that makes any difference. I am 99% sure my mc’s were bad eggs, but I am going to try without.

@Honey2 I think it's definitely worth seeing your gp and getting them to do some tests and speaking to them about recurrent mc, they should be investigating for you

Hi @Portlandia I've not had cramping around implantation with my pregnancies but did have ib with one of them, it was just very light and there when I wiped for a few days

@Littlemiss40andfabulous how are things going? I need some positive stories right now as been feeling a little down about everything this weekend. Anyone else feeling the same?

Hi @Mum2baby07 and everyone else,

I am progressing nicely I think. 7 weeks and 2 days today and mild, intermittent nausea has set in. On a scale of one to ten it's a 1/2 and isn't putting me off my food when I eat it but making me aware of not wanting to eat much (and at the same time feel very hungry).

I'm also quite tired and needed 2 full on 20 minute naps yesterday where I literally couldn't keep my eyes open. Am glad I can work at my own pace from home at the moment.

This positive pregnancy came after my most despondent month yet, and was such a surprise. I really hope the same happens to you guys soon too x

Thanks @Honey2 and @Marvellouslymadmum
I rang the gp this morning as the bleed seems more like a period now, and I'm feeling rough and it's 7 days early, they asked about bleeding after sex which I have had a few times, but only within a few days after my period so I didn't think anything of it as nhs website says that's still a period if the bleed is within 2 days. Gp wants me to go in for an examination and then likely refer me for ultrasound which freaking me out, also mentioned smear test. My sis has endo so it's probably that or ectropion I'm guessing. I cried lots after the call to gp as it's the first time I've been offered further investigation despite suffering heavy painful periods all my life, I've only ever had meds thrown at me before or evening primrose oil which obvs doesn't even touch the sides. Think it made me realise how much suffering I've been through when the nurse actually listened to me and responded empathically. Feeling a bit fed up of having a womb tbh.

Hello ladies

Do you mind if I join your thread, please?

I'm recently 42 and started TTC #2 some 14 months ago, though it took me 2 months for my period to arrive so it's really been 12 months altogether. My cycles used to be every 32-35 days but I brought that down to 29 days with maca powder, which seems to be regulating my hormones. I take 5mg of folic acid and 200mg of Ubiquinol daily. I'm also trying to give my diet an overhaul as I've let things get out of control and have gained around 2 stone in the last year.

I think I had a CP a few months ago but can't be certain. It was difficult to know for definite whether the line was an indent or not but I was convinced that it had some pink to it. My period arrived that afternoon. I'm currently in the TWW and if it doesn't happen for us this month I will be making an appointment with the GP just to check my levels etc. I don't think we will go down the route of IVF as it will be too expensive for us and we already have an amazing DD together so are thankful for that. We've discussed whether to stop if it hasn't happened for us by the time I'm 43.

I'm sorry to read of the losses and the awful things experienced by many of you but it's also encouraging to read some of the more positive posts.

I hope you are all doing well.

Welcome to the new ladies. This is a lovely supportive thread.

@Lastyearttc I’ll also be 10dpo on Thursday and planning to test on a frer then.

Hi @Mickymackyboobaaboo and welcome you are in good company here. We all keep each other going.
@Littlemiss40andfabulous I'm glad things are progressing well. It's so nice to hear a positive story. Can I ask how long you were trying for this time around and if you had any miscarriages or chemicals. Trying to stay hopeful.

Also my amh was 2.4 pmol/l. Has anyone else had there amh tested. Just wondering if mine is too low to have any good eggs left

@Littlemiss40andfabulous wonderful news and so thrilled to hear you are keeping well and by the sounds of it growing a lovely little baby very nicely! I’m glad morning sickness isn’t too awful as I know some people really suffer. You’ll have to keep us all posted and your news definitely boosts us all I’m sure!

@Mickymackyboobaaboo welcome. I’m 42 and thought my baby making years were long gone but after an unplanned pregnancy which resulted in a miscarriage I’m desperate now to try properly. You’ll find the ladies here so welcoming and supportive and loads of helpful advice too if you’re a novice like me!

@October1979 just got mine which is 3... Low reserves I know but quality unknown! It only takes one good egg as we all know fc

Thank you @October1979

I'm sorry to hear about your miscarriage @Mum2baby07. I'd always taken things in my stride up until my suspected CP; only then did I realise how much I wanted another child.

@October1979 of course. We have actively been trying since May 2020, and in that 12 months had only one chemical pregnancy back in January which was bittersweet, as it was encouraging we could conceive, but then had our hopes dashed when period arrived a week late. So just realised it took 12 months to get to this (so far) positive pregnancy.

I've been monitoring ovulation via cheap poas ovulation sticks and Clear Blue Digital ovulation kits. The last cycle we'd had enough of these so decided to relax and just DTD every other day, which we did for only a week before life got in the way again. So I think I must have ovulated earlier than I expected as I was convinced we'd missed our peak fertility window when we didn't DTD that second week.

Sorry for the name change - it's picked up an old one. Not sure what's happened (or even what name will appear this time round!)

@Portlandia I've had a smear and scans last month (I also have suspected endo) and they found I have adenomyosis 🙄 waiting for my gynae referral when they'll hopefully decide to do a lap 😊

Hi @Mickymackyboobaaboo
I would definitely get in contact with the gp ASAP
As they'll investigate over 6 months at our age and it can take a while for some of the investigations to actually happen, I started mine in feb after almost 3 years ttc and and have had lots of blood tests and scan etc but still waiting for my gynae referral appt.

@October1979 I haven't had mine checked yet, but amh as long as it's not 0 if fine for natural pregnancy, it's only an issue if it's low for ivf then you can try mild/natural ivf instead. It doesn't indicate quality though nothing does unfortunately

@October1979 I just got my AMH results back on Friday. 3.8 with 5 follicle count and the consultant said for an AMH that low they would only consider natural modified IVF and possibly mild IVF but Either way I'd be lucky to get 2/3 eggs per cycle. So we decided to go for NMIVF if the chances were the same the I'd rather go for the cheaper option. We've only been given a 10% chance for success or 26% if we went for the 3 cycle deal.

Something she did say to me during the consultation was that my low AMH was probably the reason for my miscarriage last year. I thought AMH measured quantity not quality?

@Littlemiss40andfabulous thank you. We were trying in earnest for around 18 months up to my 41st birthday and then concluded it wouldn’t happen although I do suspect I had a cp during that time so to find out I was pregnant without really trying felt like a little miracle but sadly not meant to be. Now I’m going to try and do it properly and be prepared as I’ve only ever TTC with folic acid and not much else so this group has been a real help and a real eye opener! You’re all superstars in my eyes!

Hello ladies! I've just found this thread!
First of all, sending you all wishes and good luck!

Can I join in?
I'am 43 and ttc DC2 for more than a year now. My son was conceived naturally, so I thought that would be the case for number 2 too. DH has suggested we look into fertility clincs sooner rather than later, DS is wondering if he is going to have a younger brother or sister, and I'm just mad at my body for not doing it's job. I still have my period and ovulating, so what's the problem with me? Sorry for venting.

@sabtom from all the research I've done amh is egg quantity and there's no test for egg quality so I'm not sure how your amh can cause miscarriage!

Hi @dutchessmom welcome, I know completely how frustrating this ttc park can be, have you spoken to your gp at all? They can do you some tests to make sure everything's as it should be, also are you tracking your ovulation with opk and bbt? Taking any suppliments? All these things can help. I have two dc from my previous relationship, now 15&16 but have been ttc 3+ years this time with my current partner! We've had all the tests the gp can give us and waiting for a gynae referral for further investigations now. It's also worth looking into a fertility mot at a clinic as they will check everything for you too