Trying to conceive over 40

[October1979]

Here is a new thread for us girls

@Mattieandmummy thank you. Do you find it upsets your next cycle taking the progesterone so early? I’m going to start it tomorrow night I think and see if it makes a difference. My problem with starting with LH surge is I have long irregular cycles so it takes a few days to confirm O has happened with the temperature rise as I get false surges sometimes. Xx

@catconfusion I don't know as this is the first month but I am a bit worried about that. The nurse told me to do a pregnancy test at 13 days after lh surge and stop if negative but I'm going to check with my consultant as he said 15 days. I do worry about the Lister, I've heard such good things but they seem a bit chaotic which something I really don't respond well too.

Ah just to add they said it must be after ovulation and definitely not before so I guess the best you could do is wait until you know you have definitely ovulated and then start. It's not a perfect solution but I've come to realise that so much of this fertility treatment stuff is based on a wing and a prayer and assumptions as everyone is slightly different.

@Mattieandmummy it doesn’t help when professionals give you conflicting information. I’m going to start progesterone tonight at 3dpo and then test with an Frer at 10dpo. If no line by 12dpo I’ll probably stop. I think it’s just a case of persevering. So much is down to luck. I took progesterone from 14dpo with ds and he was fine. I have read progesterone levels can change over time and low progesterone is difficult to diagnose so it can’t hurt to supplement. I just hope it doesn’t delay AF if I don’t get my bfp Xx

I’ve just had the phone call about my Gynae appointment. It’s a 38 week wait! 🤦🏻‍♀️. Considering my Gp wants to check there’s no complications from my c section last year and I don’t have a fibroid or polyp causing the miscarriages, I could potentially go through many more in that time. I think we’re going to see what this cycle brings and then look at private options. Not that we can afford it xx

My resting pulse rate keeps falling should I be worried. 5+5 today?

@October1979 No, don’t worry for 2 reasons - firstly worrying won’t change anything but will stress you out which isn’t ideal. Secondly I can’t find anywhere that suggests a slowing pulse is an indicator of MC.

Breathe deeply and do something do distract yourself. ❤️❤️❤️❤️

@October1979 your body is currently doing an amazing thing so changes are to be expected as it adapts. If you’re concerned call your GP for advice but as @Geriatric1234 says worrying won’t help you at all. I know it’s easy to say - we have so many things to monitor now and know so much more about early pg thanks to the dr google that we can’t help but worry! My mum recently told me how she phoned up to tell the GP she thought she was pregnant and his response was ‘if it’s not your first then you know the signs so probably are’ and that was all she knew until a midwife heard a heartbeat when she was about 4-5 months from memory! In a way less info back then was probably way less stressful…. Appreciate its hard x

@Catconfusion omg 38 weeks?!?!? Do you know what sort of treatments/explorations a gyn would do? That is an insane wait…

@October1979 your temperature looks like it’s still up. I would say if it dropped, that would be the biggest indicator something is wrong. Even temps can fluctuate. How would you feel about not using Ava. Overall would you rather keep an eye on things or could it be causing more anxiety? It’s so difficult at the stage you’re at because you’re so close to having a scan. Just hang on in there. I’m sure you’ll feel a bit better once you have the scan. Thinking of you. Xx

@Geriatric1234 I know, it’s crazy. I think they’ll do a scan and check for any obstructions in my uterus that could be causing the miscarriages like scar tissue from the c section, fibroids or polyps. It was 52 weeks to go to my local hospital where I had the c section. This appointment would be at a hospital ten miles further away which is fare enough. It’s looking like we’ll have to go private because I don’t like our chances if we wait, especially if I need a procedure. Hopefully not as there’s no signs anything is wrong other than the miscarriages which are likely bad luck and age related. Xx

@Catconfusionwhen was your last miscarriage if you don’t mind me asking?

@October1979 I kept temping after a bfp and the temp fluctuations made me worried but it was all fine in the end.

@Catconfusion

@October1979 I should add that I posted on here about the temp variations worrying me and someone kindly suggested that I stop temping. I did and was all good!

@october1979 completely second everything everyone else has said but just wanted to say hang in there xx

@catconfusion 38 weeks!!!! Ours was two months on the NHS and I thought that was bad. Sounds like going private sounds like s good move although it is eye wateringly expensive 😬

Also @catconfusion your progesterone plan in terms of starting and testing and stopping is the same as mine ,- fingers crossed it works

Thank you everyone the EPU will scan me next Friday. You have all given me such good advice. I just feel that resting pulse rate should be climbing. But can't find anything on google to confirm or ease my mind. But I know all of what you all say makes sense xxx

@October1979 that’s such good news about the scan. I’ve got everything crossed for you. Xx

@birdbybird out of the last four cycles, three have been early miscarriages between 4 and 5 weeks. The last two were back to back. I also had a mmc and an early mc just before my ds came along last April. So that’s 5 in total. Xx

@Catconfusion that you are getting BFPs is a good sign though. I've heard conflicting info saying up to 75% of conceptions are chemical pregnancies / losses.
I had none that I know of before my baby son, but have had 2 in the first two cycles since ttc. Now 3 cycles after the last loss I've not had another BFP, although I thought I saw a squinter last cycle.
Do you have any tips for conceiving? Do you use OPKs / DTD every day or every other day in the fertile window?
I did a test today at 9DPO and it was negative. Will try again tomorrow.

@birdbybird the doctor I saw after my second mc said he believed 80% of all conceptions miscarried. He also said some people are more susceptible to miscarriages because the lining is more welcoming to embryos whether they are viable or not. That’s why some people try for a long time and then suddenly it happens. Others keep having miscarriages until it happens. I think it’s a good sign too because the one that is viable will stick.

I have very long irregular cycles of 50 plus days usually so I have to be a bit more observant of the signs. I can ovulate any day from day 14 to 36ish. I use opks and will get false positives along the way but the ones that go over 150% on the Fermometer app generally mean O is coming. I’m lucky that my surge tends to happen over a few days. We dtd when I get the peak and the day after if we can. I think it’s important to try and dtd close to o but I’ve had a positive from dtd 5 days before so sperm can hang around. I also start temping when I get a high opk until three days after the temperature rise just to make sure it’s happened. I got fed up with temping for weeks on end with no rise yet. All that matters is what temps do over that fertile time. I stop temping after O because it brings too much anxiety. I’d rather just get on and stop worrying about it because there’s nothing I can do. This cycle I started taking aspirin a week before o and progesterone at 3 dpo and will stop if no bfp next week.

I’m so sorry to hear about your losses. It’s so hard and confusing to see a line and then it doesn’t work out. You’ll hopefully get there though. It’s amazing how many people have multiple losses and then go on to have a healthy pregnancy. It’s far more common than I thought it was. Xx

@October1979 sending positive thoughts your way… as hard as it is I am coming round to the mindset that over monitoring / analysing all the signs just leads to more stress. So easy to say though! One more week to the scan and then you’ll be able to rest easy a bit.

@Catconfusion thanks for asking after me, I’m doing ok. Frustrates as AF hasn’t started properly yet, still just very light spotting. Wish it would hurry up so I can start again. Next cycle my fertile week will be while we are on hols in Cornwall in the caravan with our kids…. Could be interesting!! 🙈

@Mattieandmummy were you prescribed progesterone or have you bought your own cream?? I’m in 2 minds what to do, wether to give it a try this cycle or wait for my gynaecology apt in Aug.

@birdbybird I would definitely recommend opks but also temping as the most important thing for TTC often you don’t ovulate when you think you do and a rise in temp is the only sure fire way to confirm you have ovulated. We normally try to DTD on day 10, 12, 13 and 14 (I norm ovulate on day 13 or 14) I have gotten preg 3 times (every month we’ve tried) between Feb-July. Sadly they just are not sticking ☹️

@Honey2 I’m glad you’re as ok as you can be. I’m so gutted for you. It’s not fair at our age because it’s time sensitive. I’m starting to feel the pressure now. I wanted a nice chilled tww but I’m waking up early feeling quite low and frustrated at the situation. It’s so different ttc now than it was when I was 39/40. It felt like there was plenty of time then. Now it feels like every cycle could be the last chance. I know it’s not but it’s just not a nice feeling.

I was watching a history programme last night about Edward I and his wife gave birth at 43 years old in the 13th century. The baby became the next king so all went well. If she can do it in medieval times when they mainly drank ale and the diet was bad, I can do it. Xx

@Honey2 I was prescribed it because I stopped breastfeeding in March and it's taking ages for my cycle to sort itself out and when you stop it's normal to have a lutral phase defect whilst your hormones slowly shift back to non-breastfeeding. I only started this month because I've had the most awful post weaning panic attacks, depression and anxiety (totally normal apparently) and lost loads of weight through anxiety. Last month was a 27 day cycle for and I was always 28 days pre- babies so am praying it's back this month as we've had six months of hormones preventing pregnancy and it's really got me down to say the least.

I'm on 400mg cyclogest a day and if my cycle is still not right he was talking about Lutrazole which I'm quite nervous about because it lowers your estrogen which is responsible for anxiety and I really don't want to go back to that!!!!

By he I mean our consultant....bit distracted by a panicking DH and a non- co-operative toddler - sorry

@birdbybird temperature has been such a game changer for me, other than testing your progesterone each month its the only way to tell if you have definitely ovulated. Its really put my mind at rest that I am ovulating.