Trying to conceive over 40

[October1979]

Here is a new thread for us girls

@Catconfusion yeah I'm gunna be climbing the walls till then lol
I had my first scan at 8 weeks in my last pregnancy and that's when I was told there was no heartbeat and stopped growing at 6w, so I don't know if that little bean had heartbeat or not. So yeah, I'm relieved to see a heartbeat with this little bean but I'll relax even more if that heartbeat is still flickering at 8w

@Catconfusion glad you're having a good day, late ovulation is a nightmare though 😑

@October1979 that's amazing! So pleased for you, I'm so hopeful for you this time, also feel like I might need an Ava lol

@sabtom that's brilliant news! So pleased everything's ok for you

@sabtom I just remember seeing a rainbow on the way to my 8 plus 5 scan and hoping it was a good sign. I felt so much more nervous but didn’t realise until we saw the heartbeat and I burst into tears. We had a really nice sonographer who walked up a bit herself when she saw how relieved we were. You’re definitely over the biggest hurdle now. The next one will confirm it. Will you have the blood test to screen the chromosomes or wait for the nhs tests? Xx

@Marvellouslymadmum it’s been the bane of my life. I just did a opk and it looks a bit darker so I’m hoping it’ll be in the next few days. I now have ewcm. Realistically though it could be a couple of weeks away 🤦🏻‍♀️. Xx

@Catconfusion we both want to get every test and screening available, we'd rather know sooner if possible so we can prepare. We probably won't be telling people too till after all tests are done and all come back healthy.

@Catconfusion thanks for sharing about opks and your cycle - really helpful. I have some new opks coming on Sunday after you all told me how awful one step are so will see how I get on. Although can’t help thinking OH just needs to get going TTC ever other day to be sure lol
@sabtom this is marvellous news! I’m so happy for you!! Praying we all get our own little miracle soon! X

@sabtom I will feel the same way too. My mmc before ds was all the more painful because we didn’t know we’d lost the baby 4 weeks before. I was still vomiting every day, thinking it was a good sign and would be worth it for a baby we’d already lost. I think you can have the nipt at 10 weeks. So good you’ll have the scans as reassurance in the meantime. I just don’t think there’s any way of knowing all is ok without them.

It’s all looking positive for you so your chances are good. Today you are pregnant and all is well. Xx

@Mum2baby07 no problem. Once you figure out how your peak plays out, it’ll make knowing when to dtd so much easier. Just see how you get on. It does have the potential to raise stress levels with the monitoring and in some cases it’s better to just have regular sex. If we didn’t have a toddler, I probably would leave it but finding time to dtd is really tough so knowing when really helps. Plus my cycles are crazy irregular. Xx

Hi girls... so on the new femometer opks which I'm loving with the app btw thanks for the rec!
When do you think I have/will ovulate!?

@Lastyearttc I’d say probably today. It’s usually within 24/36 hours after the peak. If you’re temping too it’ll usually be the day your temperature goes up. So if tomorrow you get a rise it’s today.

@Catconfusion if we could know at the beginning of the month it was going to be a long cycle it wouldn't so bad!

@Lastyearttc I agree with @Catconfusion it's likely today, without temping though there's no way to confirm it but if you just dtd today and tomorrow that should make sure you're covered

@Marvellouslymadmum it usually is for me as rare to get less than 50 days, however last cycle was 35 so I was hopeful for this time. Still no peak for me on cd 19. I’d ovulated by now last cycle. I haven’t been eating as well due to holiday and allowed myself a couple of glasses of wine during the week as it was my birthday. Sadly I do wonder if these things affect o in my case. I know what you mean about wishing I knew when. It means your life is a bit on hold with the waiting. Xx

@Catconfusion that's really frustrating! Have the docs given you any explanation for the constant long cycles all the time?

@Marvellouslymadmum I had lots of investigations when I was younger. It’s not pcos but along those lines. They found cysts on my ovaries but they’ve cleared up in recent years. All hormone tests are normal so it’s not a detectable imbalance but there probably is a slight imbalance if that makes sense. It’s a miracle I conceived my ds on day 33 of my cycle and have got pregnant easily with the 5 losses. It’s just very frustrating when ttc as I can ovulate anytime within a four week period. I get one normal cycle and I hope the problem is sorted now but the reality is it’s a lifelong issue for me. I’m hoping seeing the consultant and getting Clomid will help us. Xx

@Catconfusion I can imagine it must be very frustrating! I get a random long one every 6-12 months and that drives me crazy not knowing what's going on! Clomid could definitely help bringing it forward though, fingers crossed they give it to you

@October1979 amazing news! That looks like a strong line so all fingers crossed for you.

Thanks for sharing your Ava data as well - i have only just started using Ava and am finding it quite confusing because Ava hasn’t confirmed that I have ovulated this month (it hasn’t “ticked” ovulation)….maybe it’s just because it’s my second month using it….or maybe I haven’t ovulated? Does your temp go up even if you don’t ovulate? It might just be that my sleeping has been quite haphazard this month (I keep waking up anxious at 3/4am and struggling to get back to sleep, which might interfere with the Ava measurement - I suspect that’s why it hasn’t recorded some nights even if I have worn it every night) and maybe I need to wear it for a few more cycles to improve the predictions? Or maybe OPKs would give a better sense of when I’m ovulating (or if I’m ovulating)?

Following this thread has made me so much more positive - lots of positive test results, woo!

@Marvellouslymadmum do you know what, it really gets me down. It’s always felt like my body is failing me and after 5 losses now, two before ds and three after, I feel quite disheartened. I’m going to call the Gp on Monday and chase the referral. Hoping we can get seen soon. Xx

@99pctpractice I don’t have Ava so I’m not sure but it could be the lack of sleep. It might be worth contacting them and seeing what they think. Hopefully there is a helpline. Glad you’re enjoying the thread. Xx

@Catconfusion I totally understand, I feel like the fact it's not happening for us is definitely down to me, i was fine when I had my children years ago and now when I have managed to get pg it's ended in mc my oh's sa came back really good which I know is a good thing but doesn't make me feel any better! I just have to hope that his swimmers weren't that great before now as he'd been smoking and that's why no luck along with my issues so now we have more hope and a fertility referral in august to cling on to! Have you heard anything about when your referral will be yet?

@99pctpractice I can't offer much advice I'm afraid as I don't use an Ava

@Marvellouslymadmum try not to blame yourself. It’s such an intricate process. The nhs doesn’t test for sperm dna fragmentation so although sperm look healthy, the dna within can be damaged. It’s a bit like how our eggs can be damaged due to age. My DHs SA came back normal too thank goodness. I still think that’s a good sign on the whole. It’s totally possible for the wrong sperm to fertilise the egg. Older men and younger women have more miscarriages so the man plays a part.

I think it can just take a bit of time and luck. Not necessarily anything wrong. Good you have a referral in August. I’m going to call on Monday about ours as all the tests are done. I just feel gutted at the moment but it’ll be ok. Xx

@99pctpractice Ava usually confirms ovulation about 6 days after. It also sometimes changes your fertile week if it doesn't detect it. Sometimes my Ava was out a day or two if I missed a reading so I always did opks as well. I started dtd when Ava told me I was in my fertile week and kept going until after my peak opks. It does take a couple of months to get used to your cycle but more often than not my opks and Ava matched up. Except this month where I ovulated 4 days after Ava predicted. I think my chemicals messed it up. After every chemical I ovulated on average 3/4 days later. Ava will give you your tick in a couple of days xxx

@99pctpractice also as long as you have had 4 hours sleep it should record. Make sure it's fully charged when you put it on (white solid light) and it vibrates when you strap it on your wrist. If it doesn't vibrate you may need to take it off , sync it by going to the 3 dots at the bottom and selecting my Ava bracelet, sync it, charge for a second or two then put it on. This always works for me. I had a couple of nights where it did not sync.

Like @Lastyearttc I’ve just gotten hold of the femometer app and opks and already feel like I’m going to be more knowledgeable about what’s happening in my body as a result so thanks for the recommendations! Was using one step and ovia app before and found neither very helpful and already more impressed by femometer - you ladies are such a great source of info for TTC virgins lol - thank you x

thanks, @October1979, today it ticked the ovulation, so i guess it just takes a bit longer than i was expecting...! I might start trying OPKs as well just to see if it's consistent. esp because my temperature seems to start rising about a week before Ava is predicting my ovulation. thank you!! xx

Congratulations everyone who has had a positive! I missed the last few as promised DH I would stop using Mumsnet quite so much 🙄

I am having a panic that I have done something very stupid and I wanted to see what you all thought.

My cycles were just getting back to normal after stopping bfing my DD and in a bid to increase cervical mucus I followed the advice on cervical mucus.org which says take 3 to 4 1500mg a day of evening primrose oil tablets. I did that for 3 days from day three I think then researched on Mumsnet, had a panic attack as I realised I was taking far too much and epo can also delay ovulation. Stopped taking it immediately.

So I use clearblue ovulation tests that give you estrogen surges and lh surges and so far I have had an estrogen surge on day 10 and lh surge on day 14 or 15. Today is day 11 and no estrogen surge. Have I totally messed up my cycle? What do you think?

I've messed it up haven't I