TTC 35+ thread 10

[Marvellouslymadmum]

We ran out of thread!! Will go back and try to tag everyone in here 🤦🏼‍♀️

@A1b2c3d4e5f6g7 yes I guess it's maybe 4 as the first two weren't really attempts so maybe it's not long. Due on this Sunday which will put us into cycle 5 of really going for it. Just the fact it was straightaway last time that makes me feel something is wrong. Perhaps it's just my age but I'm suspicious of a few things including the fact I had a bad infection and recurrent UTIs since my daughter was born. I will say though that it really feels like a chore this time. Between work and a toddler romance is pretty much dead...
I'm getting everything done privately. We are very lucky in that sense right now. She did say I could try progesterone but not just yet - she wants to do progesterone day 21 first. It's Cambridge IVF as it's near where we are in Hertfordshire and I don't want to travel to London just yet. But I probably would move to London if intervention is required as all my specialists are there. They are ok at Cambridge - maybe not the most organised but very patient and tactful so has been ok for us to date. I wanted somewhere that wasn't strictly private (or with nhs consultants) as I thought it might be less of the hard sell 😬 Where are you based? How long have you been trying and any previous pregnancies? Xx

@thislittlebird I would def try to hook in with Raj Rai at st Mary's before going to ivf if you can and ask him about progesterone. It could be a really simple fox for you xx

@thislittlebird *book in and assuming you're near london

@ElsieG3m thank you yes I think little bird is in London, same as me. I'll try Raj Rai if nothing happens this cycle. Not really too long trying here either - nine/ten months-ish trying for number one, but I was pregnant for two of them, miscarried, and then my cycles didn't come back for another two months. I know what you mean though, I feel I used up my luck with my pregnancy that miscarried because I was lucky enough to get pregnant first month. My due date was last month and I was just hoping to be pregnant again by then 😬

If you've had infections I think you're doing the right thing getting tested now by specialists, it could be an easy fix that'll save you a lot of frustration and worry. Like @thislittlebird said, I think there probably were many little easy things we could have been given earlier on that could have worked and saved our time and stress

@A1b2c3d4e5f6g7 st Mary's is the best for >1 miscarriage. Have you had all clotting factors ruled out? Otherwise Barts get good reviews and if you can get into UCLH via nhs pathway that's where I was and they were amazing during pregnancy. I paid to see Pat O'Brien privately (RCOG chair/head of dept at UCLH). He's the nicest man ever and really good to see him if you don't go to Raj. I'm
So sorry for your losses, that's very tough. I also lost two and I would say that all the consultants I saw were totally unfazed. You're not at a greater risk of having another miscarriage after 1 or 2 (unless of course there's a clotting/hormonal issue) xx

Wow you ladies have done your research! Iv got my recurrent mc consultant apt on 11th june. Nurse said they offer progesterone to all ladies over 35 and they dont check progesterone levels, unfortunately iv had to have 3 mc's first 😔 so if you can get hold of it then its worth a try. If doc prescribes it straight away then il have it for next cycle x

@ImpatientTTCer omg congratulations on your BFP!! That's so exciting :) did you test today?? That's a strong line, girl!

@got2be awesome! Hope progesterone helps you, too. I insert my progesterone 3 days after ovulation. You can start taking it 2-4 days after ovulation. But because I don't know if my ovulation happens 12, 24 or 48 hrs after my LH peak I wait till night 3 to insert it.

Getting my blood test done today. Kind of nervous as other than my boobs being extremely sore, I don't feel anything else. This was my test yesterday at 13 dpo. It has been getting darker every day but yesterday's is same colour as my 12 dpo test. I don't even wanna test today...

It's so strange that with a clearly positive test I'm getting anxiety because of the past unfortunate events. I'm scared my HCG levels aren't gonna be where they need to be... I know I need to be positive but I'm just so scared

@MgW1 good luck on your appointment!! Hope they are thorough and helpful. ❤️🤞💯

@ElsieG3m apologies I had just one loss, I meant two months of being pregnant. Really sorry for your two, how awful. You've really done your research thank you, I will make use of these contacts, really generous of you to share.
@MgW1 I'm so sorry, three is awful. Interesting about the progesterone widely used there. I think I'm going to try to get some privately

@VixFromThe6ix thanks ill start progesterone at 3dpo. i'm hoping it works but will also be annoyed if it does as it could of saved me years of upset. but onwards and upwards i suppose xx

your lines look fab, put a big smile on my face. [heart]
good luck with bloods but i really think those lines are totally strong and you have nothing to worry about.
try and find relaxing hobbies etc to take your mind off a bit xx

@A1b2c3d4e5f6g7 exactly. I think it's disgusting really that I've been trying for 18 months, am now 38 and no one has offered us anything. When there's clearly identifiable issues, they still aren't offering anything. 20 years ago when my sister needed in Clomid in London she got it, and she got pregnant month one.

I definitely agree that London GPs aren't very helpful. I see SO many people getting things I need but they have no progesterone issue, for example. People with normal progesterone levels who are 'unexplained' get given Clomid all the time according to mumsnet threads, and yet I can't get near it with my barely there progesterone. And as you say, all the rest too. Where are my scans/test etc? Nothing nada zilch.

@ElsieG3m Is Raj Rai a gynaecologist? I'm sure they're helpful but it's yet more private costs and we're already paying for so many right now so I would need good reason to see another specialist. Hoping the Lister will be able to help if it's just progesterone (I'm seeing Alison Taylor who has good reviews), but if I need more tests...I don't even know where to begin. It's just frustrating that other people can get these things for free and we're all paying in (and have been for a long time) but some are getting less out for similar problems. Postcode lottery is crap, quite frankly.

I've never had a BFP so miscarriage specialists probably aren't my best point of call. We're going to see the expensive urologist tomorrow about the male factor, which reminds me, I need to pay him...

@MgW1 good luck with your appointment its soo soon xx
i really wish they would change that as i've had 1 on paper so they won't refer me to mc clinic. yet gyne finds nothing wrong.
i think the gyne gave me progesterone to get rid of me as i got discharged the same day lol.
so will end up going private to get more if no success in 2 months x

@got2be it's super frustrating I agree. I'm kind of annoyed with my family physician, as well. She's never sent me for any tests, knowing I'm trying to conceive and I'm in that age bracket. She waited till mc #2 so suggest a fertility clinic. I know it's the rules, but it just feels like no one really cares. My friends doctor sent her to do all these tests when he found out she's trying to have a baby. Imagine they knew my progesterone was the issue two yrs ago... Just, ughhhhhh.
But like you said upwards and onwards.
How are you feeling otherwise?? When's your period coming or is it already here?

@thislittlebird yes - gynae/obst but agree if you have the right specialists already and no miscarriage history, he's probably not for you. If you don't mind my asking, is it just low progesterone that has come back for you? Or is there an indication you might need clomid (ie no/irregular ovulation?). I'm sure that the lister will help you if you say you want to exhaust less invasive options before moving to ivf - it would be unethical if they didn't. Really hope you get some
Answers soon xx

@VixFromThe6ix good luck for your bloods! Those lines look pretty good to me! I think you can stop testing now - any variation could just be dilution of your urine 😊 try to enjoy it (hard as I know it is) xx

[quote got2be]@thislittlebird so much conflicting information but on my printout when my progesterone was 27.6 it says "this does not show you have ovulated this month"
were when it was 43.2 there were no notes added to it.
10 to me would suggest no ov if taken on the correct day (not always day 21).
have you started with lister or waiting for 1st appointment? and did you go straight to private because of your age or was nhs not helpful?[/quote]
I wish they knew more about this but based on the conflicting information on the numbers we all get I’m not convinced they do.

My two tests have been 17.5 and 10, so low either way. Going to see the Lister consultant online next week. Went straight to private after my bad experience with the nhs a few weeks ago. Told us we were unexplained which I think is nonsense, and I’ve lodged a complaint. But I turned 38 at the weekend, I can’t keep waiting on them.

I’m also entitled two two private rounds before voiding the NHS one so i’m going to just get on with it once we’ve seen the urologist etc. The longer I wait the more I’m losing my mind fighting with these people and getting no help.

@VixFromThe6ix i don't feel like they care unless it involves money which is horrible, i had my nhs gyne tell me there was nothing he could do but then suggested i pay him privately and he could help lol

i'm CD3 and really positive yet really doubtful. ttc is a total head f

[quote ElsieG3m]@thislittlebird yes - gynae/obst but agree if you have the right specialists already and no miscarriage history, he's probably not for you. If you don't mind my asking, is it just low progesterone that has come back for you? Or is there an indication you might need clomid (ie no/irregular ovulation?). I'm sure that the lister will help you if you say you want to exhaust less invasive options before moving to ivf - it would be unethical if they didn't. Really hope you get some
Answers soon xx[/quote]
Yeah, that’s what I thought. I’ve never had a miscarriage because I can’t get past the fertilisation and implantation hurdles so I’ll cross that bridge when I get to it and keep him in mind in future.

It’s very low progesterone (10, a private doc told me 3-5 indicates no ovulation) but that can indicate no ovulation. I get regular periods though, I don’t understand what that says. To me it seems like “weak” ovulation which isn’t a technical thing afaik but it’s my best way of explaining what I feel like I have? If that makes sense.

I get the right signs I’m going through the whole cycle but something isn’t right. Other than that, it’s my husband’s low motility which we’re talking to Jonathan Ramsay about tomorrow.

So do I, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve lost it the last couple of weeks, I’m not coping well with the feeling of having nowhere to turn.

I have high AMH and follicle count, I’ve decided for myself that they’re all competing for energy on there and the dominant egg isn’t getting the juice it needs

Omg @got2be, that’s shocking

@thislittlebird i'm no specialist and not sure of your complete back story but with low progesterone and high amh/ fc. have you looked into PCOS?
and have you done day 2-5 bloods? what is your lh/fsh?

im 39 so understand the age and rush but i think you should maybe change gp and get a second opinion as your right you should not have to be paying for things that others get its totally unfair.
i've asked for climid loads of times as you i've seen it a lot on mn an been refused told i don't need it.
i was given progesterone but really as a way to shut me up.

i really hope you get the right help soon xx

@thislittlebird i actually in my desperate state said ok and booked appointment private.

then talked with dh and cancelled it.

at my next nhs appointment with him he discharged me lol said i'm unexplained and nothing more he can do.

@thislittlebird you poor thing, you must be beside yourself. Weird how even when we try to give our money away, we still don't get the help we need. And I'm so over hearing (from literally everyone!!) just calm down and it'll happen. As if there's anything calming about TTC! It seems like progesterone must be a first port of call for you at least for a month or three. I wouldn't panic about your age though - it's SO hard when all you read online is negative stories and dips after 35 but the consultant I spoke to today was just totally nonplussed and said they typically treat people in their early 40s when it gets a bit more pressured but she implied even then it's not dire. I do think the ticking clock and the Googles put the fear into us all and it def doesn't help things at all. I feel similar at 37 though so I do totally understand. My GP said if you have regular cycles you're most likely regularly ovulating. Do you track/temp? Xx

@got2be they said probably not PCOS because it’s not high enough I think (AMH 36/AFC 28) but could be borderline. Very low FSH and LH on day 21, I have a day 3 test allocated apparently (from my appointment the other week) that I need to call up and book. But she said she thinks my FSH will be low again. Everything else seemed normal previously and I think you need the abnormal hormone profile for it to be PCOS?

I’ve changed GP last week, got to go see them soon to take some letters from consultants in and then start the whole thing again with a new GP. But I can’t wait anymore. My mental health is through the floor. I’m just in a bad way because I’ve spent 18 months with doctors refusing to help me over multiple issues and I need to get help, the only people willing to help are the private doctors now.

[quote got2be]@thislittlebird i actually in my desperate state said ok and booked appointment private.

then talked with dh and cancelled it.

at my next nhs appointment with him he discharged me lol said i'm unexplained and nothing more he can do.[/quote]
So you booked expecting nhs help and then cancelled but they discharged you? Lol it’s so annoying