TTC 35+ thread 10

[Marvellouslymadmum]

We ran out of thread!! Will go back and try to tag everyone in here 🤦🏼‍♀️

@ImpatientTTCer you e got good lines in all those tests lovely, I wouldn't worry. A line is a line - being a bit faint at one time of day isn't a good comparison (your urine may be more diluted). If you're worried, go into your local EPU for bloods/US but if I were you I'd accept you're pregnant and test again in a few days time (if you really just). How many days post-period are you? Xx

@ElsieG3m thank you for your reply (and for being up so early!!) - I’m only 11/12DPO, I know I should wait to test....I’m just so anxious. I’ve just been slightly told off for testing early, as he said he got his hopes up. I tried to explain what a nightmare waiting for two weeks is, when you’re symptom spotting everything and effectively putting your life on hold, desperately hoping. Just the uncertainty, and that there’s nothing you can do/know to control/affect it...it’s frustrating as anything! As we’re all only too well aware.

@ImpatientTTCer well I think that hopes can be up! He's only telling you off to protect himself And you, I'm sure. Stay positive - odds are it's all going to work out so try to enjoy it xx

@ImpatientTTCer very stressful for you. @ElsieG3m said could he fluctuating hormones, and some get a darker line on second morning urine. Maybe try another test in a couple days as hcg should double and you’ll see good progression 🤞 x

Keeping fingers crossed @ImpatientTTCer
I can see why you'd want to keep testing to get reassurance, but doing it so often is probably a recipe for stress- there could be lots of reasons for fluctuations in those few hours. I know I will be exactly the same though if I ever see a second line! Still hopeful for you xx

@ImpatientTTCer
I read that second morning urine may be more accurate.

I agree with @KatRee I'd do exactly the same if I got a bfp. However as a bystander I could only say you may want to stop testing. It's all gonna work out at the end :)

@ImpatientTTCer
Fingers crossed xx
If you urine is diluted it wont give you accurate result as those tests are so sensitive

@ElsieG3m @A1b2c3d4e5f6g7 @KatRee @AnxiousWannabe @MgW1

You’re all right, and voices of reason....

(Just argh, why can’t I stop peeing on sticks?!)

@ImpatientTTCer I also can't help poas. In fact, I've just done a load today on a whim. No idea where I am in my cycle - maybe between 3-6 dpo - though could be even longer - didn't track this month to try to reduce anxiety but think it was even worse! First one I got a vvvv faint line so did more (all negative) and think that the first was just evap as was too far over to be the positive line. Don't know what's wrong with me. I KNOW I'm not pregnant as I have all my pms symptoms and it's v obvious to me when I'm due to come on (due this Sunday). I got myself so excited when I saw that first line and in my head immediately started thinking about edds. Deep down I think I know this isn't going to be easy or maybe even possible for me. A friend said to me at the weekend that maybe I need to make peace with having an only child and move on. Just in a very bad place and don't really know how to do that when I feel so guilty thinking about her being lonely xx

@ElsieG3m oh no, I’m sorry, the line must have got your hopes up and then completely smashed them, that’s awful...although 3-6dpo would be extremely early to get a positive, I’m sure it’s not unheard of!

I have to say that I rather enjoyed being an only child! Lots of attention, being spoiled with presents....but of course there were moments I wondered what it would be like to have a sibling. I was never lonely, except when my mum died. That said, I didn’t have to fight with anyone over the funeral plans and inheritance and I know this tears some families into shreds. Every family is different! She’ll never resent you for only having had her, and she’ll be happy by herself or if a brother/sister comes along, I’m sure!

It might not be easy at all (what is?!) but until you know it’s impossible then surely you want to keep going/trying? Xx

I didn’t mind being an only child of sorts. I have siblings but we don’t have good relationships and they’re much older than me so we didn’t live together. So sure, I would have liked a nice brother or sister, but the ones I have I could have done without altogether. Being an almost only child was fine for me really when growing up, the funerals as an adult were and will be awful in my family @ImpatientTTCer. I dread the future when I have to go to the final family funeral which will be my mum. My sibling will make it a dreadful experience.

@ElsieG3m I'm also due this week and got all my usual symptoms. I know most are just progesterone-related so could be pregnancy too, so don't necessarily count yourself out. Today I've had lots of this watery discharge I get in the days before the bleeding starts, which as far as I know is never a pregnancy sign, but the endometrium starting to break down - so think I'm well and truly out already. Trying to focus on next cycle - will be having HyCoSy and OH getting SA and I'm going to up my supplements. I've given myself until end of next year to do all I can to conceive and will then work on acceptance and making a different life if it doesn't happen. It's such a disheartening time every month that slips by, isn't it? Are you having any investigations/treatment?

AF due wednesday and BFN , cramps all day and the usual pre - Af wind!!! 😤 i think its on to june for me and cycle 13 ... maybe 13 will be lucky for us 🤷‍♀️ also i may have to move my holiday I have booked for next year ... has anyone else booked their jollies for next and wondering how it will fit in with ttc and possible pregnancy / baby?! I know i have booked prematurely but after such a shite year , I felt we needed something to look forward to xx

@ImpatientTTCer @thislittlebird @KatRee thank you all. I don't have the closest relationship to my sister and we have argued over the years. Not terrible but not the super close friends I'd like us to be. So I know where you're coming from. I think it's just hard when you picture your life in a certain way and it feels like it won't work out. At one stage I actually wanted three babies but would now be over the moon with two happy, healthy little ones. I have the same thing katree with watery secretions but I seem to be getting it only a few days after Ov and before an embryo could have even had chance to implant 5/6 days before my period?? My lp is only 8 days and I do wonder about lpd. We've had some basic tests so far - SA for him and amh/tv for me. We are meeting with the consultant tomorrow so will report back. I think I'd like to have hycosy and day 21 bloods done to check for tube blockages and progesterone levels. After that, I guess we move fairly swiftly to ivf. I just feel so foolish that I never saw this coming. I fell preg three times (1 successful) within a month or two three years ago. My sister fell preg first time with both her two babies and 3 years ago and last year (& she's 2years older than me) and my Mum also conceived us both under 3 months. I just sort of thought it would be quick as it was a family characteristic - maybe that I'd miscarry again but not that nothing would happen at all. I feel like such a fool and just so depressed about it all. I also can't help but blame my husband. I wanted to try immediately I went back to work when my daughter was 1 but husband said it would be too soon (for my career!) and then Covid hit, I was told to shield and here we are. It feels like the year has been stolen from us, but then I guess many ppl feel that don't they? Treatment wise, I'm having acupuncture and going to start Zita west sups this month - fertility vits, antioxidant booster and kaneka ubiquinol. £111 p/m (wtf??!!) xx

@MgW1 I also have the pre-af wind 🤢 always a treat. No holidays next year but maybe that's what's needed!

Ps I should say, I'm on be over the moon to have my healthy happy little girl. It's really as I said for her that I'd like another. Sorry to anyone reading this thinking I sound ungrateful - I do know how lucky I am to have her xx

How is everyone finding the acupuncture? @ElsieG3m yup I’m on the Zita West also this month, extremely expensive, and my bottles are getting low 😬 do I bite the bullet and reorder!

How long have you been trying Elsie? Not ungrateful at all, you’re trying really hard for something you want, and it’s disappointing when it’s not happening. Progesterone tests might be really helpful if your luteal phase has settled at 8 days, and maybe there’ll be an easy fix.

@MgW1 I get some pre period wind also 🙈 but the month I got the positive test, it was extreme 🙈 So doesn’t rule you out. Holiday wise I’m booking stuff, as long as not third trimester I should still be able to go. Just get travel insurance before that covers unexpected pregnancy

@ElsieG3m it’s not a baby obviously but I you’re worried about loneliness, does she have a pet? When I was a kid my dogs were great pals of mine. They were a big help.

It’s a few days past ovulation for me (haven’t checked) and I think my progesterone levels must have dropped right off again. Can’t feel even a vague soreness in the boob.

I’m just laying in bed this morning terrified IVF won’t work for us. Thinking about how something as simple as progesterone might have helped us and no one will help me. I don’t know whether to ask the Lister consultant if it’s worth trying that before IVF. We’re speaking to her next week, urologist tomorrow, planning to start IVF in August after our holiday in July (DH will have been on supplements for nearly six months by then) I’m just worried they won’t want to help me with a prescription either that might help us avoid IVF because ££££.

@thislittlebird if you want to try progesterone, phone up and ask. If they won't give it to you, phone around a couple of private doctors and ask if they'd be prepared for a private prescription of progesterone for you. I think the NHS is so stingy with it because its only proven to help for multiple losses, so its not in the guidelines to give it - so they do a cost / benefit analysis. But I've heard of a few people getting it from private doctors, because you're paying for it.

When are you thinking of starting IVF? If you've a couple months before this, you could give it a go. Good luck!

@thislittlebird when reading old threads on how to get progesterone a place called nova kept coming up. I've googled for you and found two not sure which 1.

also as been looking into progesterone for myself and came up with this. my progesterone levels are around 43-45 when i got bfp last year they were 48. so from what i've found is that my levels are enough to ov but not to sustain a pregnancy. i now have progesterone will try next cycle, but I'm with you in thinking if this works why was i not given it years ago. x

www.novafertilityuk.com/index.html

www.novahealth.clinic

@A1b2c3d4e5f6g7 they are so expensive! Did yours have silica gel inside? That freaked me out so I called them up and they said they all do but I found it a little odd 😬 it really hasn't been that long and tbh I feel stupid saying anything when I know others have tried for longer. We tried a bit early last year then for 4 months this year so over 6 cycles in all which is when they say you should get advice if over 35. The reason I'm worried is because all three previous pregnancies (1 successful) happened first or second month. I just have this feeling something is wrong and that it won't happen. I can't shake it off but I am also very very depressed (it's a common after effect of a stroke, so maybe that's why)...

@thislittlebird we would love a dog at some point but right now it wouldn't be fair due to our working patterns and commute into London. One day though definitely. I loved ours too and many a teenage tear was cried onto them!

We just had our fertility consultation and the consultant was v happy with our results - husband's SA was good, my AMH, FSH, LH, Thyroid, Iron all came back really good. I had plenty of follicles with eggs. My platelet count was high but it often is due to my blood clotting. Next step is hycosy, prolactin, day 21 progesterone and dna fragmentation on husband's sperm, though she thought it was just a case of time and relaxation. She said to keep running, eat well and take supplements. One thing she was very firm on was no sugar for either of us. I don't really know why but she said just avoid. From
Having read it starts with the egg, I think it's to do with inflammation, but I'm not cutting out fruit and I'm going to have a little bit of sweetener in diet hot chocolate as I don't think I can do without but maybe should cut that too? She also implied a holiday might be a good idea. Finally she said no problem to keep exercising xx

@A1b2c3d4e5f6g7 it just doesn’t make sense to me not to have been offered anything when they told me I’d be offered something for my low progesterone (10). Something is awry but they’re not bothered about what, so I don’t know if it’s worth raising it with Lister next week (I will raise it but I mean mention getting any drugs for it), or as you say, maybe paying for a private appointment and asking for some.

Yeah we have a couple of months, if all goes well then it will be early august. It just annoys me that we haven’t been able to try anything that other people get to try. I’m being given no help but I’m at a loss as to what to do and I’ve just turned 38, might as well crack on with ivf. £15k upwards or they could have given me some clomid that might have worked 🥴. Ridiculous.

Too late to try clomid now if we’re planning ivf. Would have been nice to try it six months ago. Sigh. Maybe if ivf works we can try it for a second child in future, if we want one/get that far.

A private consultant told me no ovulation is usually a level of 3-5 (something like that), but then why do they want levels to be 20 or 30? Mine is 10 and I don’t know what that even means. @got2be interesting what yours was, how am I expected to get as far as sustaining a pregnancy naturally it I barely have any progesterone to begin with? Like you say, 40 odd is too low apparently so it annoys me that they don’t seem interested. Thanks for the links, I’ll have a look at them.

@ElsieG3m we’re aiming for a dog in the future too!

@VixFromThe6ix hope all is well x
i've been discharged from nhs but have the progesterone to start, do i start day after i get a peak or wait a few days? x

@thislittlebird so much conflicting information but on my printout when my progesterone was 27.6 it says "this does not show you have ovulated this month"
were when it was 43.2 there were no notes added to it.
10 to me would suggest no ov if taken on the correct day (not always day 21).
have you started with lister or waiting for 1st appointment? and did you go straight to private because of your age or was nhs not helpful?

@ElsieG3m yes a silica gel inside all the packs, actually all my vitamins have this and I've left them in. Is there something bad about it, should I take it out? I've done almost a month of them and my skin looks very nice :) Its the only thing I've noticed really!

Six cycles is quite some time though! Although also nothing in ttc I am finding.... so I'm sure you're fine and this time its just taking a bit of time. There's only a 22% chance of success for each cycle, and it can take perfectly fertile couples a year. Are you getting all of those tests privately? Would you recommend the place you are if so, do they seem decent so far?

@thislittlebird I know I agree, there are easy and cheap things that can be tried and that should have been tried first, before you had to start invasive treatment like IVF. I think GP's in London do limit help, because I see a lot of people elsewhere getting investigations after six months, and getting access to clomid, scans, various tests, hycosy, semen analysis, IVF etc. As your levels are low, its unfair progesterone wasn't offered. Hopefully the Lister will help with it.