TTC 35+ thread 10

[Marvellouslymadmum]

We ran out of thread!! Will go back and try to tag everyone in here 🤦🏼‍♀️

@got2be yes it could be - I'm not too sure what's going on down there tbh! 😬
Btw I saw your next post and there was a Canadian study that suggested you can Ov more than once p/m www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1126506/
But it appears to be controversial. Some gynaes have said that whilst you can prepare to Ov twice p/m you may not actually release an egg except in the case of non-identical twins where two eggs are released over 24 hours. However, most seem to agree that OPKs can be inaccurate so perfectly possible that if you were going off those to confirm Ov, it may not have been then but earlier in the month with conception that unfortunately didn't stick. You can def conceive during your period - I don't know how it works but does seem to happen. I don't believe your pregnancy tests were false positives (maybe one but not multiple). Is it worth getting a follow up scan just to be on the safe side and having your bloods re-done? Maybe it sadly will confirm that whilst you're not pregnant now, you may have been which would be good to know? Before I had my daughter, I had a very early miscarriage which one EPU suggested was ectopic as they couldn't see any gestational sac in my womb (though I could - daughter of a radiographer!) so I went to a better unit with a more powerful scanner and there it was - very clear & sadly about to end. Those lines you shared were very clear to me xx

@M4v3r1ck - so exciting you're at 7 + 4!! Have you booked your scan yet? Xx

@ElsieG3m
I tried preseed without luck and saw a youtube where they tested it under microscope ...sperms died when they are swimming in preseed. Not saying it's true but it's enough to have me stop using it

@AnxiousWannabe - thanks! Yes I read that somewhere too that it's better than standard lube but nothing is best if you can manage it. Xx

@got2be our bodies are such a nightmare, just when we think we know what's going on!

@ElsieG3m I've heard a lot of good things about preeseed and have been using the Tesco version myself. I need to get some more ubiquinol too for next month

@M4v3r1ck I'm ok thank you, been a bit relaxed cycle as had a smear, ultra sound, internal scan and my second Covid jab this week and oh has his sa and it's fw so highly unlikely to be successful lol. I can totally understand the anxiety it must be so hard to relax but hopefully you'll get more relaxed the further you get. Glad you're doing well though (nausea and tiredness aside)

Congratulations @ImpatientTTCer, definitely a line there and yes do tell OH, it's his pregnancy too he should be involved in every bit, even the stressful bits x

Argh I'm having a rubbish day today, I'm feeling really down, fed up and tense but couldn't put my finger on what's wrong with me. Think I've just figured it out. My friend posted a video this morning of her gender reveal yesterday, I already knew she was pregnant and I'm genuinely happy for her but I think seeing their celebration (it was the most OTT gender reveal known to man - something you'd see on TOWIE or Real Housewives of Cheshire), it's just made me feel really deflated about our own TTC situation. Honestly, I'm happy for them, I just wish we were on the same journey, it's almost like "here's what you could have won" 😏😔

I'm approaching ovulation, I should be feeling all up for DTD but I just want to lie in bed and not see or speak to anyone 🥲

On the plus side, after one of the GP's from my surgery said they couldn't refer me for fertility investigations as I've already got 2 children, I spoke to another very lovely GP on Friday and she referred us. I refuse to believe that the first GP made a genuine mistake, it's a fairly common issue and she's well experienced, clearly she thought 2 children should be enough for us. She seemed quite shocked by the fact that I've already got 2 children and want another. I'd make a complaint but I can't be bothered.

@Magnum99

Congratulations *@ImpatientTTCer*, definitely a line there and yes do tell OH, it's his pregnancy too he should be involved in every bit, even the stressful bits x

Argh I'm having a rubbish day today, I'm feeling really down, fed up and tense but couldn't put my finger on what's wrong with me. Think I've just figured it out. My friend posted a video this morning of her gender reveal yesterday, I already knew she was pregnant and I'm genuinely happy for her but I think seeing their celebration (it was the most OTT gender reveal known to man - something you'd see on TOWIE or Real Housewives of Cheshire), it's just made me feel really deflated about our own TTC situation. Honestly, I'm happy for them, I just wish we were on the same journey, it's almost like "here's what you could have won" 😏😔

I'm approaching ovulation, I should be feeling all up for DTD but I just want to lie in bed and not see or speak to anyone 🥲

On the plus side, after one of the GP's from my surgery said they couldn't refer me for fertility investigations as I've already got 2 children, I spoke to another very lovely GP on Friday and she referred us. I refuse to believe that the first GP made a genuine mistake, it's a fairly common issue and she's well experienced, clearly she thought 2 children should be enough for us. She seemed quite shocked by the fact that I've already got 2 children and want another. I'd make a complaint but I can't be bothered.

Hi sorry to hear your feeling so low. I'm in the same boat as you. I'm trying for my 3rd but it's my first with my new partner, got 2 boys with my ex. When I spoke to my doctor regarding my endometriosis she got confused on the phone thinking I was asking for help to get pregnant when I was asking for help with pain relief etc. Anyway she said because Iv already got 2 children I wouldn't get any help. So have you been told you can get help? Is it on the NHS?

I'm here if you want to rant etc, sounds like we're going through very similar things. I'm due on today and been feeling sickness all week. Done a test today and a BFN! I think I'm starting to spot/come on. Gutted if I am as felt different this month xx

@ElsieG3m thank you that's very interesting. and goes to show things science can't control.
I called EPU as things was just not making any sense heavy AF and thought of ectopic was quite scary and was told the following.
"because i did not do day 21 bloods this month EPU had nothing to go on so the level at 11dpo of 7.4 they saw as my progesterone, was actually my progesterone dropping. and they should not of told me i had not ov, that the tests with bfp were more likely accurate as tests i used were sensitive and if i went to EPU on 8dpo when i took first one my hcg levels would of correlated. he said it was either failed implantation or cp why HCG dropped very quickly it didn't have enough time to rise.
when i mentioned the follicle seen and AF only 2 days later he asked about a FC scan i had and asked me what was on that report and the same showed cd1 "several follicle's largest measuring 12mm ( the one that seen in EPU was 14mm.
he also advised to stop testing early as AF was not late and i could of saved myself the stress. xx

@Marvellouslymadmum our bodies are nightmares but it seems medical staff are worse lol!!

@Magnum99 sorry your feeling like that, its totally understandable i'm too trying for no4 with current partner, i've found gp/nhs horrendous as i have children and i think the way they make us feel is so wrong.
i personally find it a hard pill to swallow that my body has just stopped doing something it use too why i have not given up ttc.
i'm glad you have managed to get a referral.
fingers crossed you don't wait too long and they are able diagnose/ treat so you are able to have success with ttc xx

@My2boysaremyworld yes I found the NICE guidelines for my area online and it says that all women regardless of whether they have children are eligible for investigations if they fail to get pregnant within 12 months or 6 months if they are over the age of 36.
So I told them this and the first GP said she'd look in to it but never came back to me (she had previously told me no) 2nd GP referred me no arguments, very supportive.
I'm not eligible for IVF which I totally understand and tbh if things got to that stage we'd probably just accept what we have, count our blessings and just leave it to nature to decide if we have any more.
But nice GP confirmed yes we are eligible for investigations and medication if we need it eg Clomid.
Check online for your local area, I just googled ... "(name of my borough) NHS NICE guidelines for fertility treatment" and it came up straight away.

@got2be sorry sweetheart I didn't mean to suggest you were having an ectopic - my point was just that sometimes scans (& those scanning) can be wrong. That said, I'm SO glad you called and it sounds like you spoke to someone who actually knew what he was talking about. And goes to show, your eggs are being fertilised but something is happening in between that and implantation...have you had a round of progesterone? If not then to me it seems like they would be very sensible. Aren't you seeing Raj soon? Pretty sure that's what he'll recommend. I really feel like you've had a terrible run of bad support and information but that should hopefully be rectified now you're seeing the right people. In short, I think that although your situation has been horrible this month, it seems there are some positives to take away. How are you feeling about it all? Xx

@ElsieG3m no need to apologise i have left sided pain and shoulder tip pain which made me wary of it. so im hoping his explanation is correct and the pain is endo or fibroids!?
i've had a few cp and mc so always known it was something to do with implantation but as aware NHS have not helped an just suggested IVF.
i'm ok as i have progesterone to start next cycle so im thinking i have the ttc bit just to win the next battle of sticky bean. so yes very excited to see raj.

thank you so much for all your help xx

Thank you everyone!! You are all so kind 🥰 @Geriatric1234 @GuessHowMuch @My2boysaremyworld @MgW1 @Farfaraway1 @A1b2c3d4e5f6g7 @notyetamumbuttrying @Noodella18 @Marvellouslymadmum @got2be @ElsieG3m @M4v3r1ck
I did tell him...he was very confused as to why I’d woken him up so early and it took a while for him to work out what I was talking about. He’s spent the day picking baby names, and I’ve spent the day suffering from what I’d describe as pretty bad period cramps, horrendous bloating, and yawning every five minutes. I nodded off at work yesterday afternoon 😂 so exhaustion is obviously going to be my main symptom! I’m surprised it’s started so early, but there’s no disputing that I am far more tired than I would be usually.

Fingers crossed for a darker line tomorrow morning...

@GuessHowMuch @My2boysaremyworld @MgW1 - good luck for your testing over the next few days! 🤞 I’m still getting BFNs on cheapies....

@Magnum99 thank you!!

I’m sorry you’ve had such a rubbish day, it’s totally understandable. I remember being so overjoyed for one of my best friends when she got pregnant with her third...and as soon as I got off the phone I burst into tears, dived under the covers and hibernated for hours. Good news that you were able to find someone willing and able to help by referring you though, that’s wonderful!

@ImpatientTTCer

Thank you everyone!! You are all so kind 🥰 *@Geriatric1234* *@GuessHowMuch* *@My2boysaremyworld* *@MgW1* *@Farfaraway1* *@A1b2c3d4e5f6g7* *@notyetamumbuttrying* *@Noodella18* *@Marvellouslymadmum* *@got2be* *@ElsieG3m* *@M4v3r1ck* I did tell him...he was very confused as to why I’d woken him up so early and it took a while for him to work out what I was talking about. He’s spent the day picking baby names, and I’ve spent the day suffering from what I’d describe as pretty bad period cramps, horrendous bloating, and yawning every five minutes. I nodded off at work yesterday afternoon 😂 so exhaustion is obviously going to be my main symptom! I’m surprised it’s started so early, but there’s no disputing that I am far more tired than I would be usually.

Fingers crossed for a darker line tomorrow morning...

@GuessHowMuch @My2boysaremyworld @MgW1 - good luck for your testing over the next few days! 🤞 I’m still getting BFNs on cheapies....

Iv had 2 very small pink shoes when I wipe tonight. Cramping really bad so convinced AF is on her way, today is my due date 😢xx

@Magnum99 so sorry you are feeling so down. It's so unexpectedly hard when you already have a child/children and you get told to count your blessings and be grateful for what you have - as if you a rent already?! Then there's all the guilt that goes with it - I shouldn't feel any sadness or, in my case, I took the wrong decision to delay last year when I was told to shield thinking it would be fine and now worried my daughter will grow up alone and lonely. It's utterly utterly shite. I have actually come off social media completely - haven't been on for weeks. I just cannot hear about babies right now or see more happy, complete families wondering if it will ever be us. My little girl has spent all afternoon saying "can you get me a baby Mummy, I really want one" and I just haven't had the words. Sometimes you just have to allow yourself to feel like crap. I did today and buried my head in cake and chocolate. Tomorrow is a new day xx

[quote ElsieG3m]@Magnum99 so sorry you are feeling so down. It's so unexpectedly hard when you already have a child/children and you get told to count your blessings and be grateful for what you have - as if you a rent already?! Then there's all the guilt that goes with it - I shouldn't feel any sadness or, in my case, I took the wrong decision to delay last year when I was told to shield thinking it would be fine and now worried my daughter will grow up alone and lonely. It's utterly utterly shite. I have actually come off social media completely - haven't been on for weeks. I just cannot hear about babies right now or see more happy, complete families wondering if it will ever be us. My little girl has spent all afternoon saying "can you get me a baby Mummy, I really want one" and I just haven't had the words. Sometimes you just have to allow yourself to feel like crap. I did today and buried my head in cake and chocolate. Tomorrow is a new day xx[/quote]
Sending hugs to you xx

@ImpatientTTCer Congratulations! Wishing you a happy and healthy nine months!

@ElsieG3m After much deliberation I used pre-seed cycle before this one. I think it's a US company that makes it and its website claims it actually helps you conceive by creating an ideal environment for the sworn, but I've never seen any claims like that on the uk sites where it's for sale, so thinking maybe they don't have enough evidence to makes those claims under UK law! Maybe. It didn't give me a miracle, but I did quite like it- I think trip is not to use too much and insert with syringe ( how romantic!)

Used good quality EPO this month and seemed to increase quantity of cm, so planning to stick with that. I switch to fish oils after ovulation, but for the nutrients, don't know if it would effect cm

@ImpatientTTCer thank you.
It's a funny feeling isn't it? Being happy for somebody else but sad at the same time. It's a feeling I'm not really used to and it's making me feel uneasy.

@ElsieG3m tbh nobody has really told us to count our blessings, the 1st doctor was just really dismissive and blunt "no you're not eligible for any help" no words of advice or comfort. She just seemed totally bemused by the fact that we want another. I think it's a cultural difference.
Yes I feel guilty and regretful too. We decided about 3-4 years ago that we wanted another baby but we decided to wait 18 months as I'd then be eligible for a much better maternity package from work. Then we were struggling financially so put it on hold, then we had family issues and my SIL was in intensive care for 6 months and if she'd died we probably would have ended up adopting or fostering my nephew, then I struggled with my own health, then the pandemic hit and I was made redundant. I wish we'd just gone for it when we first decided.

@got2be Glad you’ve got a bit more info on what’s been happening. Are they saying it was failed implantation? Fingers crossed the progesterone helps in the next cycle. Hope you’re feeling ok 💐

Fingers crossed AF stays away @My2boysaremyworld.

Is being ridiculously hungry a normal end of luteal phase thing? I’ve been absolutely starving over the last few days and craving utter junk. I’m telling myself I’m too long in the tooth for symptom spotting 😅

Just read your post @Magnum99. Sounds like you’ve been through a really tough time. Did you see the thread on here about regret at delaying TTC? I found it really sad but reassuring and lovely.

@Magnum99 that's such a tough run - I'm so sorry. You can't blame yourself for delaying - in your case, you have other children and family members to think if and you couldn't jeopardise their well-being and the financial health of your family. My circumstances were different: I was shielding due to blood clotting risk (& I clot min pregnancy). With Covid known for causing blood clots, I had a similar dilemma but decided I have another child depending on me so I had to stay as safe as poss. I was actually fine last year though as mixing was so limited and I do just now think we could have gone for it but then my oh wasn't ready, I was shielding and here we are. I will have to make my peace with it somehow but to me and for what it's worth, I think you did all the right things at the right times and you should let go of that bit of self-blame. And maybe I will follow my own advice one day 🤣 Have you read it starts with the egg? I read it this eve and it starts tomorrow - diet, supplements and living well. Think she could have said more about sleep, stress and exercise but we all know those ones I guess! I guess all we can do is to channel our energies into things we can control - the hardest part of this for me is that, pretty much unlike anything else in life, I have zero control over the outcome and the more I work on it, the less likely I am to get what I want, but relaxation just isn't happening hit me right now xx

Thank you ladies @ElsieG3m @GuessHowMuch , yes it's been a tough few years plus my son is autistic and at times home life has been hard and I've wondered whether it would be right to bring a baby in to our lives and worried about how it would affect him.
But he's much better now that he's home schooled and I just feel like our family needs some happiness and laughter again.
Yes I suppose I shouldn't have any regrets, we made decisions based on our circumstances at the time and the facts in front of us. I've always felt like if we have one more I want to be able to enjoy my pregnancy, I didn't want it to be a stressful situation like my other two were. I split up with my son's dad when I was pregnant with him and my husband was going through a messy divorce whilst I was pregnant with my daughter. I just want to be able to enjoy it now that our lives are settled.

No I've not read It Starts with the Egg @ElsieG3m but I've just added it on Audible so I'll check that out. Funnily enough I've just signed up to a new diet plan to try and get within a healthy BMI (I think that's a criteria to receive any fertility medication if we need it), plus losing weight, exercising and eating more nutritious food might hopefully give my fertility a boost.

[quote GuessHowMuch]@got2be Glad you’ve got a bit more info on what’s been happening. Are they saying it was failed implantation? Fingers crossed the progesterone helps in the next cycle. Hope you’re feeling ok 💐

Fingers crossed AF stays away @My2boysaremyworld.

Is being ridiculously hungry a normal end of luteal phase thing? I’ve been absolutely starving over the last few days and craving utter junk. I’m telling myself I’m too long in the tooth for symptom spotting 😅[/quote]
Thank you xx

Thanks @KatRee - keep your fingers crossed for me, I’m beginning to worry 😕

I did a test before going to bed last night and the line was nice and dark, so I felt really happy! But this morning......😭😭😭😭😭😭

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