TTC after MC - new thread for newbies / lurkers on other threads!

[Lowkeyloopy]

Hi all!

I know there are several threads dedicated to this topic, which I've lurked on for several weeks without saying anything, but some threads (sadly) have so many people on them that it can be a bit hard to follow, or it feels awkward to jump into the middle of a conversation between people who have been chatting for a while. Does anyone fancy joining me on a new thread?

My story: 33, TTC baby #1, conceived first cycle in Feb, but had a MC at 6 weeks in early March. Absolutely awful, as everyone knows, and I was in a rubbish place mentally for a few weeks, but I've also counted my blessings - it was early, I needed no medical intervention and at least I know I can conceive. Also AF has returned today - 29 days after first day of my MC. I usually have a 28-29 day cycle so am so grateful that my body seems to be getting with the programme again.

So CD1 for me, and I'll be TTC this month and back to tracking - BBT from tomorrow, OPKs from CD 11, still taking my Pregnacare and trying to keep exercising and eating healthily!

Would anyone like to join me if they're going through something similar? How have you been coping since your MC? What's on your TTC to-do list?! (Other than the obvious..!)

Baby dust to all xx

@bea19 ah I'm really sorry, that's beyond rubbish. This whole TTC thing can be so unfair!

Im so sorry to hear that @bea19 ! Hope ur ok x

@bea19 I'm so sorry love, that is so cruel. I hope you're ok xx

Omg does this look like a line to you? Came up within 3 minutes and is definitely pink but also a bit thinner than the control... trying not to get my hopes up as it is so very early...

@SparrowMaiden That is definitely a line!!!! How many dpo are you?? It's always thinner than the control line until a while after your period is due. Congratulations!!!

@Flopsy88 Thank you! 11dpo... due on on Saturday I think.... I'm so scared it's not going to stick again. I am going to do a digital test at the weekend but I'm already anxious about it.

Eeek exciting @SparrowMaiden! Keeping everything crossed for you.

Thanks for your kind words ladies. @SparrowMaiden congratulations!!

@bea19 sorry to hear about your sad news, hope you're doing ok.
I am currently on CD16 & waiting for positive OPK, I usually ovulate around CD17 so I'm hoping it's soon, this is the first proper month ttc after my mc at end of May!
Good luck to those in the TTW, hope some BFP's are on the way Xx

@SparrowMaiden 🥳 congrats! Will keep everything crossed for you my love x

OK so I have promised myself I'm not going to do the digital until Sunday so I give myself the best chance of not being upset by seeing "not pregnant" but I'm also super impatient!! Please help me not test tomorrow!! (AF due tomorrow so won't be officially late until Sunday)

@SparrowMaiden to be fair you have much better willpower than me because I would be testing every day!! Wishing you the very best of luck xx

Hi everyone!

It’s been a while since I’ve commented, life has been crazy busy. I ended up getting my dream job and finish up my current position in 3 weeks.

This new job comes with much better benefits (main emphasis on the maternity), in that they offer 25 weeks full pay then the rest statutory if you’ve been with the company 6 months by the time you conceive.

My only worry is that we’ve already tried for 4 months with no luck (have taken a couple months off due to job interviews and overall uncertainty when it comes to the job front).

If You found yourself in the same scenario, would you wait the 6 months, or just go for it and forego the enhanced maternity pay?

I’ve only just turned 27, so feel I have the time, but also feel so ready for our rainbow baba 🌈!

Hi @Aila1994 - congratulations on your amazing new job!

I guess realistically it comes down to money. If you can comfortably afford to live and care for a baby on statutory maternity pay, then I would say carry on ttc. You never know what's going to happen and you could be trying for 6 months before conceiving anyway. However, if not having that extra money is going to throw you into a difficult situation financially then it isn't worth the risk, and I would say wait. I was incredibly lucky first time around - I had much fewer outgoings than I do now, so I had plenty of spare cash when on mat leave despite pretty rubbish mat pay from my former job. This time I get much better mat pay, but if I didn't I would be questioning if I could afford another baby at all because my outgoings are so much higher (nursery fees are killer, and we have a bigger mortgage now). I'd also say to make sure you consider money that you'll need beyond the basics (nappies etc). It can be really lonely being a new mum so just having enough money to go for a coffee or go to a baby class (if these things continue to be possible, of course!) is really important. Anyway. It's a tough one and I know the waiting is awful but you should should honest with yourself about what life would be like in either situation.

@Aila1994 congratulations on your dream job! What amazing news. Really tough on the ttc question though. I agree with @SparrowMaiden though and 25 weeks full pay sounds like pretty impressive mat pay (for the UK anyway…)

@SparrowMaiden @bea19 it’s a tough one, if I hadn’t of got this new job and had fallen pregnant in my current role I would have only received statutory maternity anyway!

I also don’t want to be that person who walks into a new role and gets pregnant straight away.

I think we’ll stop preventing after 3 months or so of me starting my new role, but won’t start actively trying until after the 6 month mark. Kind of leave it to fate!

Frustrating that we need to think of things like this as women!

Just wanted to update, 1 day late today and... 😊

@SparrowMaiden congratulations! That’s fantastic 😊. How are you feeling so far?

Sounds like a sensible plan @Aila1994. And I’m sure the six months will go more quickly than usual when you’re getting stuck into your exciting new job.

I spoke to my GP on Friday and he has referred me to the recurrent miscarriage clinic. No guarantee they will see me (they ‘assess all referrals’ before contacting you), or how long I might have to wait, but I fit the criteria on their website so fingers crossed.

Hope everyone is ok and has a lovely Sunday.

Congratulations @SparrowMaiden that's great news!

Let us know how you get on @bea19. I wondered about contacting my GP but when I went for my MVA the hospital told me I'd need to have 3 before they'd look into it.

Thanks!!

That's great that your GP has referred you @bea19 I hope they will see you. The three in a row rule is so ridiculous and unfair.

I'm feeling OK, still quite anxious/nervous but slightly reassured as I didn't get a +ve on a digital last time... also dh and dd have had a horrible cold all week (not covid, we tested!) and I suddenly seemed to get it yesterday so now i don't know if I'm feeling rough from pregnancy or the cold!!!

Thanks ladies, I really hope they will see me. The three in a row rule is ridiculous. This is my third MC but only two of those have been consecutive. The clinic I’ve asked for referral to says they accept referrals after three miscarriages, or two if you are over 35 (which I am) so it might be worth looking into if you still wanted to seek care @TBF29 (sorry, I can’t remember how old everyone is!) It isn’t my nearest clinic, I’m certain the local one would be enforcing a three in a row rule (their EPAU repeatedly refused to see me even when I had symptoms of ectopic pregnancy earlier in the year so I was going to avoid them anyway!)

@SparrowMaiden so great you got a pregnant result on a digital, your hcg must be rising nicely. Sorry you and your family have got a nasty cold though.

Congratulations @SparrowMaiden! Fingers crossed for a happy and healthy 9 months for you.

Very good news about the referral @bea19 - hopefully that all goes smoothly and you get some answers and support asap. Look after yourself in the meantime

I hope everyone else is well. I’m at 8+3 today, got an early reassurance scan tomorrow. Please keep fingers crossed for me! I have read far too much about missed MCs and am nervous. Have been feeling tired, nauseous when hungry (and actually sick a couple of times) and have sore boobs though so hoping everything is as it should be 🤞🤞

Congratulations @Aila1994! Missed your message in my previous post. Fantastic news on the job. It’s such a personal decision but I think in your shoes I’d wait 6 months and get the extra financial security. Perhaps that’s easy for me to say because I’m 33 and didn’t meet my DP until I was 28 nearly 29! So having a baby wasn’t on my list at all at 27. You have sooooo much time. But obviously I can understand wanting to crack on TTC if that feels like the next thing in your life plan. But I wouldn’t do it just because you’re worried about it taking a while - 4 months really is no time at all (although I do know from experience it doesn’t feel like that!) and you could start TTC at 28 or 29 or even 30 and your odds of conceiving won’t be any less than they are now. Good luck with the decision - it’s a tricky one!

@Lowkeyloopy Good luck for tomorrow lovely! All your symptoms sound good🤞🏻 I'm feeling really sick too and can't stop eating. I've just been for an early scan this afternoon at 7 weeks. I'd been feeling really positive until today but as soon as we arrived at the clinic I couldn't stop crying and told the sonographer I was expecting bad news after last time. She was so lovely and showed me the heartbeat straight away. Measuring 6+6 with is perfect 🥰 It doesn't feel real!!

@SparrowMaiden congratulations that's amazing news
@Lowkeyloopy good luck with the scan tomorrow, hope all goes well
@Flopsy88 congratulations on a successful scan, hope that helps to ease anxiety a bit

I got my peak ovulation today on CD19 so the wait begins for me.... fingers crossed