The SI Undergraduates: Syringes, Yoghurt Pots and Legs in the Air part 4

[MrsKin90]

I hope this name is okay. It's late and nobody is volunteering so it'll have to do 😂

Starting yet another thread on self insemination before our other one kicks us out!

Welcome to THE most supportive group you could wish for if you’re starting or you are already on a self insemination journey.
Remember, nothing is TMI and you are not alone. 💖

Err tagging at random but likely to forget someone...

@Makingnumber2
@Janefx40
@primrosechill
@Sydney1986x
@Birchybirch
@Lori23TTC
@Oilyoilyoilgob
@Carol1980

I know I've definitely missed people 😬 sorry!

I'm not tagging our bfp ladies right now (would you want to be tagged?! I've no idea) but hope they keep an eye on us and chip in often with wisdom and support ❤️

Morning everyone,

Hope you had a lovely Easter weekend. I am so lethargic today, too much chocolate and socialising 😂. I saw my parents, sister etc on Sunday and oh my god I was shattered after!

I didn’t get my strong positive OPK, until last night 9pm.... so that means there’s been 3x darkest lines this month and not darker than the control line. What is going on 😖!! I am supposedly 6 days away from AF. Considering SI this morning due to the dark line last night...?

I’m sorry to read some ladies have had AF show up 🥺 and @Makingnumber2 as weird as it sounds typing this I hope yours shows!!

@Oilyoilyoilgob I am so sorry you and DP have been arguing... it’s normal as upsetting as it is, this is so stressful and we always take things out on those closest to us & as harsh as this sounds I don’t think men will truly understand the turmoil we go through monthly and not to mention the dreaded AF symptoms!! I hope today is a better day for you both x

@rs2015 that’s amazing - well done and good luck for your next cycle!

For those having IVF please continue to keep us updated!!

Oh and welcome @mummysharkk do feel free to ask any questions, no question is silly here and everyone is so supportive!! For us, we started SI’ing about 3 months ago, to ease the pressure. We use either a syringe or the ferti-lily to put ‘the goods in’ we use pots and you can buy kits online either on eBay or Amazon (all packaged so sterile)!
I also watched some YouTube’s for help and asked a lot on here too.. we tend to SI in the lead up to ovulation, during and then 1-2 times after, as much as we can manage basically!! good luck to you 😉

Hi @Sydney1986x wow that sounds a great social weekend! I hope you had a lovely one and are now recovering from social and choccie overload 😁

Try not to worry too much about your opks, you’ve had some dark ones and it sounds like you’ve kept very on top of SI too! You've given your absolute all. The nhs/fertility websites say the best way to get pregnant is by having sex 2-3 times a week over each month, you’ve done more than that so you’ve done fantastically ☺️

Yes our arguing was bad, my husband is really upset about no baby and it’s definitely got to him this month 😞 my pmt is never either so not a good combo.
He’s panicking about my age, which is of course right as it’s my eggs that’ll be getting affected by age (still can’t believe I’ll be 40, I honestly just don’t feel it and I do need to start realising this) but I totally bit onto that during arguing and told him I do not need extra pressure on top of already shitty pressure each month.
Then I did finish it by saying 40% of infertility as listed under our local ivf is down to men 😇👿 so yes very tit for tat and getting mean but this journey has been too pressurising to keep it in.

We did also say how we both thought what awesome times off we’d have with a child in tow.
I’m just ready to have a baby and a child to grow with and teach etc. I’m just ready for more in my life and I’m just absolutely gutted it’s not the straightforward journey we assumed it would be xx

@Oilyoilyoilgob so sorry you guys have been fighting - but like you said, you do NOT need any more pressure on top of everything else. I know it's such an easy thing to say and hard to do but he does not have any right to make you feel rubbish about your age or your eggs.

@Sydney1986x sorry your opks are not collaborating! Man our ovaries are such a nightmare sometimes.

Well, despite my BFN yesterday morning, my period still hasn't arrived (I'm 14dpo and one day late atm) - guess who's starting to get her hopes up again 🙄 I was totally emotionally ready for my AF and ivf and this delay is going to mess it all up and I'll probably be a crying mess after all!

@primrosechill yeah it’s just a bit crap feeling like I’m over the hill when mentally I honestly feel about 27! I really do need to start realising that I’m not 27 though but to be honest he got an absolute bollocking.
It did shut him up when I said, despite his SA through the GP that a huge portion of infertility is down to men so he’s best to shush his smugness and wind his neck in. That’s the polite version of what I said 😅

Oh bless you, one day late-eek! As ever, hoping so much this is your month Primrose. Wishing you all the luck in the world xx

Hi @Oilyoilyoilgob sorry you've been fighting with you other half. TTC puts so much pressure on. Please don't worry about turning 40! I had no kids when I turned 40 so I know how it feels but really it's just a number. True fertility declines as you get older but that won't happen overnight. I had my first child when I was nearly 42. And as you quite rightly said, we put way too much emphasis on women - men play a role in TTC too!!! But it is normal to have tense times during TTC - hope you both feel better soon

@primrosechill sorry about the awol AF (although yes it would be lovely if there was a good reason for it!!).

Love to everyone else. Sorry am crap at OPKs!!!

Well, the plot thickens. 15dpo, period was due on monday and I got an absolute SQUINTER on a chepie today. So faint that no photo will even pick it up and husband is telling me I'm seeing things (I put it down to him not having peed on any sticks ever and to him wanting to be the bad cop to prepare me for disappointment 😂)

I will definitely not say it's a bfp yet - it's SO light for how late in the game it is but I will order a digital tonight and try tomorrow... 😬🤞🏼

Good luck to me for trying to focus on anything at all today hahaha

@primrosechill 😱😱🤞🤞🤞🤞 I'm so excited for you!!! Is your AF usually quite reliably on time? You're better off just calling in sick for the rest of the week in my opinion 😁 I have everything crossed that this turns into a bfp for you xx

@Sydney1986x possibly a bit late now but I'd advice doing SI if you're not 100% sure you ovulated, especially it you've gotten another positive OPK. It can't hurt!

@Oilyoilyoilgob sorry to hear you're having a few arguments 🙁 I'd be furious if hubby blamed our situation on me even if I was 100 years old. You're not even 40 yet and isn't the 40 the new 30? Loads of people have kids in their 40's. Men's fertility declines with age as well - just not as quickly as ours does. Hope you've let it all out of your systems now and things tick along on a bit more of a peaceful setting 😊 sending you lots of hugs, it sounds like a tough time ❤️

Have a lovely day everyone xx

Hi ladies sorry I've been a bit late in replying !

My car broke down the other day so I've been trying to do nursery run in a taxi ! Much to the amusement of my daughter, she was loving it and kept telling the driver mummy car was broken !

Still not fixed but hopefully tomorrow I will get it back !

I continued to bleed but again not like normal AF for me. But continued to take the IC tests and the line is almost gone now.

Bleeding has now stopped, which is great, as it means that I can finally start my opK's !!

I've had the odd cramp here and there but to be honest all in it was just a very very strange cycle from start to finish!!

So I'm am cd6 I think ! So I'm going to start testing today. Decided that I'm going to do late in the day testing on my opk's as opposed to FMU, just for something different.

I've also for some Biovena progesterone cream arriving today. I'll need to read up properly as to when I should be taking it, so anyone who has used it before with some advice would be amazing x

@MrsKin90 aw bless you thank you! Don’t worry, he’s not blaming it on me but I think he’s very jittery about the 40+ figures for egg quality and live birth results from ivf.

To be honest, I can’t disagree with him.

Feel like I’ve painted him as a monster 🙈 he’s definitely not saying ‘this is your fault’ but he’s definitely saying ‘we need to start the ball rolling ASAP’ and I honestly can’t disagree.
I read stories on here and famous celebs at 40+ having a baby but reading the ivf info pack being 40+ definitely affects so much more, including some of the private packages they do. At 40+ they also do further interviews with the head honcho in regards to going ahead!

So yes it’s very rude of him to mention my age (!) but he is right as I think he knows I’d keep my head in the sand and going for a good few months doing it this way, which might come to nothing and then we are more limited in ivf options.

We are all sorted now and back on track, it definitely got to us this month because we switched up our methods and had one try having sex, we both admitted we’d been thinking ‘this could be our month’. Bloody hard going this, on us all 💚

@primrosechill I have every hope for you that this is your month. Fingers crossed and wishing you so much luck 💖✨🤞🏻

@MrsKin90 yes, my period is usually reliable and I haven't had a cycle longer than 25 days since the MC - I'm on day 27 now so getting hopeful! But I'm also trying to stay distracted today - if I go the whole of today with no bleeding and get a positive test tomorrow, I'll allow myself to believe that I might not need the ivf jabs in my fridge after all...

@Oilyoilyoilgob I know what you mean about not wanting to obsess about age too much but also knowing the potential impact - it sounds to me like you are considering all the right steps and mentally preparing yourself for different options, so it's all headed in the right direction.

@Carol1980 glad the bleeding has stopped and that you can start opks soon! Wishing you all the luck for this cycle x

@Oilyoilyoilgob sorry you and DH have had a rocky few days with arguments around TTC. It is such a stressful process for all involved and I have found myself getting quite cross with DH numerous times when he's not been taking vitamins/has more than 1 beer etc. etc. I think it's wonderful if TTC doesn't impact people's relationships negatively but personally I have found DH and I have been snappy with each other now and again over things like supplements/diet/alcohol etc. I hope everything has settled down a bit now for both of you.

@primrosechill oh my goodness (!!!) I am going to be keeping everything crossed this keeps going in the right direction and that you get to reclaim your fridge space back! Keep us posted and hope you manage to keep busy today and resist urge to test every few hours!

@Carol1980 what a nightmare about your car- but I'm sure your DD has loved the novelty of taxi-ing in. Good news your bleeding has stopped and OPKs can begin again. Hope you're not kept waiting too long for a positive OPK.

@Sydney1986x I agree with Oily- you have definitely more than covered all bases! It is annoying the OPKs haven't given a straightforward pattern this month but I think sometimes our bodies just love to throw us a curve-ball!

I am pretty sure my HCG tests are now negative which is good and I'm about to order in another load of HCG and OPK cheapie strips on amazon so let the POAS fun commence!

@Makingnumber2 glad your now BFN too x

Have you ever thought of using the clear blue ovulation? I found with the cheapies that it was just so hard to tell and if you get a dodgy batch the line just stayed the same depth of colour 🤦🏼‍♀️

Right I now have my progesterone cream !!

Been reading lots on it to make sure that o do it right !!

First opk today I'm taking just now, empty circle of doom 🤣 but it's expected. If I follow my usual the as soon as I ovulate I start using the cream, and take a test 14 days after ovulation. If it's negative the. Stop using the cream to allow my usual AF.

Wish me luck ladies !!

I think we will do what we did last time and SI the entire fertile window !!

Fingers crossed for you @primrosechill 🙏🏼🤞🏻🥰🥰

@Oilyoilyoilgob I’m so sorry your AF properly arrived and the arguments with hubby - it’s understandable to feel the way you do. A few cycles ago I felt so positive we were pregnant and it just hits you like a truck when AF comes - after so long trying you try to not allow yourself to get the hopes up but it’s so hard done months! Your lovely walk along the beach sounded bliss and glad that helped you to feel a bit better.
You sound so ready to be a mum, the universe needs to wake up and see how much we are doing for our unborn children and give us a chance! In regards to ivf it might be worth getting the ball rolling - it’s just another chance on another cycle 🤞

@Sydney1986x
How annoying about your opks I can feel your frustration-but like the others have said if does sound like you have been good with your SI so I hopefully you have five more than enough 🤞 do you record bbt?

@primrosechill eekk this is exciting! Some people don’t get any kind of like till much later so with no AF I think this sounds really positive ❤️ Keep us updated x

@Carol1980 sorry about your car! So annoying when you have car trouble and costs a fortune too! Hopefully it will be sorted soon!

Xx

@Makingnumber2 and @Lori23TTC yes I feel the same, it’s fortunate if this journey doesn’t impact but I know it does for so many couples. We’ve definitely bickered over husbands alcohol (he has a drink one night a week) and I do try to remind myself not to be the life/fun police.
Like Lori says it’s very hard when you get hopes up, I’m finding it difficult because I now err on deliberately NOT getting hopes up but that in itself isn’t a great way to be for two weeks.

Said last night to husband that it’d be great to get a letter/text assuring me I will get pregnant within the next x amount of months! Just to stop the thinking of ‘is this ever going to happen for us’

Making, I’m ever so glad to read your hormones are settling and you’re taking delivery soon of all your opks, it sounds like you’re getting the ball rolling again after such a horrible time for you xx

I'm out ladies. The floodgates opened out of nowhere. Maybe it was a chemical pregnancy? I am so frustrated because I was genuinely so emotionally ready for ivf two days ago and then the last 1.5 days introduced an unnecessary sudden wave of hope - and I ended up bawling my eyes out, of course. It's such a rollercoaster and I feel so so low at the moment - exactly NOT how I wanted to go into IVF and yet tomorrow will be day 1 of treatment for me.

@primrosechill
I'm am so sorry that this has happened 😢

It's scary how easy our brains adjust to a new way of thinking so quickly, and like you said 2 days ago you were geared up for IVF x the initial shock, sadness and frustration of AF showing up will pass and you'll be raring to go by tomorrow x keep strong lady x

The ivf journey might be what you need to do x it's a ray of hope for a child for many millions of people and your obviously a prime candidate for it ❤️

So what's your next step ? X

Im so sorry @primrosechill- that is so hard to start letting yourself think you may not need to begin the IVF after you had geared yourself up for it and then being brought back to needing to start tomorrow. It is no wonder you’re feeling so emotional and needing a good cry. I hope you can get some treats in this eve and a good nights sleep and I am sending you lots of positive vibes for your first day of Ivf tomorrow. Xxx

@primrosechill I'm so sorry AF got you - I'm not surprised you were upset. I had everything crossed for you. But tomorrow you start a new chapter. There's no real way to be ready anyway - it's just a "best foot forward" type scenario. Good luck tomorrow xxx

@Carol1980 car trouble is such a pain but glad your DD is enjoying the taxi rides. I've never used progesterone cream but have had a frozen transfer (so a natural cycle) in the past and they gave me progesterone from the day of transfer (so 5 days after ovulation). This IVF cycle which was all medicated start to finish, I was given progesterone from ovulation/egg collection. Not sure if that's of interest or not! Good luck with it.

@Oilyoilyoilgob hope things have settled a bit with the DH. None of this is easy. Yes, if you only knew that you would eventually have your baby, all this would be so much easier. If it helps nearly all of my friends had babies in their late 30s/early 40s (we're a strange bunch!) I won't lie - there's been a lot of IVF between us but every single one of us got there.

@Makingnumber2 I'm glad your tests have gone negative although I know it can be a strange moment too. Sounds like you are ready to get going again so best of luck with it all

Xxx

Thank you for all the lovely words ladies. I think for the rest of tonight I'm just going to curl up in bed and have a good old fashioned cry - hipe to get it out of my system, get a good night's sleep and wake up with more power tomorrow. I feel heartbroken today 💔

Sorry for being selfish today and not engaging with any of the other chats - just feel deflated but I will be back soon to support you all, fellow SI sisters! x

@primrosechill I’m so sorry 😢 try and get a good nights sleep and I really hope you have enough strength to get started on the next chapter tomorrow. I’ll be thinking of you ❤️ Xx