The SI Undergraduates: Syringes, Yoghurt Pots and Legs in the Air part 4

[MrsKin90]

I hope this name is okay. It's late and nobody is volunteering so it'll have to do 😂

Starting yet another thread on self insemination before our other one kicks us out!

Welcome to THE most supportive group you could wish for if you’re starting or you are already on a self insemination journey.
Remember, nothing is TMI and you are not alone. 💖

Err tagging at random but likely to forget someone...

@Makingnumber2
@Janefx40
@primrosechill
@Sydney1986x
@Birchybirch
@Lori23TTC
@Oilyoilyoilgob
@Carol1980

I know I've definitely missed people 😬 sorry!

I'm not tagging our bfp ladies right now (would you want to be tagged?! I've no idea) but hope they keep an eye on us and chip in often with wisdom and support ❤️

... AF has arrived.

@Sydney1986x please don’t apologise for feeling negative, it’s a bloody hard process this-we’ve all had ups and downs on here and it’s a safe place for us to be allowed to do that.

I’m so sorry your period has come and that it’s not been a good week for you, I really do hope you are ok and I’m sending you a big virtual cuddle 💚

A private therapist is a great idea, I love therapy, it’s such a helpful and useful tool to help work through things.
Your bmi will come down just take any weight loss steadily, it will happen and that’s the best way as it’ll keep your body nourished enough for a healthy pregnancy.

You enjoy getting your treatment now on Saturday and see it as something totally indulgent for you. Hopefully you can plan some other things for this weekend that are just focussed on you and looking after yourself, and hopefully easing some of that pressure.
Big hugs 💚 xx

Congratulations @Remembermee! 🤞🤞 Hoping for a happy healthy nine months ahead for you 😊

So excited for you all ovulating/just entering your tww! 🤞🤞 Will be praying for BFPs all around.

@Oilyoilyoilgob hooray for your results all looking good 😊

@Janefx40 very sorry about your IVF cycle not working. Sending big hugs! ❤️

@Sydney1986x so sorry AF is here for you 😟 and you've just had a terrible week! I hope you're doing lovely things for yourself. Lots of relaxing, distracting yourself with nice things, a trip to a pub garden or shopping with the masses? I too am feeling incredibly overwhelmed just lately, not that helps but please know you're not alone and it's completely understandable although utterly shit. I expect we will end up needing IVF too (although I still don't know that, it's not far off two years for us so it's logical to assume it'll be that way). I have 3 stone to lose for my fertility clinic referral and I can feel the pressure actually squeezing me to death 😵‍💫 Happy to be a weight loss check in buddy if you need one!

I know AF is on the way, hoping today will be CD1 so I can crack on. We will get hubby's sperm test results next weds. I don't have good feelings about it. I'm just going to focus on weight loss, self care and keeping going until we get to the next steps! ❤️ much better place mentally today than I was at the weekend 😳

@MrsKin90 thank you, I think it’ll be scans for me next with ivf so hopefully they’ll go ok once that ball gets rolling.

There’s a few of us here now that are considering/starting ivf so the best thing is we’ll not be alone in this journey. You’ll be able to get there with your bmi, we all can.
I’m mantra like in my head that this weight off is needed for a healthy pregnancy and birth, also in losing weight this last year I feel a (tiny!) bit nicer about myself, as in getting healthier and fitter and being less out of breath!

I really am crossing everything that your husband SA comes back ok, and I’m really pleased that you feel better mentally. You’ve been really strong through all this time on these threads you know xx

@Oilyoilyoilgob it's so good you've got the ball rolling though, super proud of you for getting it going ❤️ it's such a hard process!
I'm using a "do you want a baby or a biscuit?" Approach to weight loss 😂 so similar! "Is that cake as cuddly as a fat little mini-me? No. It could never be!".
I'm feeling quite positive about having 3 stone to lose initially. I'll need to lose more than that overall but that's my target to be eligible for referral. I just would like the weight to wiggle off a bit quicker.

Well done on the weight loss progress you've made so far, and for being so strong, and feeling better about yourself! You deserve to. You've come through some utter shit and you're here moving forward despite all of that.

I think I come across stronger than I am as I do a lot of bouncing back from super super lows but they're relatively short lived thankfully! I was at the point on Sunday of "what's the point to life if we don't have children"? As we've no back up 'oh we'd do that instead' plan. So I had to give myself a right talking to yesterday. If I can't see my life without a baby then I really need to be doing absolutely everything possible to achieve that. And for me that means weight loss 💪

@MrsKin90 I am also a "bouncer". I'm very quick to bounce back from lows. I think it's a good thing but my DP finds it hard that I am so up and down (rather than emotionally dead like him - sorry that is a bit mean - he's really very nice!!)

Losing weight isn't easy especially when you're going through something emotional. Definitely a good idea to support each other through it. I did the couch to 5K about a year after I had my DD. I'm not sure that the running made me lose weight specifically but I think feeling fitter helped keep me away from snacking so much.

@Sydney1986x sorry AF got you. I'm a big fan of therapy so think that is a great idea. We're all under so much pressure and TTC just makes it overwhelming.

@Janefx40 I’m so sorry you’re IVF wasn’t successful for you sending lots of love ❤️

@Sydney1986x oh I’m sorry AF arrived 😞 enjoy Saturday now you can, I think therapy sounds like a good idea, I was considering that a few cycles ago as I was in such a low place I wasn’t sure how to get out but I’ve somehow managed to pick myself up a bit so haven’t looked into it properly. It is such a hard journey and you are constantly hit with a different emotion at every turn so understandable we all feel pretty hopeless. I’m so glad we have each other. I went into my first month after my hycosy so positive but it didn’t help us at all for the 3 months after which is a shake as it does increase your chances, hopefully your next cycle will be the one!

@Oilyoilyoilgob good news about your tests and for getting them done on your own - I’m glad you feel relieved from the results, just takes a bit of pressure off ☺️

@MrsKin90 do I want a baby or a biscuit 🤣🤣 you’ve made me day saying that!

Xx

Thank you ladies for your kind words, you’ve helped make today less painful and cheered me up.. thanks for taking the time out to reply to me 🥰 you’re all amazing!

@Oilyoilyoilgob you always know what to say thank you! Hope you’re doing ok!

@MrsKin90 thanks for your kind words and yes would love a weightless buddy to keep each other motivated! Food is my emotional crutch and has been a control thing for me in restricting so I’m slowly learning to lose weight healthily again.

@Janefx40 I’m so sorry to hear IVF didn’t work for this cycle. That must be heartbreaking for you.. i hope you’re taking care of yourself, sending love to you.

@Lori23TTC thank you, will definitely have a nice weekend and enjoy my treatments. I’ve even been able to use my aromatherapy bath stuff too this evening which was a treat. Have therapy booked tomorrow so hopefully that will help with having some where neutral to offload. Where are you in your cycle?

I’ve purchased the clear blue fertility monitor 🤦🏼‍♀️ Has anyone used? Xx

@suzy124 you’re welcome to join us here - lovely bunch of ladies who all use SI method 👋🏻

@Sydney1986x honestly with the amount of clear blue I've purchased over the past year I would have been better getting the bloody monitor 🤣🤣 so haven't used it but I'm so tempted to buy one ! I really hope your feeling better thought x

Read back over the comments from today, I really hope the next IvF cycle goes much better @Janefx40 gutted to hear that it hasn't worked this time round 😢❤️

I apologise if I have got names mixed up or I'm missing folk out, I have a memory like a goldfish these days 🤦🏼‍♀️

@MrsKin90 biscuit or baby !! Totally stealing that one !!

We have put ovulation down as yesterday so I'm officially 1DPO.
Had pretty bad ovulation pain yesterday, like hot water bottle painful ! Feeling much better today though 😁

I'm going to start doing the progesterone cream tomorrow in the hope that it might get a bean to stick !!

Wishing you ladies all the luck in the world at whatever stage you are at just now x

@Sydney1986x
I re-read what you were saying about bmi and honestly I'm sick to death about it being used as a tool against women !!
When you actually read about how bmi started...in was raging about it !!!
Did you know that the BMI scale was developed using the measurements and weight of a European MAN !!! WTF !!!
Last time I checked we are Not men and it doesn't matter how big a guy claims his balls are...they will never be as big as a female's boobs, not have the same weight !!!

So how the hell can they limp everyone in to the same scale ?? I'm honestly absolutely confused and annoyed by it all !!

@Carol1980 same re the tests so thought I’d give the monitor a go 😂 anything is worth a shot at this point but it’s not cheap of course.. and as for BMI I wholeheartedly agree, it’s a load of bollocks. If I was needing another medical procedure or MH support I wouldn’t be denied based on my height and weight unless there was serious risk. Of course everyone knows carrying extra weight can affect ovulation and fertility but it doesn’t mean women should be denied the help the desperately need. It feels draconian and oppressive 💔

Good luck with your 2WW I hope it flies by and you get your BFP 🙌🏻

So sorry you’ve had such a tough week and that AF got you @Sydney1986x We are always here for you to vent to. I hope you enjoy your Botox at the weekend and I hope your therapy session goes well. I am a big fan of therapy and have found it hugely useful in the past.

@MrsKin90 I am totally stealing your biscuit or baby mantra! I also have a decent amount of weight to lose. I know losing it would improve my fertility and make any future pregnancy lower risk too.

@Carol1980 totally agree about BMI!

@Carol1980 I totally agree re bmi, it doesn’t take into account different builds even. I used to work with someone the same height as me but she was absolutely petite widthways, like a little pixie! I looked like a linebacker stood next to her (this is when I was bloody thin too!)
The other crap thing is that the help is very much lacking too, and the reasons behind weight gain-medical/mental/physical etc and it’s just another burden of pressure on our shoulders ☹️
Especially going into ivf, one part of the ladies health check includes bmi, bloody paying to be told I’m over! I’m 26.4 and I need to lose another 9lb to be at the very top of the healthy range.

Awww @Sydney1986x you’re welcome. Likewise for you, you’ve always offered such lovely words. I really do hope you take the time to have a wonderful weekend, use all your aromatherapy stuff with wild abandon whilst you don’t have a bfp and just take time to look after yourself and be selfish!

@MrsKin90 baby or a biscuit 😅 I tried it yesterday with lime & chilli mini cheddars (drooling even writing it) but the mini cheddars won 😳🐷😄 that was my one bag of crisps allowance though, the longest I’ve gone is a week but I just need a bag of something daily 🙊

Hi everyone, and thanks for the tag @Sydney1986x :)

I know it's probably annoying when someone new joins a group where you already know each other, but I'm really feeling so alone in my ttc journey and you all seem like such a lovely bunch! I have read through this entire thread but it's hard to keep up so I apologise if I get a bit lost at times...

A bit about me, I am on month 6 of ttc and my partner suffers from delayed ejaculation. For the first 3 months we were using a soft cup but current method is syringe and then hips propped up. I then put in the fertilily cup after for a while. I'm actually relieved to hear that some of you choose to do SI, in my mind I feel like the chances are lower than intercourse but not sure why. I find myself getting irrationally annoyed at my partner sometimes that we can't try 'normally'. Psychologically this journey has felt a lot longer - I was ready to have kids before my partner as he is a little younger and in the back of my head was the worry of how it was ever going to happen. I never even knew SI was a thing until last year, and once I figured there was no time to lose. As I met my partner a little later in life, all my friends now have little ones and it's so hard to keep it together. I'm also sandwiched between houses that have newborns and I'm having regular meltdowns about it, it's gut-wrenching and my partner just doesn't seem to understand.

I know you're probably all past the ins and outs of how to SI, but it would be really helpful if I could ask a few questions along the way. I find myself getting caught up in the details of how I'm actually doing it, I feel like if I don't do one thing perfectly then the chances are ruined if that makes sense.

Anyway, I'm currently 10 or 11dpo and not feeling hopeful. Only thing is I've been have AF type cramps ever since ovulation day which is new, but I think my body is playing tricks on me again. Last month my boobs were sore before AF came - I have never had this before!

I just want to say how incredibly strong everyone on this thread is, my heart and best wishes go out to you all x

Hi @suzy124 and welcome! I think lots of us have probably struggled at some point or another to come to terms with the fact we have needed to go the SI route. It can feel really frustrating and isolating but please know you're not alone.
Are you going to wait for AF to show or test a bit sooner? Sending baby dust your way! x

Hi @Makingnumber2
It's honestly lifted me up a little knowing that I'm not alone so thank you for the kind words. I take it that you're not able to dtd to conceive either?

I think I'm gonna wait for AF to show, the few times I have tested and got a BFN it made me feel worse just waiting around for her! She's still around 6 days away and I never usually get cramping until a day or two before, so I don't know what's going on down there.

I'm really sorry to hear about your mc, I do hope you're feeling ok. Do you think you're able to start trying again soon? Baby dust to you too! x

@suzy124 I think waiting it out is the best choice although am terrible for not waiting it out myself and I am a bit of a POAS addict 🙈
Yes my DH suffers with DE- has got progressively worse over the last few years. We are lucky enough to have one DC -nearly 3- and conceived her ‘traditionally’ without any issues but things have deffo not been straightforward this time round.
Thanks for your kind words- I actually got a positive OPK a few days back so we have been SI the last few nights. Tonight will be our last night as I’m pretty sure I ov-Ed Monday as I had such bad pains/cramping. I am pleased to be back on TTC wagon and am taking this cycle as a bonus one really because I didn’t think I would get a positive OPK before AF arrived.

@Makingnumber2 sorry to hear that. It's really tough on a relationship. My OH has never been able to once, I get so tired during that I just give up...

That's fantastic that you're back on it already, don't think I'd be as strong as you though I know the feeling of not wanting to let one opportunity pass! I've only noticed some pain around ovulation these last couple of months, I find it weird that I've never had it before or perhaps I'm just focused on my body more. But it's not something I feel I could have missed before? I've read that the pain could be before or during ovulation so I'm doing temps as well to confirm. I get 2 or 3 days of positive OPK just to confuse things.
Can I ask how long you've been trying and briefly what method you use? Everything crossed for you!

@Janefx40 my hubby is a bit emotionally... Stunted? 😂 When things get hard he just closes off. It's like watching someone turn lights off.

@Sydney1986x how are you doing today? 😊 Hope as the days move forward you feel a bit better. CD1 is always the shocker I think.

BMI gives me the absolute rage 😡 I'm so much fitter and healthier than most of my friends and eat so much healthier, and yet I'm the one not healthy enough apparently for fertility support. Absolute joke.
@Oilyoilyoilgob does it matter that your BMI is slightly over? I thought it just had to be under 30! Don't beat yourself up about a single snack. The problem is when it's not just one snack and the snacks become never ending (which is my problem so I have adopted a strict no snacking policy!).

@suzy124 it's actually really lovely when new people join 🥰 nice to know there are so many of us out there and we can look after each other so nobody feels alone. You're more than welcome here ❤️
My husband can't ejaculate during sex, that's how we got here! Babies are everywhere and it's so hard when TTC. This method definitely works as you'll have seen through the thread - there have been lots of successful ladies, hopefully they pop in and see us every now and then.

We use a clean dry cup, a syringe (1ml, 3ml or 5ml I think) or a ziggycup. Collect the sperm however works for you both (some people send partners off to provide the goods, my husband and I do it together for the intimacy), let them sit warmly until liquidy, suck up in a syringe or keep in the softdisc, cushion under bum, in with the goods - super slowly if using the syringe method, and then lots of orgasms and/or relaxing! I've gotten lazy and get up after 5 minutes 🤦 but am going to aim to stay with legs in the air for at least 15 minutes this cycle.

Fingers crossed AF doesn't show for you!

@Makingnumber2 I've got everything crossed for you this cycle, it would be lovely for you to not have another period 🤞❤️

@suzy124 welcome! Lovely to have you here. There are a few different reasons we find ourselves here. My DP can't perform more than once or maybe twice in a week - he just loses (ahem) interest half way through. It becomes stressful and he can't admit it so we often used to miss my key days which is even more important for us as we are older (44). So for us SI has been amazing because we can separate sex for fun from TTC. We use a urine sample pot, a calpol syringe and a fertilily to keep the sperm in.

@MrsKin90 thank you for the warm welcome! I really was feeling like the only one in the world doing it this way!

And thank you for the method info. I have been wondering when people say to let it liquify what the purpose of that is? Is it just so it can be sucked into the syringe easier? I have been using a 10ml syringe and luckily OH can deposit directly into that. I then syringe it in within about 2 minutes after he has provided the goods. I just keep my hips elevated with cushions during and after, but am unable to bring myself to O like that, so I hope that doesn't hurt my chances. Also when you say legs in the air do you mean actually up against a wall or something?

Thank you for the kind wishes. Where are you in your cycle?

thank you @Janefx40 I feel so welcome already :) That makes complete sense separating the two and I'm so glad it relieves the pressure for you. It has been such an eye-opener to learn that others make the choice to sometimes do SI, makes me feel less depressed that we have to it this way! I hope we will all be successful very soon. How long have you been trying if you don't mind me asking.

@suzy124 we're not typical because we are more or less unable to conceive naturally anyway but we try between treatment cycles. We had a now 2 year old from our second IVF cycle. We probably started trying for our second child last February or March. Did a Frozen Embryo Transfer last June that ended in miscarriage. Been trying SI since and just had another fresh IVF cycle that hasn't worked. So we are a bit on and off. Others have been trying more consistently x

@suzy124 welcome to the group.

I am 40 and my husband and I have been ttc for about a year. We took a couple of months off last year after an early MC.

We have one child aged 3 who we had not using SI.

Seems we have hit a wall with regards to ttc no 2.
My hubby is amazing but he gets himself worked up and has DE but on occasion can ejaculate during sex. But to take the pressure off with ttc2 we decided to try SI.
We have been pregnant twice now with SI ( sadly both ending in MC) so we know it def works.

Like the other ladies it's totally up to you how you actually do it but what we usually do is, hubby will go upstairs, get a sample ( as we call it) I get the syringe and use some fertility lubricant. I lay down with the sample between my legs for about 10 mins and then draw up in to the syringe, I usually find where my cervix is before all that so I can angle the syringe a little more in the direction of my cervix. Following the insemination I orgasm a couple of times if I can and I used to lie there for about 30 mins but been getting bored like @MrsKin90 and usually lie there for about 10 mins 🤣

Prior to all of this I use the clearblue advanced OPK and I've just tonight started using progesterone cream to see if it will help with implantation ( more so due to my age and the fact that I seem to be able to actually conceive but have problems implanting properly ) I have a very short LH phase ( usually a 25-27 cycle) and my period are light and only last 3 days, so hoping the progesterone helps.
I've also started taking ( think it was the end of feb I started) the conceive plus ovulation support and fertility support vitimins. Also got the hubby on the same male version 🤣

Phew think I've written a proper essay for you to read 🤣🤣

Happy to answer any questions you have though x