TTC 35+ Thread 8

[M4v3r1ck]

New thread ladies! Hope this works! 😃

@thislittlebird
What are your thoughts moving forward ? Have you been referred to fertility clinic? X

I’m not sure @MgW1. Nhs referral appointment is May 17. I don’t know if they’ll say it’s not worth us trying with clomid or something (for my progesterone issue) which is what I assumed they were going to say before today. Now with his second results being as bad roughly I wonder if they’ll say ivf is the better option? If it is that’s fine and we can get to it ASAP. But I feel in limbo waiting for the nhs appointment because I don’t know what they’ll say. I guess we’ll “try” again next month since I’ll be finished my drugs but I don’t have much hope of success.

@thislittlebird
I have my apt on 7th may as well , its just an info gather telephone apt , I think it will take a few months to get to bottom of our prob. What supplement is he on? Sounds like your doing apl you can x

@MgW1 what dept is your appointment with? Are you guys “unexplained” right now? Mine seems to be at the hospital, it says I need to go to Dr whoever’s gynaecology clinic.

He’s on impryl, private fertility doctor recommended it at a clinic once before.

I guess I can use the time between now and the appointment to investigate best ivf options and clinics for us.

How are you feeling this morning @thislittlebird? My heart honestly breaks for you guys and all the knocks you keep getting.

Feeling a bit “bleurgh” myself this morning. I’m generally pretty positive but I’ve never wanted children and now I’m scared I’m doing this because I think I should and it’s just so stressful staying positive about all the risks. The BFP is just step one, then I wonder if I will basically be holding my breath for 9 months.... I think the problem with us all talking this through (which I love) is being far too hyper-aware of the possible negative outcomes.

I’ll perk up I’m sure. But I’m sort of annoyed I’ve even started trying because now I know I’m in pretty good shape fertility wise, no health issues, normal weight... I wonder if I’d have been happier just not trying, whereas now if I don’t end up pg I’m a failure. It’s weird. I don’t doubt my life will be great without without children (have brilliant step kids and niece/nephew), same for my DH, but it’s a funny no-man’s-land not knowing what’s going to happen.

I read statistics on live births vs pregnancy rates in women 42-44. I shouldn’t have (I’m 42). Can’t even drink wine because 2WW 😫😫😫🤣

Sorry. What a shite post to write first thing. Might delete later. Xx

@thislittlebird
Gynae dept and yes unexplained. We are still trying though whilst waiting , cant bear to even waste 1 month. The stress of it all took its toll a few months ago .. im on anti depressants myself and they are helping massively. Yes id be like you and research into ivf , i think there is a lot of choice. Are you eligible for first free treatment on NHS? X

@thislittlebird sorry you were having a bad day yesterday. Hope you feel a little bit better today xx

@Geriatric1234 sorry you are having a bad day today! This whole journey is so up and down isn't it. Re the miscarriage risk, my understanding is that it is indeed a little but higher for 'geriatrics' like us, but still it is a LOW risk, and statistically it is much more likely that our pregnancies will be successful than that they won't be! And I think that every pregnant woman holds their breath for 9 months regardless of age, it's just the nature of pregnancy that you will never completely relax until the baby is out and in your arms. With regards to the feeling of limbo, I think we can all identify with that. It's like we are standing at the fork in the road, with two completely different paths ahead of us, one with children and one without, and the path we take will determine the rest of our lives. Both of those paths will lead to fabulous, fun and joy-filled lives, but we can't get on and enjoy either of those paths yet because we are suspended in motion until we know if we'll be able to get pregnant or not! The good thing is that you recognise that there are two paths and they will both be great. If you don't manage to get pregnant, it will NOT be because you have failed!!! It will be because fate has decided that you should take that other fabulous path xxx

@Kitekat81 wow what a fab explanation. I really agree that whatever will be will be and is all for the right reasons. Life will go on. I’m feeling better now we have an end date of December as this continuous limbo isn’t good for me- I need to live my life to the full and having a timescale is important so that I know this isn’t going to go on and on and on with the cycle of af-fw-dtd-2ww-af, I’m prepared to do this for a time limited period now as I’ve already done this for a year and by December I feel I need to start making plans for my life that can’t be made right now due to ttc/not knowing if we will be having a baby.

@Kitekat81 You’ve just made me well up (which is not something I’m prone to!)! Thank you, I just really needed to hear that from someone who gets it. You’re completely right, the stats are more on our side than against ❤️ And yes, I think you’ve hit the nail on the head with that feeling of limbo - it’s like I’m not sure how to define myself right now.

@Loladoodle Totally agree - we’ve put December as end date too. It’s too disruptive being on this treadmill forever!

You two are so WISE!!! Thank you! 😘😘

How early do you start using the ovulation sticks? Im a week after AF stopped so am i CD7 or do i start from the 1st day of AF?, sorry it gets confusing 🤦‍♀️

@Bombshell85 I think it depends on your cycle length, mine is is 28 days so I start on CD7 until I start getting highs then 2-3 times a day through the peak until I get lows then I stop.
I buy cheapies 30 for under a fiver on eBay which allows me to test so much.

@Geriatric1234 tbh it’s usually your realistic posts and guidance that makes me feel better! We all have down days it’s good that we can lift eachother up again 💪 I guess we need to see this as a big adventure that we won’t know the outcome of until December! And if it hasn’t happened then we will get excited about the next adventure and all the spare £££ we will have to enjoy life! We only get one shot at life and I’ve realised that even more recently due to some life events. It’s too short to keep things on hold indefinitely! Life’s for living 💃 so let’s do that 🙌

@Geriatric1234
@Kitekat81
@Loladoodle

Thank you - I have just read through your conversation this morning. I really needed to hear your experiences and your wisdom, to know that my feelings aren't unjust. This whole process is so emotional and often it's painful to look ahead, but also painful to be in the moment. We are stuck, worn down, but determined.

@Bombshell85 I started on CD6 because last month and it was my first time using OPKs and I don't feel like I did it properly - am now taking them around the same time each day and just making sure i haven't guzzled loads of water. Seems to be vaguely working as I've seen steady results for three days and now on CD9 a bit of an increase, whereas last month it was all over the place (and then I didn't get a proper peak and even then not til CD20!)

@thislittlebird I've been meaning to ask, how is your skin and how is your anxiety? Have either of the meds made a difference?

@TTCat39 🙌 indeed! Nothing more powerful than the determination of a strong woman 💪 whatever the outcome - we will all be ok 👌

@Geriatric1234 thanks, it sucks lol. I never really wanted ivf but I guess we are running out of options with the odds against us. At this stage I just want to get on with it really. Felt a bit better today though, yesterday was the worst. are you feeling any better now than you were this morning?

I know exactly what you mean about it being step one. I just can’t think beyond getting the bfp one day, it’s too big to wrap my head around. But I know exactly what you mean. Oh, the LIMBO. The goddamn limbo. It’s tedious.

@MgW1 I haven’t felt like my meds have made a vast difference but it is a low dose. How do you feel different on them? I’m curious because I can’t tell if it’s doing much (is only early days).

I didn’t want to waste any months either and kind of lost it that I had to lose this month. But it looks like I never ovulated anyway so....yeah. Not much I can do.

Pretty sure we should be eligible for one round, yeah. I’m 37 still and we have no kids at all between us.

Thanks @Kitekat81, yeah I’m a bit better!

@Noodella18 yes, the skin is much improved. Still healing, but it’s much better than it was a month ago. With the anxiety drug, I find it hard to gauge, if that makes sense? Yesterday was my worst day in a while and I didn’t lose it or anything, but I don’t know if that was the drug helping. Hopefully it will help when I get back to ttc.

@thislittlebird
I have been prescribed sertraline 50mg , felt shocking week 1, less shocking week 2 and then gradually felt better. Been on them 6 weeks. Felt a lot better and sleeping 8-9 hrs per night which is not like me!! Anxiety completely gone , i regret not taking them sooner and suffering for months. Im hoping it helps my chances of conceiving because with the stress i was ovulating way too late. Im hoping to O around day 16 /17 which is right for my 31 day cycle. X

Wow that’s really good that is helped so much @MgW1. I’ve only been on them a couple of weeks, I can’t tell what to make of it yet.

I was ovulating late too, other than the acupuncture month, will be interesting to see how it all pans out when my body gets back to normal.

@thislittlebird
Are you on sertraline?
Stress and anxiety defo impact ovulation. So fingers cross it will improve. Iv cut down on vitamins due to them messing my cycle up. Just on seven seas and extra b6 10mg amd it seems to be right for me. Did you say if your husband has had any tests done i think you did ? Mine has heen doing running and hes cut back on alcohol to 2 days a week x

Can I join please @Feanorous I'm also 38 TTC number 3 I have 2 girls 4 and 8 xx

@Kitekat81 @Loladoodle @Geriatric1234 @TTCat39 omg I can't scream PREACH loud enough!!! 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 😍😍😍 Your messages really described exactly my thoughts/feelings/journey. 😘😘😘

@Geriatric1234 you're getting in trouble for 5 seconds for saying that "you're bringing the group down"! Absolutely not! This goes for us all - Let it all out! Whine, bitch, moan, rant, rave, rage, swear, and curse this blasted process! Asides from my DH and you fabulous ladies, I'm not talking to anyone about this whole process. So having others out there who "get it", are going through this same turmoil of feelings, and can pick me back up when I'm having a down day has been such a massive help and relief! 😘😘😘

@thislittlebird sending you much love! 😘😘😘

@Gummybear17 welcome to this awesome group! 😃

Re: miscarriage risk, one thing I really want to highlight is how much this is not talked about. When I miscarried in Dec I made a point of telling close family and friends (even though I've said zilch about TTC), just in case I ever had a meltdown about something associated with it, and the amount of stories that came outpouring as a result was an eye opener! And that was across the age ranges, not 35+! Even the nurses etc said the same. Sorry, I hope this is not having the opposite effect and panicking people, but I don't want anyone thinking that it's going to happen solely because of your age, it's something that often just happens because conception and development is a mind boggling complex process, if that makes sense. 😘

Sorry I wrote a big massive essay there!!! 🤪🤣

@KG1145 @climbershell how are our resident BFPers doing? Any symptoms etc appearing? 😃😃😃

So I’m out (again!) for this month...and I think now for the next year. It was really interesting to come on here this evening and see some of your views from earlier, quite honestly how I’ve been feeling for a while now. It’s such a ball ache spending so much mental energy on when you’re fertile, when you’re not, what to take to help, what signs to look out for, just all of it feels like too much effort for me at the moment. I have a million things in my life, I’m the MD of a (now largish) company I started from scratch with way too many employees, a beautiful 10 year old son, I’ve dedicated my free time to eventing, a house that needs doing up, a wedding in 11 months and quite frankly the only thing that sometimes makes me feel a bit ‘bluh’ is the stress of not conceiving...so fu*k it, I’m going to put down the opks and the count down to dtd and I’m gonna cruise along for the ride, if it happens it’ll be a lovely surprise. I may put some energy back into it once I’m married next year but for now I’m hitching a ride on the chill out train 🚂!

I’ll keep praying for you all and sending positive baby dust your way and would love to stay in the chat to share your journeys, with a gin in my hand at the same time, but for now, it’s time for me to focus my energy elsewhere. Stay awesome everyone x

@M4v3r1ck I agree re mc, it can happen to anyone at any age! Happened to me last time I was ttc 6 years ago and as difficult as I found it, I’m trying not to let that hinder this process as what will be will be.

@selina37 how you doing?

@M4v3r1ck I'm soooo crazy exhausted! I finished work earlier than planned today, will just catch up Sat. Gonna be shorter days even if means few hours on a Sat for me to get through what jobs I have booked in & taking on much less from now on, turned down some big jobs I quoted for last week. Going to bed 1-2hrs earlier than usual too.

I have had slight right stitch last 2 days and mild cramp, but higher up than pmt cramps. Couldn't get through to doc today, tho I no there's no real rush

Still can't believe it's real tbh and keep expecting spotting or AF when I wipe! Want to test all the time, my mind keeps thinking of mc rates etc... Gonna test once a week til I get that 3+ weeks on CB I think