Recent MC - New cycles & trying again Thread 2

[AMS19]

Previous thread

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/4184729-Recent-MC-New-cycles-trying-again?pg=1

A thread for all the amazing strong ladies who have recently experienced a mc/mmc but are braving it to try again! Fingers crossed for a lucky one for us 🍀

@AMS19 due Saturday or Sunday, so I'm after taking my niece and nephew for a few nights to keep me busy as I'm of work until next week 😁😁

Everything crossed for you @Neady1980 !

How are you all doing ladies? I've finally heard that I've got my scan and then consultation with Professor Regan on Monday! I'm a bit nervous to meet her but I have today while DD is at nursery to write down all the questions I have for her.

On another note I've been getting EWCM the last few days a few days later than usual which I guess means that ovulation is probably a bit delayed... I'm going to do an opk in a bit. So because the scan is Monday so there's no way I could actually be pregnant then, maybe it won't hurt to have some unprotected sex with DH this afternoon? So not realllllly trying, but not preventing? I just can't shift the thought that we could miss a lucky egg.

I know we aren't supposed to really...

What apps/tracking methods are the best to use? I want to ask my friends what they used but we don’t want anyone to know we’re trying as post miscarriage we don’t want the pressure of it all and people knowing and potentially asking. I used to use Clue but they’ve taken the fertile window off now 😟

Hi @CMcA21, just wanted to let you know, with Clue you can go into the settings and re-add the fertile window back on. It was annoying that they removed it as a default, but you can definitely add it back in.

If you still want to change it depends what you track. If you track BBT then Fertility Friend is good or Natural Cycles but that is a paid option. Premom app is good for scanning in LH tests x

@CMcA21 I also use Clue and I did not know you could re-add the fertile window back on, thanks for the tip @PlantMummy87

I am still waiting for my first period post MC. I have ordered some Easy@Home tests from Amazon, I have never used them before, but I think I will download the Premom app too. xx

@Greenluce glad I could help! If you go to the three dots in the right-hand corner, then select Settings and then Predictions you should be able to toggle it back on :)

Fab @PlantMummy87 thanks so much - I didn’t know you could do that and I like clue so I think I’ll redownload it as I deleted it in anger when I had my MC which sounds odd but I felt like I needed to 😂 some psycho behaviours from me this past month seriously

@Greenluce I’m still waiting for mine too and getting impatient, how long have you been waiting?

@AlbiMix that is so true! I feel like I avoid most of my friends who have kids and even my sisters, although in saying that I absolutely adore hanging out with my nieces and nephews, its more so the parents I don’t really want to engage with right now.

@Badlydrawngirly It’s a tough journey, I just feel so overwhelmed by it, and today I cried alot, but I’ve just done a 10min yoga practice for self love and feeling a wee bit stronger. We have our first fertility appointment in 6weeks, seems so far away, but we’ll just keep ttc meantime :) That is so amazing you fell pregnant when you had organized your ivf, there truly must be something in there about being relaxed! Don’t you just wish you could flick the relax button on yourself? Also my cousin had her first ivf baby at 41 then naturally fell pregnant with her second at 43. Xx

@PlantMummy87 Done! Thank you so much

@CMcA21 It's been 26 days since my MC. My cycle is very long and irregular (35-40 days), so I am used to wait! I am trying to stay positive and do everything I can to look after my body, eating well and taking supplements. Yesterday I started exercising again for the first time, I feel so out of shape!

How about you? How long have you been waiting? xx

@Jujujuberry aw bless you, crying is good though. It’s good to get it all out. Yoga sounds good. I know what you Emma W skit wanting to flick a switch, my body seems to fight relaxation! Acupuncture really helps me and kind of forces me to relax.

Hello everyone,

I’ve been following this thread for a while, hope I’m ok to join. Sadly suffered a MC at the end of January. Started trying again last month but AF came today (second one since the MC). I’m pleased that my cycles have settled back quite quickly after the MC but can’t help feeling a little bit deflated. Before the MC we fell pregnant relatively quickly and I guess I naively thought it’d be the same this time. I know I need to put less pressure on myself but it’s easier said than done. Tempted not to use OPKs next month but can’t see me staying away from them really. Has anyone got any tips to reduce obsessing over the whole process? I’m sure that the stress of it all isn’t helping matters. Also finding not being able to plan anything hard at the moment, hopefully once things start to open up a bit more it’ll be easier to distract myself. Just find that I’m constantly googling things at the moment, feel like I’m going a bit mad.

Anyway, just wanted to pop on to say hello and that I hope you’re all having a good day.

Hi @MSK1
sorry to hear that you had a mc!
I 100% understand the obsession over literally everything...
For me what helps is finding a way for my obsession to flow...whether it is writing on this forum, or allowing let's say 2 times 30 min of googling per day, or something like that. I found out that if I just try to suppress it, it get worse!
I don't see anything wrong with opk, to me they help to feel a bit more in control of the situation (for me especially now that I haven't had AF after mc yet, and I used to have very consistent ovulation symptoms and timings) but of course it can be different for other people!
good luck!

Hi ladies

Lots to catch up on, will take a read through

@glowingtwig good news about your scan. Just checking you saw my PM?

@PlantMummy87 how's you feeling?

Xx

Hi @EsseKey, thank you so much for your reply. I’ll definitely try your approach of limiting the amount of googling I’m doing. Doesn’t help that I’m off work at the moment and there really isn’t much else to do!
I know what you mean about OPKs giving us some sort of control but I just find the whole thing stressful, waiting for the static smiley etc. It’s sort of all consuming in a way.
It’s really good to talk to other people who have been through the same thing though. We’ve only told a few people about our MC, all of them have been lovely but only the ones who have been through it really get it. Off to meet my ten day old niece at the weekend, excited about it but also dreading it at the same time. Must try to keep it together!
I’ll keep my fingers crossed that your first period will start soon (unless you’ve tried this cycle of course!!) Good luck to you too x

@MSK1 so sorry you had to go through this but you are not alone and plenty of us are going through the same. Each day I wake up about thinking of getting pregnant, being pregnant and spotting every single change in my body. I was very worried about it at first but then decided I'll just try and let myself get over it. Maybe you just need to let yourself get through this and you will naturally just calm down and come to terms with it.

It is useful to get some other activities. I want to sort out the garden and also thinking of preparing a scrapbook for myself and my partner. I don't feel comfortable sharing how obsessive I am with my partner. He was extremely supporting when I was pregnant and after MC but I doubt he would understand this.

I read somewhere on Mumsnet that people who really want kids usually have them. So we should not think of ourselves as exceptions. It will be alright and we'll have our babies one day

Hello, @MiamiBeach104. Yes you’re right, thank you. My OH knows I’m finding it tough but I don’t think he realises just how much. He’s been amazing throughout the whole MC but I don’t want to worry him/ put more pressure on him by telling him how I’m feeling all the time.

Gardening sounds good and will give you something to focus on, plus you’ll have somewhere nice to sit when the sun finally makes an appearance (what is this snow about?!)

I really hope you’re right, in a few months this will all be a less painful memory and we’ll all get our little rainbows. Will keep everything crossed for you x

I've just seen it now and replied @AMS19 😘

@Greenluce it’s been 27 days since mine, my cycles are usually 28 days but I did a CB test last week and it was still positive. On Saturday I had bad pains and thought it might be ovulation so fingers crossed now. I’ve definitely been comfort eating and wallowing the past 4 weeks so I’ve decided I’m back on the healthy eating and exercise this week. Fingers crossed we get our AF soon. How are you feeling generally? I have my first counselling session tonight from the bereavement team and I’m feeling nervous.

@MSK1 so sorry to hear about your miscarriage. Hope you’re doing ok and recovering well and even though it’s deflating having your AF it’s a good sign everything is working ok and hopefully it can happen for you soon! 😊

Thank you @CMcA21, sorry you’ve had to go through it too. It really is a terrible time. Helps to talk to other people who have been through the same though.
Yes, one good thing is that my cycles seem to have returned to normal quite quickly. I’ll keep my fingers crossed that yours do too xx

@CMcA21 It’s completely normal to feel nervous before your first counselling session. You have been through so much in the past weeks, I really hope that you will find tonight’s session helpful.

This is actually the first time I feel a bit more optimistic since the MC. I am trying to be kind to myself and focus on getting my body ready for the next pregnancy. Thank you for asking xx

Hi @MSK1

I’m really sorry about your miscarriage. I think it’s really hard to try not obsess but the suggestion of trying to just limit the obsessing without stopping yourself completely (which can be counterproductive I think) is a good one.

I’ve only used OPKs this cycle and that was because I had to know when I’d ovulated for a biopsy. It really reassured me that I’d ovulated but then I did become a bit obsessed with doing early tests which were of course negative and they was really disheartening. I am addicted to symptom spotting though and comparing things to other cycles and googling early symptoms!

I think it’s ok to do whatever gets you though this at the moment. I know it weirdly helps me to get to sleep when I’m googling what others have written!

Hi @AMS19 I'm doing okay thank you lovely. Starting to relax into things a bit as know that obsessing over it all won't change the outcome of anything. The worry is always going to be there and some days that worry is very much at the forefront of my mind but trying to be gentle on myself and accept that it is okay to have those sorts of days too. I've had pretty bad nausea and sickness over the past week so that's at least been reassuring. I didn't get many symptoms last time so it is harder to compare last time and this time which I'm finding positive as easier to see this as a completely separate pregnancy.

Hope you are doing okay? Hoping you got your temp rise to confirm ovulation? xx

Morning ladies

@PlantMummy87 that all sounds super positive I'm really pleased 😊 I did have confirmed ovulation so that's good, but the temps this cycle have been a nightmare. Had a huge rise before ovulation which means my post O temps, even though they are high, don't look as high in comparison 🙄 had a dip today but only 5DPO so really hoping it's just a random estrogen surge and I'm not around to have a 5 days luteral phase! I'm only tracking for one more cycle then I'm taking the summer off to enjoy life before getting back on it from late August xx