Recent MC - New cycles & trying again

[Mellous]

Hi all,

A thread for the ladies from the recent MC/MMC group and for anybody else who wants to join us as we discuss getting our cycles back on track after MC and starting to TTC again x

@ams19
@abimix
@plantmummy87
@thehotelcalifornia
@pettylamby
@laurat94
@neady1980

It's crazy isn't it @Mellous I know the chances are only 35% each cycle but I think when it's happened first time for you before you can't help but panic that was our only shot and now it will never happen. I'm driving myself mad with worry worry convinced we are going to need ivf. I think I'm going to wait until the autumn then potentially look into fertility testing at that point if it hasn't happened. I'm at a loss at what more I can now do 🤷‍♀️

@AMS19 and @Mellous I'm with you both! It took me 3 years to conceive with my DD, I stupidly thought it would happen straightaway and when it didnt after having all the tests done to show I was ovulating etc I sort of just gave up! Then got the BFP with her and when I got the first BFP this time around, a year ago, despite knowing I was a LOT older now I stupidly didnt even think of a mc happening, now here I am another year later, 2nd mc just over waiting to see what the hell is happening with my body now!

I will test if AF doesnt appear by the weekend but ladies honestly I am terrified to test, at this minute and time I'd just rather cling on to that wee tiny bit of hope that is left that it MIGHT be good news even though I know it wont, than test and get a BFN and then I'll know I'm out, that sounds mad doesnt it??

@cupcakesandglitter I take my rhr but it doesn't really help me as it doesn't track my bbt. It does increase around ovulation though. Here is my chart from this cycle

@AMS19 omg I’m the same. Especially when you keep hearing “you’re more fertile after a mc!” Yeah right . I’m worrying something happened during the surgery and now I’m infertile!

@gizmo167 gosh I'm not sure how ill cope if it takes 3 years. Honestly I can't even think that is an option right now!
I totally get the wanting to hang onto hope. I was the opposite, had all the typical early pregnancy signs and was worrying that my hopes were getting up so tested to remove the hope from getting out of control. I then started spotting 2 hours after testing and I'm glad I'd tested as it prepared me for it. But totally understand wanting to cling onto any hope you have xx

Ha @Mellous I remember saying to my husband when it happened :if we are more fertile after a mc we are laughing given how quickly we fell." And here we are, me eating my words 😂😂🙋‍♀️ ah, screw it. What will be will be I guess!

@AMS19 @Mellous I was exactly the same - fell pregnant before first time and yet this time it took months and now I’m wondering if it will be months again!? My consultant said chances to fall pregnant after 35 are around 15-20% (same as another gynae I saw for different purposes last year) so I know I can’t just expect it will happen immediately and need to be patient but it still really p**see me off ha! X

@SuzieDeLaTour pissed off sums it up perfectly 😂 my husband says I don't need to worry - not sure when he switched from being an accountant to a fertility consultant 🙄 twat.

@AMS19 @Mellous I'm in the same boat. Fell pregnant first month last time and sometimes end up feeling like it was my first and only chance of motherhood. Just need to remind myself each month that someone that is doing everything absolutely perfectly still is only 35% likely to fall pregnant, so it is really normal that it is taking a little time and doesn't mean anything is wrong. It's so hard to not let the mind jump to the worst case scenario sometimes isn't it.

@AMS19 😂 my husband does this too and it’s drives me nuts

@PlantMummy87 @Mellous @SuzieDeLaTour we are a right little group aren't we 😂😂😂

That's exactly it @AMS19 it feels like I'm going to start bleeding at any point, sort of like a heaviness in the bones down there, if you know what I mean?! Like the bits you sit on 🙈 it's sort of there in the background. Maybe it's increased blood flow to the area. Though I don't usually get pain with AF at all. That does help @LauraT94 and I keep reading it over, thank you.

Thank you so much @PlantMummy87 @SuzieDeLaTour ❤️ my stomach just churns at the thought of it, even though I won't get the results until tomorrow. That's going to be a long day at school. I'm just not feeling positive. Maybe it's a self-preservation thing. That's exactly it @suzie I'm just desperate for some reassurance.

@Pettylamby that made me 😁 about punch in the fanny bone! I'd take daily FB punches if it would guarantee a healthy baby at the end of it!

Thank you @cupcakesandglitter it is the dread of the what-ifs. Getting older doesn't help at all- I was 40 recently and my worry is that since DD my egg quality has taken a massive nose dive. I see her out in the garden and try to come to terms with her being an only one and I just can't. She's 17 months and we started trying for a sibling when she was just 10 months... fell pregnant second cycle, lost it at 6 weeks. Then fell pregnant third go and lost it as a mmc at 8 weeks, measuring 6. So this pregnancy feels very tentative.

Also @AMS19 what you wrote about the worry about it just being a fluke first time really struck a chord with how I felt after my first mc before DD. I convinced myself that was my one chance, it was lost, we would need ivf, an egg donor, be childless... that my husband would leave me for a younger, fertile woman. Your mind does terrible things. But women don't fall pregnant at the first go by fluke... your body wants to be pregnant, it just needs everything to be ready after the mc and it will happen again. 😘 Having said all that, it's currently how I feel about this pregnancy, that it's bound to fail and all the eggs I have left are crap. Hope not.

Just need to get to Friday eve and I'll know if it's not going to work out.

@glowingtwig I'll be 43 next week!!!!

Ah thanks so much @glowingtwig that wasn't so nicely about it not being a fluke. I'm so utterly desperate to be a mummy and it breaks my heart it might never happen. I have absolutely everything crossed for your results tomorrow lovely.

Honeslty ladies, I don't want what I'd do without our little group. It's 3 days away from it being 3 months since my mmc and you ladies have been a rock, especially now most of us have been talking from the start. You all keep me sort of sane! ❤

Was so nicely put even!

Been to EPU guys after going crazy dizzy and pale at work this morning. A scan showed a PUL (obviously for this stage) but my lining is only 3.3mm so definitely not viable. And that's after drinking a fuck load of pom - it does sfa! Had bloods done and will get a call tomorrow, I'm hoping for a low number as miscarriage is the "better option" otherwise it indicates ectopic. Either way they've said they'll keep seeing me with regular bloods etc until 0.

@dippyegg32 aw hun am so sorry, youve been through the mill!

@dippyegg32 sorry to hear this my love, i've been wondering how you are. Are you still bleeding? I don't know what a lining 'should' be and why it would be less than it should be? Hope you're feeling better than this morning and are able to relax this evening. So so sorry for you xxx

Hiya guys I’m here from the MC thread. I’m 2 weeks post MC now and have finally got a negative pregnancy test today. My boobs are killing so I expect my body is gearing up to ovulate! So back to TTC 😂just been catching up.. hope everyone’s well xx

Oh no @dippyegg32 - so sorry you are going through this! Fingers crossed for you it turns out to be the lesser of the two evils! Are you still bleeding now!? Been thinking of you today 😘 xx

Welcome @Brightspark12 xx

@Brightspark12 hello! great news on the negative test! Are you jumping back in this cycle or waiting for a period first? xx

@Mellous I’m conflicted! I don’t think I want to use any contraception (partly cos I cba 😂) and seems wrong when you want a baby! So might just see what happens. I’m hoping my period arrives soon then can get on it. How are you doing xx

@dippyegg32 - I’m so sorry to hear this. Sending all my love and support to you xxx

@dippyegg32 thinking of you. So horrible for you to be back at EPU and receiving news that leaves you in limbo. Sending you a big hug xxxx