TTC 35+ Thread 7

[sickofthisyear]

New thread- apologies for the unimaginative title!

@M4v3r1ck hooray for AF! I know it's always an emotional time, but for you this time it's a new beginning! Onwards and upwards! 😊

Thanks for asking re my results. Well I'm pretty gutted about the low AMH, but not completely surprised after my low follicle count. The ivf thing is a difficult decision. It's weird because if I was doing it with the NHS I would just have to sit back and wait for them to say when it's the right time, but because NHS is not an option for us and I'm fortunate to have the option of going private (not saying it would be easy, but it's a possibility) it kind of means it falls on us to decide when is the right time to start, which is a pretty scary decision to make! 😬

I've had no more spotting the last few hours, but the last hour got pmt cramps. Which is weird because I NEVER get actual pain until AF has arrived (just mild cramp the day before) regardless or not if I'm spotting. I feel like getting a hot water bottle and taking pain killers wtf

@thislittlebird I get that, I'm managing to just ignore it all at the moment but I'm only approx 5dpo so although I tend to symptom spot a bit I'm mostly ok lol though the bbt chart is somewhat puzzling!

@M4v3r1ck I’m glad to hear that your body is getting back to normal! 🙂

@Kitekat81 Thats such a daunting prospect to decide when to have IVF! So are you thinking at some point this year? Do you have any more tests to do before you go down that route?
I’ll be having everything on the NHS although no idea of wait times for that yet. I still need to have the HyCoSy first. If IVF is the only option then ideally this year or at the very latest next year would be good. And then fingers crossed for us with our low AMH!!🤞🤞🤞

Great news on AF @M4v3r1ck ! No idea what's going on with my cycle, my LH keeps going up and down which is quite confusing, I think I'm still resetting

@Marvellouslymadmum I hate that despite trying not to symptom spot I still do it. But I’ve not really had anything to spot this month thus far.

I usually have a 29 day cycle but sometimes less or more and it’s unusual for me to ovulate on day 14 so my app is predicting AF on Tuesday meaning I would have had a 26 day cycle. Do you all find your luteal phase stays the same? I wonder if the supplements could change it slightly so not sure if I can trust the app/usual LP length.

@Kitekat81 we’re lucky we can go the private route too but we have been spending a bit of the cash this month, would be nice not to have to spend what we’ve saved for possible ivf but might have to. The ivf decisions are so hard because I don’t want to do it really but I want a baby so it’s a case of getting a balance of feeling you’ve tried for some time and getting ivf in before it’s too late. Frustrating, wish i didn’t have this issue like my friends don’t have it.

AF is here and giving me hell. I had many symptoms this time, which I've never had before, so now I know I can't trust my body at all, which is frustrating

I'm going to buy cheap opk now and ubiquinol

And today have a can of Pepsi Max!!

I guess at it least it was a 27 day cycle not 30, not had a 30 since Sept now. 26-29 is better, slightly more regular

@thislittlebird roughly what are the costs with IVF?

If something comes back that we need it, and already had a 16 week + week for the scans etc then I'm guessing it'd be at least another 16 week wait for IVF. Then again they might make us wait 2yrs from trying to book for that.

Or maybe should pay for the scan etc now, any idea on costs for that?

@climbershell sorry for AF :( Wallow for a few days, then get back on it! It's great to have in mind some new things each cycle that you want to try.

@Misty84 yeh the ivf decision is really hard. I want to make sure that we've allowed enough time for it to happen naturally, but also not put off ivf for too long as I know that the older I get the chances of ivf success will get lower, particularly starting with such a low AMH and AFC. I'll be 40 in November, and I kind of have it in my mind that I'd like to have done one cycle of ivf by then (knowing we'd probably need to do several cycles). So maybe looking at starting around September, which would mean we would have tried naturally for 18 months which is a decent amount of time. Yes we've had all the fertility tests and investigations now.

@thislittlebird it's so gutting isn't it that we are contemplating spending thousands of pounds on something which is free to so many people, let alone putting our bodies through the stress of it. I've been a saver all my life though without knowing exactly what I was saving for, so it looks like it may be this. I know I would regret it in 10 years time if I still have those savings sitting there and we hadn't at least tried.

@climbershell My understanding is the nhs ivf wait is quite long, I don’t think it will be an option for me because of that. Not quite sure of exact ivf costs but I was looking at fertility clinic packages last month and they do 2 attempts for something like £8ishk. Maybe £5k per go separately, roughly (others here feel free to correct me if I’m wrong). If you’re 37 and under there are more packages. I’m aiming not to get to that stage 😬 and really hoping clomid or something else will work in the meantime.

Was it the AMH and follicle scan that has the 16 week wait? If so I paid about £300 for those two privately (in London) and another £230 to discuss the results (and my DH’s nhs semen analysis) with a consultant. It was reassuring to learn nothing was wrong with me in that regard.

I have found it useful keeping a detailed log of PMS symptoms (I’ve been using ff even though I’m not temping) because my AF started doing mad symptom stuff like that too. I blame the stress and anxiety around ttc.

@climbershell I’ve given up with symptom spotting because it got my hopes up far too many times. What I’ve learnt is that my body has slightly different symptoms every month and unless I’m a day late with AF there’s no point reading too much into anything! I record my symptoms now which has shown me how variable they are.
So sorry to hear that AF has arrived for you because I know you were super hopeful this month😔 Look after yourself for a few days!!

@Kitekat81 Sounds like you have a really good, sensible attitude and plan for what you want to do. 🙂

Hi, jumping with everyone. TTC #1 I’m 37 but 38 this year. I’ve ordered the Easy@home OPK to use this month and I need to work on my diet. I’ve completely lost it since lockdown 1.

@Misty84 thanks for saying that, I sometimes feel like I'm flailing around desperately not knowing what to do, so it is reassuring to hear you say that 😊

Hi and welcome @Katiekattty! 👋 How long have you been ttc for?

@thislittlebird thank you, good to know rough costs. I'm 35, so I guess we could try naturally for another year, tho I really badly want two children and really before I'm 40..

I'm not 100% what the doc has just referred me for, she said ultrasound and check tubes etc. My OH will chase SA Mon. I guess £300 isn't too bad and I'm in Midlands so maybe cheaper, but then putting up to £500 to discuss results nearly doubles.

@misty84 I log on Ovia (& flow and ff), started logging spotting & AF May, logged cm from Sept's cycle and everything like pelvic pain, boobs, dizzy etc from this cycle. No point logging fatigue as I'm exhausted so much as I sleep terribly and am very active

Least next tww I have this tww to gauge and hopefully not get hopes up as much. I'm not actually that low, I guess my hopes dropped with the BFN on weds

@Katiekattty I just ordered 45 of the easy@home opk, will arrive between cycle day 5-7, guess start around day 9 or 10?

@Sleeeeeepy mine is still like this too, my bbt chart and opk are like a heart beat chart 😂

@thislittlebird I don't think I've ever successfully managed to pinpoint ovulation with certainty! The clearblue gave me a peak this month but my bbt is still up and down like a yo-yo so I've no idea how long my Lp is either I have heard some people say supplements can alter it slightly one way or the other though

@climbershell sorry af arrived, our bodies really are cruel giving us that false hope then snatching it away again! From what I've looked at the prices @thislittlebird said are about right, though it does seem to vary a lot by area and clinic I've also read about some people spending around £40k on it! I believe the nhs waiting lists for actual ivf once you get referred and have tests and consultations etc can be around a year. A scan to check everything privately really varies too, there's a place near me that does them for around £65-£70 I think @Crazydoglady123 has hers done for around £90

Hi @Katiekattty welcome, have you been ttc for very long?

@climbershell so sorry this wasn't your month, i know you felt you were in with a real shot this cycle. Sending lots of positivity xx

It really is frustrating @Kitekat81. I shouldn’t be bitter but I do feel quite bitter when I look around me and everyone else has just managed to conceive without too much issue. It doesn’t feel fair, and that’s before you get to the stage where you’re paying thousands for what they managed to just do.

I was never a great saver but my DH is so I pay all the bills and he saves, it works well but we have some stuff to pay for really. The car needs some cosmetic work (because I keep driving into things), the house needs some decorating done because I’ve had testers in the hallway for years now and I’m sick of them, just bought a new MacBook, stuff like that. All of this can be delayed (except the computer probably) but I want to just get some of it done I think, it’s not helping my feeling of stagnation and treading water. Thinking we’re going to dip into the ivf slash general savings fund and then rebuild it again.

I think our plan will be similar though, maybe give it 18 to 24 months and then bite the ivf bullet. Sigh.

I’ve learned that too @Misty84 . It absolutely does my head in that my body is so unpredictable. I’ve found ff useful, being able to look and say “oh yeah I had food cravings at 11dpo last month and this month” is really helpful. Still can’t believe I have nothing weird this month though after months of period nonsense.

@climbershell I think at 35 you can easily give it another year before worrying, it’s hard if you want two but I just had to tell myself I can’t think about that because I don’t know how one will go yet lolol. The feeling of ageing and time being against us is the worst. I can’t stand it. My friend got pregnant fast at 39 and I doubt it really crossed her mind she was 39.

Welcome to the thread @Katiekattty! I’m 38 in May and ttc number 1, when are you 38? If it helps I think I’ve lost it too, a few of us might have

@Marvellouslymadmum does ff give you an o date?

@Kitekat81 we’ve only started trying last month. I’ve been putting it off because I was bit worried about Covid but that’s not going away anytime soon. 🙄🙄🙄 My OH wanted to put it off until next year when we move house bla bla because it’s so easy to get to pregnant. When I broke down the costs of me ageing out of NHS help and IVF costs he changed his mind really quickly.

@climbershell I’m CD1 so I’m assuming around the same time. Mine should come on Monday, have you downloaded the app?

@Marvellouslymadmum we started trying last month.

@thislittlebird I’m 38 in August. I’m hoping to have two so hopefully it will happen soon.

@thislittlebird it's given me nothing so far! Just a very jagged chart lol

@Katiekattty good luck, hopefully it will happen soon for you!

@Katiekattty an app for opk? No I didn't know there was an app. Thought it was just test 1-2 times a day and when gets darkest you are v close to ovulation?

@climbershell there are loads of apps! I use flo, clue, glow, Femometer &fertility friend some of them take a pic of the ovulation strip for you (glow and Femometer) but I still didn't get anywhere with the strips had to go with the clearblue advanced digital to get more of an idea

@climbershell I’d also like 2, but struggling enough to make 1 doesn’t fill me with confidence haha! Would be amazing if it happened though. I would never ask for a single thing again!

@thislittlebird Couldn’t agree more with how upsetting and unfair it is to see friends get pregnant easily. What’s worse is they have absolutely no comprehension or understanding of what we’re going through.

@climbershell I downloaded Premom it does the photo thing with the OPK strips.

@Misty84 a few weeks ago I had a mild panic about having an only child and then I had to talk myself down like???? What are you doing, you haven’t even had a bfp in your life lmao. Trying to go one week a time over here

And yeah they have no idea. I can’t face seeing these friends in a few months with their new babies, I really can’t.