TTC 35+ Thread 7

[sickofthisyear]

New thread- apologies for the unimaginative title!

@Pamparam you raised a point that I totally agree with and have been discussing it with family and friends who threw a panic over the AstraZeneca vaccine possibly causing blood clots (which was soon rescinded by the EMA and now rejected in a recent US trial, see: www.bbc.com/news/health-56479462 ) I automatically remembered birth control pills and I’ve taken Yasmin in the past for many years for PCOS and it was always a known fact that these carried a real and known risk of thromboembolism.

Thank you @Twelvestars! So reassuring to not always be facing doom and gloom when it comes to fertility post 35.

@Geriatric1234 I agree with Twelvestars that your summary was particularly useful!!😁

@climbershell It took me ages to get any sort of line on a cheapy opk too😂 Was so excited when I finally saw something haha!

I haven’t caught up fully but yeah, I read about that old study being the basis for the claims in a book (one of my pregnancy reading selection over Christmas).

Nonetheless here I am 14 cycles later and not getting any younger

@02Carol I will join you in the 2ww, I had a positive opk on Friday and a temp rise today so must have ov'd on Saturday or Sunday, so 1 or 2 dpo now. We dtd Thurs, Fri & Sat, but both knackered by Sunday so didn't manage that one! 🤞 it will be enough but not that hopeful as we are now 1 year + trying. Totally believe it's down to fate/luck now!

@Geriatric1234 @Twelvestars thank you for posting some positive articles, I look forward to reading them 😊

@Kitekat81 I’ll also join in the tww, me and oh ran out of steam too so didn’t cover every day but it’s just too much sometimes!!! And I agree, I just feel like it’s down to luck now!

@Kitekat81 @02Carol @Misty84 I’ll also join in the tww. I’m 2dpo!

@Geriatric1234 I completely agree! Using outdated data is so unfair, I've read a few articles myself indicating the same kind of things. I've also read a lot of info on how bad for our bodies some of the contraceptives are and that they're likely not helping the fertility issues having been on them for a long time in most cases, they can also have masked issues that we already had and didn't know about.

@Twelvestars I had a good read and agree with that one too! There's far too much pressure and I believe it means we panic as soon as it doesn't happen naturally when rare older, leading us to believe the studies are correct because we aren't conceiving when really it's because we are stressed!

Agree that it's a massively under researched area and we are really lacking in robust, reliable studies. And it's definitely the case that an unhealthy 25 yr old could be less fertile than a fit 40 yr old. It can be very much down to the individual and their factors.
I have read the study that @Geriatric1234 linked and the authors themselves say that because the number of subjects aged over 35 was so small (only 10 out of 340 women) no definite conclusions can be drawn with regard to the effect of age on fertility. Also none of the studies I've read recently comment on live birth rate, just conception.
Sorry if I'm being negative, but I've been on the losing side of these numbers as I've mentioned before so I maybe I need to work on my optimism!
Here's hoping for good luck^ for us all!- my current opinion on the whole thing can be pretty much summed up with the phrase 'crap shoot'^

@sickofthisyear Totally agree no definite conclusions can be drawn from one study, but there was almost no difference between 25-35 either in “truly fertile” couples. The main thing to note is age wasn’t a factor in conception.

Once conception has actually occurred we have lots more studies (the article linked by @Twelvestars details a few of these) that show the whole “fertility goes off a cliff at 35” thing simply isn’t true. So if you can conceive, you have WAY more chance of a live birth than not.

I do get how easy it is to be negative, but it’s up to the individual how they interpret the stats.

I’m mainly focussed on the over 40 data. Guess what the average life span was in the late 1600-1700s when they talk about fertility being minuscule? FORTY! 🤣 So of course there’s limited data of fertility over 40 - they were mainly dead!!! And if they were in their twilight years I doubt they were getting that jiggy.

Fine - I’ll grant you it’s not proof that fertility is a-okay post 40. But there isn’t any study, anywhere that proves fertility is f**ked either. There are A LOT of IVF studies of fertility-challenged women that are also used as “evidence” of a decline in fertility. Hmm...wonder why ivf clinics want you to think that...😆

If your tests say your fertile, I genuinely believe it’s just time. Maybe I’m too optimistic! 🤣

@Geriatric1234 being optimistic is the right way to go with this! Thanks for sharing - was definitely what I needed whilst on cd2 of cycle 14 here 👍 I agree it’s all a matter of time 🙏

@selina37 hope the witch 🧙‍♀️ Is being kinder to you than me- it’s painkillers, hot water bottle, exhaustion and wishing the days away here until the fw!

I’m still doing my ovulation tests. No peak yet, this is the ttc-free test month where I can see what happens without all the stuff I’ve been doing.

Just on folate, vitamin c and d. Debating whether to take b6 again after ovulation. Might save it for when we are actually trying, dunno.

@Misty84 I was so shocked and excited lol. I actually ran down the garden with the bit of paper of tests to show my OH 🤣 made him dtd again tonight, after saying just on every other day a bit longer lol

Has anyone's partner said conceive plus makes them feel a bit numb and therefore hard to climax? Mine is feeling that way the last few times

@climbershell
Mine didn’t mention anything about conceive plus or preseed. I think he was happy with conceive plus because it was so similar to normal lube.

What is conceive plus @climbershell @thislittlebird ??

Sperm friendly lube @Lexber

The regular lubes aren’t great for sperm, although plenty of people still get pregnant using them.

@Geriatric1234 thank you for your fantastic posts!
Let's not forget also that less people have babies at our age simply because they choose to have them earlier.

@Loladoodle AF almost gone here, had a lot less cramps than usual this month (in the run up), hence why I thought the B6 might have helped with that. Instead though, tonight I have almost a migraine feeling 😞 so tired and feel run down.I hope you're not suffering too much. 😔

@thislittlebird

Sperm friendly lube *@Lexber*

The regular lubes aren’t great for sperm, although plenty of people still get pregnant using them.

Ah right, I thought it was but wasn't sure if it aided conception or was just a replacement for regular lube...?

@Lexber it's supposed to aid conception if you don't have much mucus helps the sperm move up, allegedly

Thanks all for the welcome!
I love the positivity stats today. I actually do wonder if the stress of "ttc over 35" is what causes some of the issue. I was stressing about things not working out before we even started...i doubt that would be the case in your 20s. My mum had me at 39 and my sister at 41...she said there was no big deal made of it back then and this is a new phenomenon. Whereas I am watching diet/taking vits/hoping for a miracle!! ;-)
But then, its very hard to turn off the stressing too...want to give it a good shot. Hard to know. I like the comment about it being like roulette...we try to control it, but there is luck involved too (unless there is something actually that can be fixed)!!

Anybody else find that preseed makes things a bit errrm... toooo slippery?! Made it a bit hard for my partner to climax, had to sort him out with my hand and then leap on, but all the preseed dribbled out in the interim 😂

Funnily enough I was thinking I might try preseed next month if this month wasn't successful.

I sometimes use SLYK, but it does say not recommended if TTC, so currently going au natural too, which after my optimal week, is a big hard going excuse the pun

But don't you have to syringe it internally?

I don't log on for a day and a half and you ladies have nearly exhausted this thread. Love it!

I'm just catching up a little, I hope you are all well. Thanks for those articles @Geriatric1234 and @Twelvestars

@twelvestars all good here (I think/hope!) I peed on a CB stick and it said I was 2-3 weeks which is correct. That's reassuring. I've managed to not pee on a stick for a few days and was feeling quite positive about things until today when I was supposed to pick up the form and register the pregnancy. I had a bit of panic and chickened out 🙈 sounds ridiculous I know! The midwives were so hard to get hold of last time when I miscarriaged and I had to phone loads and left messages and no one phoned me back. I had no idea if I'd still be called to my scans or anything. I don't want to inform them until I'm further along to avoid that experience again... But I know that's probably the wrong thing to do so I'm going to pee on another stick in the morning and if the test line is still darker I'll be brave and get the form 🙈

Last time I tested the line was darker than it ever got on my CP so that's very reassuring. I'm sure I'll feel more relaxed once I'm passed the date I had my other miscarriage.

The answer to all of life's questions when ttc.... pee on a stick

@KG1145 haha brilliant last line 🤣

I'm so happy for you and lovely to get the digital reading of 2-3 weeks! Tho I understand why you feel anxious about it, hopefully in another couple of weeks you'll be able to feel a lot more relaxed about it all 🙂

@Farfaraway1 Did you take pictures under the same condition? Lighting and picture quality could affect the readings. You should try to keep the photo-taking environment as consistent as possible. If you use other brand tests, upload the tests in the "others" gallery.