TTC 35+ Thread 7

[sickofthisyear]

New thread- apologies for the unimaginative title!

Ok ladies. I am 1 dpo as of today. I had the worst ovulation pains last night for like a good 4 hours. Anyways I’m feeling good today and no pain. Let’s see if this month any happens!

Good luck @Twelvestars 🤞🏻🤞🏻

@JessWi welcome on board! I know what you mean about ttc feeling like forever. It does!

@lemonade83 welcome and congrats on your covid wedding. We are in exceptional times... I’m also 37 and ttc #1 for 3 months now. Btw I love your handle name! I love lemons and lemonade. I literally squeeze lemons into most of my food. You name it.

@Lexber hahaha when I was a mumsnet lurker (cause wasn’t yet in the groove of ttc) I always felt like I was reading a new language or method of communication that I had to pick up. Sometimes I still find myself stopping at certain terminology. This link should help:
www.mumsnet.com/info/acronyms

@Marvellouslymadmum thanks love! Where are you now in your cycle? When do you expect your appointments for the fertility referrals and SA? And also you mentioned you’re not eligible for IVF, why is that?

@KG1145 any updates? Hope you’re doing well.

@Twelvestars I am currently cd7 so coming up for dtd stage woohoo lol I'm thinking the app for them should come through soon but don't know how far away the actual appointment will be. We are not eligible for two reasons - I'm going to be 42 in a week and the cut of here is 40 but also we both have children from previous relationships (all grumpy stroppy teenagers now) but none together

@Marvellouslymadmum correct me if I’m wrong but I understand from what you’re saying is that you’re not eligible for IVF on the NHS. But if you wanted to go private, you could still undergoe IVF?

Hahaha I know the feeling about being done with AF and excited about dtd 🤣 it’s a joyous, albeit tiring, time. Enjoy it and hope it’s a BFP month for you.

@Twelvestars yes that's right, sorry if I wasn't clear. I believe some ivf clinics in this country have a cut off of about 45 some higher plus other countries it's higher but I feel I probably wouldn't go on passed that anyway 🤷🏼‍♀️

It's like a rollercoaster of emotions each month isn't it?!
Af - ho hum, here we are again, sulking and then excitement at another month!
fw - woohoo dtd here we come, let's try, AGAIN to make a baby! I'm knackered 😂
Ov - omg I hope we've done it this month and we are lucky
Tww - I'm not going to test, I'm not going to test, I'm not going to - ooh google said my twitchy eye may mean I'm pregnant! maybe have been lucky this month let's test early and find out! Bfn oh maybe it's to early, bfn bfn bfn bfn af
Af - 😔 and here we go again!

@WrongendoftheSTIX yeah maybe they aren't sensitive enough for me, I'm even doing with fmu too.

The thing is I have no idea if I've ovulated or not, which is leaving me feeling so up in the air. No real noticeable cm this month to guide me (have been dehydrated some days which doesn't help and I never have loads anyway), no real pain. V v minimal cramps yesterday & tiny bit left side today but not enough for me to think it was ov

I mean I guess spotting yesterday/today, on one wipe, could be ovulation potentially

So now I don't know if we need to try to successfully dtd tonight or not and in 2 days or not. If I hadn't been opk-ing I'd have guessed ov cd13-16 based on past cm and app history

If not successful this month I will try the clear blue definitely, coz this is more stressful than not opking!

@climbershell that's exactly what I found with the strips it was so confusing I felt it was worse than guessing!

@Loladoodle yep here I am on CD1! AF was trying yesterday but I guess it was waiting for you 🤣 First proper day today.

Hello newbies! Welcome! The more the merrier! 🥰

@climbershell if I were you I'd keep going with the opk's and dtd every other day until cd21. My cycles are nearly always 25-28 days, with ov on cd13-16 (12 day luteal phase). However in December for no explicable reason I didn't ov until cd20 and had a random 32 day cycle. Not wanting to add extra stress, but you could also consider temping next cycle? It's useful for confirming that ovulation has happened.

Thank you all 🥰

So this may sound like the stupidest of questions and sure I’m about to make myself sound like a total fool but here goes....if you’re ovulating normally DTD at the right time, what’s the chances of becoming pregnant? Or why has pregnancy not happened if sperm meets egg? I’ve tried to prevent pregnancy for so long because I was under the impression that the chances of becoming pregnant were so high if said above happened?!

@Marvellouslymadmum that’s really interesting, do you mind me asking what other tests they are sending you for? X

@JessWi

Thank you all 🥰

So this may sound like the stupidest of questions and sure I’m about to make myself sound like a total fool but here goes....if you’re ovulating normally DTD at the right time, what’s the chances of becoming pregnant? Or why has pregnancy not happened if sperm meets egg? I’ve tried to prevent pregnancy for so long because I was under the impression that the chances of becoming pregnant were so high if said above happened?!

Hi @JessWi welcome! No such thing as a stupid questions although the answers may not be what we all want to hear. You can Google for the exact stats, but it's just an unavoidable truth that fertility declines with age and miscarriage rates increase. It's age that mainly impacts on egg quality which is one of the key factors in successful conception. So sperm meets egg, all starts going well, but there's then an issue with subsequent development which means implantation fails or potential pregnancy is 'lost'. It's usually down to chromosomal issues on cell division. There's also potential similar problems with sperm, (but less impact with age). Implantation can fail depending on condition of your uterine lining. Not enough fertile cervical mucus means sperm can't get to the egg. Age also increases chance of 'annovulatory' cycles- using OPK only tells you your body is trying to ovulate, they don't confirm that an egg actually appeared. I think monitoring temp does that though but not sure. Honestly, when you read about all the things that have to go 'right' to have a successful pregnancy, it's a miracle it happens for anyone! 🙈

www.acog.org/womens-health/faqs/having-a-baby-after-age-35-how-aging-affects-fertility-and-pregnancy

@JessWi I believe the chances if everything is as it should be and you have no issues and neither does your oh are around 20-22% depending on ages. But yes like @sickofthisyear said there are lots of hurdles to get over even to get to that stage! It's jot great odds, that's why they say most people with no issues should fall of with if 1-2 years

No of course I don't mind, I haven't got my referral through yet so they've not actually booked any tests but from talking to the others and gp it should be amh and afc then potentially others if I have pcos then may be prescribed clomid or The like depending on outcome

[quote Marvellouslymadmum]@Twelvestars yes that's right, sorry if I wasn't clear. I believe some ivf clinics in this country have a cut off of about 45 some higher plus other countries it's higher but I feel I probably wouldn't go on passed that anyway 🤷🏼‍♀️

It's like a rollercoaster of emotions each month isn't it?!
Af - ho hum, here we are again, sulking and then excitement at another month!
fw - woohoo dtd here we come, let's try, AGAIN to make a baby! I'm knackered 😂
Ov - omg I hope we've done it this month and we are lucky
Tww - I'm not going to test, I'm not going to test, I'm not going to - ooh google said my twitchy eye may mean I'm pregnant! maybe have been lucky this month let's test early and find out! Bfn oh maybe it's to early, bfn bfn bfn bfn af
Af - 😔 and here we go again! [/quote]
Hahaha love this round up of emotions! You’re spot on! It’s such a roller coaster of a swathe of emotional ups and downs and lefts and rights.

Anyways honestly anybody would want a BFP the natural way or with a little bit of help without having to go through IVF and all the accompanying hormonal shots and meds. Personally I am open to IVF and grateful that there is such an option (which has changed so many couples’ lives and made them parents) but I am still hoping it happens naturally for us...

Has anyone got pictures of their OPK charts and sticks so I can see what happens as it increases towards ovulation so I can see what look at/for please
I remember seeing somewhere a picture off the app that had the scanned ones with the figures and low or high with them.
Also the charts to go with to give me an idea show it works as it's all so nee to me xx

That’s really interesting thank you. It seems a little unfair that age can cause such a large decline. I’m 35 and like to keep myself in good shape, I’m guessing there are lots of 35+ women who are in much better physical shape than a lot of 20 something ladies!

@Twelvestars yes I'm definitely open to ivf if we need it just hoping we don't lol plus I'll probably feel different if I get to 45 and we still haven't managed out bfp haha

@Lexber I believe there are a few apps that can take pics for you and asses premom Femometer glow to name a few, I couldn't get a good reading on them for me though so not much use sorry.

@JessWi yes I totally agree, there are some interesting articles about the decline in fertility with age and it's not as bad as some people make out but does obviously make a difference, mainly due to egg quality I believe

@JessWi @sickofthisyear I like to go by this article below👇🏻 Yes the odds are lower as we age and a lot of variables and conditions come to play when it comes to conception, but a lot of the stats we see in popular articles online and websites are citing archaic and outdated studies from the 17th and 18 centuries and these have stuck around and continued to be quoted and cited without any attempt at correcting and updating these stats. I was feeling so low and down until I came across the below article and then speaking with my consultant, she uplifted my spirits and gave me more hope than the panic and fear mongering spread by online articles and websites. Of course there is a progressive correlation between infertility and age but infertility is also present in very young women. Sometimes it’s just down to luck. Btw, my sister in law got pregnant by mistake at age 43.

www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2013/07/how-long-can-you-wait-to-have-a-baby/309374/?single_page=true

@Lexber

Thanks @Noodella18 that's great I've started tracking mine but wasn't sure how high the numbers would be going etc so to actually see someone else's helps me loads as I'm so clueless - please still others share as it will be great to see these and start to understand more!
As far as my cycle/apps if this bleed is AF then I'm due to ovulate in a few days... so Altho still bleeding on/off I have started to track to see what is happening. Still early days but looks like a possibility this month still??

@Lexber looks like you might be starting your surge? I'd be tempted to test again just before bed.