TTC 35+ Thread 7

[sickofthisyear]

New thread- apologies for the unimaginative title!

@Loladoodle I’ve been having random 22 day cycles the past few months, which I don’t know if they qualify as random anymore. My cycles used to be 25/28 but started ttc 3 months ago and I suspect the stress and pressure and worry may be causing it. How long are your cycles usually?

@Magnum99 I’m no expert in all this (apart from what @Pamparam said, honorary MD - made me laugh but I can relate haha) but sounds like perhaps it’s a CP? Also I doubt at 9 dpo anything would be visible. 6 weeks the earliest. Goodluck on Wednesday. Fingers crossed you’ll have answers.

@thislittlebird missed you! Now every time I take my magnesium and B6 I remember you 🤣 just read what you wrote about Mother’s Day... I hope you get to have your little family and become a mom. But like you said, you’ve already got it with your husband ❤️ So this image you shared, is it the clear blue fertility monitor? Btw, if I were your place, and it was just about the steroids and antibiotics, I would continue ttc. If you get BFP you can stop them right away.

@climbershell actually I share your exact sentiments about doing whatever it takes to make this happen. I was at the consultant yesterday and we saw my dominant follicle (I will ovulate tomorrow most probably) and all seems well but I have a list of blood tests to be done and hycosy just as preemptive measures. I’m not wasting a moment. Ideally I would love to have 2 babies before 40 so this gives me 3 years to achieve this goal - in an ideal world but it’s okay to dream. IVF is an option I’m definitely open to. I would love to adopt if I had no other options at motherhood but my husband (understandably) isn’t up for it. So that’s out of the question.

@Marvellouslymadmum oh sorry you’re feeling unwell! How did you get the chest infection? I am guessing it’s not covid right cause I remember you mentioning you’ve received your vaccine. I might be completely mistaken. Fingers crossed for your tests. Will be doing all of mine at the start of my next cycle which should be in 11/12 days from now and a hycosy on day 5. But if I get a BFP this month then I won’t need those tests. Fingers crossed for us both. When will you do your tests?

@KG1145 did you end up peeing on the stick? Good luck with your tests tomorrow. Annoying about the extra £150... he could easily write the prescription for you and leave it with the secretary for you to pick up without having to blatantly rip you off with a consultation fee that you don’t need.

@climbershell I also want a baby no matter what. If it doesn’t happen naturally then ivf, egg donor, surrogacy, adoption are all routes I’d go down. Whatever it takes!

@Twelvestars thank you, I'm seriously considering it again now actually, you've all had such lovely comments about it. My partners son came round at the weekend (this is still allowed in lockdown) and had a cough so it will have come from there but yes it's definitely not Covid just good old bronchitis, I've had it so many times! And yes I've had my first Covid jab. I don't know when the next tests will be yet as I'm now waiting for my referral to come through but 🤞🏻 won't be too long, excellent that all yours are on their way

Anybody else can't be bothered DTD when not in the fertile window?
DH had a strop the other night about it but I think he was out of order. I'd gone to bed and was already almost asleep when he came to bed, he then started touching me and when I told him I wasn't interested he sulked and made comments about it not being on the calendar 🙄
FFS it was 1.30am, I was half asleep, had to be up early for school run and then working a 10 hour shift in the day followed by my self employed business at night. No I don't want to miss sleep to have a shag when I'm not even horny plus I'm not fertile. Even before us TTC I didn't have a high sex drive anyway so at least he's getting more sex than he was a few months ago.
Since when has it even been ok to wake your partner up for sex? I didn't wake him up last week when he fell asleep at 8pm when I was ovulating. Aargh men! 😡

why does mumsnet do that for weird link thing? Here’s a clean link in case the one up there takes you nowhere @KG1145
www.amazon.co.uk/Gut-revised-expanded-Giulia-Enders/dp/1911344773?tag=mumsnetforu03-21

Glad MD got better for you @Marvellouslymadmum. Yeah I’m glad CB figures it out, you know? I’m going to do it whether we try or not, want to see how it goes.

Oh, to have second option of GP! I’m glad the second one is helping you more, that sounds like good things to get going on. I’m interested in your steroid experience. Do you know what counts as a high dose? I’m on 6 tablets per day per week, then 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, then stop. Sometimes I do wonder if my dumb auto immune diseases also have an impact on my ability to conceive, who knows. Hopefully your chest isn’t too bad x

On the topic of meeting other halves...mine was at work, not very exciting I’m afraid lol. But we had a mortgage together just over a year later and I simply would never ever have done that with any exes, weird how it happens.

Missed you all too @Twelvestars! I have not been fantastic company the last couple of days. Today I was furious at the inanimate object that is our new laptop

Thank you! I hope we all get our little families, I feel like we should.

The image is a clear blue fertility monitor thingy. Bought one second hand on ebay, i think it does the same thing as the apps some folks here use, you insert the wee sticks into it and it reads them for you.

I’m also in the whatever it takes wagon, I guess. I just fear it all and try not to think too far ahead or I catastrophise. I don’t love the idea of all the drugs etc with ivf and need to do more reading on the mild options I’ve heard about from @Kitekat81. Research is needed on my part. But I’m hoping they might be able to offer me clomid when I go in May.

Is anyone taking anti anxiety meds here will ttc? I have one to start and I’ve been putting it off because I’m worried about what if I want to come off and it’s hard etc. But I’ve been feeling really low and anxious today, was debating starting it.

I think we’re both knackered and the chances are slim we’d initiate much outside of the schedule right now @Magnum99. But waking you up at 1.30am sounds a little late - do you think he’s making a point?

I don’t have a high sex drive either, less so as i get older so it’s the last thing on my to do list usually. Weirdly a symptom of low progesterone too, which I seem to have.

Sorry forgot to finish saying to @Twelvestars that I don’t think I can stop the drugs unfortunately, I think it’s a bit risky to suddenly stop oral steroids which is what it is. I need to get on top of my stupid skin anyway, I’ll have 5 weeks to go from Wednesday with the dose decreasing weekly. I’m fairly sure antibiotics are fine for ttc, not sure about the aforementioned anxiety drug though.

@Magnum99 Yep I really can’t be bothered to dtd when it’s not fertile window either! Once a week is enough for me haha! Luckily OH seems to be more or less on the same page. We’re just so tired from work that going to sleep is far more appealing!
I think you’re quite justified in being annoyed at your DH waking you up at 1:30am!!

@Twelvestars I can definitely vouch for the whole romance building through messages and phone calls!! I remember being so nervous on the first date thinking 'please live up to the dream' as it seemed just too good to be true! 😂

@Magnum99 men are infuriating aren't they! A lot if the time for us it's kind of the other way around as I have a high drive and he suffers with stress and anxiety so often isn't in the mood due to that, I do have a strop sometimes and must confess I did wake him up for it in the fw 🙊 but i wouldn't do that if he had to get up in the morning and or had a long day or anything and most of the time I'm very understanding.

@thislittlebird I was so pleased when I actually got a helpful gp! As far as the steroids if they're 5mg each that's standard and 6 is the standard adult dose, I've been given 7 before and usually have to take them for 7-14 days whereas a lower dose would be a 3 or 5 day course, I'll also get out on a high dose of antibiotics as sometimes it can take a few doses of these and steroids to get rid of it all. So sounds like you're on a pretty standard dose and the fact they're dropping them down but keeping you on them for a while is to keep them in your system with a slow reduction so they keep on working, so should really help. Thank you I'm hoping I've caught it quick! X

I use the clearblue advanced digital connected which is very similar to the monitor, and I think I'm in the almost whatever it takes group as we would deffo go to ivf maybe even egg donor or surrogacy but I don't think we would adopt, not that I wouldn't love to, I've always thought it would be an amazing thing to do I'm just not sure it would bring our children closer and bond our families like we hope a little one would but you never know! I wouldn't rule it out that's for sure.
My oh takes anti anxiety meds if he doesn't take them the anxiety can get worse but he's no addicted to them in any way shape or form if that helps, and you absolutely can just stop the steroids if you needed to.

@selina37 that was definitely the exciting part about online dating, I found for all the first people I met I had different expectations in my head and was disappointed but learned to be more open minded after a while lol

@Marvellouslymadmum bronchitis is annoying isn’t it? But why the steroids? Is it that severe? I remember I had a bad case of bronchitis Jan 2020 (I still suspect it’s covid cause I had to go to ER and was given oxygen and we’d been travelling through several international cities and airports for Christmas holidays) and they gave me just antibiotics. But it took 2 weeks for my chest to completely clear itself. Hope you feel better soon ❤️

@thislittlebird ah right! I hope you enjoy your new monitor then. As for anxiety meds... I have suffered from anxiety all my life. It comes and goes in waves. This period I’ve been feeling anxious. So sometimes I take a very small dose of Xanax (0.25 mg) to relax me before bed. But I am very careful with how often I use it so it’s just when I strictly feel like my anxiety is through the roof. But in 2011 I was put on Wellbutrin and then Citalopram in 2012 and getting off them was very easy. In my case no withdrawal symptoms. But they helped me a lot and although it’s been ages since I took them, they sorted me out for good. If you feel anxious and stressed, would you consider taking the lowest dose? Our mental health comes first. As for steroids and its impact on ttc, I am none the wiser in this department.

@selina37 right! The whole buildup to meeting for the first time and even the buildup to follow up dates especially when there’s been a long wait in between and online chats in tandem. Sorry if I missed your story on here but this thread moves soooooo fast, but did you meet your partner online?

@Twelvestars I have severe brittle asthma which means it can go from being fine to ending up in the hospital within 10 minutes. I've had bronchitis so many times and it easily turns to bronchial pneumonia if not caught quick enough with the treatment and often if they just give me the antibiotics I'll need a second or third course then they'll eventually end up giving me the steroids too to kick it, a normal chest infection always turns to bronchitis and lasts a minimum of 6 weeks up to about 12 weeks if not caught quick enough so it's kind of a preemptive strike, my son asp has the same issues and has done since he was just 7 months old, was in and out of hospital I don't know how many times and also had to have the same, I even have a rescue pack of steroids at home for him that I have to give him as soon as he gets a cough before even going to the docs

@Marvellouslymadmum wow! That’s some serious stuff there! Sorry you and your son have to go through this but at least now you know it when it comes on and you catch it early with the necessary treatments before it turns into anything more sinister. We all need to avoid hospitals as much as possible in this new covid world we’re living in!

@thislittlebird what have they prescribed for the anxiety? I've been on sertraline 50mg for about 3 years now and it's been life changing. I continued taking them throughout my pregnancy and my girl is perfect, very bright and has hit all of her milestones. My gp said that the risks posed from the drug were far lower than the risks of uncontrolled cortisol from my severe anxiety. I think sertraline is the ssri of choice for pregnancy and also breastfeeding (if that's your intention.)

@Marvellouslymadmum as well as my low progesterone I have always suffered with anxiety and stress, I definitely think it impacts sex drive like for your DH. Maybe not for everyone, but I'm sure it has an effect on me.

Yeah I think they're the 5mg prednisolone tablets, and also on Azithromycin, and then onto Lymecycline. I'm less worried about those as I feel like people must conceive on antibiotics all the time.

I totally get not considering adoption when you have kids already. I am unsure about it myself, I'm trying not to think too far ahead and panic.

@Twelvestars it's month 3 of the monitor, so still pretty new! That info is really helpful, thanks. I've been prescribed Citalopram too. I read stuff from people saying there's a better one for ttc and started getting anxious about taking it or trying to come off of it. It's 10mg, I've been anxious all my life but never been prescribed anything for it until now. What dose did you have? The dermatologist seemed to think it would help me with the skin and ttc.

After initially thinking I wouldn't ttc this month now I'm thinking I might. Got a few days to decide yet, but the idea of missing a month is bugging me lol. I might try to book a hycosy for my next cycle so that it's done before my NHS referral appointment.

@Twelvestars yes it's a bit of a nightmare but we are obviously used to it now and for the most part under control which is good.

My partner was changed over to citalopram from something else a few years ago and nd it didn't help but has been on setraline for a few months now and finding that a lot better so far

@Noodella18 citalopram! Your one is the one I've heard is "better" for ttc but I don't know how true that is if I'm honest, I just saw it while googling around and now having read your full message I see you're saying the same thing lol. The thing is, I'm pretty clueless about anti-anxiety meds, I don't know if I can switch, stop, start, change and so on. Maybe I can take the citalopram and then ask my dermatologist about prescribing the other one when I see her next.

@Marvellouslymadmum I've never heard of brittle asthma until now, and I have asthma. It sounds unusual and frustrating.

@thislittlebird I would do that, you can change over from one to another ok.
Yes it's very frustrating, I've had it since I was 2 wasn't even diagnosed as asthma until I was 6 then when my son got ill at 7 months he was put under and consultant paediatrician who diagnosed him with severe brittle asthma as he was so bad and I then asked if that's what I had and after checking up on my notes it is! It was really scary with him

@Twelvestars prior to my 5yo ds being born I always had 23 day cycles my whole life (conceived with short cycles 3 times- 1 of which was a mmc). But since ds and probably from taking b6 50mg I have had 25-28 day cycles but one random cycle last month was 22 days. Have you tried b6? I’ve taken it for years and it’s so good for my pms, energy, pre af spotting as well as slightly lengthening LP/cycles. @selina37 yes I am still banging on about b6! Haha!!

@marvellouslymadmum hope you fell better soon!

No didn't get tested for progesterone at all. I would have thought given all the blood tests I had done that would have been a basic one tbh. I also spoke to a Tommys midwife today, who was lovely by the way. I phoned not really expecting anyone to pick up, when she did I surprised myself by bursting into tears and sobbing to her down the phone. She talked me through the progesterone studies and also the gluten. She was so knowledgable! Anyway she said I could have a progesterone test now but it probably wouldn't be that helpful at this stage.

If anyone has any concerns about CP and MC I'd definitely recommend Tommy's. You can ring a midwife direct on a free phone number

[quote Loladoodle]@KG1145 did you do a digi yet? Maybe that would help now that af is due and levels should be high enough for a digi now? Or can you ask Gp to do blood test for levels so that you can start taking progesterone?[/quote]
I haven't done any tests today. I've got one frer one left so will test with that I'm the morning. I've ordered a CB digital today and 30 (🙊) cheapies from amazon... They were only 10p more so why not! 😬 Not sure I'll be able to hold my fmu in until the amazon order arrives although I'm tempted to try 😂

[quote thislittlebird]@KG1145 This is the book:
www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B00VGJMAHA/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_d_asin_title_o02?psc=1&tag=mumsnetforu03-21&ie=UTF8

So far it's really interesting and really highlights how much our gut does, how much it's connected and how influential it is but also how overlooked it is in every way really. Really interesting stuff.

Love the story on how you met @Marvellouslymadmum

Sorry to hear about your likely CP @Fredsmama[/quote]
Thanks for the link. It looks really interesting. I had sepsis a few years ago and it really knocked my immune system for a while after. I've heard that a huge part of your immune system is controlled by the gut, fascinating stuff really.

@KG1145 good luck for the digi 🍀 praying this all works out for you 🙏

@KG1145 thank you! That's great to know about the Tommy's midwife! It's very odd that they didn't test progesterone it's one of the first ones they did for me.
🤞🏻 for darker lines on the next tests!