TTC 35+ Thread 7

[sickofthisyear]

New thread- apologies for the unimaginative title!

Hi @Twelvestars 👋🏻
I’m 36 (37 in a few months) and have been TTC #1 for 20 cycles. Yes have had most of tests done now, just HyCoSy left I think!

I’m really sorry to hear about your regret that you didn’t start trying sooner, that must be so tough 😔 but really you can’t beat yourself up about it forever! What’s done is done, just look forward now as much as possible 🙂 I hope it doesn’t take too long for you🙏
I didn’t meet my OH until I was 34 (after 8 years single and the godawful dating scene) so I couldn’t have started earlier even if I’d wanted to! Was just so delighted and grateful to have found him, thought I’d done the hard part, but no TTC is an absolute mission too!!🤦‍♀️

@Geriatric1234 I've found no more answers than you I'm afraid, I've googled it many times and always find different answers so I just think it's anywhere between 6-af sorry I'm no help

@Misty84 hey you! At the end of day, as @Loladoodle previously remarked, it comes down to accepting what the universe has in store for us and what matters is that we have been able to find love with a partner. So that puts it all in perspective. Her comment did help a bit but I still live with regret and that’s on me to deal with. I met my hubby at 32 and got married within 7 months (whirlwind romance) and we just enjoyed life and kept putting ttc off. Meanwhile I always visited doctors for regular ultrasounds and tests and all seemed well so that also encouraged me to delay further. It was only until the pandemic and us staying at home for so long and me turning 37 that it hit me that I have a small window left for us to have babies. It’s hard... anyways on Monday I’ll have more answers when I see my consultant and will share with you guys.

Back to my initial point, yes it’s beautiful that you found him and he found you and that’s what matters. Love and partnership is so hard to come along and so if it comes our way, that in and on its own is a true blessing. I hope your hycosy gives you answers (you said in a few months). But if you don’t mind me asking, were you previous tests all good? And is that why the final investigation to be done is hycosy? And also have you not considered or been offered clomid or hcg or gonadotropins (like follistim) or progesterone?

This thread moves so fast! I can't keep up!!

@climbershell just to say though, I completely get how you feel. It's a constant merry go round of hope then disappointment. Mainly disappointment. But we've learnt to just try and enjoy the life we have. And hoping the less-stressed approach could be just what's needed.

@Loladoodle what effect on pre AF cramps have you found B6 has? 🤔

@Noodella18 I give a week's notice or so of the FW! Then I figure it's his duty too to keep up and take responsibility for trying with me - it takes two after all!

@twelvestars I just use the browsers on my phone. It's annoying there's no option to edit a post. Often glitchy tagging in a person too, but find it ok enough

@Geriatric1234 implantation can vary cd6 to pretty much AF I believe, but I think even as early as cd8 is v uncommon

@Misty84 I met my partner just before I turned 33, I wanted to start trying a year later but he said too soon. I'm on the opinion of you can never for certain know a relationship is going to work forever, people split up after 5 years, 10 yrs, longer so no point waiting. And regardless I want a baby! Eventually after repeatedly saying my concerns with aging eggs etc and we need to start trying soon otherwise I needed to leave and try find someone else to start a family with, couldn't wait much longer, we started trying

Yeah I’m 39 now (partner is 33) and we’ve been together 4 years, living together for 2. I def was at the stage of wanting to try sooner and it took about a year for him to get there I now wish we’d tried earlier but we genuinely weren’t both in that place so I guess I just have to trust that it will happen some way or another 🤞🤞

@Twelvestars and @climbershell
Yes it’s so important and wonderful to meet someone, I have a few friends who are still single and they want a family, so they are in a much worse position than me because at least I have someone to try with!
We started trying after 6 months together, so a different kind of whirlwind!!, but given my age we didn’t see any point waiting longer. As you said climbershell you never know when a relationship might end anyway. We never would have started that early if I was younger but I’m very glad we did now.
Twelvestars good that you’ve done scans etc throughout that time when you were waiting so you know you’re generally ok.
I haven’t been told to take anything yet but have a consultation on 25th so I’m going to be bombarding with questions!! Good luck for Monday xx

Totally agree with the above. Sometimes in all this we focus so much on what we don't have (a baby!) but forget what we do have. Three years ago I was 36, single and having counselling because I thought I'd missed my chance to meet someone and have a family. I was also having lots of problems with my skin (@thislittlebird will understand this) and I thought I was unloveable Then at 37 I met my partner and just clicked straight away, within a month of our first date we were living together, and the rest is history! I would so love for us to have a family together, and I know he will be a wonderful father, so I really want to have tried everything we can for this. But if it doesn't work out, and we don't get our family, I know we'll be just fine as we have each other 😊

My partner just asked if I want to go on a cycle. No!! Not in the lead up to fertile week, I told him 😅

Too much to catch up on but will say that I have shared the frustration with lack of performance - we missed the window last month because he wasn't in the mood and kept saying 'tomorrow'. I FINALLY got my static smily this morning (CD18) so I have told him to prepare tonight, we last did it on Monday or Tuesday (I forget?!) so not much chance if he can't manage it tonight. Sigh.

I didn't meet my OH until I was 33ish and we moved in together after a few months, but he wanted to wait many more years before agreeing to start trying. Even then I think he wishes he had shacked up with a younger woman as he'd happily have waited a good few years more. 🙄

Hope everyone is having a nice weekend x

@climbershell tell him you will go for a ride 🤣 not on a bike 🙊

Appreciate this isn't realistic for everyone, but my DH tells me he much prefers morning/daytime sex- so if we are child free (eg school) and both home together with a bit of spare time then I'll sometimes suggest it then? Just a thought. It's not my preference but achieves the same outcome! (Worked for both my BFPs 😁)

[quote Loladoodle]@climbershell tell him you will go for a ride 🤣 not on a bike 🙊[/quote]
😂😂👍

@Loladoodle haha 😂 I'd love to go for a cycle tbh, I'm so bloody bored sitting around. Need a rest coz busy week at work so not walking today. Going stir crazy, wish could just go for a climb 🤦‍♀️

Awww @Kitekat81 that’s such a lovely story. We really are so blessed to have our wonderful men by our sides! 🥰

Hahaha I def agree with @sickofthisyear regarding the bike @climbershell!

Thanks for all the replies, it's good to hear I'm not the only one who has encountered reluctance from their partner. It's hard hearing all these women saying how happy their partners are about all the sex whilst you're trying to force your own partner to get jiggy. But anyway, we had a chat this morning and I said that if he wants a baby then I'd like him to play an active role in making that happen rather than me having to proposition him every time. He called me up after my toddler went for her nap so I'm currently lying with my hips propped up 😂👍

@climbershell heh, is he is a big cyclist? My partner is a fully paid up member of the lycra brigade and I've similarly had to work his bike rides into the planning.

@sickofthisyear funnily enough men's sperm can be better quality in the morning rather than the evening because it has a good long stretch to develop while he's asleep and relaxed, rather than awake and dealing with the stresses of everyday life.

@sickofthisyear i much prefer daytime/morning also, as I get soooo tired at night 👵 💤 but I do make the effort in the evenings when it’s the fw! OH is happy to oblige any time of day or night so I guess that’s something to be grateful for.

@Misty84 I also agree! Having come out of an unhappy marriage that ended very badly- I am super happy to be in a fun and loving relationship now- a baby would be the icing on the cake 🙏

@climbershell what a great hobby climbing is! Very impressive 😎 I try to walk or run most days.... keeps me sane (ish) 🤪

@Noodella18 good work 👏 keep those legs up 🦵🤣

@Noodlella18
🤣🤣👍👍👍👍 Love this

@Noodella18 great thank you sorted things out and he's taking a more 'active' role haha my oh surprises me sometimes with how much he pays no attention to what we need to do then other times he will say something that makes me think oh you do actually listen to me and want this as much as I do 😂

@Loladoodle I'm with you in the morning/daytime activities sometimes at night it ends up just a quickie lol I'm the same my ex hub was a nightmare, horrible marriage so I'm very happy to be with the man I am now, a baby would just be the perfect thing to tie us all together

@Noodella18 I got him into mountains biking actually 😁 he doesn't ride that often, actually v little this year, but that's mostly because he goes with me and I've not done much due to injury and we like proper mountain bike trails and can't really get to any easily with lock down

@loladoodle I started about 6 yrs ago, it's a massive passion of mine, most my hols are climbing ones and have climbed all over the world. Again got my partner into it too 🧗‍♂️hope to climb until just before I give birth like many I know have 🙃

Off to stock up on seafood, fish, broccoli, leafy greens for fertile time.

@climbershell in ref to your last post about certain foods at fertile time, do specific things help? I feel so new to this and clueless 

That's great @Noodella18 🤟🏼

I feel like a stuck record saying this but still bleeding on day 4 post coil removal so hoping it could be AF early as it was due around 19th (next Friday) anyway.. I won't be pleased if I stop bleeding then start again then!! I've had cramps and other aches signs and fresh but not too heavy (Altho I never was- I think it's been so long since I had a proper AF after 9 years plus with the coil) I have received my prenatal vitamins in today's post and my OPK sticks too so will swap my current vitamins (multi, vid d, folic acid, vit c) for those tomorrow and maybe start testing next week on Friday of AF doesn't appear as this will be day 11 to try and establish where I'm at and when/if I ovulated this month... or would you recommend starting earlier?
Also started to reduce my caffeine which is a biggy for me, down to just one cup a day and decaf for all others. Time to get serious lol

Any advice on vitamins, foods, testing etc would be greatly appreciated! Xx

@climbershell I know right! So annoying! Btw about cycling, is it because of not overheating the body? I am so confused regarding the info I read online about not exercising whilst in the fertile week cause it might negatively affect the ovaries or something of the sort. Sorry if my question seems silly.

@LT103 I hope it does happen for you guys. Actually I keep checking for BFPs here because it ultimately gives ME hope! And we all deserve it.

@sickofthisyear speaking of mornings, I just miss those. We rarely dtd in the mornings. I personally like the variety but DH always prefers evenings.

@Kitekat81 beautiful story... it’s just strange how this universe works, truly in mysterious ways. And love just happens when we least expect it.

@Lexber can’t help with the coil thing at all cause I have no experience with it. But as for caffeine, I am trying to limit my intake as well but I’m finding it very difficult. Congrats for receiving your prenatal vitamins. As for testing, since you don’t have an idea how long your cycle is after 9 years with the coil, maybe start testing CD8?

I have been taking these vitamins daily:
Ovacure (myo-inositol and d-chiro-inositol)
Folliq4 (folate/DHA/EPA/choline bitartrate/B12)
CoQ10
Selenium
Zinc
Vitamin C
Recently added magnesium and B6
Vitamin D (10,000 IU once per week but might jump it to twice a week)
Vitamin K2 occasionally