TTC 35+ Thread 7

[sickofthisyear]

New thread- apologies for the unimaginative title!

If you don’t have an intolerance I don’t know why they’d push on that? @KG1145

If banana muffins don’t make you feel bad then I would eat the muffins and just eat gluten in moderation. I’m reading a good book on the gut right now, everything in moderation (roughly anyway) remains solid advice it seems, for most people.

@LT103 welcome back!

Hi @LT103 It’s good to take a break now and then, I have for past 2 weeks and felt a bit like a normal person again haha!
Hopefully your wait won’t be as long as mine has been!! It will be good for you to know if everything is as it should be or if there’s any issues. I’ve had everything done now just the HyCoSy left but that’s several months away. On Cycle 20, still not a mum! ☹️ But still hopeful and won’t give up!

@KG1145 I agree with what @thislittlebird has said, seems drastic if you don’t have an intolerance.
And for goodness sake, aren’t we changing and trying enough already?! None of my mum friends cut out gluten!🙄

Hi @LT103, welcome back! How were your initial blood tests and SA, did you get any useful information from those?

@Marvellouslymadmum my progesterone was 57 and the NHS fertility doctor I saw didn't highlight that as a problem - she just said it showed a clear ovulation.

Is anyone else gone from the totally insanely anxious tww phase, a day or 2 of disappointment & impatient phase. Then the life is normal not over thinking waiting phase, now on excited! finally just about fertile phase

Not even in the mood, but so happy it's dtd every other day time and in a few days every day time, to get those sperm up me 🤣

That’s the thing @Misty84, I’m not keen to change too much because I know it’ll be harder still and why did none of my friends have to change anything ever.

Although this dermatologist has asked my GP to arrange allergy tests for me and I suspect I’ll come back with everything under the sun listed which i wasn’t even aware of before 😂. Hopefully not, let’s see. Either way, cutting things out completely is very hard.

I don’t really want to have a hycosy @Misty84 but I’m tempted to book one while I’m on my enforced break because of the medication. Thinking that by the time I get to the appointment in May I might be nearer to being able to have clomid etc.

@climbershell I used to be excited coming up to fertile days, but if I'm honest every time we dtd now I feel like having a cry afterwards because I think it's all futile Having a bad month tbh. I feel like the sadness I always get during pmt just hasn't left me. It doesn't make it easier that I think we've missed my fertile window this time - We dtd yesterday morning, got my static smiley this morning but won't be able to dtd until tomorrow night. This is only our 5th month of TTC #1 but I seem to be piling the pressure on and being very hard on myself.

I need a kick up the arse, thread friends! It's so nice to read about success stories on here, anyone else got some glimmers of hope to share!?

@Marvellouslymadmum Similar to what @Kitekat81 has said, my progesterone was 56 and the doctor was happy with that!

@thislittlebird I’m not looking forward to having the HyCoSy but they won’t refer me for ivf until I’ve had that done so it’s a necessary evil. (Hoping to get pregnant naturally before all that of course!). Also a friend of mine found she had one tube blocked which was basically cutting her chances of conceiving by 50% (she’s now a mum after they cleared the blockage). So it’s worth finding out about...

@climbershell Yes they are exactly the phases I go through too! So maybe it’s normal 🤪

@Loladoodle @Kitekat81 @thislittlebird @Misty84 hi!
Thinks ok here. Bloods and SA we’re all fine. Nothing worrying on them. Just waiting on referral. Might do certain parts private like hycosy to speed things up a bit. This is us almost at a year ttc now so still hoping we won’t need referral!!!

@thislittlebird no she just said it was all fine and that was that! No more tests, but When I speak to the different doc on Monday I'll bring up my concerns and the pcos and what we do now as it's been so long

@KG1145 I would tend to agree with @thislittlebird gluten free is difficult but cutting right down not so bad

Hi @LT103 glad things are going in the right direction for you

@Kitekat81 yes I'm not sure the progesterone alone is an issue more the fact that the oestrogen is way higher and they should be around equal

@climbershell I used to every month 😂😂 not so much anymore it's been too long 😑

@TTCat39 sorry you're feeling low, I don't think there's much hope for me here this month I'm afraid but I'm positive about the changes we've made and trying to get some more investigations

@TTCat39 sorry you're feeling low. Tho it may make no difference you have to remind yourself us humans just aren't that fertile and often takes 12 months, even for couples with no fertility issue

I don't know much about CB but doesn't that mean you'll prob ovulate tomorrow? In which case dtd yesterday and tomorrow won't be perfect timing but should still be fairly good timing?

So, we dtd earlier and my OH said it was hard work and he only came a 'little bit'... Cd8 so not the end of the world. Didn't know it was possible for guys to only ejaculate 'a little bit'... Surely they do or they don't? 🤔

@KG1145 have you noticed any bad effects from gluten? If not, I'd take that advice with a pinch of salt. In my experience of naturopaths (and my mum was a homeopath, so I have lots of experience!) they often tend to be quite extreme. My mum was banging on about how I shouldn't heat my toddler's food in the microwave on the advice of her acupuncturist 🙄 that was a hard no from me. And my osteopath told me that I had tense muscles in my pelvis which would cause issues with conception (I conceived in cycle 2 last time, so yeah, NO).

Personally I think if there are no obvious issues then everything in moderation, eat the muffins, just don't have bread three meals a day plus snacks!

Feeling really pissed off with my partner. I was stressed out that we couldn't have sex when he was poorly but now he's better he's feeling the pressure to have sex at the right time and so has dug his heels in and as a result we missed both peak days. Drives me absolutely nuts. And i feel so humiliated basically having to argue for why we should have sex. He wants a baby more than me so it's incredibly frustrating that he can't get past this. And the only way to deal with it is to just let the topic drop so he doesn't feel the pressure but then I feel stressed about it on my own and then so angry when we miss the occasion.

Sorry for the vent, I feel a bit embarrassed sharing but I can't talk to anybody about it in real life and wondered if anybody had any advice?

@climbershell

Is anyone else gone from the totally insanely anxious tww phase, a day or 2 of disappointment & impatient phase. Then the life is normal not over thinking waiting phase, now on excited! finally just about fertile phase

Not even in the mood, but so happy it's dtd every other day time and in a few days every day time, to get those sperm up me 🤣

This is pretty much a description of me for the past 3 months, but you missed the Google obsessed phase, 'is this implantation bleeding and Is that nipple twinge early pregnancy, and am I dizzy because I stood up too fast or pregnant' 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️

@Loladoodle haha it’s okay! I’m 37 but I am still sometimes making the mistake of saying 35/36!

@thislittlebird I am going to see a consultant on Monday and cover all grounds. Depends on that talk we have... I am open to trying all sorts of scientifically based approaches (including acupuncture) but at the same time I want to limit exposure during the covid pandemic. Shall see.

@Noodella18 it’s hard isn’t it? I purposefully don’t tell my oh anything about what stage I’m at/when I ovulate cos I don’t want it to just get to stage having sex just for ttc. We generally have sex all the way through not just fw and it works most times but there are times like this month there where I got a peak on opk and we hadn’t managed. I eventually had to say we had a day left to try this month 🤦🏻‍♀️ I hate doing that as it just makes it into a Chore

@Noodlella18

I think everyone on here can relate to what you said, I think everyone is feeling some form or element of pressure, then knowing we have a 'golden window of opportunity' each month.

Missing that time for what ever reason is really disheartening, as it feels like a month wasted, but I guess if you have had sex that cycle and until you miss your period you can't be sure.

I think the whole fertile cycle is beyond some mens wanting to understand, I was trying to talk to my fella about it so he could understand, he just looked blankly through me, half way through a sentence he cut me off and said " just tell me when and jump me".

@climbershell I believe it is possible but would say it's more likely if you've dtd a lot recently

@Noodella18 I get like this with my oh too if he decides he doesn't want to around fw I get in a strop, he gets anxiety and stress so I tend not to tell him when fw is but just do things that get him in the mood and come on to him without telling him why, it doesn't always work but we hit a few days at least in the fw most of the time

@02Carol 😂 loving the google stage! The things I've googled to find out if it = pregnant 🤦🏼‍♀️ and I get cross when it says no lol

@KG1145 I wanted to add that I agree with @thislittlebird that a lifestyle done in moderation is best. I mean such drastic changes and having to cut out so much (like suddenly going gluten free when it isn’t called for). I feel it would have an counterproductive effect like causing more stress.

@Misty84 yes don’t give up. Sorry for my questions (as I’m relatively new to this thread and have been trying to keep up but there’s many of us here), have you had all tests done? Bloodwork? AFC? Ultrasound?

@TTCat39 I feel the same and I know what I’m doing to myself is not good and only adds pressure but I can’t help it. Unable to sleep properly and deeply due to my sadness and feelings of regret. I go into tears at random times of the day when I think of how I could’ve started ttc earlier. I’m in my 3rd month ttc #1. I feel I have a host of issues (starting with a 22 day short cycle) and can’t wait for Monday when I see my consultant. So no you’re not alone in this.

@climbershell an array of emotions and feelings that I go through in one month! Sometimes in just one day!!!

@Noodella18 you know, the best thing at this point is to drop it because it might seem that taking it through might help but sometimes it is better to walk away and let time do its magic. Perhaps he’s also having a bad day or two emotionally. I think he’ll come around soon and if he doesn’t, then maybe you can bring it up again.

I give mine the heads up we're heading to a shagathon as I call it lol. That way he can mentally prepare knowing sex will be majorly ramped up

He knows there will be Monday sex and then Tuesday he'll be made aware there will be weds-sat daily dtd

Sorry just realized I am guilty of typos and accidental spelling mistakes but I do this on the phone browser and it’s not too user friendly. Do you ladies use the app? What do you think of it? I wanted to download it the other days but then got scared about all the privacy issues and tracking permissions the app was requesting. I don’t know. I guess that’s crazy cause I have all the other social media apps on my phone and I’m sure they track everything 😂

Totally new Q: anyone had a definitive timeline from a specialist about the number of days between fertilization and implantation? When i google its 4-6 on one site, 7-14 on another, 6-12 on another... this isn’t urgent, I’m just curious!

@climbershell I didn’t know that was a thing with guys either?!?

@Noodella18 Twice I’ve slept on the sofa because I’ve become so furious and upset that my OH has not dtd when we needed to...so I can completely empathise with your frustration. It sucks that it becomes a chore because we’re so hell bent on timing it right. Like @LT103 I no longer tell my OH what stage we’re at and that has helped things, I’m sure he can work it out because the sex suddenly increases but I don’t lay out the days for him and say we HAVE to do it then. I just make sure I’m doing “sex maintenance” 😂 at other times in the month so that he doesn’t feel completely used during the fertile window! It’s definitely reduced the stress for him. Of course everyone is different and I’m sure for some couple it works to be open about the peak days. It’s completely dependent on your personalities and what works best for you both.