Pregnant after miscarriage

[unicornpower]

Hi all!

I had a miscarriage in June 2020, it was early and I passed it fully at about 5 weeks, ive just found out im pregnant again which is obviously amazing but honestly im terrified, I feel so anxious that the same thing will happen again and I just need a handhold really. I know there's every chance it will be fine this time but im just so worried that I'll miscarry again and have to dust myself off and keep going 😑 any tips to stay relaxed? We are going to have a private scan all being well if things look okay in a few weeks but just until then I need to stay sane 💙

Sorry to hear about your miscarriage. I also miscarried between 5 and 6 weeks in April 2020 so I can imagine how you will be feeling. I am not pregnant again yet but I’m already terrified of this worry for next time.

Congratulations on your pregnancy 😊

I don’t really have any advice just to say that it’s natural to feel that way after what you’ve been through. Rest and try to relax as much as possible until you can get your early scan.

@Kinder19 thank you so much, im so sorry for your loss too, its just awful that so many of us have to go through it. Sending lots of love to you!

Yeah selfishly lockdown has come at a good time so I can stay at home and not have to tell my boss or anyone yet, however on the flip side I miscarried during lockdown last year so that was horrible to go through too! Ita all just such mixed emotions and im analysing every twinge at the moment! Thank you for responding though

OP. With every day that passes the pregnancy's chances get better and better, so just take it a day at a time. Get a scan as soon as you can, and really take care of yourself in the meantime.

@FoggyDay58 thank you so much for responding, yeah I will definitely try my best! I knew it would be an anxious time but now its here I just need to try and stay as positive as possible

@unicornpower sending you lots of hugs, I also had an early miscarriage at 5/6 weeks when trying to conceive our first in 2019, the next pregnancy was fine and is now destroying the living room 🙈
I was the same so worried I didn't tell my husband til I was nearly 6 weeks and peed on a stick at least once a day for a few weeks 🙈 we had a scan at about 7 weeks and it massively put my mind at rest there was a tiny 7mm baby and a heartbeat. Hopefully after your scan you can relax and enjoy it a bit more but I completely understand what you mean and always here if you needed a chat!

@firsttimemummy321

Thank you so much, Its so hard isn't it as the excitement is taken away from you when you think about your past experience. I sort of blurted it out to my husband and just sat there trembling with shock i think! I am going to go and get some more tests after work today, last time i peed on a stick every day (sometime twice) so i'm really trying to not overthink it at the moment and remember that its already different to last time as my initial test was a strong line and i haven't had cramping or anything like before.

My husband has agreed that if things progress we can have private scans every couple of weeks until 12 weeks to try and stop anxiety. Phewww and breathe Thank you for responding and it's so lovely to hear you got your rainbow baby xxxx

Congratulations @unicornpower! I had a mmc in April 2019, and fell pregnant again in December 2019. I'm not going to lie, I'm not sure the anxiety completely goes but when you start to feel movements regularly you begin to relax more.

Remember, the odds are in your favour for a healthy, successful pregnancy and I say that as I'm currently squashed under my 17 week old rainbow dd.

@chanel05 Thank you for responding! my friend sent me a link to a miscarriage reassurer and it tells you the risk of not miscarrying due to how many weeks pregnant you are and i have found that helpful today! I'm fully prepared to be a bundle of nerves for a while but i'm trying to do things to distract myself at the moment.

Congratulations on your rainbow! Its truly lovely to hear :)

@unicornpower I'm in a similar situation too. Currently pregnant after 3 mcs. We are now currently further on than we have ever been but I'm still constantly worrying things may go wrong. I had a scan on NYE which showed everything was looking good, and I've got another booked for 20th, but I couldn't wait that long so I booked a private scan a couple of days ago, I'm so glad I did. It's the only thing that can reassure you, but be careful not to book it too early. They wanted to scan me just over 6 weeks, but I refused because I knew that was right on the cusp of 'will they/won't they' see a heartbeat. I managed to hold out until 7+4, despite having a bleed (thankfully had Christmas in between to distract me!) and I was glad I did.

Are you sure taking tests is a good idea? If it will put your mind at rest then by all means do it, but there are so many factors that can affect the darkness of the line, which may just make you worry more. If you're really worrying before you can have a scan could you ask your gp for an HCG blood test? This is what I did to keep me going until that first scan. You'll need two 48 hours apart to check your hg is doubling. Also, if you do have a mc it can take weeks for the test to show negative, so you may be putting yourself through POAS anxiety when it may not actually be telling you anything.

Anyway, sorry for ramble, here for a hand hold and crossing everything for us both!

Sorry stating that I had 3 is probably not helpful. The likelihood of that happening is very rare and there is every chance this will go well for you

@daffodil21 ahhh thank you for the message, honestly its fine! My mum had a few MC and i know it could be a possibility for me so don't worry about that!

Basically I don't want to call the doctors yet as we are due to have our IVF appointment in March and if i have this on my record as a pregnancy then we can't get help until 2022 which is just so far away and weve been TTC 14 months and still no baby and DH has low sperm morphology so it could be an issue IVF could help with so i really don't want to ruin it. AF isnt due until tomorrow (i think although the line was pretty clear so i could ovulated early i guess) so i was just going to do a digi at the weekend maybe as i should get 2-3 at least. But you are so right, i hate POAS so much so i might just wait. I have no symptoms of MC like before.

Do you know if you can get blood tests privately or do they still show on record? Im so chuffed for you that this pregnancy seems to be working out for you! I'm sorry you had to go through 3 MC though, I only had one and it was the darkest point of my life!

Sending you lots of love and hopefulness

@unicornpower very good point about keeping it off your record. We had exactly that issue. We were told after 2 mc's and 2 years of TTC that we need to keep trying until september 2021 as it has to either be two years of TTC or two years since a pregnancy. I could not believe it. Same issue here with morphology so if this also fails I hope we get offered ICSI, as I'm not sure ivf will help us as we seem to be able to conceive ok. Then we had a 3rd mc so the fertility clinic washed their hands of us, and we're now on the waiting list for the recurrent mc clinic but not actually under anyone's 'care'. My gp has been really good though and had made sure a consultant has been in contact (even if did take 3 weeks despite an 'urgent referral'!).

I actually don't know if you can get a private blood test. I can't see why you couldn't at a private fertility clinic?

@daffodil21 I know, the rules seem so strict don't they as even though we may have conceived, we still don't have a baby so the end goal hasn't been achieved? Oh really? what was his score? my DH managed to improve his from a 1% to 3% the clinic said we still had a chance of conceiving naturally as his count was high but i just don't want to jinx it i really don't. Did you have all your hormones checked?

I might have a google about the private blood tests as at least i could see if HCG was increasing, i just really dont want it on my record :(

There is a support thread for anyone pregnant after a loss OP.

Good luck. I'm currently 14 weeks after a MMC at 12 last summer. Until I feel movements I can't help but worry. Even the scans only help for that day because I had three last time before baby's heartbeat just stopped. So I certainly empathise. That support board is really good though.

@unicornpower I seem to remember saying something along the lines of 'well we've been trying for two years, I don't have a baby and I'm not pregnant, so how can it be that we don't need treatment' 😂 his first was 1.5% then it increased to 3%. The consultant didn't seem worried about our chances of conception at all, and to be fair I guess he's right considering this is my 4th pregnancy.

Yeah I had all my hormones etc checked. I've also been checked for blood clotting disorders etc. I'm so tired of the consultants all saying how amazing my blood results are but not actually being concerned with the fact I've lost 3 pregnancies. I'm currently on progesterone and prednisolone, which is an immunity suppressant (not ideal in a pandemic!) just in case my body just rejects pregnancies. So far so good so maybe it is helping.

Did you manage to find anywhere to do your bloods?

@Daffodil21 honestly its so unfair isnt it! Just because you can get pregnant doesn't mean you might not need help, I mean I hope you don't and this pregnancy is successful for you! Oh thats great then! Same as my DH. There's just no real care for miscarriage sufferers is there really which isn't great

I havent checked yet, I tested again today and i got 2-3 on a CB digital which is better than I got last time already so im feeling more positive now, I mean im taking each day as it comes but I feel a bit better. 🙄

@unicornpower I'm so sorry I never replied to this! How are you getting on?

@Daffodil21 oh dont worry! Im doing okay at the moment I think, spotting seems to have gone (at least for now anyway!)

How are you? How are you feeling? X

I had a miscarriage feb 2020 and not conceived again yet. I’m anxious but also holding on to what the midwife said to me this is just a practice run for your body, next time it will know what to do.

I do worry that my body might want a few practice runs- like when I learn anything new.

@kona84 so sorry to hear that, its an awful thing to go through so im sending you a massive hug, we were due to start IVF in March so this is all a big shock and im still terrified it will all go wrong again. I really hope your body doesn't need a few practice runs, our bodies are quite clever so hopefully that's not the case for you.

I keep telling myself that if the worst does happen, its mother natures way of looking out for us and not making us continue with a none viable pregnancy that will cause us more heartache later on xx

@unicornpower that's good! How far along are you now? Do you have any scans booked yet? I'm ok thank you, I had a scan yesterday and everything looked good, so that's a massive relief for now but still a way to hopefully go as yet!

@Kona84 so sorry to hear that, it is horrible isn't it. I took almost a year to conceive after my second mc. There doesn't seem to be any rhyme or reason to it, I hope you get your sticky bfp soon

@Daffodil21 im 5+2 today and got a 3+ on a cb digi last Sunday so im hoping thats a good sign. Yay thats amazing news about your scan! How far along are you? We are hopefully going to book one for the 1st Feb when I'll be 6+5, I genuinely can't wait much longer than that to see if its okay.

Im getting quite alot of nausea now which is a weird comfort as I never had it before really except for one day and then it disappeared so fingers crossed! How are you feeling? X

Hello @unicornpower thought I'd jump on and say hello as going through the same thing! Had a miscarriage at about 6weeks in November, and pregnant again now. Am only 4+6 l, but have been POAS every day - sometimes twice! And am really working myself up. Trying to stay calm but don't have any symptoms so stressing! How are you getting on?

@unicornpower I'm so sorry I've only just seen your message!

That's great you got the 3+! I refuse to keep testing after I get a digi confirmation because I just can't deal with it! I did get an HCG blood test from the doc to check my levels were doubling in 48 hours though. I was such an anxious mess waiting for that phone call!

I'm (hopefully) 11+2 today. Next scan 4th Feb and it's already dragging! Although I am dreading it.

I would say sorry about your morning sickness but I know that must be a comfort! I don't have any, and the only thing that's making me feel ok about not having it is my regular scans, and my friend telling me she never had any with her daughter.

I'm feeling ok mostly - just tired and peeing lots, particularly in the night, but it's a small price to pay!

@Busybee93 hi! Oh im so sorry about your miscarriage, it really is the worst thing in the world isnt it to go through. Are you feeling okay? I am feeling quite rough now, ive had pretty extreme sickness the last week, I had to call the doctor on Monday who gave me some medication to help it as I couldn't keep anything down! Im 6+1 now and we have an early scan on Sunday so im scared!

@daffodil21 thats okay dont worry! Im 6+1 now so moving slowly and like I said above the sickness has been awful this week! Im hoping for good news at our early scan. I got another 3+ last weekend and im not testing anymore as it seems pointless really. Ohhh 4th Feb isn't too long to wait at all is it? How exciting! I am hoping and praying that its all okay for you I really am xxxx