Entering 2021 in a Bum flap onesie for lockdown lovin, squinty lines & foul words - TTC Bus 27

[Minster2012]

It’s a New Year TTC bitches and of course it’s time for a new bus...

2020 was a bit of a TWATFACE for us
2021...is surely EXACTLY the number of babies we are owed by now.

We’ve read up on what we need to do to get pregnant, if you haven’t, see last bus or read my hotly anticipated blog and join us.

We are here, we are ready, so get your tickets for the bus, grab your seat, your roadie & your snacks cos I’ve sent out the memo to the stalks- bring us our babies!

Story so far...

June 24 BFPs
July 11 BFPs
August 18 BFPs
Sep 4 BFPs
Oct 7 BFPs
Nov 7 BFPs
Dec 14 BFPs
2 sneaky ones just before New Year!

2 BFP already for jan!

So what’s everyone’s New Years resolutions then? Who is gonna get the first BFP of 2021?
And what should be the title of my new blog?🤔

@Deemama21 pfft what an arse - no adult should be running away each time there's an argument! @Minster2012 has a shotgun we can use.

@Jane334 welcome! Are you planning on getting any blood tests done? I think you can start them after 6 months if over the age of 35.

@DJmum83 woop for confirmed ovulation! That's much clearer looking now. I didn't manage to BD - OH last minute chickened it and asked if it's really vital we BD yesterday.... Needless to say I wasn't impressed and now we've missed ovulation again 😅. At least we are covered from the BD before anyways, but I def shed a tear from frustration. Check out my chart, my rise is pretty obvious 🤣

Sending big hugs @deemama21 hope you're feeling a bit stronger this morning. He's probably just hurting from the disappointment on the test and dealing with his feelings in the wrong way. That's not to say what he's done is right, especially if you say he's walked out before. When he comes back with his tail between his legs I'd be having a long harsh talk with him about growing up, you can take a few hours to yourself but you can't just abandon ship and threaten to leave every time the going gets tough! So don't see it as anything you've done wrong he's not 'leaving you' per say as it isn't your problem, he's running away being an emotional fuckwitt unable to sit down and have an adult conversation about problems. And as for your relationship with your ex dont change a thing there, your children need to see that both their parents can be mature and get along for their sake. Sounds like he's just being jealous and insecure of that relationship but that's something he has to work on not you, your children come first and your ex will always be in your life due to them so he needs to put his big boy pants on and suck it up be a grown up too.

Welcome @jane334, sorry to hear about your MC, due to your age you can go see the doc after 6months of trying. Tho I wouldnt worry about something being wrong after 9months, once you hang around here a while you'll realise ttc definitely isn't as easy as the fear mongering at high school made it out to be! My first I was just under the year mark before I fell pregnant that was at 33, I'm now 36 and ttc number two and it's been 17 months so far.

Doesn't sound like much fun right now @lucyrp, hopefully it eases up soon.

Did you test @Hopeful110? Keeping everything crossed for you 🤞

@Minster2012 well one of my appointments for my results of my mri in my back is still going ahead, a phone consultation next week, just need this scan to go ahead🤞🏼

@Deemama21 sorry but I'm gobsmacked, like receiving a negative test isn't bad enough, your OH then leaves you? Joke!! Your relationship with your children's father sounds perfect and mature, it's nice for your children to see you getting on, and if your OH doesn't like that, fuck him!! How long have you been together?? Sending hugs x

@Jane334 welcome!! Sorry to hear about your loss! But don't worry, sometimes people just take longer than others to conceive, doesn't necessarily mean something is wrong, I'm on month 9 cycle 8, and counting, you've come to the right group for support!!x

@lucyrp how did your MW appointment go??

Well, after the announcement last night we aren't sure whether we can open because he hasn't been clear enough on childcare settings, so we're waiting to see today what the clearer rules are, hopefully we can still open the setting for key children🤞🏼 then on the first day of my diet yesterday and had calories left so wanted some fruit and nut dairy milk, realised it was 167 cals per 4 squares!!! So couldn't have that, fuming, then woke up this morning with sciatica right down my left arse cheek into the side of my vag and flaps, that sensitive I can't even wipe, and my knickers are irritating it!!!
So I realise the fruit and nut chocolate problems aren't half as bad as what goes into this group, but you know when something riles you😂😂

Hope everyone is okay, sending love❤️

@Hopeful110 I'd poas if I was you but that's not saying much as I will poas for very little reason 😂

Sooooo this has been on my mind and I've been pushing it away but I'm just going to say it seen as we are all a bit covidy heretoday anyway. Are we mad? Should we be actively ttc with all this? I thought this in the first lockdown and then you just sort of get used to it but now it's all escalating a

....again and have to wonder are we mad? Do any of you have second thoughts or worry about how the hospitals will hold up and the impact on prenatal care etc plus now all that about not getting vaccinated when pregnant or ttc?

@DKDK123 heyy, no I haven't tested yet, I've read it can take around 2-5 days for the hcg to be detected in urine after IB (if that's what it was)
So probably have to wait til tomorrow at the earliest, and use a frer but if my temp doesn't increase tomorrow il probably hold off until AF shows. I'll keep you posted. Xx

@Katao haha its tempting believe me! I have 5 frers, 8 femometer hcg, and 25 sweetyfox hcg tests. Could potentially waste an ic later on tonight haha also im probably symptom spotting but I swear I have peed more than usual! I went twice in the night and about 5 times yday normally I only go once or twice a day! 🤣🤦‍♀️ watch...after all this it'll be negative xx

Hi Ladies, thank you so much for the lovely welcome! It’s so nice to finally have some like minded people to talk to about this journey. My partner is very much of the frame of mind “we get on with things” so doesn’t like to discuss things like this in depth which is fine with me as that’s his way but I am the total opposite so this group will be a great help I just know it!
I spoke to the nurse yesterday and she has arranged blood tests, does anyone know what they test for?
MC was the hardest thing i have ever been through in my life, at 10 weeks I was just getting used to being pregnant but it wasn’t meant to be. I can hear the ultrasound lady’s voice in my head “so sorry lovely but there is no heartbeat”. We had a scan a week earlier and she said the beat was slow but there.... she said it either means it’s just started or is about to stop.... it breaks my heart everytime I think of it.... this little life inside me flailing and trying to live. He/she never got to know how much I treasured them.

I have to look forward and not dwell on the past and you ladies are already helping me do that so thank you and lots of love xxx

@katao I might be the odd one out but it's not bothered me in the slightest. Babies still have to be born, societies must move on and we don't know how long we have to stay with covid as a reality. It's already been a year with no easing up and I'm on cycle 13 with no baby so I'm glad I didn't postpone!

@Jane334 they do two types of test as standard. One approx a week after ovulation (called the day 21 test) where they check your progesterone levels to confirm you actually did ovulate. The other test is on day 3 of your cycle to get a baseline understanding of your LH, FSH, testosterone, TSH etc. This is to see if there are any concerns about thyroid problems, menopause, hormone disruptions etc.

Oh wow thank you so much. Yes, I remember now she mentioned thyroid! I have been using clearblie digital ovulation test for about the last 4 months and we have had sex on my peak ovulation days but no joy. The fact this detects a peak is a good sign? Or could it be wrong?

My partner is on board with the timed sex but it is such a passion killer, does anyone else find that? We have such a great sex life usually but when it’s timed we both have found it difficult to get in the mood... 🤦🏼‍♀️ Do you guys plan to have sex on set days like peak ovulation or just keep to every 2-3 days like NHS says? I’m thinking this may be better but is still a lot of baby making time 😂 good job we’re in lockdown 😂

@Juno231 i think like that most of the time, big picture it's what we want, time isn't on our side etc and yeah I'm clearly not very fertile. But every now and then when things get a bit scarier I panic!

@Jane334 the ovulation kits detect that you had an LH surge which happens when your body tries to ovulate - it doesn't mean it actually has ovulated though. Odds are you're fine but some ladies are blissfully unaware that there's no egg being released. Temperature tracking helps confirm if it actually has though.

@Hopeful110 do you have any sticks to pee on?? I mean you could do just for peace of lind 🤔

@DJmum83 I'd say that was pretty conclusive!!

@paintfairy I'm with you really if DH actually packed his things then his cupboards would be filled with my stuff by the end of the day 😂

@Juno231 awwww look at that chart!! But don't fry love, we've had plenty of BFPS from less DTD!!

@Vil10 so that's good news on the scan going ahead right & fruit & nut is big news right now!!

@Katao it's a tough one but I can't afford to wait really, well I could afford a lot more if I did though 🤔but age wise not. Hmmmm, it's v difficult

@Katao I go thru spells of questioning if I'm doing the right thing ttc just now too. My first was a high risk pregnancy and I was in and out of hospital like a yoyo. By about week 30 they decided it was too risky for me to stay at home and had to be hospitalised till baby came (luckily he came a month early so my hospital stay wasn't as long). I was told its quite likely I'd face the same problems again 2nd time round so it's really made me question if ttc in the middle of a pandemic is the best idea. The thought of having to keep going to hospital with covid around isn't exactly reassuring! And I worry about staffing levels if staff are either pulled to elsewhere in the hospital or off sick with stress etc. They were already short staffed with my first and that was pre covid times.
But then the other part of me thinks we've no idea how long it'll be till the whole covid thing blows over and age isn't exactly on my side to keep waiting. I'm at 17 months so far, if I'd stopped to wait for covid then had another 17 months on top of that I'd be devastated so have decided to just keep charging ahead ttc as planned.....but I do still have my wobbles as to whether I'm doing the right thing or not.

@jane334, your baby did know how much you treasured it, even if you didn't get to cradle it in your arms it would have felt all that love inside your womb so hold on to that thought.
On the sex front, I dont tell my partner when FW is anymore as I found that it was making sex feel forced, we weren't enjoying it as much and he'd sometimes fail to finish due to the pressure. I track using ovulation strips and temp to confirm ovulation and make sure we're having sex throught the cycle as we normally would have but make sure I get as many extra days in during FW as possible which isn't too hard as thats naturally when my body wants to have lots of sex anyways. The clear blue digis can be really expensive, I'd suggest if youre finding you're definitely getting a peak with them then start using cheap ones alongside it for a month or two to check the timings are tying in with each other and if they are switch to the cheap ones (personally I find the easy@home ones give me the clearest peak) save yourself a lot of money as it can become really costly over time.

@Minster2012 that's it isn't it, sort of now or never. I know what I want and I want it badly but do worry about the risk involved at the moment. Is anyone considering taking a ttc break to get vaccinated when the time comes if you haven't conceived yet?

@DKDK123 thank you so much for your kind words, it really means a lot.
Sorry to hear you’re not having the best of times either... sending you lots of love ❤️

I will try the cheaper ones, thanks for the tip! I think I have seen them in home bargains... I naively thought I would only need the digital ones for a month 😂

How do you measure BT? I have never tried this and would like to know if I am ovulating? I assumed the LH surge was enough to know ovulation had happened xx

@Juno231 thank you for this, I never knew it meant that... I thought i was 100% ovulating. I will try and look into measuring BT.
I cling on to the hope that since I have conceived once it can happen again xx

@Minster2012 yep. More room for me! 🤣

@Katao @DKDK123 I do too. Maybe not in the same way though. I'm too old to wait so if I don't do it, that'll be it. But I have doubts. Not because of safe delivery etc. But the long term. There's so much instability with no end in sight. I think we are naive to think that this will be gone by the end of the year. My worry is what life will this child have? I do not believe the future is now something I have a vision of and I've no idea what it'll be like? The messing with the schools, people can't work because kids are off (we cannot afford to live on 1 wage). The baby will get no exposure to the world from young and I'd worry it'll make the child unable to cope with the real world later? It'll not be able to form any bonds with other people/family/friends? I'm such an antisocial weirdo anyway- it would have been tough without these added extras. No ability to meet other mums etc? Maybe if you already have a child its easier. But I don't? So for me, there's a lot of anxiety there, which is not exactly how I envisaged it!

@Jane334 the LH surge shows that your body's gearing up to ovulate, in theory after your peak an egg should be released usually 24-48hours after the surge. However sometimes your body fails to release the egg, the good thing is your body can detect this and usually tried again a few days later thats why if youre only having sex around your peak you might actually miss ovulation if it happens later.
Temping can confirm ovulation, you take your temperature at the same time every morning before you move/speak/get out of bed etc Your temp should be roughly the same however after you ovulate you'll see a small rise in temperature and it should stay risen until just before your period comes. I dont temp strictly, I dotn stick to the same time every morn or focus on individual temps I just look for the overall trend in mine and I know for me my temp usually sits around 36.4 and rises to around 36.6/8 after ovulation I just do it casually to check I've ovulated. Some of the other ladies might be able to help you better with the strict ins and outs of temping properly.

@DKDK123 your post read like my inner voice! That pretty much is how I'm feeling. I also need extra care in pregnancy and have to engage with a&e so that worries me. The thing is I know I'm going to press on because it's what I want but I think I just needed to seek reassurance from you girls who are in similar positions.

@paintfairy I think children are very resilient and can cope and adapt very well if they have a stable base which is you. Especially you children, itgoes over their heads and their worlds are quite small anyway.

@DKDK123 wow, thank you so much! I have always ‘given up’ for that cycle after them two days but now you say it, when we conceived first time I was only using a period tracker and I thought we had missed ovulation and we had sex late in the month but conceived! That’s such an eye opener and you have really helped me there, thank you x

@paintfairy I feel your concerns its such uncertain times we'd be bringing a child into the world and definitely not what you'd have dreamed of when you first thought of having kids. But also remember all the children born at this time will more or less face the same with regards to exposure so I wouldn't worry too much about them not being able to cope in the real world later as it'll be a whole generation all adapting and learning together, plus kids are far more resilient and able to adapt than most adults can, I think schools will need to adapt the curriculum more in the future to weigh heavier on health and wellbeing but that's not a bad thing its been long overdue. Being unable to keep in touch with family will be hard so will just need to make use of technology and/or socially distanced walks. Tho once a big chunk of the vaccines are rolled out hopefully by the time we have a child things won't be as restricted as they are now, tho I think you're right I definitely can't see covid being gone by then I just hope life's a bit easier or we've adapted more to changes further down the line.
As for baby groups while some mums love them they weren't for me, I joined a few went for a few weeks and left as they were just too cliquey for my liking. I dont have any mum friends where I stay but DS doesn't seemed to have suffered for it, he went to nursery when I returned to work so he's happy socialising there. So try not to worry too much about the future, easier said than done with the unknown I know.

@Minster2012 hahahaha chocolate is always news!!

@Katao hmm I know what you mean, but knowing how long it's taking me at the minute, I wouldn't want to hold off whilst all this shit is going on because we don't know how long we're going to be in this situation for, so I might be holding off on TTC for another year, then take another year to actually conceive!!

@Jane334 ask anything, we are a fountain of lots of information, some very useful, I am a fountain of very useless information I'm afraid 😂

I'm having to jump in and out today as a small beast demands attention

@Deemama21 oh my god !!!! What an asshole. How are you feeling today, did you manage to get some sleep last night ? Xx

@Vil10 sciatica sounds bloody awful, have you got some decent drugs?

@Katao I have toyed with the covid question, I am worried tonight the doctor is going to think I'm crazy asking for TTC advice, and I'm a nurse so feel like she'll think I should know better than to ask at the moment 😂

@Jane334 welcome to the bus!!! Sorry to hear you've had a difficult time, I will keep everything crossed for a sticky one for you Xxx