BUS 25-TTC the messiah 🤰spewing out jizz, jingling balls & BFPs for Xmas 🎄

[Minster2012]

Well ladies....buckle up cos this bus is often more like a 🏎🤣

We are TTC in often weird and wonderful ways and that’s the way we like it...long as we are there for each other, which some of us have been for longer than we care to remember 😜. So whether your glass of half empty, half full, a pint glass, a shot glass (a tic tac container?), a mug of tea, this is where we come to refill it...🥰 Mumsnet is our happy place 🥰

Don’t forget...
⁃ No judgement
⁃ A few of us like a sex toy a few don’t, there may be sex toys discussed! 🤪a few of our fellas have enjoyed this aspect
⁃ Support each other, ranting is allowed, saying you are down is encouraged & celebrating our happy days too 😊
⁃ If you have a pet, it’s welcome aboard
⁃ mandatory picture of your 🎄tree /Xmas decorations / Xmas jumper or similar
⁃ Ditto Wreath - extra points awarded if wreath is homemade 🥰
⁃ We may stray away from TTC a fair bit
⁃ NOTHING IS TOO MUCH INFORMATION

Story so far...

June 24 BFPs
July 11 BFPs
August 18 BFPs
Sep 4 BFPs
Oct 7 BFPs
Nov 7 BFPs

7 BFPs in Dec so far ....
Sneaky @lucyrp getting in there at the end 😍

How many more 🤔
Can we birth the messiah???
Or will we get thrown off Mumsnet??

@Minster2012 I'm loving those nails.
They would actually make a great announcement.

Xxx

@Juno231 I have a feeling it's your month 🤞🤞🤞🤞🤞🤞🤞🤞😘😘😘

@notyetamumbuttrying yup shoved it in far as could go into the cave!
how old are you? It's v rare for NHS to do 2 embryos now unless over 38, HEFA discourage it so much & rates only show negligible success increase upto age 38 for live births so NHS only tend to do single transfers unless due to medical reason. I would have loved twins first of it were me 🤪
Right here goes...My friend didn't sign over any "rights" we did. We weren't his parents. Legally. At all. Totally biologically. But on his birth certificate in the uk surrogacy laws are fucked up.
-The surro mum is the "mother" by law, & if she's married her spouse is the father. You can't get round it.
-We had an agreement we drew up but no surrogacy agreement in the uk is legally binding, once the child is born it's the child of the surrogate.
-Even though to then get a parental order (which then gives us a new birth certificate) at least one "intended parent" (me or DH) has to be biologically related to the child the surrogate mother (or parents if married) can keep the child after they are born. We are fucked & by that stage you've likely paid around £10,000 to the surrogate in the UK (in monthly expense instalments)

• she takes her life in her hands by getting pregnant & the impact on her life etc in our agreement we had to cover things like termination, medical problems /costs involved /compensation for any complications like hysterectomy resulting from birth
• we pay for costs /appointments /time off/childcare, counselling for her &DH etc
• as they had an extra child we had to pay for wills for both us & them to reflect that if a child was born it had no claim on their estate if anything happened to them before our parental order went through & similarly who would "adopt" the child if we happened to die as they didn't want another child (don't forget we did this in secret so kinda had to assume my parents would adopt a child)
• it's usual for intended parents (us) to pay for life insurance for her for 2 years for the treatment & after so that's just finished
• once born we in the uk you then can only file for the parental order once the child is between 6 weeks to 6 months old so at any stage they can change their mind. Run off. But the child has to have moved in with us for it to go through. But the GPS/hospital things is a nightmare as she had to sign a few things over here (1.5 hours away) as his "mother" for a bit which was a bit demeaning
• if he had to go to hospital in the first few months they would have prob had to speak to her so no it was more the other way
• his passport has her signature in it we can't get round that cos we went away before it went through & they wouldn't accept I had parental responsibility 🤷‍♀️
• we couldn't open a bank account

After all that 7 months later we got a new replacement birth certificate stating us as parents but even now this year it created an issue trying to get onto the government childcare site as the number was longer but meh.

Sorry. It's such a stupid system but the ladies who do it are amazing.

Watch "the nest" on bbc. It wasn't quite like that but not far off and that was in whilst I was still bleeding this summer.

@clolo that's so good you get endless frozen transfers up there! London is not as generous, so pretty standard 😂
@Minster2012 hmm no idea then hun!
I'm 34, 35 in March so no chance of two embryos for me, was being kinda being facetious anyway.
Gosh our laws are nuts!! I bet the whole process just felt so crazy. Thank god you two have such a fantastic relationship. Do you intend on telling your son she carried him? Such a shame you had those horrible bumps in the road, but so lovely that you're getting through them! Will watch that over Christmas, thank you x

@clolo nope unfortunately legally it was true. She could have kept the kid. And the money. And had no recourse. Legally. It's stupid. My friend does joke she had 3 children. She did. For a bit. Legally she could have claimed child support for him. Fucked up. She could have said she couldn't bear to part with a child she gave birth to. That's why ivf places make you have counselling for surrogacy on both sides, and surrogates are very much encouraged to have "finished" their own families. We could have lost our dream as well as tens of thousands that were making it possible. ☹️

Whoops sorry @notyetamumbuttrying yes we intend to tell him. They are his "oddparents" and we refer to her kids as his cousins 🥰

Aww @Minster2012 what a massive emotional rollercoaster for you all.
The laws here are ridiculous!!
I'm glad it all worked out and you have your gorgeous wee boy.
I think your a very brave lady and he is so lucky to have you as his mummy xxx

So what we've established is that if by the end of the bus that we aren't all pregnant.... that everyone needs to move to Hull & get IVF???
🙌🏻or the nice villages near me anyway

Winnnnnneeeerrrrrrrrr all you southerners can all get well fancy smancy houses up here anyways

Love a house in the middle of a forest, @Minster2012, I think I start feeling af signs, meh

Sorry guys trying to catch up with the bus but it's been moving like crazy!

@Minster2012 paprika leakage 🤣. Fingers crossed the transfer can go ahead in Feb. Mooncups are amazing (I used mine with a coil no problem too), much better as they collect any fluid but don't give you a 'dry feeling' - I'd never go back to tampons now! Love it!

@lucyrp I'm sure your mum will be happy and it might even bring your DH & her closer.

@clolo I think it was a bit insensitive for her to send the photo, as she does know you're trying. But she probably just didn't think and got over excited. Don't worry you'll be spamming that group chat with scan pictures someday soon!

The IVF rules vary so much, it seems very unfair. And don't get me started on useless GPS, you have to really fight, especially as a woman.

Honestly you guys have cracked me up this evening while I've been catching up with the "spice rack in your knickers chat", "paprika leakage" and everything in between 🤣🤣🤣

@Juno231 I just wanted to put it out there that I agree with @DJmum83 and I think this is your month. As soon as you posted your graph withe the dip on 6dpo I was like omg is that an implantation dip. I'm keeping everything crossed for you hun🤞🏻

@minster2012 what an incredibly complicated system we have here in the UK but so interesting to hear about. Its just not something that you think about until you need it and I imagine it's a midfield. But worth it in for sure 😊

Keeping my fingers crossed for the few of you possibly testing in the next few days. Xx

Oh also I had my blood HCG results back yesterday and they were zero which is good news as it suggests that the nit of tissue they saw in my uterus is not likely retained placenta but more likely to be some uterine lining that's got infected. And it the infection has likely been brewing this whole time hence the bleeding.

Anyway I'm half way through my antibiotics and things a have already started to settle. They said I don't need a scan as my hcg is 0 and as long as the bleeding settles it will be fine but they've said that all along and 11 weeks later I'm still here so I think I'll call later in the week and ask for a scan to confirm an empty uterus to be 100% sure. It's not standard practice but I hope they will givne the circumstances 🤞🏻

Anyway I'm hoping that this really is the end this time and once this infection has cleared, my body won't be in "stress" anymore and my cycle will come back and I can get back to ttc again. I'm feeling really ready to go again now.

I just want to say thank you again to you all for being such a huge support to me over these last few months. It's been one of the most heart wrenching experiences for me and I honestly don't know how I would have got through it all without your words of kindness, compassion and encouragement. A bit soppy maybe but you guys are THE BEST bus bitches ever 💕😊😉

@Minster2012 don't tempt me to move to Hull! Before I met my OH, I was seeing a man from Hull and he was outstanding 😉 I was very disappointed it didn't work out 🤤💦

So I'm currently on the sofa after storming downstairs. Absolutely furious. Me and OH have had a lovely date night at a restaurant, lots of open and honest chat, lots of laughs but of course he's had a few beers (I didn't as I drove). We were in the middle of baby dancing and the bed was being noisy which frustrated me as I don't want my kids hearing anything like that. He basically saw his arse about it and accused me of using it as an excuse not to have sex. I've blown my lid at him. It was literally an hour earlier he was talking about wanting to get some private fertility tests done! I love this man but right now I really can't frikkin stand the bastard 😤

@Minster2012 haha can you imagine. Mum I have something to tell you... look at my nails they may be a clue hahahah x

@notyetamumbuttrying a play on pcos lol, it's a pcos hashtag.

Someone said about spotting. Although my gp and fertility specialist have been amazing, they don't seem too worried by my spotting 🤔

@Minster2012 that's brilliant (nails)😂 and we often say we'd have a house by now if we were up North! Tbh I would move to Yorkshire in a heartbeat as I fell in love with the place, but being that far from family would be hard :/ well... I mean my dad and mum are in another country but my dh family and my Nan.
Also, the surrogacy thing sounds so scary! I had no idea it was legally laid out like that.

@Sausage1990 im so glad it's looking like it's over. It's traumatic enough without all of that! You're so strong and fantastic, I hope you can move forward quickly x

@Joanna1009 eek! Try and talk to him about it once you've had some space x

Well we just took our covid tests and I honestly don't understand how people do it on a regular basis 🤮🤮🤮🤮

@Justanothercyster he's gone to work now so I'll talk to him later.

Regarding the COVID tests....starting in the next week or two we have to have them weekly for work! I had one a few weeks back when I was poorly and it wasn't a nice experience. They're mandatory too for us. I understand why but it won't make it any less icky to do!

Ugh the test sounds awful. You poor thing @Joanna1009. Good luck with the results @Justanothercyster, when are you flying?
@Sausage1990 it's lovely to read your last post, the whole tone sounds different. You sound lighter 🥰 you've had such a hard time. I hope this is the end of it now and you can enjoy your Christmas and start 2021 fresh.

You were a chatty bunch last night. All the ivf and surrogacy talk is fascinating. It's not ideal obviously but isn't it such a blessing really. I'm sure we all have older relatives who never had children because back then if it didn't happen it just didn't happen.

Morning ladies and yayyyyyy @Sausage1990!!!

@Joanna1009 ah. No what??? Fucks sake. Have all the hugs. Men. And squeaky beds.

@DJmum83 👀hoping AF isn't here & good luck did FRER if you are using!! 🤞🏻

@Juno231 🤞🏻👀is that temp confirming Dec is your month?

@Katao definitely. We are so lucky with science now

@Justanothercyster that's what I said about the tests, awful! Here's hoping yours is all good and to Dubai you go!!

@Justanothercyster I'm surprised they are aren't concerned about spotting but have also had difficult GPs who were just very keen to put me on a different pill to see if the spotting stopped. If the spotting is the same time each month (usually mid cycle) I've been told it's likely hormonal. Have you had a smear recently? If not maybe ask for one? I think blood after sex is more of a concern to them. However I would be tempted to go back say you are still concerned and say spotting doesn't seem to fit a pattern. Best to get these things checked just in case.

@Sausage1990 so glad your getting there hun and of course we are all here to support you the whole way.

@Minster2012 those nails are hilarious 😂 on a different note the whole surrogacy thing sounds like more of a rollercoaster than this TTC stuff.

@Juno231 really hoping this is your month

@Juno231 I'm so hoping this is your month!! Got everything crossed for you!!

@Joanna1009 wow sorry I'd be raging at that!! Men!!

Thanks again ladies but today's chart movements aren't on the up I'm afraid! Temp is ever so slightly down and rhr is down one as well so 🤷‍♀️

@Sausage1990 I really hope this round of antibiotics is it for you and the 11 week ordeal can finally be over!