Pre-conception, planning and trying!

[sunflowersaremyfav93]

Third thread here we go...

@CookieMonster3001
@lollipop87
@bells3032
@thenewmrsM
@curiosity101
@AMS19
@butterfly5291
@clouless
@gems05
@HeyDW96
@kittyT30
@Pebbleinthesand

I've started a new thread for us, tag people I've missed.

💘

@Bells3032 I would in theory, but only after looking up the particular vaccine and how it was built/tested. Vaccines have come a long way, there is a lot less guesswork and a lot more boring (but safe) repeatable science to them now. I don't know as much about all of the vaccines I'd be perfectly comfortable having the Oxford one as I understand entirely how it was built and how it works. As much as nothing is ever 100% safe I would take it whilst pregnant.

@olderthanyouthink Can we take bets? I reckon you were ~6 weeks when you found out. So I reckon you'll be ~8 weeks at your scan.

@CookieMonster3001 Oh my gosh, well done! 3lb is no small feat! Great news about your sister, and fingers crossed this cycle is your cycle. I feel like statistically one of us has to fall this cycle. fingers crossed for you

@sunflowersaremyfav93 I have those weeks sometimes. I invested in reusable post it notes for that very reason! If the contents of the post it notes get old I eventually just drop them off the list but normally it helps me clear my mind and focus on doing things in the best order. Hopefully things settled down and you get on top of work again soon!

@TheNewMrsW Haha, must be incredibly frustrating but a nice surprise for your DH? . I reckon it could well be a failed previous attempt so your body is going again. It'll probably become clear from your BBT in the next few days.

I'm trying very very hard not to buy maternity clothes. I don't want to jinx it but there's a really good sale on at Gap at the moment. Roughly 60% off of everything and it finishes today!!!

@Curiosity101 hahaha sure, place your bets!
I lived in a couple CK bras last time and they brought out a nursing version and I've seen it on sale but I don't want to buy them incase I jinx anything which I know is doubly silly as I'm actually still nursing and that's not how it works 😂

Hi ladies,

Been looking forward to reading through this. Start on the month means just two months to go before we start TTC thank god!!

@mackjm20 sorry to hear about your husband, good that he has time though things always work out in the end don’t they.

Ahh well done @curiosity101 you’re literally amazing. You’ve done so well with the weight loss, the commitment really inspires me.. I could take a leaf out of your book and do some squats and planks as well!! And omg reusable post it notes... genius idea!!!!
Omg I have so much saved on ASOS all really nice maternity bits and I’m like no no don’t jinx it. 😩

I’m really sorry to hear about your grandad @olderthanyouthink. Looking forward to hearing about how far along you are! Have you told anyone other than DH? I also agree with @olderthanyouthink’s prediction.

@bells3032 No, I really don’t want the vaccine if we’re going to start TTC. I actually had this conversation with my mum on Saturday and she agreed not to. I feel like not enough is known, do they know what effect it has on pregnant women? I just don’t want to risk anything.
How do you feel?

I don’t have loads of EWCM this month either @cookiemonster3001. Some months I have quite a bit and others I don’t. I’ve had really strong ovulation pains this month but my levels are low. I think I park CD15 I’m CD13 today so we’ll see what happens. Attaching my OPKs if anyone has any input... it feels to me like I’m not going to peak?!
Have you tried preseed by the way? Apparently the lube is sperm friendly and mimicks EWCM so it helps the sperm swim up there. I think it’s a bit pricey for a lube but I’ve read good things I’ll prob get it for our first month...along with plenty of sexy lingerie 😂😂 I’m tired at the thought. I think morning sex is definitely the way forward!!

Basing this on September when I used OPKs as well I went from 0.33 on CD14 to 0.88 in CD15 so I think my Flo app has it pretty spot on.
My plan when we start TTC is not to POAS loads and just DTD loads... I saw that's my plan but I know what I'm like I'll being doing OPKs 🙄

@sunflowersaremyfav93 Is it correct that those last two tests are 30 minutes apart with different samples? If so I'd say that's a pretty sizeable jump for 30 minutes, so if you often peak on CD15 I'd say it's highly likely you'll peak tomorrow as expected. I'd definitely test first thing in the morning.

Thanks @sunflowersaremyfav93 feels really oddly like one in one out. Will be the third I've taken DD to.

Only DH knows atm but I'm dying to tell SIL who is basically my BF but he doesn't want to tell one sister first and not the rest of the family. Might need to do some more wheedling or just have her guess

@Curiosity101 😂😂 I peed on the stick around 6:30ish and only uploaded it when I peed on the other one if that makes sense? Thanks for having a look. Should I do first wee of the day?

@olderthanyouthink Gosh it must be so hard not to tell people! Do you think they'll guess?

What's everyone doing about drinking over Christmas or drinking during TTC? I know we've spoken about this but I was thinking last night how I (stupidly) have guilt after I've had a drink and I think it's because I have the uterus problem which is out of my control so I just want to control everything else? Old on Sunday before we went to my bf's mum for dinner I was like ok I'll drive back and you have a drink and I won't drink and then I get there and they say 'oh you can just have one' which I know I can and they don't know anything else but I just hate the funny looks or 'ooh are you...' when I say no?

@sunflowersaremyfav93 I'd definitely test first thing if I were you.

And I also don't see any harm in drinking whilst TTC or in the TWW and would never judge someone for it (assuming they're drinking responsibly of course). Personally, I abstained during the TWW with DS but, if I'd had a family occasion I'd potentially have had a drink or two. It'd be easier/less stressful to have a drink than to get all the funny looks and Spanish inquisition.

Over Christmas, I intend to drink as usual more or less. Christmas day almost certainly falls in my TWW and seeing as we'll be surrounded by family I'll definitely have a few glasses of something bubbly. I might make some excuse about being the one who has to get up early with DS though, so that'll be the reason I'm not drinking much. Or I might get DH to make me some virgin G&Ts. I might also throw a few 'I've been working so hard to lose weight so I don't want to throw it all away by drinking loads' into the mix.

Ah ok brilliant, thank you @Curiosity101 it's nice to know the Flo app is accurate!
You're so right, having a glass is so much easier than the funny looks and interrogation. Plus it's Christmas so I may as well enjoy it!

@sunflowersaremyfav93 I think SIL will guess because we've been talking about it and how my body wasn't working how I'd like and that we were trying, I hear about her body/period complaints and vice versa

I don't drink anyway so not an issue but there's going to be a lot less people around at xmas this year? So less people to fool. Can you water down or swap your drink with the non alcoholic stuff? Guess it depends how much you normally drink

@olderthanyouthink so nice to have a relationship like that with your SIL! I don't really drink much anyway so it wouldn't really be a massive thing, my family don't really drink so it'd only really be Boxing Day I'm 100% over thinking it... I'll be doing dry Jan and extending it the whole year 😂

@sunflowersaremyfav93 DP grumbles about me talking so his sister about everything (not EVERYTHING sometimes things are sort of one way because otherwise its weird)

DP did vegetarian for a month as a challenge and now he's stuck like that it was before we met and it's soooo annoying. I worked with someone who would pick something to give up every year, he did alcohol one year, coffee another and then maybe added sugar or something. He was suuuuuper disciplined with it and quite crunchy/healthy

@sunflowersaremyfav93 I am lucky in that I'm spending Christmas with my bfs family and they don't drink! However Christmas Eve is with my mum and she will expect me to drink so I will have a glass and claim I don't want a hangover for the drive the next day :)

Oddly the period that was early has turned out to be random spotting- which also had cramps which made me think I also didn't know how to use condoms- 🤣 but it was negative. Aunt Flo should arrive tomorrow putting me back around the 20th

Bodies are so confusing! I have never had random spotting before

Hi ladies, sorry to jump in with a quick question but just wanted your advice!

I'm currently doing OPK's as on CD13 and have found that my levels have been really weak. I do drink a lot of water and so my urine can be very weak/ pale (sorry if TMI) I did an OPK this morning with my first wee which is obviously a lot darker and had a much better result. Premom could actually pick up my test line rather than being near 0. I know a lot of advice is to do the tests in the afternoon but does anyone do theirs in the morning/ know if any reasons why it can't be done in the morning? Thanks!

Well my bbt is back up to just above the cover line today so who knows what is going on..... think I might jump DH when he gets in today just to be sure 😂

@sunflowersaremyfav93 given that you aren't ttc just yet I think you should allow yourself a few drinks at Christmas! That isn't going to hurt and you need to have fun, you never know, come next Christmas you might be heavily pregnant or have a newborn! Assuming I don't get pg this cycle I will have a few Christmas Day and Boxing Day because if I don't my family will definitely start asking if I'm pregnant. If by some miracle we do catch this cycle I think we'll have to tell the immediate family at Christmas as again they will guess anyway if I don't have a drink!

@TTCWC2 you can do them in the morning, the CB fertility monitor does it in the morning. The only reason they say afternoon for most of them is that LH levels tend to be higher in the afternoon, but if your wee is always very diluted in the afternoon I would do them with FMU too. I have had very high readings with FMU. Personally I would test at least twice a day though or you might miss the surge as it can be short lived. Try limiting what your drink for a couple of hours in the afternoon and then going.

Brilliant thanks you @TheNewMrsW

@TTCWC2 I totally agree with @TheNewMrsW. I do them twice daily (morning and afternoon). My peak has regularly been in the morning.

I know it's often said that LH would be higher in the afternoon, but that doesn't actually make sense to me. Your LH peak/surge will be relative to ovulation and if it was always higher/surging in the afternoon then surely people would always ovulate at the same time of day as eachother? The only thing I would say is to be aware of how diluted your urine is. If you did a morning test and an afternoon test and they came out similar LH levels, but the afternoon urine was way more diluted then it's fair to say your levels have probably increased since the morning test.

@mackjm20 absolutely, I totally agree. Fingers crossed for us all for a Christmas BFP. Although caramel baileys does sound good!!!

@thenewmrsw oh no that sounds a pain in the butt!! From my understanding people can have multiple surges of LH but not actually ovulate although you had a small temp shift, it might be work DTD again and then keep an eye on your temp to see if it rises over the next couple of days.

@curiosity101 thank you!! Then I flopped yesterday and ate a massive bag of popcorn haha, I know thats not too bad as it could have easily been a grab bag of salt and vinegar crisps, but still feel a little guilty! lol... fingers crossed for all of us!! I cant wait to start seeing some BFPs in this group! And also, I would cave and buy in the sale. I bought a pair of maternity pants a couple of years back even though wasnt TTC and they were my fat pants for when I ate too much!

@sunflowersaremyfav93 we didnt go for preseed this month, but I did get some conceive plus which we used last night! fingers crossed!! I heard that some people get UTIs with it, but I seem to be fine! Your OPKs are looking good!! I would keep testing! Like I said I went from a super low, to a super high in 24 hours! When I started doing OPK's I would do afternoons, and now I have found my FMU is always the best to use and get the strongest results so I have stuck with that now. I have told my mum that me and OH are TTC and my sisters know as well so I am not going to drink (unless I get a BFN just before) and I know they wont really push it! Lucky we tend to pour our own drinks at home and the ladies in the family are more bothered about food then alcohol so I am not overly concerned about being forced to drink!

@TTCWC2 I always do my OPKs in the morning now as I get better results and its always confirmed with by CB digital so I haven't had any issues with using FMU

Wierdly enough, I had another peak today. I am sure I read somewhere that ovulation is always based on the first peak that you have so I am going to assume I am still due to ovulate today (will confirm with temps tomorrow) and DTD again today. OH is struggling again with DTD regardless or morning or night. We had another chat about it last night and he really struggles to stay hard during DTD and I think its because he is overthinking it. I have tried not telling him when I am fertile and I have tried telling him as well and both didnt really work. He is worried he has erection issues, but I pointed out that its not a regular thing. I just think he always has it at the back of his mind. Not really sure what to suggest. We managed it in the end last night, but it took about 4 attempts and TMI warning, when he did eventually ejaculate, he wasn't fully hard so I dont actually think it deposited properly (a lot of it was on my arse when he pulled out - sorry!). Really struggling on how to support him. He has no issues on the weekend mornings, but anything weekday he struggles with and for the last 3 months my fertile window has fallen during the week. He did mention that he feels his sex drive has dramatically reduced over the last year or so and when we are not TTC we usually only DTD once a week, and sometimes once every 2 weeks.

@CookieMonster3001 Meh, there's always tomorrow! I'm pretty sure we're having takeout for dinner tonight so you know... probably not worth weighing myself for a few days. Tbh AF is due today/tomorrow anyways, so I'm not going to want to do much other than eat and my weight fluctuates massively at this time of the month. I'll start tracking again etc on Monday.

Aww, it sounds like your DH has a really typical case of performance anxiety. It's probably exacerbated by the fact his libido is normally low (relative to current activity levels). It's such a normal reaction and it's no one's fault. I wish I had the magical answer for you both. Maybe less is more... would he prefer to abstain for the whole month up until the fertile window? Has he given you any suggestions about what would be better for him?

From looking at some of your messages it almost feels like perhaps going back to your usual schedule (but without contraception), or even taking a break from TTC altogether might be needed to give him some time to decompress. I hope that's not the case though as I know how excited you are to conceive.

@Curiosity101 i have suggested that to him but hes more eager to conceive than I am. I just feel so bad for him because hes really trying and I dont know how else to support him. That coupled with added pressures of just stuff going on its very hit and miss. Im going to try a different approach tonight by trying oral until he is ready, then he can finish in me instead and see if thats any better and it limits how much he has to do. I haven't suggested just holding out till fertile window just yet as I have read so much conflicting information about sperm production and keeping it healthy. We going to keep going but I have explicitly said its no pressure and if it doesnt happen it doesnt happen. We can only try our best I guess!

@CookieMonster3001 this is my chart so far this month, what do you think? FF is still saying I ov'd last week though because I recorded EWCM yesterday it has shifted the crosshairs back to dotted rather than solid. LH this morning was low and the high yesterday was lower than last week's peak. The EWCM was such a teeny amount yesterday and I had quite a bit last week. I don't know what to think! Will do another OPK in a couple of hours. Apparently temp dips during the luteal phase are common due to fluctuating hormones so that dip yesterday on its own doesn't necessarily mean much. I don't know what to think 😂 but will DTD again today just in case.

Your poor DH it is such a pressurising situation. I was worried this would happen to my DH as he is a stresshead and a couple of weeks back after a TTC convo he had trouble staying hard even though it wasn't fertile window, he's really surprised me these last two week by rising to the occasion, pun intended lol. I think what may have helped is that I have used preseed before DTD each time so that we don't have to faff about with foreplay for me and made it about him and then started with me on top so he can just relax then switch to missionary. I am not normally so selfless when it comes to foreplay 😂 but I was anticipating possible issues with him feeling the pressure

Damn forgot the chart lol

@CookieMonster3001 Your poor DH, I really feel for him. It definitely does sound like the pressure is coming from himself more than it is from you. Good luck, hopefully your plan works! 🤞😁

@TheNewMrsW Hahaha, your comments made me laugh! Your graph is really difficult to read. I reckon FF's initial ovulation day is correct. Especially if your most recent peak was less than the one a few days ago?

As a side note FF told me off today. Apparently my fertility signs don't add up 😂🙄. It's having a huff at me because EWCM always stops a day or two before I get my peak OPK which apparently is wrong 🤷.