Anyone been trying for 5 months plus and want to chat?

[AKcheer]

Going into cycle 6 after AF...feeling deflated! Anyone else been trying for this time and want to chat and keep each other company and positive words!?

Hey @Lynne425 I’m sorry to hear about your BFN but your not out until she fully arrives!!! Good idea though, I’ve seen a few people take a break for now around xmas...sometimes it’s nice to relax and recharge batteries isn’t it. It’s really sad I set myself 3 goals in 2020, my most important being getting pregnant and I achieved 0 of them!!!

@AKcheer
If it's meant to be it will be!! Sometimes it happens when you don't expect it!!

My friends tried for over a year and then they booked appointments to get tests etc, stopped actively trying (tracking etc) and the day before the hospital appointment got their BFP!!

As you say I'm not completely out until AF arrives but I've zero symptoms and a BFP the day before she's due so waiting for her to arrive now xx

@8LPS also been trying since April with no success. The biggest frustration is not being able to plan anything due to not knowing if/when a pregnancy will happen.
I am also well a truly sick of having soul destroying functional sex just because I am ovulating.

@Kirby173 I am using premom app. Did you try BD around the most fertile days every cycle? They put the ovulation day and two days before as the most fertile days. Have you tried PdG tests after an LH peak? Heard this test can help to double-check ovulation.

Hi, I've been there and come out the other side. There's a reason the NHS in most cases won't fund IVF for people who haven't been trying for two years - that is that the majority of people get pregnant within two years of trying naturally. Therefore, it's very likely it will happen, just.not exactly when you'd like it to, your body just needs a little more time. However, it's always worth getting things checked out with your GP after 3 or 6 months of trying. Good luck.

@Molsy - Good luck with everything. It can all be so so disheartening, which then adds to the pressure. Exactly, Christmas will be a nice chilled out one for you. I have everything crossed that this can and will happen for you, and everybody else here! You are not alone.

@Rose2108 - yess I heard the same thing - the man needs to replenish his 'load' so to speak haha. Plus I sort of have to contend with a DH who has a far lower libido than me so when functional DTD when ovulating can at times feel like a chore rather than fun, I have to try motivate DH as well which is a double chore. It's definitely tough at times.
Haha your gymnast comment really got me! - I put something under my lower back and keep my legs up too - only I can't straighten them so they end up shaking like mad lol! Might use the wall for support next time. I did hear that legs in the air makes no difference because your hips/pelvis still aren't tilted backwards, but I'd hope that the pillow underneath must help..?! There's nothing to lose by doing it :)
PS - I'm going to give Conceive+ a go - had no idea that even existed! Thanks for mentioning!

@Kirby173 - oh I'm so sorry, that's awful. The sitting down and crying part is the absolute worst. I think a lot of us will have been there, and done that. Sometimes you can do so many things correctly, but I guess it's just up to those 'perfect' conditions that are needed in order to conceive - which is probably why we only have a 20% or 25% chance each month. Sometimes it's so easy for me to have the 'what will be, will be' thinking, but it is constantly a rollercoaster of emotions! Then I try to stop myself from worrying because stress isn't good...! It's my cycle of madness haha!
Yeahh the CB fancy ones just make it so easy to understand what the result is. I haven't looked at the box recently, but I'm pretty sure you get quite a few of them in a pack too! Possibly could find them cheaper on Amazon, or using a price comparison website..? This whole process can defo be financially draining!
To be honest, I usually don't do a pg test. I just wait for AF cus I know deep down she'll be coming :-| lol...I'm a hopeless hopeful! Last night I think I was experiencing AF symptoms (I'm due Friday), but I try not to get my hopes up that they're pg symptoms cus I know I'll be bitterly disappointed.
Did you say your AF is due Saturday? You have an amazing friend right there, lining up the prosecco for you if you get a BFN. But good luck, I'm wishing for no prosecco, and a BFP for you!!!

Hey guys how are you? AF has arrived this morning :( I’m so disheartened I just feel like crying. I just don’t get why this journey is so difficult and I feel like I’m really struggling now. Can’t explain how shit I feel and don’t want to tell my hubby we’re out again. Starting to think there is something wrong with me :(

@Leavingitlate - I totally get you. Every month, I'm thinking - oh no, I'm getting closer and closer to 1 year of trying, which means we may have to actually take this further with a Doctor. Didn't think conceiving would be a walk in the park, but never thought it'd be like this! Our train of thought in April was - well we're in lockdown, we've got nothing else to do so let's be productive! Thought I'd be at a different stage right now but sadly not. Part of me thinks it was just pure naivety - the first cycle that we tried, I actually thought about baby shower themes! How dumb! :(

Ah yep I feel you all! I've been spotting for a few days myself, and now got my pre-af headache, so af is happening.

I've noticed I've not really had any ewcm since I started taking 7seas ttc bits, so I'm swapping them for just basic fa, and will see if that changes. I'll also look at what my heathcare through work covers (I'm 36 and a half now, so I think need to seek medical advice as we've been trying since the summer). I would just see my gp, but think they might be quote busy at the mo with covid/this new vaccine.

I bought a voucher during the last lockdown, for a piercing/tattoo shop. I think I may treat myself to an early christmas present and get my ear done with something pretty and shiny.

Here's hoping 2021 is kinder to us all! X

@AKcheer I'm so sorry AF has come. You're right, the journey is so painful at times, but please be kind to yourself. Try not to take the burden all on yourself and think that it's you with the problem.
I know myself that there's not a lot I could say to help you feel better right now, but please do something nice for yourself tonight - a hot bath, funny movie, something you enjoy doing.
This feeling really is horrible and it hurts, but we are all here with you XX

Thanks @8LPS it really does hurt :( it’s just so hard i feel like I have noone to turn to. What do I do? Do I speak to the GP? Do I get private tests done? It’s just such a difficult time. This month everything was so different as well. The random bleed I had as well (potentially implantation) I just don’t know. Why is this such a hard journey. Don’t know what to do feel so down

Hi @Louisa199 I have tried PdG but I test daily even after peak to check LH levels stay down. I might look into this for this month if unsuccessful though! I’ve attached a pic from my Premom app for this month and I don’t think we could have really done anything else to increase our chances but it’s like this every month 😩 I had the CM, cramping on side everything!

@8LPS aww it’s fine it’s just hyping myself up to be let down month after month. I aren’t feeling too bad this month though but keep getting waves of “ooh maybe I am” 🤦🏽‍♀️ Genuinely feel like there’s two halves of me, one that’s super reasonable and sensible and the other is very unrealistic 😂

Yep AF due Saturday and my plan is to hold out until Friday for testing! I will keep you all posted of course. As if you have that much willpower to wait for AF I’ve probably spent thousands on tests I’m obsessed with peeing on sticks 😩

@AKcheer I’m so sorry about your arrival of AF. You’re allowed to be upset it’s horrible every month and it never gets easier when AF arrives or when you see that BFN. If I were you I would tell your husband ASAP because not telling him and delaying it will make you feel worse. You’re in this together and you need support. Allow yourself that cry and to be upset this is an awful time. As one of the ladies said above though, the reason it’s so hard to try and get IVF is because people sometimes don’t fall pregnant naturally right away. How long did you say you have been TTC now? Sorry I can’t skip back without losing my comment! I feel horrible for you this journey is so hard.

@Birchybirch I’m so jealous I love a new piercing! Yes definitely treat yourself this year has been horrible! Might be worth looking at a multivitamin because I was advised by GP to take vitamin D too. I’m taking the pregnacare ones and my husband is taking the ones for him. You can get them in a combo pack but aside from yellow wee we have both been fine on them!

To you ladies that have mentioned this was a goal of 2020 and you haven’t achieved it please remember this is totally out of your control and you have done all you can. It’s so sad to hear you feel like you have failed but actually, this year in general is an absolute write off. Be kind to yourselves, we’ve all had to completely overhaul how we are used to living because of a worldwide pandemic. You haven’t failed at all 💕

I hope you’re all okay. This is a horrible time for us all but we will support each other. xxx

Hey @Kirby173 thanks for your lovely words. I’ve seen a couple people talk about pdg? What is this? It just never gets easier does it in fact I think it gets so much worse :( I just want to cry. I’ve whatsapped him and told him will wait until he comes and sees me (both wfh). This was cycle 6 so I feel like it would have happened by now :( don’t know whether to go for private fertility tests and see if I can get booked in somewhere

@Kirby173 ah yes going to take vitamin d with it too (definitely not enough sunshine in the North of England at the mo!). The pregnacare ones put me off slightly as they also are meant to adjust your hormones slightly, like the ss ones. I don't think it's necessarily a bad thing, but I think I'd rather put my body back to basics, and have a doc see if I'm deficient in anything.

Aww @AKcheer it's horrid telling them. I couldn't help get upset when I told my husband this morning. Like the others have said, take care of yourself. Have a good cry as/when needed, but then come back fighting! We'll get though this! 💪 X

Hi everyone, just checking in! On CD25 now and I’m getting some of my regular PMS symptoms now like clockwork...so I assume I’m out but will wait and see if AF turns up by the weekend! Will be pretty gutted but hoping it just comes early if it’s going to come at all.

Hi @8LPS, I know what you mean with not knowing when to DTD, everything I read says something different! I think generally every few days around the fertile window should cover it. We’ve tried the sperm meets egg plan this month which is fairly full on but luckily I ovulated earlyish (for me - CD15) so we weren’t too worn out haha.

@Lynne425 has AF appeared for you? I’m also planning on just enjoying Christmas and not ‘properly’ trying next month if it doesn’t happen this cycle. Hope you are feeling ok!

@Molsy keep us posted, hope this is your month x

Ahh my thread has only just refreshed after I posted for some reason! @AKcheer so sorry to hear AF has arrived. I know how disappointing it is and we are all here for you, please feel free to vent on here - this thread has helped me so much. I hope you can take your mind off it a bit and next month is luckier for you 💗

I've bit the bullet, and sent an enquiry to my doctors surgery. Through their app, you can submit a form listing your issues/queries/etc and within 2 days they are supposed to give me a call. I thought this was a good option for me as I realise they'll be really busy I presume with covid vaccines and things.

Cried all the way through filling out the form, but now feel a sense of calm, that I've got the ball rolling on any medical interventions I may need (of course this is all dependant on how well the app works and if they get back to me...).

Anyway, the reason for the post is just to say, if anyone else is struggling too, please remember that it's OK to ask them for help 🙂

Thanks @Birchybirch just feel like a let down to be honest. I’ve just seen you’ve reached out to your doctor! Please keep me up to date on how it goes and what they say and recommend.

@JLP256 I know I’m so disappointed and upset!! What an end to a SHIT year!!! I just want this so bad! Yup il keep being on this thread.
Love chatting to you guys keeps me sane and will be nice to c through who gets their bfps!!!

I just don’t know whether it’s too early to go to a fertility test? What’s everyone think?

Also who’s waiting to find out this week!?

@AKcheer ah please don't think of yourself as a letdown. The situation is a letdown, but you certainly are not! I told my husband I was broken before and he told me off (in a nice way). Please remember, this is not our fault.

Yeah I'll definitely keep you all updated on what happens next! X

@Birchybirch aww bless you I’m glad you are feeling better after submitting. As you say you have got the ball rolling now! Let us know what they say. I got my implant removed early this year because we decided to start trying and the doctors were super helpful even through the pandemic. Their stance was you are fully entitled to start a family and you shouldn’t have to delay that due to current circumstances so I hope they are the same with you and they act quickly!

I didn’t realise they impacted so much to be honest! For now I am happy on these anyway but I’ve had others that have made me feel nauseous before so just grateful they don’t make me want to hurl haha.

Aww @AKcheer I know what you mean when you say you feel like you are a let down but you absolutely are not. It’s not like you are doing this on purpose but I felt exactly the same when I saw that BFN and you do pick up again. You’re probably at your lowest right now especially with hormones from AF. How was your partner after telling him? I hope you are both okay. Fully entitled to feel rubbish though I think every single one of these girls has felt the same at some stage. Cry as much as you want maybe have a glass of something nice tonight too. Maybe reach out to your doctor too as they might be able to offer some general advice?
Also PDG are progesterone tests I think. I don’t know much about them as my tests I buy only measure LH but I’m willing to try anything really.

@JLP256 I hope AF is a no show for you! Please keep us updated. I’m due AF Saturday but going to test Friday. Everything crossed for you.

Hey All

As expected AF arrived this afternoon!! Gutted as I did think deep down there may have been a small chance but it's obviously not meant to be!!

I'm gonna cuddle up tonight with some comfy pjs and try to focus on myself over Xmas!!

According to Glow my next AF is due 5th January so you never know might be a nice wee start to the year but I'm taking a month off from opks etc as they don't obviously work for me!!

Hope your all doing ok and 🤞🏻🤞🏻 for all still waiting this year xx

@Birchybirch trying not too! I’ve spoke to hubby so feel better now. Will get to the gym and in a few days start this again! Fingers crossed 2021 is more positive. If it’s a no next month think I shall call docs. Let’s see if they speak to me lol

@Kirby173 it’s just such a rubbish feeling isn’t it? He was ok he was quite down too. He did say he wished we started earlier which is what I wanted to do however he had work stuff going on was here there and everywhere and he wasn’t bothered then!! So nice little reminder I gave to him! Yeah I think we will see how this cycle goes and then il reach out to the doctor. They might say nothing but me and hubby think we’re happy to pay private for tests just to make sure everything is ok!! Yeah to be honest I’m getting tired of OPKs as well. I just feel I need to go back to the time of not worrying about OPKs just go with the flow! I’m a go gym clear my head and relax and look forward to wine on Friday x

Hey @Lynne425 my AF also arrived today. I’m sorry yours arrived. Good idea and that’s my plan as well just relax and go with the flow. I think I might forget these opks too and see if it’s better! I’m due on 6th jan so with you there!! Fingers crossed we have lots of luck and have an amazing start to the year ❤️

@Kirby173 :( I'm so sorry. I know how you feel. Every month comes the feeling of failure and then or worry! I always send him a WhatsApp too as it seems easier to deal with it on our own and then come together. I know we've said it 100 times but you have a 20% chance each cycle which means an 80% chance you won't ... Which sucks but might help reassure you that it's normal to take this long to TTC.

@AKcheer. @Lynne425 - sorry it's not your months either ladies. Must be something in the air for us all! Be kind to yourself and enjoy some prosecco :)

Good for you @Birchybirch and yes please do let us know how you get on!

I really feel like my husband and I will struggle - I'm not sure why - but just get the feeling it won't be any time soon for us. I've told myself we will go to the Drs in March which will be one year of TTC. Weirdly I feel quite content that we have something to work towards and then a plan if all else fails. I'll still only be 31 then.

I've just used one of those CB OPK's, my femometer app says today I am "highly fertile" but on the test it says no way José! A plain boring circle, no smiley in sight. I'm glad I've done these tests, I am starting to think I don't know my cycle at all... and starting to wonder if I've even been ovulating !!

Hoping you all have a good day xx p.s we need to make a new thread this one will end soon I think!! X

Hey @Rose2108 thanks for your kind words. It’s weird it’s a day of sadness when AF comes then it’s like onto the 2nd day and when this is over let’s do this again! So it’s then exciting again!!

I know how you feel I also feel that way. Don’t know why but there’s something which scares me isn’t eighth. I also just turned 31 to. How weird!? Do you know what I’m just thinking of ditching OPKs and doing it every other day now. I don’t know if that will give me a better chance!!

Ooh when does this thread end? Didn’t realise we’d need to make a new one!!!

Morning everyone. I hope you are all feeling okay?

@Lynne425 just seen the news about AF I’m so sorry. You are right though what a way to potentially start the new year eh if you got a BFP!

@AKcheer bless you yeah too right if you to remind him!!! You feeling better today or still down? Yeah if your GP can’t help then getting checked to just make sure you are both okay might be a good idea. I’m not saying there is anything wrong with you it will just be worth every penny for reassurance that everything is okay or flagging if something is wrong I guess. My SIL and partner after years of trying got checked and discovered his sperm count was low because he plays rugby so had been damaged. They went in for IVF and was successful first time 🥰 I agree about the OPK obsession I just can’t stop them I just like to see that positive confirming the LH rise has happened. Wish I could I think it puts more pressure on you when TTC.

@Rose2108 aww hi I am unsure if you’ve tagged me accidentally above but not out just yet but feel I might be by Saturday! (That’s when AF is due for me) I’m 11DPO today so just waiting as long as I can to test now! Just saying to the other ladies I’ve got Prosecco waiting for me if a BFN at a friends house so it won’t be a bad conciliation prize I guess.
With your femometer and CB tests that just sums up how difficult it is to figure out our bodies doesn’t it!!! So frustrating!

@Molsy sorry if I missed an update but how are you getting on?

How is everyone else doing? I’m unsure on what’s going on symptoms of AF that I usually get like tender breasts keeps starting and stopping and I am just trying to ignore everything right now! This feels like the longest cycle ever probably because I havent tested 2DPO onwards or something hahaha 😂🤦🏽‍♀️