TTC after MC - November 2020 (Thread 15)

[VP91x]

Hi All,

Please tag anyone from the old thread 🥰🥰

And anyone else who would like to join please do xx

Took another test today 13 days post procedure for MMC and still a strong positive although not as strong as last week so will test again at the weekend. Hopefully going in the right direction but it's so so deflating although kind of reassuring to know others are in the same boat.

@TheDaydreamBelievers I'm also so confused with all the conflicting advice and what ladies on here have been told. That's the first time I've heard no sex until after a period though! I think I'm ovulating as had ov pain and EWCM although tinged brown so may have missed the boat anyway before next period as I'm in two minds if we should before the test is a clear negative 🤦🏼‍♀️

Hi everyone, I now think i'm maybe 5-6 dpo according to when I got a peak on clear blue.
I've been testing which is crazy lol but they are DEFO negative, I'm 3 weeks past surgical managment today.
Going to try and leave it another week before I test again as that would roughly be when my period is due xx

I’m wondering if OPKs are working as well as normal after all this @Bellabubble or if they’re not as accurate if theres even a hint of a line of a pregnancy test. I really have no idea at all though! When did you start using them again? Because of my irregular cycles I used them last time or I’d never have been able to pinpoint ovulation, so keen to use them again!

I actually remember you saying that before now you’ve mentioned it @TheDaydreamBelievers have you got your negative test yet? It really is crazy how the advice is so different; surely they’d all be consistent 🤦‍♀️

Glad to hear you’re getting similar results @bez91 my line came up instantly this morning and got darker and darker very quickly 😩 I’ve kept it so I can compare it to next weeks when I take another one

@PumpkinEverything the lh can go dark due to pregnancy hormones. Mine came out as high a couple of days after the squinter on my frer pg - but it wasn’t as dark as my normal opks have gone before - so I’m not sure how much I trusted it! After my last mmc I ovulated on cd21, which was about 2.5 weeks after I had finished bleeding, but that mc ended naturally

@bubblybrit I’m 37 next year too - OH and I started trying straight away both times as I didn’t want to feel like I was losing time x

@bubblybrit but others have waited a cycle or two - it all depends on how you guys both feel xx

Thank you for your kind words @susiebluebell. I’ve taken some time off work to try and process everything. DH, on the other hand, has thrown himself into work but I guess we all deal with things differently.

I’m trying not to think too far ahead but it’s so disheartening to think about starting the TTC journey from scratch again.

I feel conflicted as want to grieve my loss but I also want to conceive again as soon as possible (obviously as I want a baby but also as I’m almost 37 so do feel the clock is ticking).

@Bellabubble. I’m not too sure DH and I are on the same page at the moment. Think we may wait a cycle or two as I don’t think he would be quite ready any earlier and don’t want to rush him.

@HappyVibes I’ve just spotted you had some results - that’s good they were all fine! If you don’t mind me asking, was it a private or NHS appointment? And was it specifically for recurrent miscarriage? I had one just before my most recent miscarriage and strongly feel progesterone might be my problem - I’m wondering whether to see if i can get another appointment now and ask, but I was under the impression the NHS don’t do progesterone because of the NICE guidelines. Pleased you’ve got it though!

@RichmondLady1981 sorry to hear about the AF disappointment - I’m with you on extra appreciating my son. It’s all so tough, but I hope 2021 is going to bring you a sibling for your little one.

@familybythesea it was an NHS referral lovely. I am so so happy honestly. It feels like a HUGE relief and huge pressure lifted. I knew I wanted progesterone and aspirin, and she mentioned it before I did so I was really impressed. My referral was for recurrent MC lovely.
Xxxx

Sorry for your losses to the newcomers, it’s such a difficult experience but it is really helpful to see others going through the same thing (and getting positive news!).

@bubblybrit my experience was quite similar to yours, I had a scan at 11 weeks and the pregnancy had stopped at about 9 weeks. It felt so close to that “safe” point. I was also picturing having my toddler and a baby, and to be honest I’m still finding it a little hard seeing toddlers and babies together. On the other hand this experience has made me unimaginably grateful for my first pregnancy being a healthy one. When the news was more fresh I couldn’t picture thinking about ttc again, but when it came to it I couldn’t picture going back on birth control either. I think we might just take a more relaxed approach to it for a few cycles.

I’ve never managed to use ovulation tests or temperature tracking as when I tried that before my first pregnancy all my results were completely insane and unreadable (I do have irregular cycles and endometriosis so maybe that messes with it) - we just dtd every other day to make it simpler.

Hey all hope you are all fine and well. I've been awol. I think I will be taking a back seat and letting life do its thing. Taking an active approach at changing what's in my hands and that is exercising recently. I have been told I have Pcos. Seem to be told left right and centre that my weight is my problem. At 29.2 BMI. So I've decided I'm going to concentrate on that. I feel like it's the only thing I know I can change. I can't make myself ovulate. Or have eggs mature. So I'll just exercise.

Sounds like I'm having a moan. But I'm not ready to fight the docs just yet.

Just wanted to thank you all ladies for supporting in the last few months.

@HappyVibes that’s so useful to know, thank you. I miscarried again just after my recurrent mc appointment so feel like I missed out on getting any real help because they thought it was just ‘bad luck’ before - I’ll see if I can get another one now. One last question - did your results show low progesterone? I hope this all does the trick for you!!

Morning @Furbsies best of luck with it! Really hope things go well for you and you get all you desire xx

@Furbsies wishing you well! Exercise is such a good thing to focus on for so many reasons and especially when you've had difficulties because the benefit to your mental health alone is unmeasurable. I'm no fitness fanatic but it's pulled me out of some crappy places!

Thank you @vitaminb33. I just feel so sad at the moment that thinking about TTC fills me with dread. However I am also worried about waiting too long given my age. I’m so conflicted. I’ve also got DH feelings to take into consideration but he is the ‘sensible and cautious’ type so I think he’d want to wait a little while. The uncertainty of next steps is making me really anxious.

@bubblybrit I have been where you are and it takes all your strength to prevent yourself obsessing sometimes, especially when you're in those early days of grief. It's still so soon after the event hun!

Are you and your DH talking about it, on the same page etc? Would maybe an option like 'not trying, not preventing' be a good plan for the time being? That's what we have been doing for the whole of our time TTC - he knows I track my cycle but doesn't want/need to be any more involved and it stops it becoming obsessive for me. I mean I definitely do make sure we have sex around ovulation, but kind of 'going with the flow' works well for us in terms of simplicity and no pressure.

Hope you two can become stronger together in this xx

Afternoon all. I am currently on 12 DPO. Have been having cramps since 8/9 DPO - similar cramps to my previous two pregnancies - like a pulling/pinching feeling rather than a normal cramp. Normally I only get cramps 1-2 days before AF. Also had a hot flush at 9 DPO which I only ever get when pregnant.

Have also had a more positive OPK yesterday than I normally get around this time in cycle (much darker than 2 days prior) so I think I may be pregnant. Have not taken a test as myself and my husband agreed we were going to wait until AF is due on Friday.

What are peoples opinions on early testing after either one or multiple miscarriages. I am so scared that it is going to be positive on Friday but then I am going to start to go into my normal anxieties around "how dark the line short or shouldn't be".

Part of me is tempted to wait a little longer to test, but equally this close to Xmas - I want to know due to alcohol and so we can start to put a plan in place for hiding my no drinking it from family members.

Do you guys tend to test early? I don't know what to do. I am so scared to go through it again, this would be my third pregnancy this year.

Thank you all in advance!

I should also know I know when I ovulated as I temp and take OPK - so deffo accurate with my
DPO.

I have also identified my two previous pregnancies with an OPK test before confirming with a PT.

Hi @Furbsies good to hear from you. Well done, I think that's a great plan, weight and exercise is something we do have control over so and can help us mentally as well by releasing endorphins. I USED to work out 4-5 times a week before pregnancy, slow and steady is the key, if you can't do something, modify then increase. Best of luck and let us know how you get on.

@J785948 I only took a PT because of a very strong OT when AF was due! Didn't want to waste a PT on getting a negative haha. I would hold out if you can, so many times our mind plays tricks on us making us think we've done it only to have our hopes shattered. Depends what you find easier, for me AF arriving was easier than a negative PT so personally I'd wait until AF is 1 day late. Good luck!!

I’m not sure which page we are both on @susiebluebell. My DH has thrown himself into work and hasn’t really opened up much.

I actually have no idea about how he feels about trying again. I just know that by his nature he’ll likely want to wait a while until things settle down. I’m just not sure if I’m that patient as feel that my age is against me and know that it can take a while to conceive again.

I guess I’m kinda reluctant to bring it up as don’t want to seem as if I’m dismissing our loss. It’s hurts so much this now but I can’t imagine my future without a second child.

@J785948 Hi lovely. I hope you are well. Symptom spotting is quite natural, you cant help but connect the dots. Like you, I’m pretty sure I’m pregnant through the way I feel (same early symptoms as my previous two pregnancies). On the other hand, I’ve only just MCd a few weeks ago so I wont be testing until AF is late and perhaps even after too.

Unfortunately both of my previous pregnancies were unsuccessful. One at 5 weeks (chemical pregnancy) and one at 9.5weeks (growth stopped at 7.5 weeks). For this reason Im extremely anxious about the next pregnancy and have promised myself that I will hold off testing as long as possible, but still take the precautions (assuming I am pregnant).

There is no right or wrong way about it, but I’d hate to go through my last experiences again, so personally will be holding out at long as possible before testing.

Hi @j785948 I'd agree with the others and say wait till AF is a day late. It's very exciting and hopeful-sounding, but in your position I'd want to minimise confusion and second-guessing! Fingers crossed for you x

@bubblybrit I'm so sorry, it sounds rough for you at the moment. Please do try and find a way to bring it up with DH though. Me and my partner had a weird miscommunication over it which only got resolved recently, though the miscarriage was in August. We were in different parts of the country when it happened (although he was amazing over the phone) and when we were back together we discussed it properly maybe once. I thought that he had gone away to think about it and would bring it up again but he didn't. So I was going around feeling more and more like he didn't really care about having kids and like I was weak for not moving on from the miscarriage like he had. Meanwhile we had gone back to normal dtd and trying and things were good otherwise. But I finally broke down and cried and he was flabbergasted, he had processed it and thought I had too, and couldn't believe I was still grieving and hadn't told him! It felt so good to be back on the same page, we both agreed we really did want to TTC and since then it's been much easier to talk about. What I'm trying to say is don't let it build up like I did until it becomes the elephant in the room! Talk talk talk x

Hi can anyone else see a faint positive on this? I think I can which means I'm still not testing negative 2 weeks after miscarriage? EPU told me to ring them 2 weeks after with results but not sure I'd this worth telling them if it's only a faint positive

Sorry I've attached a better picture