TTC after MC - November 2020 (Thread 15)

[VP91x]

Hi All,

Please tag anyone from the old thread 🥰🥰

And anyone else who would like to join please do xx

Hi @vitaminb33 and @sazzle1685 welcome! Looking forward to following along with your journeys x

[quote RichmondLady1981]**@susiebluebell* wipe the slate clean and get ready for the next cycle. It’s weird but I remember a few ladies having longer cycles with no reason. In fact I’m sure @Runnergirl1* had no reason for a extra long cycle once and then she got her BFP! I’m sure I haven’t just made that up. Stay positive. X

@Hopefulmummie so sorry to hear you’re in pain. Hope you feel better soon x[/quote]
Thanks so much @RichmondLady1981. I need a good kick up the bum this week.

I've been thinking that a lot of the frustration and stress with TTC comes from having our own timetable of when we want things to happen - maybe others can relate. I was so happy to initially get pregnant before I turned 30 (no real reason, I love being 30 in general) and after MC I've been thinking I want to get pregnant again before Christmas or before the year ends. Or be pregnant before my original due date this coming April. They're all things that I have decided are deadlines and my body is clearly working to a different rhythm. It's hard to let go of those 'deadlines' but I think I'll be the happier for it.

Hope everyone else is having a good week. I'm studying from home this week so other students can travel home if need be. A bit boring but plenty of housework is getting done as I procrastinate studies! Xx

Ur so right @susiebluebell
I am trying so hard not to stress about timelines and putting deadlines on me getting pregnant.
IVF is still in the back of our minds but we would be self funded, after this most recent MC I feel like its too much money when the odds of success are low and I've now had 2 miscarriages.

I am 36 now so in my head I have just committed to trying until i'm 40 and hope it happens at some point.

It's not been an easy year for ttc with Covid, too much time to think and not enough to distract ourselves xx

Thank you @HappyVibes and @Hanbanxx, it's hard but it's strangely reassuring to see so many people going through the same.

Hi @molsxox glad to see you - you're right I think one of the reason's it's nice to have a thread like this is because ttc after a miscarriage is so fraught with both wanting to be pregnant and being scared.

Hi Ladies, I hope you are keeping well and looking forward to the possibilities the future can bring.

I've been quiet for a few days, not commenting but certainly keeping updated on the thread. As many of you have said, it is oddly reassuring to see many others in similar situations.

Like you @susiebluebell and @elsimo I have always tried to work towards deadlines that I have set for myself and on this matter it just is not working. I keep trying to distance myself from having such deadlines but as you know a lot easier said than done!

I'm MC'd on through MMC on 26 Nov, so it is coming upto two weeks. I am still holding out for the slightest hope that I could be pregnant before AF turning up at the door. Very unlikely as my OH and I haven't been trying in terms of DTD regularly and well timed. Lets see..

My bleeding was extremely heavy the first 3 days, but then went done significantly over the next 3 days. 4 days on, it was just very light spotting. For about 3-4 days, I haven't bled at all, so we have felt comfortable to try again (without the pressure). I think it's fair to say, everyone's experience is different and it really is a decision of the heart when you and your partner feel ready. I have heard DTD should be avoided whilst there is bleeding to avoid an infection.

On a personal level, I feel the anxiety and almost fear of the next pregnancy as I have now have 2 MCs. I would like to stay I'm in a positive mindset, but at the same time can't help the "what if" thoughts.

Any advice/guidance would be really appreciated.

Sending you all lots of love xx

Hi ladies I'm hoping I can join as I am feeling really low this month. I've had 2 misscarriages 1 mmc at 12weeks and 1 at 9 weeks.. Babies both measured behind. Since mc no. 2 I have been ttc 12 months. I have a fertility appointment this week but it has caused so much tension between my husband and I. I think he's stressed and taking it out on me, he's complaining about the stress of it as it will leave him late for work which it is shit in his work so hard to get time off.. And then he was annoyed I told my family about the appointment and has been really off with me.. Its me who really is dying for a baby not him so part of me thinks I should be grateful but the other part wishes he would be more supportive and realise how stressful it is for me.. Xxx

@ni101 I agree I think you know in your heart if you want to try again. I think as long as you have stopped bleeding more than a few days you should be fine. If your really concerned you could use ovulation tests so ur only having sex if you are ovulating if that makes sense? Also are you showing negative on pregnancy tests now? If so that's a good sign. All the best whatver you decide xxx

Hi @sarahdaydreamer1234 - I'm sorry that you find yourself on the thread, but rest assured we have all experienced similar things and you will find a ton of helpful advice here.

It really is a stressful time for partners for various reasons. I think its just because of the sensitive nature of the subject and that we all react in different ways. I'm sure you would have heard this before, but try and speak to eachother with no distractions in a comfortable environment for both of you. For some people it might be on an evening stroll and for others over a meal, or anywhere else. I have found that when I am stressed out, I tend to tell my OH what he is doing to upset me, not realising he isn't doing it on purpose. I now pay extra attention on how I'm expressing myself to him as I don't want it to be come an accusation but rather.. "you doing this makes me feel like this". In the end, we understand it is a difficult time and we are in this together.

Good luck with the appointment. xx

@NI101 so sorry that you're in this situation... so sad that there is so many of us. I miscarried on 29th November at 6 weeks, I had very painful, heavy bleeding to begin with but the bleeding in total lasted four days. We've been TTC since. I'm taking OPKs, none are positive but have been DTD every day/every other day. I would love to fall pregnant before period is due but I think that might be a bit too optimistic. I haven't actually taken a test since the MC but my hormone levels were so low at 15 just two days after so I think I would be negative now xx

@susiebluebell. @RichmondLady1981 is right I had a random long 41day cycle and the next cycle I fell pregnant. It stressed me out and really worried me but I take it as my body resetting x

So sorry so many ladies are joining us over here. Hope you are all recovering well and have support you all need c

Hi @hanbanxx - Sorry for your loss. I really believe every pregnancy loss is painful regardless of the stage it was at. I had my first loss at 5 weeks, I was super excited to test at the time and received a positive result at 3 weeks. I was devastated. This time I lost at 9 weeks but scan showed growth had stopped at 7 weeks. Both times for me were just as difficult to process.

@Sarahdaydreamer1234 - I tested after 1 week of the MC and had a strong positive result. I tested again this morning (nearly 2 weeks post MC) and the line was very faint but still there. I will take another test next week now to confirm a negative result.

To make things more complicated, had a peak fertility result on my OPK 1 week post MC, and then a fertile result yesterday which doesn't make much sense to me. But I've given up on trying to understand, this cycle will always be a tricky one to get my head around.

@ni101 thank you for your advice your right he doesn't mean it I just expect him to be more supportive sometimes.. I think bringing up now will just cause a row ill maybe wait until the appointment is over.

l think the pregnancy hormone can affect OPKs that's maybe why they have been positive so quickly..i don't think the fact that pregnancy hormones are still in your system is a problem in itself I just know it means its fully over for definite and it might be tricky in a few weeks to know if ur pregnant if your still getting positives..xx

Sorry I meant when you have a negetive test you know for sure it's all over(or at least thats how I felt) but as long as the hcg is going down and ur tests are more faint then I think that's the main thing

@elsimo do you track your ovulation pains with when you ovulate at all? So enpeople get them a few days before ovulating (I do - as I get mine a few days before my bbt rises) and others get it on the day of.

I only just got a vvvvvvvv feint line on a FRER today, 2 and a half weeks post surgical management! If I were in the TWW I’d be looking at it thinking it was a tentative bfp - but as it was so feint I think my hcg may have fallen enough 🤞🏻 to trigger ovulation soon..so I did an cheapy LH (pic attached) and it is darker than the one I did the other day - will do another tomorrow to see if it gets darker! My bbt is still low so haven’t ovulated yet - am hoping it ties in nicely with this weekend! xx

Also - hello to those of you just joining - I’m so sorry you find yourself here, but I can assure you it is really supportive! I joined in Feb/March after my first mmc and it has been a lifesaver!

@sarahdaydreamer1234 wishing you all the best for your appointment. I hope you and your partner feel less stressed after it.

I'm hoping to get a negative result by next week at the earliest. Once I have this, I won't test (or so I say) until the new year. AF is due just before xmas, but who knows when she will come as this is my first cycle post MC. If AF doesn't come, then I want to wait as long as possible before testing.

This plan of mine works in theory, but in the past every time its approaching that time of the month, I'm go through so many tests, becoming slightly obsessive. I'm trying to take a more back seat approach this time.

@Bellabubble no I don't actually but I'm going to start doing that and my temp I think.

I've attached the pic of the cheapy I did this morning yet clearblue gave me a peak fertility result!

Thats good u are almost getting negative tests again. Fingers crossed for ovulation soon xx

@NI101 my AF is due couple days before xmas 2, i'm going to test 24th just to make sure before I have a drink at xmas xx

@ni101 thank u so much!!

Sounds like a good plan.. I know its the worst I can't not test if I'm a day late!! Needless to say I've wasted a lot of money on tests 🤣I always find that, as my periods are a bit irregular, if I know when I've ovulated I'm nearly more relaxed and then I know 14 days later i really am late but if i don't know when i've ovulated then it's a guessing game when I'm actually due!

@NI101 hey lovely, if you still had a faint positive this morning, the clearblue digi will be off because of the remaining hormones as yet lovely. Xxx

Aww @Bellabubble I’ve been thinking about you lovely. I hope your ovulation comes soon, as I know this was a saving grace for us in feeling like we were moving forward xxx

Nice to hear from you @Bellabubble - hoping that ovulation happens soon. 😀.

@HappyVibes tested yet? 😀

Hey @RichmondLady1981 not today lovely. I’m 14dpo today and one app predicted AF today...my other two apps predict tomorrow and Saturday. So we shall see how long I hold out for eek. You staying strong so far? Xxx

@HappyVibes morning. Wow I’m impressed. Both apps say AF Sunday for me and like you I think I’ll try to hold out. Usually my apps predict ovulation really well but ovulation came three days early this cycle. Confirmed by OPKs and BBT rise. So not sure if it will affect day AF arrives. Will prob hold out as would rather see AF than a stark white preg test! 😂